Forbidden Forever (10 page)

"What are you
doing, Michael?" I fearfully ask.

He hits me again. This
time I jump up and try to run towards the kitchen. Michael has never
hit me before. I am at a lost as to what he is thinking. I am
screaming for him to calm down and stop. He comes closer and raises
his fist at me again; however, this time Callie is behind him and
yells, "DADDY STOP!"

Michael's eyes burn into
me. He leans into my ear and sharply whispers, "Look what you
have done now. Callie has to see me angry because you won't do
anything to make me happy, you fat bitch." I pull away from him
and walk over to Callie. I assure her everything is fine and that her
daddy needs a break from things for a while. I go into the bedroom
and grab a bag to pack up, then tell Callie to do the same. I walk to
Kaleb's room and tell him we have to leave and to pack some things
for a couple days away. He has no clue about what is going on, but
there is no time to explain. We just need to get away from here and
let him cool off.

We all three walk past
Michael in the living room to the car. Callie is crying and I am
deeply saddened that she had to witness him being violent. Kaleb is
completely clueless as to what is going on. Once in the car and
safely driving away from our home, I place my hand on Callie's and
ask, "Are you is okay?" She nods through her tears and she
wonders why her dad is such a jerk.

She proceeds to talk
about how hateful he is to me and why I would stay with him so long.
I am floored of what I am hearing. I thought I kept it all from them,
that they never knew the real man he was and that they'd never seen
the monster she is talking about now. "Mom, I just thought this
is what happened in marriages, fighting was normal. Seeing him raise
his hand to you is when I knew it wasn't normal." Callie
explains.

My poor daughter thinks
it is normal to have a husband who treats you badly and makes you
sad. Wow, I did this all wrong. I was supposed to be teaching her
that marriages could last and be wonderful. What I should have been
teaching her is that depending on a marriage to complete your life is
not always the best for all those involved. Kaleb doesn't talk much
but seems to take it all in, as though he doesn't quite understand.

We reach a hotel and
once in our room, I decide to talk to Callie and Kaleb and tell them
the things that I have always tried to hide from them for so long.
Callie already knew more than I expected and that crushed my heart
wide open. I forgot how smart she was during those times I was trying
to hide the pain and the monster lurking in our home. What a brave
young girl to see so much and hold that in without even expressing
any anger toward her father. Kaleb just sat on his bed and plugged
into his iPod, blocking out what was going on. It has been a long
night and Callie and I are trying to hold our eyes open for each
other. I wrap my arms around her and we fall asleep, still hoping the
hurt will be gone when we awake.

I am supposed to be at
work this morning; however I do not think that is a good idea. Callie
doesn't need to be alone and she hasn't slept enough to go to school.
Kaleb is going to let it loose sometime soon and he will lash out in
ways I'm not ready to see. I walk into the bathroom and call Chance.
His deep, smooth voice answers, "Good morning, Sapphire!"

"Hi, I will not be
able to come in today. Something's happened and I will be spending
the day with Callie and Kaleb. I left Michael last night and we are
in a hotel."

His voice turns softer.
"Laney, you have a key to the condo so please feel free to go
there and you all try and get some rest. If you need anything, call
me. I won't be there till late this evening so you don't have to
worry about interruptions."

I agree and hang up.
Stepping out of the bathroom, I see Callie sleeping. I lie next to
her and wrap her in my arms. I only want her to feel safe and I know
that with her home broken she is feeling anything but that. About an
hour later Kaleb wakes up starving. We get ready and go to the Ihop
in our hotel. After breakfast I ask them if they would like to go to
my boss' condo.

They both look at me,
confused, and say, "Sure, but is your boss there?"

I assure them that he is
at the hospital and will be gone all day. He offered to let us stay
the day there since it is more relaxed and not in this stuffy hotel
room. The thought of taking my daughter and son there is going to be
totally weird. I don't even know why I would consider it except when
I am there, it feels safe. Pulling into the long circle drive,
Callie's eyes widen at the sight of the large building. We let valet
have our car and walk through the doors into the lobby. It is covered
in brown and gold tones and centers a large delicate chandelier. Once
we reach the elevator that will lead us to his condo, I put in the
special code for his floor.

Callie's mouth drops
open and Kaleb yells, "Dang."

I can't help but laugh
at the look on their faces. "Mom, he must make a lot at the
hospital? You need his job," Kaleb says.

"Yes, I suppose he
does, honey, and it sure would be nice to make that kind of money,"
I acknowledge.

The elevator opens to
the foyer, and before the door fully opens, Callie and Kaleb run to
the large glass doors that lead to the balcony in the living room
area. "Oh my God! Mom, it has a water slide and a lazy river.
Man, I should have brought my bathing suit. You think maybe we can
come back on a normal day?" Callie squeals.

I am so glad that this
has lifted their spirits. I hate seeing them so hurt. I nod. I go get
a drink out of the fridge for us and walk on the balcony with them
and set the drinks on the table in between two chairs. Kaleb lays out
on the chaise lounge while Callie and I sit in the two chairs. We
spend most of the day talking and watching the people outside. I am
trying to decide if I should tell them about Chance or if I should
wait for the dust to settle from last night. I don't want to put too
much on them at once. I decide to keep the secret a little longer
because the thought of them looking at me like they are their dad is
too much to handle at this point.

"So what are you
going to do, Mom?" Callie says.

