For Better or Worse (19 page)

Then a baby is what we’ll have
.

Harold settled into bed. It had been a long day. He’d intended to go in to work after Zoey’s ultrasound appointment, but when Zoey announced she’d be giving the baby to Cam and Sadie, his girls had needed him. They’d all done a lot of talking and praying. Thankfully, when he’d called Rudy to see how things were going at work, Rudy told him he and Walt had everything covered.
I’ll just go in a bit earlier tomorrow
.

He turned toward his alarm clock and reset it for four thirty. After picking up his Bible, he turned to the book of Acts. He’d been reading through his Bible one chapter a night for several years. As much as he hated reading, he found his relationship with the Lord deepened just by reading a bit of Scripture each night.
Even I can handle one chapter per night
.

Kelly walked out of the bathroom. She wore a long flannel nightgown that practically covered every inch of her body from her neck all the way down her arms and all the way down to her ankles. She padded on bare feet to the dresser, where she opened the top drawer, pulled out a pair of fluffy red socks, and quickly shoved them on her feet. He couldn’t help but chuckle.

Kelly looked at him. Her face had been newly cleaned and was shiny from whatever lotion or cream she put on each night. She’d put some kind of band around her head to keep any hair from touching her face. “You know I freeze at night.”

Harold patted the bed. “I think you look adorable.”

She slipped into bed beside him and reached for a bottle of lotion on her end table. While she rubbed the flowery smelling stuff on her hands, Harold looked back at his Bible and started to read.

“Harold,” Kelly whispered. “Do you love me?”

“You know I do,” Harold mumbled and continued to focus on the words in front of him. He read about the Lord telling Ananias to go to Straight Street to look for a man named Saul. God’s precise instructions always fascinated him. The Lord was specific, and Harold loved that about Him.

“Harold,” Kelly whispered again. “You know I love you, too.”

“Mmmhmm.” Harold continued to read about Ananias’s fear about the harm Saul had already done to the Christians. Harold wondered if he would voice his concern to God as Ananias did. If Harold heard God’s audible voice, he hoped he’d respond affirmatively right away.
But then sometimes I realize later He’s right next to me trying to tell me something important, but I’m oblivious to His voice
.

“Harold,” Kelly whispered again. “How much do you love me?”

“A whole bunch,” Harold mumbled, as he continued to read the Lord’s emphatic instruction to Ananias to do as God said. Ananias needed to listen to God and not doubt the men He chose to spread His word.
Lord, I just don’t think I would be so hardheaded. I think I would recognize that I needed to listen to You, to heed what You said
.

“Harold …”

“Hmm?” Harold continued to read. When Ananias placed his hands on Saul and spoke to him, scales fell from Saul’s eyes. He immediately got up and was baptized. Saul didn’t waste any time acknowledging God’s prodding.
Well, he did spend three days blind, though, didn’t he?

“What if things changed?”

Harold looked at Kelly for the first time. What had she been talking to him about? He was trying to read his Bible, trying to unwind from a long day. What was all this concern about him loving her and her loving him? She knew he loved her. She’d been the one going bonkers on him lately. “What are you talking about, Kelly?”

She twisted a bit of the gown between her hands. “I just need to know that you love me.”

“Of course I love you.”

“No matter what.”

He touched her chin. “No matter what.” He looked back at his Bible.

“Even if things changed.”

Harold looked at Kelly and frowned. “Can things change any more then they already have?”

She nodded. Fear traced her features. Maybe it wasn’t fear, but more like hesitancy. But what could she be hesitant to tell him? He didn’t believe there was a thing in the world Kelly could say that would surprise him. “When you married into my family, I should have warned you that things could always change—a lot.”

He took her hands into his. “Not my love for you.”

“That’s good …” Kelly hesitated. She shut her mouth, then opened it again. “’Cause …” She let out a long breath.

Concern worked its way through Harold’s veins. What would Kelly possibly have to tell him that had her so nervous to just come out and say it? “Kelly?”

She pulled her hands away from his and covered her eyes. “I’m pregnant.”

Harold stared at her. The words played once, twice, then a third time through his mind. “Did you say …?”

She lowered her hands and pouted. “I said I’m pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant?” Harold felt his eyebrows raise, felt his mouth gape open. Excitement coursed through his body. He would be a father, a biological father, a father to a baby, then a kid, then a teenager. He’d get to go through all the steps and not just take the kid on once he’d gotten too smart for his own good. “You’re pregnant!”

“I’m sorry.” Kelly frowned and the pout deepened. “I never dreamed we’d have to take precautions. My tubes were tied, and I just can’t—I can’t believe it.”

“You’re pregnant!” Harold couldn’t stop saying it. He was going to be a daddy. He was going to hold his own son in his arms. They would play catch together, go fishing together, and do all the things dads and sons did together. Never in his wildest imaginations did he ever dream he’d have the opportunity to have his own child.
God, what a blessing! What an unbelievable blessing!

Harold pulled Kelly over to him, wrapping his arms around her. “Oh, Kelly.”

“I’m sorry, Harold.”

“Sorry?” Harold raked his fingers through her hair. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so excited.” He released her long enough to cup her cheeks in his hands. “I never thought I’d have my own child.” He pressed his lips against hers. “You’ve given me the best gift.”

“You’re happy?” Kelly’s voice sounded surprised.

Harold jumped out of bed. “I’m more than happy. Girls!” he yelled. “Girls!”

Candy raced into the room. “What?” Brittany and Zoey followed behind her.

“Harold!” Kelly said. “I didn’t expect you to tell them so quickly.”

