Forever Altered (27 page)

Words
have escaped me as I’m left contemplating the things he just said.  None
of it makes any sense.  Despite what everyone was telling me, I truly
believed I meant nothing to him.  That I was disposable just as every
other girl in his life had been, even after the night we spent together at his
house.  Why is he telling me all of this now?  What’s changed? 
Part of me doesn’t want to believe him, but the part of me that is head over
heels in love with him is trying frantically to break down the cement wall
which has been built around my heart.  What happens the next time
something upsets him and he decides to do this again?  I cannot let that
happen.

“Will
you please say something?” he asks frantically.

I
gather every ounce of courage in me to deliver my feelings to him.  “Do
you really want to know what it is that I need?” I ask trying to hold back the
tears that have been flowing.  I see him inhale deeply and slowly let it
out as he tries to steady himself.  He only nods once.  “What I
need,” I stop because I can feel myself starting to break down and cry. 
He looks down then back up at me.  He is trying to hold back his own tears
as he waits to hear what I have to say.  “What I need, Rocco, is for you
to understand that you have to trust me enough to come to me when something is
going on.  I need you to promise me that nothing, and I seriously mean
nothing, will ever come between us again.  I need you to take care of my
heart because it belongs to you and only you.  I need you to love me every
day for the rest of my life because it’s entirely too hard to live without
you.  I need you to know I am so in love with you.  But what I need
from you the most right now is for you to kiss me like you meant everything you
just told me.” 

Despite
how shocked he appears over the things I laid out for him, Rocco’s lips crash
into mine before I can say another word.  He kisses me like he has never
kissed me before.  It’s desperate, frantic, and at the same time amazing,
romantic, and perfect.  As he holds me, I can feel the splintered pieces
of my broken heart mending.  The pieces are not being put back the same
way they were originally, but I’m fine with that.  They are stronger,
tougher than ever before.  My heart has been forever altered, made just
for him.

Rocco
leans his head away only slightly, so he can look in my eyes.  The intense
kiss leaves the both of us a little breathless.  He brings his hand up to
my cheek to wipe away the last of my tears then runs his thumb along my lower
lip as it trembles. 

“I
need you to be mine,” I whisper.

“Sunshine,
I’ve been yours since the moment you walked into my life and I didn’t even know
it,” he whispers back.  “I’ll always be yours.”

Rocco

What
the hell was I thinking when I let Alyssa go in the first place?  The
phone call from Vicki and the thought of something happening to Sunshine really
screwed with my head.  My reaction was completely irrational and it almost
cost me the only girl I have ever loved.  The only girl I will ever
love.  If she didn’t take me back after what happened, it would have been
my own fault and I would have been spending the rest of my life miserable and
alone.  Alyssa Adler completes me.  I’m not sure who came up with that
saying, but damn it is so true.  She is the reason I want to get out of
bed in the morning, unless of course, we spent the night together.  If
that’s the case, getting out of bed is definitely not something I want to
do.  She makes me feel excited for what the future will bring for the two
of us.  She just makes me feel. 

Showing
up at the reception last week was a huge risk to take.  The only reason I
even attempted it was because Carla insisted Alyssa wasn’t over me the way I
thought she was.  I missed the ceremony at the church because it took all
morning for me to even decide if I was going to go through with it or
not.  When I got to the reception, watching her walk in when they
announced the wedding party holding onto her ex-boyfriend’s arm was rough. 
The sadness had returned in her eyes from before.  While I don’t ever want
her to be anything other than happy, it gave me hope.  Maybe Carla was
right.  Then there was the dance.  It lasted only about a minute
before Alyssa was pushing him away and looking very pissed off.  I started
to go to her, but some other guy stepped in, almost as if he was waiting for
something to happen.  Relief washed over her, so I was thankful to
whomever he was as long as he knew he couldn’t have her.  He walked away
holding hands with another girl which made me relax.

Her
reaction to whatever Jeff said was about as much as I could handle before I
lost it.  When her friend finally walked away to dance with her father
leaving Alyssa standing alone, it was then or never.  The closer I got to
her, the more erratic my heart became and breathing was quite difficult. 
As soon as I was right behind her, my hand instinctively reached out to touch
her.  The feel of her skin underneath my fingers combined with the smell
of her hair sent shockwaves through me.  She never flinched.  It was
almost as though she knew it was me touching her.  There was no way she
could have seen me.  Regardless, she needed to know she was mine and
letting her go wasn’t an option for me.

