For Mac (23 page)

Today had been shaping up to be spectacular. Branson had been relaxing and enjoying the company of Liam’s family. There would never have been a good time for things with Mac to heat up, but on Christmas day? In Liam’s mind, there wasn’t a worse day in the world for this to happen again.

Christmas evening was subdued, of course. Branson stayed with Mac long after visiting hours. No one had the heart to tell him to go home. When he fell asleep with his head on Mac’s bed, hands clutching his brother’s, Liam decided it was time to try to take him home.

“Come on, bud,” Liam whispered into Branson’s ear as he tugged his shoulders back. “Let’s get you home.” Liam expected Branson to fight him, to refuse to leave Mac’s side. He was ready to deal with that. But what he got was more disturbing. Branson didn’t say a word. Didn’t say he wanted to stay with Mac, didn’t even say good-bye to Mac. That’s what really worried Liam. Branson was “gone” again. He walked out of the facility like an automaton. There wasn’t any fight, any life, left in him.

Liam buckled Branson into his car and drove silently to Branson’s house. Bran stared out the side window without so much as trying to start a conversation. When they got to the house, Branson stayed in the car. Liam had to go around and open his door and then start to pull one of Branson’s arms to get him to stand up. He led him to the door, through it, and to the couch.

“Branson, man. You’re starting to scare me again, bud.” Liam knelt down in front of him and took hold of his shoulders. Branson sluggishly looked at him, finally.

“I’m okay,” he said quietly.

“Oh, Bran,” Liam answered softly. “You are far from okay. But at least you’re talking to me again.”

“I have a lot on my mind. I’m fine.”

Liam let that go and asked a different question. “Have you talked to Dr. Luxton about these… absent periods?”

“It hasn’t come up yet.” Branson looked away.

“Bran.” Liam turned Branson’s face back around to face him. “It’s not going to come up by itself. You’re going to have to bring it up.”

“It’s nothing.” Branson was still trying to dismiss it.

“It’s not nothing, Bran,” Liam insisted, “but as long as you’re able to come back, I won’t hassle you about it… too much.”

Branson grinned, then must have decided to talk about it, after all. “It’s… well, this time… wasn’t like I couldn’t hear you. It sounded like you were far away, but I knew you were there. I knew where you were taking me…. It was just… I couldn’t make myself move.”

“Yeah, that’s still worrisome, Bran.” Liam tried to make light of it. But he was still concerned. “But at least you weren’t completely gone, like the night in the bathroom.” Liam wasn’t sure himself which bathroom incident he was talking about: the recent one at Silver Linings or the one all those years ago in Branson’s house. Mostly the recent one, he supposed, and it was no surprise it was that one Branson seized on.

“No,” Branson agreed. “That time I really didn’t know you were there. I didn’t hear anyone trying to talk to me at all.”

“See, that’s what I mean.” Liam pushed. “You need to talk to Dr. Luxton about that. It’s not a typical depression symptom, but it’s definitely something that should be addressed, I would think.”

Branson hung his head. “Yeah, maybe.”

Liam didn’t think for a minute that that would be the last conversation they’d have about that topic, but he decided that it was best to leave it for now.

“Do you want to watch a movie or go to bed?” He changed the subject.

“It’s really late,” Branson replied, and Liam took that to mean he wanted him to leave, but Branson continued. “But if you wouldn’t mind staying awhile….”

“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I minded, Bran.” Liam smiled.

“Then, yes, I’d love to watch a movie.” Branson grinned too. “What’ll it be?
It’s a Wonderful Life
or
Miracle on 34th Street
?”

Liam pretended to have to think about it, then said, “I can’t decide. How about both?”

Branson chuckled, which was the effect Liam had been going for, of course, and they put in the first movie. Neither of them had to work the next day. They didn’t have to be anywhere until Branson had to be at Dr. Luxton’s for his appointment. It wouldn’t be the first time Liam sacked out on Branson’s couch for the night, so, as far as he was concerned, all was good.