“Why not? It’s the most wonderful news in the world.” He turned toward his stepdaughters. “Your mom is pregnant.”

Harold’s response had not been what she expected. But his excitement had eased her concerns and allowed her to consider what it would be like to have a baby in the home again—one that she and her husband would raise as their own child.

Candy and Brittany had been overjoyed, every bit as excited as Harold. Zoey had been more reserved. Kelly admitted the idea of the two of them being pregnant together seemed odd to her, as well.
Definitely isn’t something I ever intended to happen
.

The next morning as she drove to the high school, Kelly thought about Harold placing his hands on her still somewhat flat stomach. He’d kissed her beside her belly button. “Good morning, baby.” He patted her stomach, then stood and kissed her lips. “Eat right today. Make sure you don’t let your students stress you out. Sit down every chance you can.”

Kelly laughed at the memory. Harold would probably drive her crazy for the next several months. Her cell phone rang, and Kelly pulled it out of her purse and answered it. “Hello.”

“Hey, Kelly.” Sadie’s voice sounded over the line. “I hear you have some big news.”

“I’m guessing Zoey called you.” Kelly couldn’t help smiling into the phone. Sadie had been a terrific sister-in-law, and Kelly knew she’d been an encouragement to Zoey through the last several months.

“She did.”

“Is she upset about me being pregnant, too?” Just saying the words aloud caused Kelly to scrunch her nose. She was relieved with Harold’s excitement at the pregnancy, and she’d begun to allow herself to wrap her mind around being a mother of a newborn again, but it was still strange to be pregnant the same time as her daughter.

“Not upset,” Sadie said. “Just a little weirded out.”

Kelly laughed. “I’m a little weirded out, too.”

“How do you feel about her news? About adoption, I mean.”

“I was surprised, and I’m not at all opposed to it. I guess I just hadn’t considered—”

“I just want you to know I never mentioned it to her. She came to Cam and me and asked us if we’d be willing to adopt the baby. We prayed about it for a while before we agreed. I don’t want you to think—”

“You were trying to steal my grandbaby.” Kelly laughed. “I know that, Sadie. In my heart, I know you and Cam are the best parents for her baby. It just hurts me that she’s going to hurt. If she keeps the baby, she’ll hurt. If she gives the baby to you, she’ll hurt.”

“You’re absolutely right.”

Kelly pulled into the school’s parking lot. “Listen, I just pulled into work. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay.”

Kelly clicked her phone off, grabbed her purse and lunch, and walked into the school. She opened her classroom, walked inside, and turned on her computer. Several messages showed in her inbox. She clicked the first one. It was one of her fellow language arts teachers asking her if she was pregnant. The next was from the curriculum teacher asking if there was anything she could do to help Kelly. Kelly didn’t click the next. She shook her head.
Boy, word sure travels fast. It’s a good thing I talked to Harold last night. And I’m glad he went ahead and told the girls
.

Kelly walked to the whiteboard and wrote her bell ringer for the day. Ironically, her junior class students were reading
The Scarlet Letter
. Though there was no sin involved in Kelly being pregnant, it still felt a little weird for her and her daughter to be pregnant at the same time. And Kelly still felt a little old.

The bell rang, and Kelly mentally prepared herself for the questions that were sure to come from student after student as the day progressed. She walked to her desk to be sure her worksheets were ready for the day. As expected, Logan was the first student in the room.

“Hey, Mrs. Smith.” Logan dropped his books on the desk and walked toward Kelly.

“Hi, Logan. How was your three-day weekend?”

“It was good. My parents made us drive to Pennsylvania to visit my grandparents. Kind of boring, but it was okay.”

“That’s good.” Kelly arranged the worksheets on her desk in order that she would need them.

“Can I ask you a question, Mrs. Smith?”

Oh boy, here it comes
. “Sure. Go ahead.”

“I heard you’re pregnant. Is that true?”

Kelly let out a long breath. “Yep. It’s true.”

“Cool.” Logan nodded. “My mom’s having a baby next month.”

“Really?” Kelly peered at Logan. “How old is your mother?” She shook her head. “I mean, it doesn’t matter….”

“It’s okay. My mom’s forty-three. She said the little guy was a bit of a surprise.”

“Oh.” Kelly’s mind raced. She felt so old, so awkward having a baby at thirty-eight. Of course, Logan’s mom wasn’t having a baby the same time as her daughter.

“Yeah. It was a little weird because my older brother’s already married with a kid. So his kid will be older than her uncle.”

“Really?” Kelly drank in the information. Maybe she and Zoey weren’t such an anomaly after all. The second bell rang and Kelly motioned toward Logan’s seat. “It was nice talking to you, Logan, but we better start class.”

Kelly walked toward the front of the room.
Thanks for that, God. I needed to know that someone else is going through close to the same thing as me. She looked at her class, stopping at Logan. Maybe I should call Logan’s mom today, and tell her how much I enjoy having him in class
.

Harold could hardly wait for the nurse to call them back to the room. He gripped Kelly’s hand in his. He couldn’t wait to find out her due date. Kelly said they might even be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat. Harold had never heard a baby’s heartbeat—well, except Zoey’s baby, but this would be his baby.

He couldn’t believe the emotions he felt over Kelly’s pregnancy. He wanted to protect her, to make sure she ate properly, rested properly. He didn’t want her to clean the bathrooms for fear the fumes would be too strong. Brittany had complained awhile about it, but he’d held firm that she, he, and Candy would take turns cleaning the bathrooms.