For the First Time: Twenty-One Brand New Stories of First Love (11 page)

My mouth drops open in a most unbecoming way. Who is this man and where did he dredge up the sex god he used to be fifteen years ago?

“What if I say no?”

He rounds the bed and flips back the covers, then settles back on his pillow as if it were any other night and not the night he gave me a ménage for my birthday. “What if you say yes?”

*     *     *

The next day
on my drive to work, I try to convince myself that last night’s conversation with Dan was a dream, that he didn’t give me a ménage coupon for my birthday, that Saturday night is going to be like every Saturday night for the last few years where we order pizza, watch a movie with the kids, and are in bed with the lights off by ten.

My self-delusion works until I am seated at my desk, trying to concentrate on a new contract for the hospital workers’ union, and Mimi, the irritatingly cheerful hospital admin secretary, pops her head in the door.

“Happy Friday morning, Kylie. Your husband called. He said he sent you a text this morning from the airport changing your Saturday meeting to seven p.m, but you didn’t respond. He needs confirmation by noon.”

“I’ll text him. Thanks.”

“Also, the state health inspectors called to confirm that they’ll be here on Monday.” Mimi brushes back her sleek red bob with her perfectly manicured nails. “Will you need me to work over the weekend? I’m looking for overtime hours, so if you need someone to help make sure everything is in shape for their visit . . . or did you and Dan have plans?”

Just a little ménage à trois with the kids’ dentist.
Or not, since I now have an easy way out of a difficult situation.

I force myself to smile, although I suspect the effect is more of a grimace. “Actually, I was just thinking I should be here on the weekend to run a final check on the hospital systems and operations, and I could definitely use the help.”

“Great!” Her face brightens, and she tugs down her tight red dress as she leaves my office. Slim and pretty, with bright blue eyes, a perfect figure, and a way-too-cheerful disposition, Mimi is highly sought after by the male doctors and staff at the hospital. If Aidan Steadman is looking for something to do with his Saturday night, he would be better off posting his picture on Tinder and hooking up with someone like Mimi, who spends more time flipping through pictures of eligible men on her phone than she does actual work.

Now that I’ve made a decision about Saturday, I pull out my phone. Dan left early this morning for a business meeting in Denver and won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon, which I’m sure factored into his surprise attack plan. But now that I’ve got a way out, his absence works to my benefit, because I can put an end to the whole crazy idea by text without having to deal with a face-to-face confrontation.

State inspection on Mon. Have to cancel Sat night

Irritatingly, Dan answers right away. Like he had his phone in his hand and was just waiting for me to text him.

U said you were ready for that inspection last week

Just want to double check

U said you were double-checking this week

Can’t be too careful.

You’re afraid

Things aren’t so bad. Why shake them up? Let’s just do pizza and movie when I get home

Let’s do something different

Chinese food and board games? Visit my mom?

He’s bringing toys

What kind of toys?

Seven o’clock tomorrow night. Come and find out

*     *     *

I manage to
get through the rest of the day without typing
ménage
or
kinky dentists
into the search engine of my hospital computer. After work, I pick up the boys for hockey practice.

“I’m starving,” Peter says as he climbs into the vehicle. Despite Dan’s protests, we had to buy a minivan to fit all the hockey equipment and the vast quantity of food needed to sustain two teenage boys on hockey road trips. “You didn’t give me anything for lunch.”

“Cooler is in the back.” I glance up at him in the rearview mirror. Our oldest boy is a spitting image of Dan, from the thick brown hair to the dark eyes, and from his height—already six feet tall—to his athletic build. “And I gave you three sandwiches for lunch, a thermos full of soup, four pieces of fruit, two bags of carrots, and a bag of chips.”

“I ate it for my morning snack,” he says, reaching for the cooler. “Then I had to borrow money from Justin to buy something for lunch.”

“I ate my lunch for lunch.” Justin, who inherited my light brown hair and green eyes, beams at me in the mirror while at the same time punching his brother in the ribs to divest him of the cooler. “But it wasn’t enough. Maybe we should stop for a pizza.”

“I’ll give you money for pizza at the Richardsons’ tomorrow night,” I tell him. “And don’t hit your brother.”

