FOREWORD (67 page)

When I come home from work on certain days, she has her Nancy Friday

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bridge club at the house, and as soon as I walk in I’m ordered to strip down, crawl on all fours over to my wife, and kiss her feet and ass. She then removes the metal “thimble” she has fastened to my penis which I am required to wear at all times when she’s not with me. This device is attached to my penis by a wire which goes through two holes she had pierced into my foreskin. The “thimble” has a small hole so I can urinate with it on, but can do nothing else while it’s on. The other girls are always fascinated by this device and the way it permits my wife to maintain full control over me even while we’re apart. (I cannot remove it myself, since it must be done with a small key that only she has.) Once the thimble is off, I am told to masturbate myself and ejaculate into a plate with everyone watching. Then I must lick up the semen from the plate until it is dry. Then I must perform cunnilingus and analingus on all the women present beginning with my wife.

They either sit on my face or kneel with their asses up in the air for this purpose. After that’s all done, she has me lie down on the floor on my back (on her expensive Persian rug), squats over me and pees in my mouth. She really prides herself how she has trained me never to miss a drop, and she calls me her “walking toilet.” She then invites the other women to use the “facilities” which some then proceed to do, in the same fashion as my wife has just done.

Although my fantasies probably seem very far-out, I want to let you know that, except for my sexual fantasies I’m a very normal person. I am thirty-three years old, have had fantasies such as these for about four of five years. I’m married, with two kids; college grad with a good professional job. Although I haven’t ever shared any of these fantasies with my wife, neither have I ever lived out any of these fantasies, or had sexual relations with anyone in what would be considered an abnormal or unusual way.

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DOUGLAS

I am forty-two years old and married to a twenty-five-year-old woman. It is my second marriage and hers also. I was married to my first wife for eighteen years, and we learned a lot together. We shared our fantasies and even tried a lot of them out. Her main complaint was that after she told me about her fantasy, it would no longer work for her. So I’m sure she never told me all of them. (Not that it matters.) A lot of times I could guess what some of her fantasies were.

My fantasizing started before I knew what sex was all about or what masturbation was. I can remember being excited from seeing drawings in history books depicting cruel acts. For instance, Indians scalping someone, an oldtime sailor being keelhauled, Christians being nailed to a cross. At the time, I didn’t know why they excited me or what to do about it; but I would fantasize myself in the picture.

Sometimes as the victim, sometimes as the perpetrator. Later I would use similar fantasies to masturbate, but usually my thoughts were of making it with a girl or woman I knew.

I devised ways to act out some of my sadistic fantasies, using myself as the victim. Occasionally I could be alone in my grandfather’s garage. I would strip naked and run a rope over a rafter and fasten it around my cock and balls. Then I would wrap a rope or belt around my wrists and pretend they were tied. Then I would pretend I was being tortured and beaten, causing me to pull against the rope around my cock and balls. Sometimes going so far as to fall down so my hips were held off the floor by my cock and balls. These would end by me masturbating to climax with the rope still tied in place.

I remember a couple of times enticing a fellow playmate to play my games with me. There was an old unused barn on our property. I devised a pirate game that we played. My friend was the pirate and I was a captive he was making walk the plank. Naturally I had to be naked to walk the plank. I would tie a rope around my cock and balls and then he would Nancy Friday

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tie my hands behind me with the same rope. He would push and prod me out onto a plank we had set up and then with a play sword, keep stabbing me until I walked off the plank, falling into a pile of straw. The pull of the rope and the sticking of the straw would really get me excited. I don’t remember ever masturbating in front of my friend or with him, but I received sexual pleasure from playing the game.

My teen years were spent in trying to fuck a girl and having fantasies about it. Only occasionally would old torture fantasies pop up. When they did, they were still similar to my earlier ones except usually my torturer was female now. I don’t remember having any fantasy where I was torturing a woman. I was always the victim.