Pure
terror raced through me when Alyssa told me to leave.  She said it without
the tiniest bit of hesitation.  Her voice was emotionless and
unyielding.  Did I screw things up so royally that she wouldn’t want to
forgive me?  Then she turned around.  Her eyes will always give her
away.  Well, to anyone who knows her as well as I do.  Somewhere
inside of her, she still had feelings for me and that was all I needed to
continue to fight for her.  It was not easy at all to get her to even look
at me.  Watching her try to find an excuse to get away from me was
excruciating.       

Once
I figured out she had no idea I still loved her, it was easier to explain
everything.  I bared my heart and soul as if I was fighting for my own
life.  Then she started talking and I stood there waiting to hear her tell
me this was the end of us.         It
wasn’t until she asked me to kiss her that I truly believed what she was
telling me.  Alyssa needed me as much as I needed her.  There was no
way in hell we would ever be apart again.  How she could still love me
after what I put her through was beyond me.  I am clearly the luckiest son
of a bitch ever.  Who knew?

We
went back into the reception and she guided me through the tables of
guests.  Alyssa didn’t stop until she came to one table in particular. 
There were four people about our age and a couple a little older sitting
there.  The guy looked up as soon as Alyssa started to talk. 

“Dad. 
Jill.  There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” she announced looking up at
me adoringly with those gorgeous green eyes and still clutching my hand. 
I didn’t know her dad and stepmother were going to be there, but it made sense
considering she was close with the family.  “This is Rocco.  These
are my parents.  Greg and Jill Adler.”

They
both stood up and came over to me.  Her dad shook my hand.  “Nice to
meet you, Rocco,” he said.

Jill
hugged me and said, “Alyssa has told us so much about you.”  I supposed
she didn’t tell them everything if they were being nice to me. 

We
chatted for a few minutes before we sat down and Alyssa introduced me to the
other people at the table.  They were friends of Alyssa’s from high
school.  Everyone was very welcoming and pretty cool to hang out
with.  Her friends were telling me about things Alyssa had done in the
past and she was close to disowning them all.  She was absolutely adorable
trying to threaten them to shut up.  When dinner was over, she took me to
meet Lori and Dan.  I was not expecting Lori to be as sweet as she was to
me, since I was the guy replacing her brother. 

“That’s
enough meeting people for now.  I want you all to myself.  Come dance
with me,” she said dragging me to the middle of the room. 

“Sunshine,
I’ll go anywhere you want me to go,” I told her as if she didn’t already know.

For
the next few hours, Alyssa kept us busy between dancing and taking breaks to
sit with her dad.  The two of them were very close, that much was
obvious.  They laughed and carried on like they were old friends rather
than father and daughter.  Jill invited me to stay at their house the
following night.  I’m sure she knew I would be staying at the hotel with
Alyssa.  They left before the wedding was actually over.  Her dad
pulled me aside just before he walked out.

“Rocco,
I wanted to ask you to take care of my little girl,” he started to say. 
“She’s had enough shit happen to her in the last year, not to mention her
lifetime with her mom walking out on her.  She means the world to me and I
cannot stand to see her upset ever again.”

I’m
not sure if he is talking about what happened because of Jeff or between the
two of us.  “She’s
my everything
, now.”  I
glanced over at her standing with Jill watching us.  “There’s no way I’ll
let anything happen to her,” I said with complete certainty.  He just
nodded at me and shook my hand in agreement.

“What
were you and my dad talking about?” Alyssa asked when I drew her in close as we
danced.  Thankfully, a slow song had come on giving me a reason to be
touching her.

“I
think he threatened me,” I replied jokingly.

“My
dad would never do that,” she said stunned. 

I
chuckled at the look she was giving me.  “He asked me to look after
you.  Make sure you stay out of trouble.  That sort of thing.”

“Now
that sounds more like my dad,” she responded with a smile on her face. 
“So, would I be getting in trouble if I asked you to take me upstairs to my
room?”

My
body paused at her unexpected question.  Was this some kind of
trick?  “What did you just say?” I asked for conformation. 

It
was her turn to chuckle at whatever look was on my face.  “I asked my
boyfriend to take me to the hotel room that is waiting for me.”

“But
the wedding isn’t over,” I told her looking around at all of the people still
in the room.  “Don’t you have some kind of obligation to your friend to
stay until the end since you are part of the wedding?” 

“I
think,” Alyssa said sliding her hands down the front of my chest.  When
she remembered she was trying to say something, she continued.  “I think I
have more than fulfilled my obligation to my friend
.
 Let’s not
forget how she forced me to walk with, talk to, and get my picture taken with
my ex-boyfriend more times today then I ever wanted to again in my
lifetime.  Now, Mr. Matthews, would you please escort me back to my room?”

“Yes,
ma’am,” I agreed earning me a beautiful smile once again.