“What are you going to do without us?” At thirteen, Justin is caught between wanting to go out with Peter and still enjoying spending time at home with Dan and me.

I choke on my coffee—a necessity for hockey moms who spend long hours standing around in a freezing rink. “Not getting into trouble like you.”

Peter snorts a laugh. “They’ll watch a movie and go to bed early. That’s what happens when you get old.”

“Mom’s not old,” my lovely Justin says. “She’s ten years younger than dad. He’s the old one.”

Not old enough, apparently, since he’s the one all raring to go for a kinky Saturday night.

“I think my filling cracked.” Justin taps his newly bristled jaw. “I heard something when I was eating my carrots this morning. Can we go back and see Dr. Steadman?”

My breath catches in my throat, and I imagine I am in Edvard Munch’s painting,
The Scream
. “No.”

“No?”

“I’m busy at work,” I tell him. “We have the state inspectors coming to the hospital for a visit on Monday. Your dad can take you when he gets home.”

“But it’s sore.”

“I’m sure it will feel better tomorrow.” Desperate, I play the competitiveness card. “Peter once had a filling fall out and he walked around in pain with a hole in his tooth for three weeks without complaining.”

“That’s true,” Peter says, nodding. “I’m too badass to feel pain.”

“I’m badass,” Justin complains.

“Then stop whining and suck it up.” Peter snatches the cooler and pumps his fist in victory.

One hour and two coffees later, I am huddled on the bench beside my friend, Barb, watching the boys play. Her husband ran off with his secretary three years ago and left her with two kids and ten years’ worth of debt. Not one to take things lying down, Barb moved in with her mother, sued the bastard’s ass, and is now back on the dating scene. Her oldest son is Peter’s age, and they play on the same team.

“I think it’s about ten degrees colder in here today,” she says. “I can’t feel my fingers or toes.”

“That’s because you’re wearing fashion boots and no gloves.” I hand her my coffee. She takes a little sip, glances around, and fluffs her blond curls—her new signature move to indicate she’s on the hunt.

“Who are you freezing your hands off for this time?” I ask, retrieving my coffee.

“I met the new coach after practice last week.” She smiles and counts off his attributes on her ungloved hand. “He’s forty, divorced, no kids . . .”

“I thought you were after the vice principal of the high school.”

“That was last week when I didn’t know he was dating Moira from the diner.” She leans back against the bleacher and sighs. “He’s no Dr. Steadman, but I tried it on with our new drop-dead gorgeous dentist when I took Lily for her checkup last week, and he wasn’t playing ball. I think he might be seeing someone already.”

“He’s only been here for three months.”

“Have you seen him?” Barb fans herself. “I mean, half the single women and gay men in town suddenly needed dental work when he opened his office fresh out of dentist school. He could have had his pick. All that thick, dark hair, the blue eyes, the chiseled jaw, the bit of scruff . . . He looks like Chris Pine, except a bit younger.”

“I didn’t notice.” Well, I did, but only in passing. Although I’ve fantasized about other men, I’ve never wanted to be with anyone but Dan. If I met him for the first time today, he would still take my breath away. But maybe I don’t do the same for him. I had assumed Saturday night was just about me. Now Barb has made me wonder if it is about him.

“Liar,” Barb says, interrupting my train of thought. “You have ovaries just like the rest of the women in town. No way you didn’t notice him. Even little girls notice him. My Lily wants to marry him, but I’m going to get there first.”

I fake my way through another hour of conversation without succumbing to the urge to text Dan and tell him Saturday is definitely off. Then I take the boys home, feed them yet again, and help them with their homework. After they’re asleep, I crawl into bed and make the call I’ve been dreading all day.

“Are you gay?” I blurt out after Dan answers the phone. “Is that what this is all about? Were you afraid to tell me, so you plan to show me instead?”

Dan barks a laugh. “No, sweetheart. I’m not gay.”

I lower my voice although there is no way the boys could hear. “I don’t think I could watch you with another man.”

“Aidan and I won’t be touching,” he says. “It’s just about you.”

