Forever Love (24 page)

"You'll have to wear your new shoes for Thanksgiving, I'm sure your Mom'll be green." I say, with a mischievous smirk.

Yes I can just imagine Martha's eyes popping out of her head on seeing Pams hot new heels.

"I'm sure she'll pick fault with them somehow." She sighs.

The sad tone of her voice, as well as the look on her face has me feeling uncomfortable. I'm not really into sharing shit, the way she looks though pulls at my heartstrings. I may not care what the Bitch thinks now, I may not care if she's at the bottom of a cliff or under a train, I remember a time when I was little though, when all I wanted was her affection and attention. I think myself lucky that I grew out of that shit, Pam obviously hasn’t though.

"Who cares what she thinks? Listen, are you happy with your life?" I ask, looking her straight in the eyes, one eyebrow quirked.

"Of course, I love your Father and the boys, and you of course."

"Then what does it matter what she thinks about it?"

"When did you get to be so smart?" She laughs.

"Never, I do know what it's like to have a grade A bitch of a mother though, the best thing you can do is just ignore it or cut it out."   

She looks at me for a few seconds and I feel more than awkward under her gaze, as if she's dragging all my secrets out into the open. I can see where her son gets it from now. I've never mentioned the Bitch to Pam, never really discussed her at all with anyone in Franklin apart from Noah. My Dad knows my feelings, if he tries to push his luck in forcing her on me, I remind him. I know now with more certainty than ever, she has no part in my life here, not at all. Pam's next words quickly jar me out of my thoughts.

"Noahs very lucky to have you." SHIT!

"W-what? I don’t know what you mean." I'm a stuttering, spluttering mess, I know.

She raises her eyebrows smirk.

"How did you know?" My voice is small and there's ringing in my ears.

This is it. She's gonna tell my Dad, he'll probably send me back to live with the Bitch, me and Noah will end and my life right alongside it. I can feel my chest tightening and my heart beating out of my chest, I'm sure I'm as pale as ever.

"Oh sweetie, don't worry." Pam grabs my hand, giving it a slight squeeze, I'm sure in a bid to comfort and calm me down.

I nod my head, breathing deeply and grabbing the tumbler of water on the table next to me before gulping it down, water escaping down my chin.

"Are you gonna tell my Dad?" What the hell am I saying, of course she is, he's her husband."

"No, but you are, after Thanksgiving."

"He won't allow it though, he'll try and split us up, he won't understand." The recent calmness is quickly dissipating, sweat slicking my forehead at the thought of what my Dad'll say when he finds out I'm with my step brother.

"Let me deal with Phil, you and Noah have to tell him though before he finds out from someone else."

"When did you find out?"

"Savannah, dinner with Ada and Trina."

"But that was-"

"Weeks ago, I know. I wasn’t sure at first, it all clicked into place when Noah went to check on you at dinner, the concern on his face, he was genuinely worried. After watching you both more closely, I could've kicked myself for not noticing before. You spend practically all your time together, I've noticed more than once how Noah looks at you but I just thought it was a little crush. After watching you the past few weeks though, the way you look at  , the way you smile at each other, the way my sons so settled and happy. He hasn’t been like that since his Father was alive, it’s a joy to watch."

I blink away the wetness that I gathering in my eyes, I'm touched as well as a little relieved. It's like the breath that I didn’t even realize I've been holding in for the past few months has just been released.

"Are you mad?" I ask, not so much for me but for Noah's sake since I'm sure it would be him getting the earful.

"No, I was a little shocked at first before I saw how much you mean to one another. I wish you both would have felt like you could have come to me but I understand why you couldn’t. I don’t see a problem with it though, you're both practically adults, you aren't related and you really only just met. As long as you are both serious about each other since this may ruffle a few feathers, I don’t see a problem. The sneaking around will have to stop of course and a few ground rules will have to be set but I don’t see why we can't all work with this development."

"I love him." I don’t know what possesses me to say it, I just feel like she needs to hear it though.

"Oh honey, I never doubted you did, you can see it in your face, both of your faces. Personally I think you both have very good taste."

