Forbidden Forever (9 page)

Kaleb is going to stay
at his friend Dylan's because they are heading out early to surf. I
can't wait until the day I can tell them the truth and again the day
they forgive me. Michael prefers me to be gone, so my day is pretty
much free to do with as I please. Saturday morning I get up early and
clean the house. The only thing, other than how grossly fat I am,
that Michael hates is for the house to be dirty. His idea of dirty is
looking under every piece of furniture to see a piece of lint out of
place. A year ago while Callie and Kaleb was away on a trip to
Washington D.C., he went through the house, picking up furniture and
lifting blinds to see if things weren't clean enough. Upon finding
that I didn't clean the base boards in the bathroom, he went into a
terrible screaming fit about how lazy and disgusting I was for
letting the house get so bad. Proceeding to tell me that he was done
making excuses for me being so nasty and how his friends can look at
my appearance and know that I am a bad housekeeper as well. I cried
for days as I went through scrubbing every inch of the house twice
because I was scared I had missed something.

Living my life always on
edge was not how I pictured happily ever after. Finally after
assuring everything was spotless, I put on a knee length coral
sundress with a cream colored cover up.
Sure don't want these fat
arms being the first thing someone sees.

I tell Michael, "I
am going shopping with some girls from work and will be home late."
He nods.

Ha! That's the best I
will get out of him. He cares so little he doesn't even see that I
have fallen in love with someone else. He would probably be tickled
pink if he knew someone else has taken me off his hands. He would
love to not have to deal with me since he has delusions of me being
this obese cow. He would never see that happening so I'm sure it
hasn't crossed his mind, not even once.

The drive to Chance's
condo is beautiful and serene; waves are crashing at the shore with
the warm sun glistening over the water. It seems to bring a sense of
calmness to the nerves in my belly. I could envision this drive
everyday; however, the sight I see on the other side of the door when
I arrive is even better. Chance is wearing a pair of blue board
shorts with tiny palm trees covering the sides, his hair is damp and
he is shirtless. Oh holy fuck, my favorite part. The sight of him
sends a warm sensation just below my stomach.

Raising my eyebrow, I
say, "Well, Mr. Turner, are you going to say something?"

He reaches around me,
placing his hand on my back and pulls me to him. With that wicked
grin stretching across his face, he says, "I have been waiting a
lifetime to be this happy. I just needed a moment to take it all in
and make sure it was real. You look beautiful. Come, let me show you
around."

We walk through the
foyer into the large living room area with a stone fireplace and
white walls with brown plaid drapes covering the windows. Sitting on
the sofa table is a large bouquet of white flowers, and next to them
was a envelope with my name on it. I look over at Chance and crinkle
my eyebrow with a look of confusion on my face. I reach for the card,
inside is a plain white envelope that reads,
Every day I will live
to cherish you and see you smile. When you are ready I want to be
your only one.
I position my hand in his and he leads me to the
kitchen. Looking around the large spacious room surrounded by cherry
wood cabinets and black marble countertops, I take a seat at the bar,
noticing a large red vase filled with at least two dozen, red long
stemmed roses.

Sitting aside the vase
is another envelope with my name on it. Quizzically, I look at Chance
and pout my lips at him. I grab the envelope and open it revealing a
plain white card that reads,
I know we have met under the worst
times; however, I do believe we will make a marvelous forever.
I
can't contain my feelings for this man any longer. I rush over to him
and kiss him. The passion takes over and he picks me up and sets me
on the cold marble counter. Shedding my cover up and pulling my
sundress over my head, his hair brushes against my cheek as he kisses
me; that slight movement sends me over the edge. My hips slide closer
to him as he unsnaps my bra, releasing my breasts. He flicks his
tongue around my nipple, slightly nibbling and sucking before
releasing that one to switch to the other breast; he is driving me
fucking crazy. I feel his hardness against my panties so I reach down
and rub it with my palm, slowly undoing the string so I can get my
hand to the feel the firmness that is ready to fill me.

He moans as I grab it
and start stroking up and down; the move is making me wet with
anticipation. He reaches for my hair and gives it a small tug. I tilt
my neck to the side so he has better access to my neck as my
fingertips slowly trail up his back and then back down again. I let
out a groan and arch my back as he slides my panties down, dropping
them to the floor. Desperately, his fingers are pushing into my sex
and circling my clit. Chance fiercely looks in my eyes and drives me
to the breaking point. I crush my lips into his, bending down to pull
his shorts off. I pull him to the floor and he is hovering over my
body, my knees relax and he centers himself in between them. His cock
is at the center of my sex, my hips start moving back and forth and
he is keeping rhythm with me. I slide my hand between our bodies and
start rubbing my sex and circling my clit. The pleasure is so
intense, so much more than I have ever felt before. Leaning back,
Chance grabs his cock and finds my opening, pushing into me.

He grabs my hand and
sucks my fingers one by one, then leans down and whispers, "Damn,
baby, you taste so sweet!"

The seductive words send
me to the edge. He pulls out and I grab his cock and start sucking
with enough pressure to make him come undone. He tries to pull back
and I continue sucking because the pleasure is so overwhelming I
haven't had enough. Ultimately, I swallow and peek up at him,
grinning. We lay on the kitchen floor, wrapping ourselves into one
another. I have never felt such peace as I do lying on this floor
with him. Michael never used to lay with me afterward; he would just
get up and that was the end. Kind of like a wham bam, thank you,
wife, but that's enough touching since I got my jolly's off. I never
realized how amazing a feeling like this would be. Holding someone
with no rush to get it over with, it's flawless.