Branson

D
R
. P
EARSON
consented to come to Silver Linings for the consultation instead of having them transport Mac to the hospital. After about fifteen minutes, he agreed with Dr. Brooks’s opinion of switching his medication and using an external pacemaker if necessary after seizures. He suggested that they have more brain scans done, but it would be a while before they could schedule that. There wasn’t much they could do except continue to manage symptoms as they appeared.

Branson spent the rest of the day with Mac, and when the time to leave for his appointment with Dr. Luxton rolled around, he kissed Mac’s forehead and left.

He had much to talk to the therapist about. The incident with Mac the previous day had scared him badly. He was finally allowing himself to realize that Mac wasn’t coming back to him, not anything like he was, but as long as Mac was alive, it was like having a bit of his brother around. He was afraid that he would soon lose even that.

Branson also decided that Liam was right. These… episodes, or whatever they were, were concerning. Normal people didn’t space out like that, especially to the point of not hearing people. He didn’t know why he did that, but fortunately, he didn’t do it often, or at least hadn’t until recently.

He also wanted to focus more on how he felt about Liam. They had talked several times about how Branson felt about being gay and had touched on Liam, but he wanted to try to make a decision about his relationship with Liam. He could do that by himself, of course, but he found he benefited from having a sounding board.

A
FTER
HIS
appointment he drove to Silver Linings but dreaded what he’d find. He knew they would have called him if anything had actually happened to Mac, but it was getting so that being with Mac wasn’t that reassuring. He was nothing like his strong, in-charge brother; hadn’t been in over a year, and Branson was finding it harder and harder to accept that.

On the way, he stopped by Mr. J.’s room to cheer himself up a bit. He enjoyed his continued visits with the old man, and Mr. J. seemed to like them too. Today, though, Branson didn’t stay long. Mr. J. had been sleeping when he came in. Branson stood there long enough to make sure the man was okay. Mr. J. roused a little and turned over in his sleep. Branson smiled and then continued down the hall.

When he got to Mac’s room, he was surprised to find Andy there. His and Amy’s visits had dwindled over the last several months. They were busy people, Bran knew that, but sometimes it almost felt like they were giving up on Mac entirely. To be honest, they had probably been coming for Branson more than Mac after the first couple of months. When Liam started being there for Bran so often, it was like they felt he didn’t need them as much anymore, and the frequency of their visits decreased. To give them their due, though, they still came periodically.

“Hey, Andy.” Branson’s voice reflected how genuinely pleased he was to see him. “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

“Yeah.” Andy looked like he felt a little guilty. “I haven’t been here for a while, and what with the episode yesterday, I thought I’d better come over again, while I had the chance.”

Branson could have lived without that last statement, but then Andy had never been known for his tact, and it was a valid concern.

“I’m glad you could come,” Branson said sincerely. “You sticking around for a while?”

“I can… if you wouldn’t mind,” Andy responded. “I haven’t gotten the chance to visit with you for a while either. How about a game of cards?”

It was the first time Branson clued into what Andy had been doing. A solitaire game was in progress on the rolling table at Mac’s bedside.

“Sure,” Branson agreed. “Liam is going to meet me here. Would you mind dealing him in too?”

“No problem, my brother.” Andy got a gleam in his eye. “How good is Liam at shorthand poker?”

T
HE
REST
of the week and the weekend were quiet enough. Dr. Brooks was out of town for the next several weeks, finally—Branson was beginning to think the man didn’t have any family to spend the holidays with—but he had left word that he wanted to talk to Branson when he got back. His replacement, Dr. Ted, seemed nice enough. Ted wasn’t his last name, of course, but he was of Middle Eastern descent and had what Bran would swear was at least a thirteen-syllable name and one that Branson had a horrible time trying to replicate. The doctor smiled and said it happened all the time and to please call him Dr. Ted.
That
, Branson thought,
I can manage
.

Monday was New Year’s Eve. Liam’s family had a big blowout each year, apparently, but then that didn’t surprise Branson. He was beginning to think that they grabbed any opportunity to get together, and he was glad they let him be a part of it. It felt nice to be part of a big family, one that truly loved and supported each other. They had asked Branson to invite Amy and Andy, and to Branson’s great delight, they had accepted the offer. He missed spending time with the two of them. His life had basically narrowed to spending time with Mac or spending time with Liam—or both—and he wouldn’t want to spend less time with either of them, but somehow that ended up translating to spending less time with Amy and Andy. He loved them like siblings and missed them when he didn’t see them for a while. He was overjoyed that all his friends would be in one place as the calendar flipped from one year to the next.