I stand up from my seat, scraping my chair back which causes the legs to squeak against the floor, causing other diners to stop with their meals and look. I walk over to Pam and wrap my arms around her shoulders, unbelievably grateful for her understanding and support.

"Thank you."

"Sweetie I just want you both to be happy and I know your Dad wants the same thing too."

The fear that has stayed in the background for the last few months whenever I think of me and Noah slowly dissipates. I'd be lying if I said that I haven't been worried about the future for us, I know that it's impossible to keep this secret forever. A small part of me was kinda hoping to just send them a text when I've left for college however silly that might sound. I just hope Pam's right, something's telling me World War three is about to break out in the Travers/Preston household.

Chapter 25

Noah

Everytime I look at Brady it feels like the guilt is gnawing at me from the inside. This is completely my fucking fault but I too much of an asshole to just come clean. I know that Cindy and Brady's problems aren't completely my fault, I know that they have their own issues that are separate to me, none of that matters though,this whole situation, them breaking up, it's my fault. Just a few more days and then I'll come clean, that’s what I keep telling myself.

"Dude, will you please stop throwing that damn fucking ball in the air? Shits sending me dizzy." I'm serious, I've been watching that ball go up and down, up and down for the past half hour.

"I'm thinking, it helps me think."

"Why the hell am I here Brady?"

"I don’t think she's gonna take me back."

"Would living together be that bad?" I ask.

"No, we had plans though, you know, me and you." This so isn't helping my guilt. "We're gonna party, have the full college experience, that’s the plan."

I know that I'm making things worse for myself by having this conversation and still not telling him.

"Have you spoke to her?"

"Through text yeah, she's avoiding me at school like I've got some fucking disease, whenever I bring up about us sorting stuff out she just says that she needs time to get her head together, says that she's not sure if I'm mature enough to have a committed relationship and she doesn’t wanna waste anymore of her time. I mean, what the fuck? Really?" The face he pulls, as if he smelt something foul, has me rolling my eyes.

Cindy isn't far wrong, Brady is pretty immature and before they got together,he was a major player in this town. I know how much he loves her though, despite him acting like a jackass ninety nine percent of the time.

"Show her then." I don’t know what possesses me to say it, I've been trying to keep advice and my opinion out of it since I'm already enough to blame for this shit, I don’t need Brady taking some of my advice and fucking things even more.

"Show her what?"

"That your not immature, that you love her. Prove her wrong. Sitting here sulking, throwing that fucking ball in the air, which by the way I'm gonna stick a pin or some shit in it if you carry on throwing it, isn't helping." I shrug.

Knowing how happy I am with Liv just makes this shit worse. Here I am, happy as fucking Larry, got my girl and sailing through life as far as I'm concerned and my friend, my boy, he's falling apart over something I could have prevented if I'd have just grown some balls and fessed up.

"Lets get off me, how're you and blondie doing?" Brady wiggles his eyebrows up and down and I don’t know whether to laugh or punch him.

How am I supposed to tell him how happy we are? How am I supposed to say that shes my fucking world when hes in his own personal hell with his girl?

"We're good." My tones clipped, I really don’t wanna discuss this, id feel like I was rubbing it in his face.

"Hey don’t hold out on me man, just cause me and Cindy are on the outs."

"I'm not, we're good, real good."

"I'm happy for you bro, I don’t think I've ever seen two people so gone over each other. What you gonna do when you go to college?"

Argggghhh he just had to fucking bring it up again. Half of me doesn’t wanna talk cause of the whole situation I got going on with Brady, the other half is all nervous and shit cause I still haven't spoken to Liv about what she's doing after High School. She mentioned once that she plans on going with Trina but she never mentioned where and I didn’t ask cause, well, her hand was down my boxers. Say no more!

"I dunno, we haven't really talked about it."

"Piece of advice, talk about it. You don’t wanna end up in the same situation as me and Cindy trust me."

