For the First Time: Twenty-One Brand New Stories of First Love (12 page)

Aidan makes himself comfortable while I race to the kitchen and contemplate sticking my head in the oven and turning on the gas.

“Nice place,” he says when I return with the beer and veggies and dip.

“We’ve been here since Peter was born.” I perch on the edge of the brown leather love seat, while a betraying Rusty curls up on the matching couch beside his new best friend. “We redecorated this year. Since I’m the only woman in a house full of guys, I had to give up my dream of pink and chintz and settle for dark leather, wood, and browns and creams.”

“I see a woman’s touch in here.” Aidan plucks a carrot from the veggie plate. “Those paintings are beautiful. Lots of color.”

My cheeks warm with a small burst of pride, and I glance up at the colorful abstracts on the wall behind me.

“I painted them when I was young and crazy and thought I’d be able to make a living as an artist.” I ease back on the chair. “Then we were faced with the reality of having two small kids, and I went into hospital administration instead.”

“It happened to me, too.” Aidan crosses one leg over the other, and I try not to stare at the significant bulge in his jeans. For a moment, I almost feel jealous of Rusty.

“I used to be in a jazz band.” He strokes Rusty’s head. “But just as we were making a name for ourselves, my dad was killed by a drunk driver. I had to get a real job to look after my mom and sister. My grandfather was planning to retire from his dental practice, and he said he’d wait for me to finish dental school so he could hand it over to me.”

“I’m sorry about your father.”

Aidan shrugs. “I still miss him, but it’s made me more relaxed about life. I take each day as it comes. Try to enjoy myself. I don’t hang with people who bring me down, don’t hold on to things that don’t make me happy.”

I assume he is talking about his ex, not that I would ever ask. But maybe that’s the mistake Dan and I have made. Once we drifted apart, we should have cut it off and sought our happiness elsewhere, instead of in bed with a stranger.

“So, does this make you happy?” I gesture vaguely around the living room, taking in everything from the family pictures to the afghan my mother made for our wedding to Rusty dozing on the couch. “I mean, you could be at the local bar picking up any of the single girls who I hear have been panting after you since you arrived instead of here.”

Aidan laughs. “I like to try to new things, have new experiences. I’m pretty much up for anything. And I’ve been with lots of couples before. I like the dynamic.” He leans forward, his elbows on his knees, his beautiful blue eyes fixed on me. “I’m just here to have fun. You want to have some fun, Kylie? Those paintings tell me you have a little wild hiding in you.”

Yes!
All the air leaves my lungs in a rush, but just as I am about to blurt out something stupid, like
take me now
or
let’s do it on the coffee table,
the door opens and Dan calls out, “Hello.”

Aidan gives a little shrug, like he’s disappointed Dan’s here, and for the briefest of moments, so am I.

“Sorry I’m late.” Dan crosses the room and presses a kiss to my cheek before shaking hands with Aidan. “Who wants another drink?”

“Me.” I cringe inwardly at my over-exuberant voice, but there is no way I’m going to get through this sober.

Dan looks over his shoulder and grins. “Gin and Tonic? You want a double, sweetheart?”

“Two doubles. Maybe just give me the bottle. Or better yet, a drip feed.”

Dan pours the drinks and joins us in the living room. We chat about the town, Aidan’s decision to make a clean break after his divorce, the state of the nation’s teeth, and home renovations. I have several drinks. We eat all the snacks. On the surface, it all seems very normal, and yet at the back of my mind, I keep wondering: when is it going to happen? How is it going to happen? Why am I the only person in the room who isn’t relaxed?

“Well,” Dan says after about thirty minutes of friendly talk. “Should we go upstairs?”

“I’ll grab my bag.” Aidan takes his glass and the now empty plate of veggies to the kitchen and returns with his duffle bag.

Dan holds out his hand. “Come on, sweetheart.”

“I can’t move,” I say. “I think I’m frozen to the seat. You go on without me. I might just catch up on the last season of
Game of Thrones
.”

“She’s very tense,” Aidan says, coming up behind me. He drops his bag and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Relax, Kylie. We’re just going to have a good time.” He kneads my muscles with warm, firm hands. And, oh God, it feels so good. I look up at Dan to make sure he’s okay with this, and he nods.

“Good idea,” he says. “Kylie has trouble relaxing at the best of times.”

So I roll with it.