In this moment, I wish I
could close the door on my past and stay right here in the present
forever. I don't know where the future is going to end up, but I do
know that this moment is the best feeling I have had other than
everything I experience with my kids daily. I would be a fool to give
this up for someone who sees me as something you scrape off your
shoe. Chance makes me feel beautiful and secure in my body, no matter
the size. When I am with him, I don't hide my stomach or think about
my legs being large. All I think about is his touch on my skin and
the warmth I get from being with him. This is the way my life should
have always been, the feeling of being just enough for someone
without changing who you are or what you look like. My thoughts are
interrupted when Chance moves and turns to look at me, pausing for a
moment to tenderly kiss my lips; even though it is a small touch, I
can feel the steam flowing just below my stomach deep within.

Standing, he reaches for
my hand. "I have something I want you to see."

I take his hand and his
eyes do a onceover of my completely naked body and smiles that damn
wicked grin I love so much. We walk into the bedroom covered in white
walls and white linens. The smell in here has a musty and clean scent
like him. Any woman would take a deep breath to inhale that scent.
Most of the women at work talk about it and love when he walks into a
room. I would almost bet they drool over the thought of that, if not
more naughty thoughts of his body under that doctor's coat. I am
lucky enough to see under that doctor's coat and all those thoughts
they are having can't even compare to the real thing. If I were
wearing panties right now, they would be soaked.

The room has a large
window overlooking the golf club and ocean. The view is spectacular,
but it's what Chance wants to show me that I am interested in. I walk
over to the huge white rose bouquet on the dresser and read the card
set there for me.
I am saying goodbye to the life I had before in
hopes of saying hello to a new one with you. The papers are complete
and the moment you say yes I will finally be complete, too. I love
you, Laney. Let me make you my world.

A tear rolls down my
face. "Chance, I love you, too. I have to figure out how to tell
the kids and I am so scared to break their heart. I will do it soon
because the sneaking around is killing me. I have never lied to them
before, and I hate that I am doing it now."

Chance smiles and wraps
his arms around me, lifting me up and swinging me around. Giggling, I
playfully slap him on his bare ass.

"So you want to
play?" he growls.

All in one quick motion,
he throws me on the bed and starts tickling me like crazy. I can't
control my laughter or the excitement; you would think we were 8
years old. I don't remember the last time I just let loose and was
just happy without fear of doing something wrong and pissing someone
off. We go into the kitchen and Chance starts making ham sandwiches
for lunch, all while telling me stories of his childhood. I can't
believe he went to private school with the bad guy image he has. I
laugh about the time he played a prank on a teacher at school by
putting a sign on the copier that said this copier is now voice
activated. She yelled at the copier all day trying to get it to work.
I can see the deviousness in him and wonder if he would have done
better or worse in a public school.

Chance and Kaleb would
get along great, and I'm afraid he will teach him more things to do
to get him in trouble. Chance lifts me up and says he has one more
room for me to see. Walking down the lightly lit hallway, we make our
way to the last room. He stands back and holds his arm out for me to
open the door. Opening the door, I see a teal colored room with white
furniture and large sliding glass doors leading to a balcony. I look
around and see another bouquet of flowers with a card next to them.
Reading the card I nearly fall apart.

This is for my future
stepdaughter, Callie, the one I will see as my daughter, and I will
cherish her as I will cherish you. The room across the hall is for
Kaleb, my future son; I will work every day to show him how a man
should treat a woman. I will spend my days making sure I can give you
three what you need, and spend my nights showing you all a world of
happiness and love.

We can build a life
together as a family. Tears are pouring down my splotchy red face; a
lump in my throat has formed from trying desperately to hold back the
tears.

"I can't believe
that anyone would want me so much that they would take on all my
baggage and two teenagers. I know how I feel about you, but I have
yet to see what you see in me," I shamelessly admit.

Putting his hands around
my waist, he turns my body toward the full-length mirrors that line
one side of the room. "Look at yourself! See the woman I see
before me. She is a vision of beauty. What is there not to love? I
will one day make you see how remarkable you are and see that you are
a rare jewel, my love, something that is irreplaceable. You are the
ending to my fairy tale, my happily ever after."

The tears pouring down
my face are tears of happiness for myself. In fourteen years, I have
been put down and broken. Now I have finally found someone who lifts
me up and completes me. We spend the rest of the day talking and
sharing our hopes for the future and goofy things we did as children.
It was time to go home and I felt like a piece of me was breaking
when I said goodbye. Going home to Michael was not as appealing as
staying here with Chance. But, I have to go to my home and leave his.

Sunday evening, I try to
be the loving wife I have always been, holding my pain inside and not
showing my sins on the outside. Callie and Kaleb head off to bed and
I am left alone for the first time with Michael. He doesn't even look
at me when the kids aren't around. It's like I am invisible until he
needs something or becomes angry with the thought of me. I wish I
could have made him happy. All I ever wanted was for us to grow old
together and be extremely happy together. No matter what I did, it
never was good enough. Now looking back, I should have seen the signs
that my weight had to do with my husband's hatred toward me. I went
from being full of life to being someone closed up and insecure.

Michael had changed me,
but I also let him take over my life with his. A marriage should be a
husband and wife together, experiencing their dreams and goals with
each other. Instead, I set every part of me aside to become Mrs.
Collins, perfect wife to Mr. Collins. Little did I know it was the
PERFECT part I needed to work on in order to save my marriage and
myself. No matter the hours I put in at the gym or the days I starved
myself, nothing seemed to work for me to get the weight under
control. I am a size 12, all-natural woman who needed to be a size 5,
perfectly tanned woman. Lost in my thoughts, I jerk up once I feel
something hit my arm. I look up, stunned that Michael is standing
over me with his hand in a fist.