Forever, Jack (12 page)

“You don’t talk much about growing up.”

I glance at him. Devon has been a good friend. I don’t know why I haven’t told him until now how things ended with Audrey. But I’m definitely not ready to talk about England.

Getting up, I prowl to the glass wall overlooking the ocean. The low sun has cast an amber filter over the view. A few people are letting their dogs frolic in the surf. It doesn’t look like there are any
photogs
with high-powered lenses anywhere, but I didn’t notice one when I was here last time either.

“I thought … I thought that it would be a big ‘eff you’ to Audrey. And that it would help Keri Ann get over me, better that she hates me, right? But mostly I wasn’t
thinking
at all. I avoided thinking at all costs. I just threw myself into being on that set and getting involved in the movie and drowning my sorrows when the cameras stopped rolling.” I drop my forehead against the glass. “Being back in England does that to me.”

“Did you explain to Keri Ann the stuff about Peak, about why you didn’t come back here in December?”

“I tried, I wanted to.”

“But you didn’t because …?”

“Shit. Because I saw her … and because she makes me feel like I don’t deserve her, which I don’t, even though I crave her with every single fucking ounce of me. And I should have handled the situation last night better, but she floors me. I wish I had a script for how to be with her, but I don’t. And I’d basically be saying I chose a movie contract over her. That I let myself be manipulated rather than fighting for her.”

“Well, I can’t say I expect her to look past the last five months, but maybe if you can tell her the
why’s
she can decide whether to trust you again. And Jack, you weren’t choosing a movie contract over her, you were
protecting
her from what Audrey had planned. And maybe she should know that. I would’ve done the same thing.”

“It won’t make a difference. Anyway, she’s with someone else now.”

“At least you’ll have tried. And you know what? You can’t change who you are. If you guys are going to have any kind of future, then she will need to get used to the reality of your life. It’s not like you can hide from it. So why don’t you use it to get her back?
Show
her what life you could have together. Accept who you are and win her back.”

God, I’m losing sleep trying
not
to have thoughts about what we could have together. It’s a full time job keeping them out of my head lest they make me fucking crazy.

“I promised her I’d stay away.”

Devon shakes his head. “Why the hell would you promise something like that?”

“She said if I meant what I said about being in love with her, I would respect her wishes and stay away.”

“So you didn’t actually promise her.”

“No, but I did mean it when I said I was in love with her.”

In. Love.

What a nightmare.

I flash back to her fixing her tire yesterday on the side of the road, giving off sparks with her attitude. I wanted this girl. Like air. All the fucking way.

“Jack, if you really want her, you’re going to have to fight dirty. You’re Jack Eversea, talented actor and now I hear
screen-writer
and producer. For Christ’s sake, you have a face and body that make girls swoon—”

“Ah, Dev,” I say turning back to him, uncomfortable with his assessment, and trying to make light of it. “I’m flattered.”

“Shut up,
Jack
-ass.”

I smirk.

“You just have to make yourself attractive to
her
. We’ll start with her basic needs, and you’ll more than satisfy every one of them so she can’t turn you down. Did I ever tell you I was a psychology major for a while?”

“God, no wonder I just poured my heart out lying on your couch.”

“Yeah, well, it comes in handy, I can tell you. Especially when my pathetic friends become too miserable to help themselves. But right now
I’m
experiencing one of the first basic needs—I’m starving. What say we go get something to eat and start operation
Make Jack Happy Again
right away? Let’s hope she’s working tonight.”

That alone was going to piss her off, since she’d asked me to leave her be. But I’m going to have to trust Devon because I have no idea what else to do. I get up to head to the shower. “I hope you know what you’re doing. What’s the other basic need?”

Devon smiles and drains the rest of his beer, placing the bottle carefully down on the glass table. “Sex.”

“That won’t work on her.”

“Dude, you don’t think reminding her of the chemistry you two so clearly have will at least make it easier to get past her defenses and actually try and fix this?”

I pause at the foot of the stairs, running a hand through my hair. “Shit, I have no idea. She’s as likely to hate me more for trying.”

And that was the truth.

In all of my imaginings about what would happen if Jack Eversea ever lowered himself to set foot back into my life, telling me he was in love with me had never featured. Okay, wait. Imaginings, yes.
Realistic
scenarios, no freaking way.

And using his feelings against him? Telling him to walk away from me if he meant them? No again.

His eyes had flickered as I delivered my final words, like he wanted to close them against me but willed them open. His breath rushed out of him before he clenched his jaw. Like I’d hit him.

I knew it was a low blow. I was making sure he had no recourse. To
not
walk away would be saying he hadn’t meant it. And that was what I wanted, wasn’t it?