My hand drifts down over my curves. “And you’re okay with another man touching me? When we were first together, you went crazy when guys talked to me in the bar. You almost broke some guy’s arm when he asked me to dance. You would have gone ballistic if I had asked someone join us in bed.”

Dan sighs and I imagine him lying on his hotel bed in his pajama pants, his chest deliciously bare albeit his dark hair is now slightly peppered with grey. “I’m older now, Kylie. I’m not as passionate about things as I used to be. I want you to be happy, and I when I saw the book you were reading . . .”

Not just one book. I’ve been on a ménage reading kick for the last year, although I’m not about to share that with him.

“Have you done anything like this before?”

Silence

“Dan?”

“Before we were together,” he says. “I was heavy into the kink scene, but all that changed when I met you. I couldn’t imagine sharing you or wanting to do the things I did with other women with you, although I know you were willing to try. But then you got pregnant, and I didn’t feel that need anymore. You and the boys were . . . are everything to me. And now, we’re here.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” My voice wavers. I feel almost betrayed. How could I have lived with him for so long and not know this about him? Why did he never tell me? But then, why did I never ask?

“It was in the past,” Dan says. “And I was never unhappy with how things were between us. Just lately, I feel like I’m losing you. I thought if I was that man again, the man you fell in love with . . .”

“I still love you.”

“Then let’s try this, sweetheart,” he says. “For both of us.”

*     *     *

Of course, everything
goes wrong on Saturday, and I am stuck at work until six making sure things are fixed up for Monday’s inspection. With no time left to shop for sexy lingerie, I race home only to walk into an empty house. I check my phone and find two missed messages from Dan. His plane was delayed, but he’ll be home by seven-thirty. He’s already talked to Aidan. We should start without him.

Start without him?
How are we supposed to engage in a ménage with only two people? What am I supposed to wear for the hottest man in town? Somehow I don’t think my fuzzy sheep-print PJs are going to cut it. And how does this kind of thing work? Should Aidan and I just strip off our clothes and get down and dirty on the coffee table until Dan shows up?

I can’t even imagine how awkward this is going to be. So I don’t. Instead, I pretend Barb is coming over for a chat. I change into my sexiest pink bra and panties, yoga pants, and a fitted V-neck T-shirt. Although I’m not comfortable with my curves anymore, I am always looking for an excuse to show off my breasts.

I feed Rusty, our Labrador retriever who we rescued from the pound five years ago. Then I whip up an avocado dip, cut up some veggies, and put Dan’s favorite beer in the fridge.

By the time the doorbell rings, I have almost forgotten about the ménage.

By the time I reach the door, my heart is pounding, and I’m sweating like I’ve run a marathon. Twice.

I take a deep breath.

Let it out.

Open the door.

“Hi, Kylie.” Aidan Steadman flashes his perfectly white teeth and I almost melt into a puddle on the floor. He looked hot in his office, wearing his dentist coat with the little tools lined up in the pocket, but standing on my front porch in his low-rise jeans, his abs rippling beneath his tight black T-shirt, a duffel bag in his hand, all ready to have sex with me and Dan, he takes my breath away.

And my voice.

My mouth opens. Then closes again. Rusty rushes in to save the day by sniffing at Aidan’s crotch, as if he knows that’s why Aidan’s here. I force my lips up into a smile and will the ground to swallow me up.

Finally, I manage to squeak, “Come in.”

Aidan gives Rusty a pat and then steps inside, closing the door behind him.

“Sorry about Rusty.” I tug on Rusty’s collar, pulling him away. “We like crotches.”
Fuck.
“I mean,
he
likes crotches.”
Oh God
. “I mean he always sniffs strange, new things . . . No. People. He sniffs strange people. Well, not strange people. Strangers. He sniffs strangers. In the crotch. He’s male.”

Shut up, Kylie
. My cheeks heat and I look away.

“No problem.” Aidan smiles in a kind and not a
she’s crazy what did I get myself into?
way. “I’ve had dogs all my life. I’ve just bought a German shepherd pup. I’m picking it up next week. My wife kept our Collie after the divorce.”

I’m not sure if he’s happy because he hated the Collie and his wife, or sad because he liked the Collie and hated his wife, or liked the Collie and liked his wife, so I just nod. “I have snacks.”