I look at my friend for a few seconds, taking in what he's just said. He's right, I need to talk to Liv. It doesn’t escape my notice that I'm avoiding talking to Brady about college like the plague but I'm willing to open what could be a whole lot bigger can of worms with Liv, just to avoid anything going wrong between us. The thing is that although Brady is my best friend, he's basically like a brother to me, Liv's my whole heart. She own me body, mind and soul. When I said I wasn’t ever letting her go, I meant that shit, shes my whole fucking world.

I resolve to talk to her about it as soon as we're alone just to get it out of the way. I just hope to fucking God that she doesn’t tell me she's moving some far off place since I could very well be following her there. We've been so good since Atlanta, unbelievably so and I don’t want nothing to ruin it.

***

As soon as Liv and my Mom walk through the door, I let out the breath that I seem to have been holding inside ever since coming home for dinner and finding them not here. Phil was so blasé about it while I was slowly losing my shit. It was half seven, where the fuck have they been? Maybe I'm a little on edge because I know the conversation I've gotta have with Liv later on about college but seriously, not even a fucking phone call? They could've been in an accident or Liv could've been sick. It's not lost on me that all of the potential catastrophes that went through my head involved Liv and not my Mom, so not only am I an obsessive boyfriend but I'm also a pretty shit son aswell.

"Where the hell have you been?" Yes I know I look like a damn woman with my feet planted apart and my hands on my hips and from the looks my Mom and Liv are giving me, they’ve noticed it too.

A few moments pass with them just staring at me before they burst out laughing, right in my fucking face.

"Did you have a nice day girls?" Phil asks, walking in smiling, though I notice that smile quickly gets wiped off his face when he looks down to the bags they're holding. He squeezes his eyes shut and put his fingers to his head as if he's getting a headache. "Did you bankrupt me?"

Again nothing but laughter, seriously what is this? If I didn’t know any better id say they’ve united against us. I know full well that my Mom's been complaining for years about always being outnumbered though I don’t remember a time that she didn’t get her own way, especially when it comes to movie night.

"Oh honey, this was my treat. Well, the shoes were, the rest was you."

"Why me?" He looks to the ceiling, his hands in the air.

"I always knew you were tight Dad but no need to have a mental break." Liv says through the snorts of laughter.

Phil just rolls his eyes , I never noticed it before but I think I understand where Liv got that habit from.

"So, did you have a good day?" I'm rocking from foot to foot, itching to get to my girl and kiss the fuck outta her after spending that last few hours worrying shitless however  and over the top it might've been of me.

"Yes sweetie, we had a lovely day, didn’t we Liv?" My Mom brushes her hand across my head like she did when I was a kid and she knew something I didn’t.

"We sure did."

I shoot a wink at my girl, feeling over the fucking moon at how happy she looks. Her smile's a mile wide, all pearly white teeth showing, her eyes twinkle and well, she's gorgeous always. I like the fact she gets on with my Mom as well, not just because she's my Mom but because I think Liv needs a mature female influence in her life. I also know my Mom loves Liv to pieces, not only because she's now got back up and a shopping buddy but because of the kinda person Liv is on the inside.

"Did you have a nice time at Brady's sweetie? Is he still coming for Thanksgiving?"

"Yes Mom." I nod like a fucking five year old.

"It's such a shame about him and Cindy. Oh I do hope they can work it out, Cindy's such a lovely young lady and Brady's an angel." Only my Mother would describe Brady as an angel. Come to think of it, I think she's the only person to refer to him as one of those in his entire damn life.

I notice Livs eyes role and smirk at the action knowing she's thinking the exact same thing as I am, my Mom definitely has blinkers on concerning Brady. Either that or the guys just a really good actor.

"I'm gonna go put my stuff away. Thanks again Pam, for everything." The way Liv says that  last bit has me frowning. I know my Mom bought her some stuff but the tone of her voice tells me she's not just talking about that, the wink my Mom gives her in reply definitely has my suspicions rising.

"What did you do today?" I ask my Mom, trying to keep my eyes off Livs swaying ass that’s heading up the stairs.

"Just shopping honey, we had such fun."