He visited Mac early on New Year’s Eve, kissed him on the forehead, despite knowing that a wide-awake Mac would have hated that, and met Liam at Branson’s house around eight o’clock. They drove together, as they often did, to Liam’s family home and were just about the last ones there. The girls were both there by that time, and Aaron was running around, obviously hopped up on sugar and caffeine already. Patrick was there shortly thereafter, with Shawn in tow. Liam had warned Branson that the kids got to stay up this one night of the year and were often a bit wild. Branson hadn’t minded the idea, though; in fact, he had been kind of looking forward to it until the kids started getting tired but cranky because they wanted to stay up instead of going to sleep like their bodies were obviously telling them they needed to do. Branson had never been around cranky kids and kind of thought, at the time, that he’d have to make a point of never being around cranky kids again. But looking back, as he did the next morning, it really wasn’t that bad. They were good kids overall, and he had had fun that night, regardless of a little crankiness.

T
HE
NEXT
week or so went by without incident, until Friday. Liam was later than usual getting to Silver Linings to meet Branson for dinner, and Branson was sitting with Mac after work until Kathy came in to give Mac a sponge bath. They usually tried to wait until closer to the end of visiting hours, and Branson didn’t know why Kathy had decided to come in right now, but she did, so Branson decided to take a walk. As he passed by Mr. Johnson’s room, he decided to slip in and visit the old man for a while. He had been sleeping when Branson had peeked in earlier. He was still sleeping now, or so Branson thought. But something didn’t look right. Branson couldn’t put his finger on what was wrong, but he knew something was.

He went to the nurse’s station and asked Monica to come check out Mr. J. She did immediately, of course. Moments later, she was calling the old man’s doctor.

“What happened?” Branson asked Monica as Mr. J. was wheeled out on a gurney.

“He’s had another stroke.” She patted Branson’s arm. “They’re going to move him back to the hospital. Get him checked out by a specialist. Do some scans.”

Liam got there after that, and Branson filled him in. They talked about what that might mean for Mr. J. on their way to dinner.

“Did anyone call his son?” Liam asked in the car.

“I’m assuming someone did,” Branson answered. He hadn’t asked, and hadn’t actually seen anyone make the call, but it was procedure, and the staff at Silver Linings was always professional and efficient, so he was pretty sure they had. “Not that it’ll matter much. Mr. J. has been at Silver Linings for how many months now? And I’ve never seen his son… not once.”

“He hasn’t called either, as far as I know,” Liam added. “Well, once to complain about a raise in copay, which, of course, was the insurance’s idea, not ours. He probably called the insurance company and cussed them as soon as he finished cussing us.”

“Mr. J. is so sweet,” Branson noted. “How did his son turn out to be such an asshole?”

“Who knows?” Liam said. “Any of a number of things. Maybe Mr. J. wasn’t always so sweet or wasn’t around to influence his son. Maybe he was, or would have been, but didn’t have custody of him? None of us knows the backstory there, and no one wants to ask Mr. J. And, of course, asking the son is out of the question,” Liam concluded. “Shite happens, I guess.”

“Yeah, well, still,” Branson said. “Someone should go to the hospital and make sure he’s okay.”

Liam smiled. “We will after dinner, okay? That’ll give them enough time to get him stabilized and finish any treatment they’re going to do.”

Branson smiled in return. He couldn’t get over how caring Liam was and how well he seemed to know what Branson meant, even when he didn’t come out and say it.

T
HEY
GOT
to the hospital barely before visiting hours were over. The nurses didn’t want to let Liam and Branson in to see Mr. J. since they weren’t family, but Liam explained that Mr. J. was a resident at SLR, where Liam worked, and he would like to check on him, in an unofficial capacity. He also explained that his only known family was unlikely to come for a visit.