“I
just have to grab my stuff,” she told me leading the way to the room just
outside the reception area.  I took the two bags from her and we
left.  When we started for the exit that led to the hotel, someone called
Alyssa’s name. 

“Hey
Lyss
!  You aren’t leaving yet, are you? 
The party isn’t over,” Jeff could barely get the words out, he was so
drunk.  “Later, a bunch of us are hitting the bar next door.  You
should come along.  I guess you can even bring your friend here.”

She
didn’t even respond to him.  She just tugged on my hand she was holding
onto and said, “Let’s go.”

“Hey. 
Don’t ignore me when I’m talking to you!” Jeff shouted at her.  Most of
the people at the party noticed what was going on. 

No
way was he going to pull this shit when I was around.  “Back off!”  I
was trying not to yell in his face as I filled the space between him and
Alyssa.  He took a step back, but didn’t stop.

“Who
the fuck do you think you are, anyway?  Aren’t you just her lab partner or
some shit like that?  You don’t know anything about Alyssa.  You have
no idea how to make her happy.”

“Walk
away, Jeff.  I don’t want to hurt you, but it won’t take much to convince
me otherwise,” I advised the jerk who was slowly making me lose my patience.

“Rocco,
let’s just go,” Alyssa said suddenly beside me instead of behind me where I
wanted her.  Why was she so damn stubborn?

“No,
Lyss
.  Please, don’t go anywhere with him. 
Come with me,” he begged her.

She
looked him dead in the eye and said, “Goodbye, Jeff.”

“No,”
he told her.  I have no idea what he had intended on doing, but he went at
her and that was it for me.  Before I could stop myself, my fist hit him
right in the jaw.  He stumbled backward right into a guy who was just
coming through the crowd of people who walked over to see what was going
on.  It ended up being the dude who danced with Alyssa earlier in the
night.  Jeff pushed off of him and came back at me trying to swing his
arm.  His friend grabbed him from behind.     

“I
leave you alone for two
friggin
minutes to take a
piss and you run right over to get your ass kicked,” he said to Jeff trying to
hold him up.  “Amazing.”

“He’s
trying to leave with my girlfriend.  You think I’m just going to let him?”
Jeff mumbled holding his jaw.  I was about to correct him when someone
else did it for me.

“She’s
not your girlfriend anymore, Jackass.  You lost that privilege when you
screwed a complete stranger.  You threw away everything you had for five
seconds of meaningless sex and you hurt one of my oldest friends.  Now get
your ass up and get the hell out of my face,” Lori hollered at her
brother.  His friend gave Alyssa a small nod before helping Jeff walk
away.   

Dan
came rushing up to her side, “Babe?  You okay?”  She shot him a look
of complete aggravation then she turned to me.

“Lori,
I am so sorry.  I didn’t mean to hit him here.  He came at Alyssa and
I had to do something,” I tried to explain.

“You
don’t need to explain yourself for protecting her, Rocco.  Besides, my
brother was being a jerk and he had it coming,” she said. 

“Even
so, it shouldn’t have happened here.  I’m sorry,” I offered again. 

“Apology
accepted, then,” she told me.  “
Lyss
, I’m sorry
he didn’t listen.  My parents are going to freak out when they hear
this.  They just walked a few people out.  Are you okay?” she
asked. 

“I’m
fine,” she answered.  “I’m definitely done for the night, though.” 
Alyssa walked over to her friend and gave her a hug.  “Congratulations,
again.  I am so happy for you both.  Have a good time on your
honeymoon and we’ll talk when you get back.”

“Thank
you so much, for everything.  It really means so much to me that you were
here today,” Lori told her.  “Take care of her for us,” she directed at
me. 

“Will
do,” I assured her.  With that, I took my girl by the hand and got her the
hell out of there. 

Once
we cleared the room, Alyssa stopped and inspected my hand.  “Are you
alright?  Does it hurt?”

“Sunshine,
I’ve punched harder heads than that before,” I teased to get her to
relax.  I slipped my hand out of hers and used it to lift her chin, so she
was looking at my face instead of my hand.  “Are you okay?”  I tried
to read the expression on her face rather than listen to what she was
saying.  She tended to keep shit from me.

She
sighed.  “I’m fine.  Where’s your stuff?  In your car? 
Should we go out and get it?”

“It’s
freezing outside and you aren’t exactly dressed for it.  Think I can leave
you here for a few minutes without you getting in trouble?” I asked doubtfully.

She
frowned.  “You know I don’t go looking for trouble, right?  It just
seems to find me wherever I go.”   

“Yeah,
I know,” I said shaking my head.  “Stay here and don’t look at
anyone.  I’ll be right back.”