Then about a year or so after my first wife and I were married, I got to thinking about tying her up. I don’t remember any particular fantasy about it, I just wanted to put her in bondage (of course, I did not know it was called that, then). We talked about it, and she agreed. We tried it, liked it, and were into a whole new thing that lasted the remainder of our marriage.

From then on, my fantasies were of me having a slave girl to torture and fuck, or a victim of some kind, always female, to misuse and have sex with. I drew pictures, wrote stories, and finally began taking Polaroid pictures with my wife in bondage. These all helped my fantasies which took place while I was working, driving, or just goofing off.

The fantasies I have these days are more like daydreams and are always about my wife. She is my slave and is sucking me, or I am whipping and fucking her in front of someone.

Most of the time, I do not masturbate with my fantasy but use it to add to my sexual excitement before starting anything with my wife. I don’t use them because of a lack of sexual satisfaction but to enhance our sexual encounter. Nor do I need them to get excited. All my wife has to do is cuddle up to me, and I have an erection. She can get me hard by just looking at me in her own sexy way or by pursing her lips like she was sucking my cock.

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PETER

A couple of times I made up fantasies for my wife as we made love; it seemed to work pretty good. I know that when she performs fellatio she likes me to put my fingers in her rectum and vagina and she becomes very excited. I suspect she is fantasizing about being loved by three men at once.

I and two close friends talk a lot about having a big love-in with our wives. But when we approached the girls on the subject we were met with very cold interest.

I am white, thirty-one, blond hair, blue eyes, five-nine, one hundred forty-five pounds, not ugly. I’m a Leo by sign, but not a dominant male, at least not in reality. I love sports but I’m not usually a winner. I’m a loner and am fairly timid around women. I once called myself a professional soldier, but I sickened of what I saw and did in Vietnam, so I left active duty and entered the reserves. I’m now a federal police officer and go to college part time.

I started masturbating at about fourteen and didn’t have my first real fuck till I was eighteen. I went straight into the army from high school. From the army I went into marriage (girl next door). We now have two children, good sexual relations and I’m dissatisfied with my life. Is this all there is?

I was never a bachelor in the true sense. Never got the chance to chase around and have lots of lovers. I think I got married too soon. Of course my loss is self-imposed, we live in a liberated society, but my wife doesn’t accept it. I really wish I could openly seek sexual relationships with other women, but my wife would never consent. I keep hoping that she will open up and take a lover. As far as I know I’m the only man she has ever fucked. I think that’s a sad way to go through life. It would add lots to her life, our marriage and her womanhood if she did take a lover once in a while. I’m not afraid of losing her. I’ve had four lovers since our marriage and I haven’t left her, so I project that she is also capable of multiple sexual relations.

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My sexual fantasies started in preadolescence. Primarily: I am kidnapped by an older woman who steals my clothes, keeps me tied up and plays nasty games with me. Later I expanded the theme to being paired with a beautiful young girl, tied together and forced to do lots of neat acts. From the beginning of my puberty period till marriage at twenty-two, my fantasies were never very developed. Usually they were simple lovemaking scenes with the girl I was dating.

We got married in 1967 and it took quite a while for us to get used to each other. Neither of us was very experienced with sex. After two years of marriage I had slowly introduced my wife to fellatio, cunnilingus, fucking during her period, and I’m still working on anal sex and groupies. She is more timid than I am and I have to be the leader in all things we do. It’s a disappointment to me. I think I could really dig being dominated once in a while, or at least told what she wants and when she wants it. Our lovemaking is very silent and almost never discussed.

After two years of marriage I began to masturbate again, usually when I’m away from home. With the return to masturbation also came the need to develop fantasies.

My job requires me to be away from home periodically, anything from a couple of days to a couple of months. I really develop a sex urge when I’m gone from home, it’s always great to get home to mama. At army summer camp for two weeks I go out of my mind. I guess it’s being totally cut off from women and living in a barracks full of men. I find that when I’m a long way from home, with a very stiff cock, my fantasies are very vivid, strong and extremely stimulating.