Aidan massages my shoulders and my neck. Then his hands move down my arms. I try not to think about the fact my arms are fleshy, not toned. Or that my body is soft and not hard and fit like Mimi’s. Or why he would rather spend his evening with us than with one of the hordes of singles desperate to get into his pants.

My tension eases and I sink into my seat.

“Good girl,” Aidan murmurs. And although he’s about five years younger than me, and I’m not really a girl, his words make my blood hot and my insides quiver. Not because Aidan said them but because it’s how Dan used to talk to me, and nothing ever got me wetter than his dirty talking.

Dan perches on the arm of the couch and drums his thumb on his thigh. If this were any other time and any other place, I would say he was agitated, but he’s the one who arranged this evening, so maybe he’s just impatient to get started.

Or have we started already?

Aidan sweeps my hair to the side and softly kisses my neck. “I was with a couple one time, and the woman got so stressed she passed out in the kitchen,” he says. “We had to find something to relax her before we could begin.”

“What was it?” I look back over my shoulder, and he gives me a warm smile.

“Cat videos.”

Laughter bubbles in my chest. “You won’t have to go to those extremes with me. I’m not the fainting type.”

“No, you’re not.” He rounds the love seat and offers a hand to help me stand. “You’re very grounded, Kylie. Very self-assured. Very beautiful. Very real. To be honest, you make me nervous.”

“I make you nervous?”

My gaze flicks to Dan to check if there’s some joke that I’m missing. How could I possibly make a sex god nervous? But Dan isn’t laughing. In fact, he’s looking curiously unsettled.

“Yeah, you do.” He looks over at Dan. “Is kissing okay?”

Dan’s corded throat tightens when he swallows. “Sure.” His voice thins. “If Kylie’s good with it.”

I lick my lips, imagine kissing Aidan’s perfect mouth.

Oh God. I forgot to brush my teeth.

“Some couples draw the line at kissing.” Aidan steps closer, nuzzles my neck. “Some at sex. Some at anal, although then we can’t do any double penetration.”

I gag on my tongue.

“Do you want to discuss limits in advance?” Aidan asks. “Or just as we go along?”

Since Dan is being uncharacteristically quiet, and I am now feeling more relaxed after my gin, massage, and nuzzle, I step in. “If we start talking about it in detail, you’ll need more than cat videos to get me off the floor.”

Aidan laughs and cups my jaw. “You on the floor I wouldn’t mind, but I do like my partners conscious.” He leans in and kisses me lightly. His lips are warm and firm. Gentle.

Hesitantly, I trace my tongue over his lips. His mouth opens, and he lets me explore, taste the faint traces of gin and avocado dip on his tongue. With a soft groan, he slides his hand around my neck and draws me closer. When I am pressed tight against his deliciously hard body, he kisses me again, deeper this time, his tongue tangling with mine. Exploring.

Heat floods my veins. I haven’t kissed another man since my first kiss with Dan over fifteen years ago. And although he wants this, it feels wrong without him. Aidan must sense this, too, because he motions Dan over.

“Join us, Dan. You stand behind Kylie and we can tag team.” His relaxed demeanor and his ability to joke around in what could be an incredibly awkward situation do much to ease my tension, especially when I catch sight of Dan’s rigid jaw.

“You okay?” I ask as he joins us.

“Yes. Of course.” He slides his arms around my waist and drops his head to my shoulder, drawing in a shuddering breath as he pulls me toward him and away from Aidan. Possessive. In a way he hasn’t been in years. But his touch feels right, like coming home.

Dan brushes his lips over my ear. “Did you like kissing him, sweetheart?”

Although I suspect he doesn’t want to hear the truth, I will not lie to Dan. We may have drifted apart, but I have always been honest with him. “Yes.”

His arms tighten around me and he hisses out a soft breath. Before I can say anything, he cups my jaw in his firm grip and tips my head back. Pulling me against him, he leans down and kisses me long and hard, like he’s trying to erase Aidan’s kiss, like I’m his and he wants Aidan to know it.

Heat sears through me in a massive wave. I don’t know this sexy, dominant man kissing me.

Or maybe I do.

“Let’s go upstairs, where we can be more comfortable.” Aidan picks up his bag, and Dan gives me a last, lingering kiss before he leads us up the stairs to the master bedroom.

I try not to look at the pictures of my boys and Rusty on the walls around the landing. I try not to think about what’s going to happen when we step through the bedroom door. But with my panties wet and my nipples aching, it’s hard not to be just a little curious about what’s to come.