I hum while nodding my head before heading up the stairs. If I didn’t know any better Id swear I hear my Mom snickering behind me, this is just too fucking weird. Id like to think I know the women in my life well enough to know when they're up to something.

Walking down the hallway, I stop just outside Livs room, her door open just a crack so I can see her inside but she can't see me.

"You are the most beautiful, prettiest things in the whole wide world. I think I might buy a display case just to put you in so you stay perfect forever." What the fuck?! Who the hell is she talking to?

I can see her sitting on the bed but I can't see if she's holding her phone to her ear or if there's someone in there with her. I don’t hear a reply and gently push the door open, startling Liv who seems to be talking to.......some shoes?

"Are you talking to the shoes?" A blush creeps up her face which gives me all the answer I need. "Are they special shoes or some shit cause you sounded like you really fucking loved them?"

"Noah these are Louboutins. L-O-U-B-O-U-T-I-N-S." She scowls.

"I really needed to know how its spelt babe." I roll my eyes. "So what're you and my Mom up to?"

"Nothing, we just had a really good heart to heart that’s all."

"Mmmmmm, ok, cut the shit. What happened?"

Liv looks all around the room as if looking for an exit to escape through.

"Liv." The one word is a warning, she better start talking.

"Your Mom knows about us."

The second those words leave her mouth I get two very strong urges. One is to rejoice in the fact that there'll be no more sneaking around, the other is get our shit packed up and head for the border.

"Noah, Noah, are you ok? You need to sit down?"

"You seem very calm about all this." Its fucking amazing, shes usually the one losing her shit but shes sitting there cool as a cucumber.

"She's happy Noah." The smile that graces my girls face has me mirroring it with one of my own.

I raise my eyebrows, wondering if this is all some big set up and in a few seconds Livs gonna come out with a "GOTCHA!"

"This is fucking weird." I shake my head at the situation. "Does your Dad-"

"NO!"

If my Mom is really happy about this and supportive, I don’t hold the same hope for Phil. Hes really gonna lose his shit when he finds out and I'm quite shocked that my Mom hasn’t told him already.

"We are kinda on a timer now though. We have until after Thanksgiving, your Mom thinks it'd be better coming from us."

I groan, there are too many fucking secrets inside of me that have to come out after Thanksgiving. From the looks of things, its gonna be a warzone in this town after the holiday. I feel a hand on my shoulder and look towards my girl, who strangely seems to be completely calm, that helps me a lot. If she was panicking about this, id definitely be losing it.

"It's gonna be ok baby." She leans her head on me before standing on her tiptoes and planting a soft kiss on my lips, the taste of her cherry lip gloss making me growl into her mouth.

She lets out a small squeal when I dig my fingers into her hips and pull her into me, I've missed her like crazy today and the feel of her lips against mine is like water to a man in the desert.

"I gotta say, I like this whole role reversal thing that’s happening. It sure does feel good not to be the one freaking out for once."

I don’t wanna tell her that I have a bad feeling, I dunno what it is but I feel it right in my gut and its making me shit myself. Something just tells me we shouldn’t be celebrating that we're about to go public just yet.

***

Theres no better fucking feeling that waking up with the weight of Livs body lying over mine. I've become used to waking up before her over the past few months, ever since we started sleeping together. I don’t think id be able to sleep without feeling her body heat either next to me, over me or under me. The few times I've tried I've ended up sneaking into room in the middle of the night. I take these quiet few moments I have every morning just look at her face free of makeup, though she doesn’t wear much to begin with, and free of stress though I'm seeing less and less of it in her face and expressions lately. Her full pouty lips look all kinds of kissable, a pale pink that looks as if it could have come out of a tube. Her skin is flawless, not a blemish to it. Everything about her is absolutely perfect from her perfectly shaped eyebrows to her ridiculously long eyelashes to the pinkness of her cheeks. I reach over to the table at the side of the bed, careful not to wake her because as much as I love her, she's like a blonde Satan in the mornings before her coffee fix.

"Why are you staring at me?" She asks sleepily, her voice husky and low, one eye open, the other squinted shut.