My fantasies almost always deal with kidnapping, bondage, domination, and forced love, but never pain. My fantasies are generally very elaborate and detailed in how the victim is obtained and controlled.

As soon as I get home, or have an orgasm, I lose all interest in them, in fact they even repulse me. The female public is safe from me and my fantasies. I use them as a tool, and while they are very vivid and strong at the time, as soon Men In Love

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as I reach my orgasm they are instantly gone. I try to avoid fantasizing while actually making love. Fantasizing usually causes me to orgasm way too soon. I may use a fantasy to get myself interested, but I immediately try to get rid of it so as to prolong my fucking endurance.

In brief outline here are some of my favorites.

1. I stop to pick up a beautiful young girl hitchhiking by herself late at night. I’m in, uniform and I step from my car, telling her that for my safety I have to search her for weapons. I make her spread-eagle outside the car and then I search her thoroughly, even under her clothes. I then handcuff her. As soon as I have her in the car I blindfold and gag her. I then take my beautiful and helpless victim to my secluded home where I imprison her in my dungeon basement. From here on it’s routine bondage and forced sexual acts, which she always ends up enjoying. After a period of days I always turn my victims loose. Sometimes I elaborate the scene to the captive being fat and ugly. After her capture I force her to diet and exercise. When I release her she is beautiful and sexy.

The next one I have given consideration to acting out with my wife. Sometimes I get the impression she might be receptive to a little domination. So far all I have tried is some mild tying up – it wasn’t much of a turn – on for me but my wife seemed to enjoy it. I think I could really enjoy it if there was more realism ‘involved. But my fear is that it would be much too much for her. That would be leaving the world of fantasy and I don’t think I can allow that to happen.

2. I capture my wife any number of different ways.

Primarily, I come home late at night, sneak into the bedroom and subdue her before she knows what’s happened.

Blindfolded and gagged she would be at my mercy. I would then carry her to the basement and leave her tied to the rafters. Then I take the kids to their cousins for a few days and have the house to myself. The script from here on would be very much like The
Story of O
except that the punishments would be in much milder form. One variation is to strip her Nancy Friday

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and put her in a poncho-like cloak she has, tie her underneath and take her to a motel for some forms of bondage and public exposure.

I derive pleasure from giving my partner pleasure. It’s really wild to manipulate a woman after she gets really turned on. I dislike fakers though. Actually I wouldn’t mind being the victim myself. At least it would be nice to be tied to a bed and sucked to orgasm.

Thank you for the chance to write in: It feels neat and a little sinful.

Dictator psychology is not hard to understand. The aggressive drive to establish authority over another person through sadistic acts is cruel but recognizable. But why would anybody want to be a slave?
Why did I in fact receive
far more fantasies from men that express masochistic desires
than the other, way around?
The ratio was four to one, totally at variance with our cultural edict that men must be tough and independent. One of the people I heard from in preparing this book was a call girl. She described a dozen S&M scenes in which men paid her to sexually abuse and mistreat them.

“More men like being dominated,” she said, “than the average woman would believe.”

Men like Vince (above) say they get as much pleasure in submission as in domination. Even Rod (above), who begins with fantasies in which he is the aggressor, ends with an admission that he wouldn’t mind being the victim. Rod does not give us details about his masochistic dreams; perhaps, like the enlightened Gerard (above), he is too ashamed of desiring submission to spell it out. But he twice mentions that he has such fantasies.

Fear and guilt about going too far, anxiety that what he wants of women is dirty and evil; fatigue with the responsibility of initiating sex – all these seem to go into the construction of Gerald’s fantasy. “Our society says that it’s not okay for a man to be submissive and helpless. We’re Men In Love

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supposed to be tough and domineering.... But I don’t want to and I won’t.” In his fantasy, he no longer has to struggle against his conscience, which tells him it is bad to want sex; he no longer has to risk rejection by being the one who initiates it. He accepts judgment. He is naughty and must submit to the woman’s discipline. But when she spanks him,