Once we are all in the bedroom, Dan closes the door. “Just in case the kids come home,” he says.

But I’m not looking at Dan, because Aidan is pulling off his T-shirt, and his body is definitely something not to be missed. His tanned, toned muscles are so defined he looks shrink-wrapped. My gaze drifts from his broad shoulders to the taut pecs and over his chiseled abs to the long cuts in his hipbones that point directly at the bulge in his jeans. Barb is right. No woman could be unaffected by a body like that.

“A lot of first timers prefer to be blindfolded.” Aidan reaches into his duffle bag and pulls out a length of black cloth. “You’ll feel less self-conscious, and you can focus more on sensation. But it’s entirely up to you. It’s a trust issue. I’m just as happy looking into those beautiful green eyes of yours.”

Trust.
Do I trust Dan? We may have been caught up in the minutia of our lives, but yes, I trust him more than anyone else. And wouldn’t it be wonderful to be freed from worrying about where people are looking and what they are thinking and trying to catch glances of myself in the mirror and then wishing I hadn’t?

“I’ll give it a try,” I say.

I turn around so Aidan can tie the scarf around my head. The last thing I see before my eyes close is Dan’s strained and troubled face.

“Dan.” My hands fly up to the blindfold, but Dan catches them before I can rip it off. He draws my hands down and wraps his arms around me, trapping my arms by my sides.

“I’m okay,” he whispers. “You’re okay.”

My heart is thudding so loud I can barely hear his words. “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”

I hear the creak of the floor, the rustle of the bag, the crinkle of plastic, the slide of a zipper. Panic seizes me, and all the air leaves my lungs in a rush.

“Oh, sweetheart. I can feel your heart pound. Breathe for me.” Dan’s lips whisper over my hair, and he tightens his arms around me until I relax.

“I can’t do this,” I say.

“Are you sure? It’s only if you want. I can ask him to go.”

I rest my head against his chest. “A long time ago, you said you didn’t share.”

“I also said I would do anything for you,” he murmurs. “Grant you any wish. Make your fantasies come true. Although I didn’t think it would be this hard. After seeing him with you downstairs, I’m going to have to make a few rules.”

“What rules?”

“It’s only about you.” He slides his hands under my T-shirt and slowly pushes it up.

I gasp as cool air brushes over my heated skin, and then I feel Aidan’s warm hands on my back, undoing the clasp on my bra.

Aidan strokes my cheek, and I shiver, every muscle stretched taut in anticipation, every sense heightened, my pulse pounding in my ears. What is he going to think when he sees beneath my clothes? What if he decides to walk away and find a young, hard-bodied Mimi to spend his night with? How humiliating would that be?

“The only touching that goes on involves you,” Dan murmurs as he eases my shirt over my breasts. “But I’m in control. Anything you feel, you’ll feel because I made you feel that way. Any touch, any kiss, is because I want it to happen. And nothing happens without your consent. You say stop, it stops. You say go, he goes. In the end, this is about me giving you what you want and you getting off on it.”

Aidan glides his hands up my body, lifting my arms as Dan removes my shirt. My hair swings down over my bare back in a soft, gentle caress, and Aidan presses a kiss to my shoulder. “Lovely.”

“She is, isn’t she?” Dan slides my bra down my arms and off, leaving me exposed. I grit my teeth, fighting against the urge to cross my arms and hide.

“Turn around, sweetheart. Let Aidan see you.”

My cheeks flame, and I shake my head, bury my face in his cool, cotton shirt.

“Turn, Kylie.”

Damn him and that dark, rich, commanding tone he used only when were having the kind of sex that left bruises on my thighs and my pussy sore and aching in the most delicious way. A voice I haven’t heard in years. A voice I know better than to disobey.

That voice and the firm press of Dan’s hands on my shoulders send a rush of heat to my pussy. Not the gorgeous man standing beside me. Not the deliciously illicit thrill of having my deepest fantasy come to life. This is what I missed. What I craved. What I lost.

Licking my lips, I turn, grateful for the blindfold so I don’t have to see Aidan’s reaction to my partially unclothed body.

“You have beautiful breasts, Kylie.” Aidan cups my breasts in his warm hands, kneading them gently. He circles my left nipple with his fingers and rolls it into a peak, increasing the pressure until my lower half turns molten. “I could play with them all night,” he says as he moves to my other breast.