"Honey, I have
stood behind him for years when the pain from his words hurt so much
at times I couldn't breathe. I just don't think I can handle going
back after being hit. A person should not live their life in fear;
however they should live it in love. I have been in constant fear for
fourteen years, fear for getting fatter and fear that it would turn
out like this. I don't know what to do about where we will live and
how our lives will be now that I have left him, but I cannot go back,
and honestly, I don't want to."

She smiles at me and
adds, "Mom, I am so proud of you for leaving a situation that is
no longer worth losing yourself for."

That's all it took for
me to be one hundred percent sure that I would not go back. Kaleb
still hasn't said much and I'm not sure what it will take to get him
to open up. We all take a walk along the beach and the view from down
low is just as spectacular as the view from up top. Golfers are on
the greenest grass I have ever seen, and the beach is lined with blue
umbrellas and lounge chairs. The blue and teal water is glistening
from the sun's beams. This time of day the beach is nearly secluded
which leaves little for distraction. I finally break the silence and
start explaining to them the choices I have made by staying with
Michael, and how we should never settle for anyone who treats us
poorly, not even for our children. I know they will understand
because Callie in return explains how she would see the way the
little jabs would affect me.

My phone vibrates with a
text message from Chance.

"I wanted to check
on all of you and let you know I will be home around 8pm. How are
Callie and Kaleb? How is my Sapphire?"

"Callie is a brave
young girl with a heart of gold. She has handled this like a champ.
Kaleb is more reserved and holding things in. I wish he would talk
about it, but he has to deal with this his own way. I am surprisingly
calm and ready for a new beginning," I tell him.

"A new beginning
with me, I hope. Laney, you are my rare jewel, my treasure after
years of searching through the rubble. You are the perfect piece to
fill my heart, my soul," he says.

"I want to be with
you and I think it's time I end things on my end to make it happen.
I'm ready to wake up with you every day. I'm ready to let you in my
world. I am going to take Callie to Elizabeth's, then Kaleb to
Dylan's before going to my house to tell Michael what I have decided.
I will be back tonight to stay with you, if that is okay," I let
him know.

"There is nowhere I
would rather you be every night than in my arms. See you tonight,"
he says.

I sit in my car, waiting
for the courage to walk through the door. Michael hasn't tried to
contact the kids or me all day. I don't know what is going through
his mind or where his head is. It's time to be brave and face what is
behind the door. Michael is standing by the kitchen counter when I
walk in. He looks up and his eyes are on me. He looks sad, like he
just lost his best friend; however, I know that it is not me that he
is sad about losing. It is Callie and Kaleb. He has been drinking;
there are alcohol bottles all over the kitchen. He normally doesn't
drink, so this is something new.

He utters, "Are the
kids with you?"

Getting right to the
point, I announce, "No, they aren't ready to come home after
last night. I came to tell you that I want a divorce and that the
kids and I will be moving out."

His eyes harden and I
can see the anger building in his face; he is about to blow.
Preparing myself for the hurtful words he is about to unleash, I
repeat to myself,
I am strong, I can do this, I am strong, I can
do this.
He slowly walks around the counter to stand in front of
me; I can feel the fear circling my throat, choking me. A burning
sensation stings me across my face from something hitting the side of
my cheek. I never saw it coming. I didn't have time to respond to his
fist hitting my face. I grab a hold of the counter and try to stand
straight up but before I can get upright, I feel another hit to the
back of my head. This time it felt like a metal pot instead of his
fist. I try to run, but the pain is overwhelming and I trip and fall
to the ground. I put my arms around my head so he doesn't hit it
anymore, but instead he just kicks my stomach over and over.

"You bitch, you
have fucked up everything. My kids hate me because of your lard ass.
I knew I should have left you for something better. You are nothing
but a fat piece of shit. You have done nothing in this marriage. I
wish you would die," he yells.

Tears are pouring down
my face as his blows are getting harder and the words are cutting
deep into my heart. I try to reach for my phone in my pocket, but the
kicks keep coming and I try to protect myself. I roll into a ball and
that gives him access to my back. He tries making me stand up, but I
know once I do, he will continue to hit my face, so instead I
struggle to drag myself to the door, hoping I can get it open and
scream for help. I get my strength from adrenaline or the fear, I
don't know which, but I finally reach the door. Once I get to my
knees, he slaps my face, then grabs my hair and pulls my head back to
the wall. I grab the doorknob just as he takes my shoulders and turns
me around.
I was almost free.

His face is full of hate
and rage. His breath is in my face and I can smell the alcohol. He
grabs my throat as he yells, "You aren't going anywhere, you fat
bitch. I want our kids and you home." A minute of not being
pounded on is all I needed to get my stamina back and kick him in the
crotch. I had just enough time as he falls to his knees to get out
the door and get into my car. Cranking the car, I see him bolt out
the door and pick up a brick stone next to the porch. He runs and
throws it at my windshield. I dodge so it misses my face. I pull out
of the driveway and call 911. I pull into a handy-way about a block
from my house so they can meet me there. I have blood running down my
face, my clothes are ripped, and my stomach feels like I was beaten
with a baseball bat instead of human hands.

The police quickly
arrive and I give them my home address and the details of the
evening. They take me to the hospital to be checked out and have a
tow truck take my car somewhere to have the windshield fixed. I don't
know how I drove to that store because once I get into the ambulance
my stomach feels like someone just laid a ton of bricks on it. The
EMT gives me something for the pain almost immediately. I know it's
been thirteen years, but I do believe labor hurt less than this. The
EMT is cleaning me up and bandaging the cuts from his boots and the
pot he was using. I guess the adrenaline finally wears off because I
pass out, either from the trauma or the exhaustion of trying to free
myself from that monster.