After Jack had looked at me in stunned silence and walked out of the house without another word, I marched upstairs and flung myself on my bed. I lay there waiting for dawn. Glancing at the clock now and again, it seemed to take like four hours for the clock to inch forward thirty-two minutes.

Of course, I’d had fantasies that Jack Eversea loved me, couldn’t live without me, yada, yada, yada. I think at one point it involved him admitting it to forty million television viewers during an acceptance speech at the
Oscars
.
Seriously.
I was only human.
I mean, the entire time he was here in Butler Cove felt like a dream. A fantasy. Let’s face it, a delusion.

But never when I considered the
reality
of him coming back, if he ever would, did I expect him to tell me he was in love with me.
Me
. I huffed into the small pocket of heated space that was under the pillow then flung myself onto my back to get some more air.

I replayed every moment back in my head. Jack wanting to talk to me, looking so tense and … nervous as he spoke of me dating Colt. A notion I’d taken a perverse delight in not denying. I guess he
was
nervous, although I’d never seen him that way before. He almost seemed … jealous. Then the way he’d suddenly launched himself at me when I mistakenly admitted I wasn’t over him … like I’d given him the permission he’d been waiting for.

Damn, and I was just like some pilot light that had been left on for seven months, just waiting to be dialed up to full flame. Even now a dull ache thudded low in my belly. Why did he have to be the only one who could do that to me? It wasn’t fair.

None of it made sense. If he really felt that strongly about me, why hadn’t he contacted me for so long? I hadn’t even given him a chance to explain that. I was too busy being shocked at his declaration and telling him to leave me alone. And besides, what could he say that would justify his actions? I would stand by my decision. I had to. I couldn’t keep going through this. I had my own life to lead, and I wasn’t going to get dragged off course.

Trying to park my unwieldy pickup on Broughton Street in downtown Savannah was a nerve-wracking experience, both for me and the homeless guy sitting under the eaves of the vacant storefront next to me. I normally considered myself pretty adept at handling my truck, but my mind was scattered and tired today.

I finally got the truck situated snugly alongside the curve without incident and climbed out, not bothering to lock up behind me. If someone needed something out of my truck that badly, I’d just as soon not have to pay to get a window fixed.

Heading up the street past the Trustees Theatre with its large old school marquis, I did a double take.

The Princess Bride, One Night Only.

I seriously did not need to start seeing signs pointing to Jack everywhere I went, but there it was in black and white. Shaking my head to dislodge memories of the ridiculous flirting we’d done when we first met, one–upping each other with lines from the movie, I crossed the street.

I’d deliberately parked far away from Colt’s office on Bull Street where he worked with a team handling the private banking needs of the high net worth families of Savannah and surrounding areas. I needed time to walk, clear my head and get my game face on. I could also hit Blick, the art supply store, before heading back and not have to lug stuff around town. After lunch with Colt, I also needed to shop for a dress.

The sun shone valiantly through the canopy of live oaks in historic Johnson Square outside Colt’s office, creating a crisscross of shadows. I passed the fountain, putting flight to a kit of scrounging pigeons, and found a bench dappled in sunlight where I could text and wait for Colt.

Now that I’d resolutely put the idea of any kind of future with Jack out of commission, an idea that made my chest ache, I needed to address the situation with Colt one way or another. He’d intimated he wanted to be my date for my art opening at the Westin, and I’d been putting him off. I wished there were more time before the event so I could mourn and come to grips with everything that had just happened with Jack. Then at least, I could give Colt a fair chance. But to be honest, I wanted to go back to being on my own.

I looked up in time to see the tall, well-defined frame of Colt striding across the street in a dark suit, accompanied by an elegant and exotic creature in impossibly high red heels and a grey pencil-skirt and fitted jacket trotting as fast as possible next to him. Her dark hair was swept into an elegant chignon.
Yikes
. I couldn’t remove my eyes from her, and I felt instantly dowdy, plain, and unkempt. And really,
really
short.

“Hi, Sweetheart.” Colt leaned down, and wafting expensive cologne onto me, kissed my cheek. “This is Karina Knowles, she works with me. Karina, this … is Keri Ann Butler.”

Karina’s exotic face with its flawless skin and almond shaped eyes immediately broke into a smile of beautiful teeth as she stretched out a soft hand to shake mine.

“Wow, you’re really stunning,” I said,
out loud
, and immediately felt my face flush warm.

Karina tilted her head and laughed delightedly. “Colton. You were right, she’s delightful.” Her British accent took me by surprise. “Nice to meet you Keri Ann, I’ve heard lots of great things about you. And thank you.”

“You’re British?” I blurted.

“Mmmm, well I was born
here
, grew up there, British father, Indonesian mother, time in London, time in Kuala Lumpur, and now Savannah, Georgia. The quick history.”