For Better or Worse (10 page)

She looked down at her wedding dress. This was the end to her perfect day. In moments, she was supposed to get in a car with the man she loved and spend her first night with him as husband and wife. Then she was to get up and go on a honeymoon, spend a full week away from her children. And this was her parting news.

She looked at her daughter, broken and devastated. Pity and sorrow enveloped Kelly.
She has no idea how this will change her life. God, will this be enough? Will she finally surrender?
Kelly shook her head.
A baby? How would they handle a baby?

Zoey’s crying escalated. “I’m sorry, Mom. I told Jamie. He doesn’t care. I haven’t seen him since I told him. I don’t even know where he is.”

Kelly sucked in a deep breath. She didn’t even know who Jamie was. Dreams of Zoey’s wedding, of her future, seemed to evaporate before Kelly’s eyes. Kelly wrapped her arms around her child. God would see them through this. He’d seen her through so much in her life. This wasn’t too much for them. “It’s okay, Zoey.”

“I know you’re mad at me.”

Mad? No. Disappointed? Well, yes. Overcome with sorrow? Absolutely. I’m desperately hurt for her. So hurt
.

As her own pain threatened to take over her body, Kelly held Zoey tighter. “I’m not mad at you. I’m sorry for you that you’ll have to go through this so young. But I’m not mad at you. I love you, and God can work
all
things together for His good.”

Believe what you just said, Kelly
, she inwardly encouraged herself. Taking a deep breath, she begged God to fill her with a peace beyond her understanding. Her thoughts calmed, and she knew God would see them through this, just as He’d seen them through Tim’s death.

Zoey snuffed, and Kelly marveled that her daughter hadn’t thrown a fit at the mention of God. “I am sorry, Mom.”

Kelly placed her hands against Zoey’s cheeks. “Listen to me, child. We’ll get through this. We just have to trust God, and that doesn’t mean it will be easy.”

Zoey nodded.

“I think we’re all set.” Harold’s voice boomed down the hall.

Kelly’s mind raced. She couldn’t leave now. She needed to call a doctor, find out about this Jamie, make sure everything was all right. “Harold, I don’t think—”

“Try to have a good time, Mom.” Zoey hugged Kelly, and Kelly relished her daughter’s touch. Zoey whispered, “Don’t say anything right now. Go on your honeymoon.”

Kelly touched Zoey’s arm, keeping her voice loud enough for Zoey alone to hear. “I don’t think I can go now.”

“Yes, you can. You need to. I’ve been okay for two months.”

“Two months?”

Tears brimmed Zoey’s eyes. “I just couldn’t tell you. I was so embarrassed.”

Kelly exhaled a long breath. She studied her daughter, then looked back at Harold.

“Please go, Mom.” Zoey nudged her toward the door.

Inwardly torn, she knew they would need this vacation, as things would change drastically sooner than they’d all believe. Kelly nodded and looked back at Zoey. “It’s going to be okay. Try not to worry.” She kissed Zoey’s forehead. “We’ll talk when I get back.”

Zoey nodded and left the room.

“Is everything all right?” Harold furrowed his brows.

She shook her head. She didn’t want to do anything to make him worry during their trip. They’d have plenty to think about when they got home.

Harold shoved the boogie board beneath his arm and walked farther out into the ocean. Hawaii was more beautiful than he would have ever imagined. He’d only been to the beaches in Delaware, but the water around this state was crystal clear. It reminded him of ice cubes, only hot. He didn’t have the words to describe how pretty this place was.

He turned his head, peeking back at his bride of only five days. Kelly would have the words to describe this place—his wife, Mrs. Kelly Smith. He loved the thought of her being his wife. The past five days had been as close to heaven as he could ever imagine. The ocean. Kelly’s soft dark hair. The palm trees. Kelly’s soft skin. The warm air. Kelly’s sweet whispers of love. He’d never been so happy.

With ocean water up to his waist, Harold turned and pushed the boogie board in front of him. The next good wave he could see coming, he’d jump, chest first, onto the board and ride in on the wave. Boogie boarding was nowhere near as strenuous as surfing, but for a guy who would probably never visit Hawaii again, unless it was for a second honeymoon with his bride, boogie boarding was good enough.

He looked back toward the beach. Kelly sat in a beach chair with a magazine in one hand and a water bottle in the other. She looked absolutely adorable in Brittany’s oversized white sunglasses. Her middle daughter had left a note in the suitcase telling her mom she needed to look cool in Hawaii. The black-and-white polka dot bathing suit Sadie packed looked awfully good on her as well.

Harold waved at her, and Kelly dropped the magazine and waved back. The smile she graced him with was full and beautiful, and Harold knew he was blessed.

A good wave pushed him from behind, and Harold turned, noting another one coming. He jumped on to the boogie board, allowing the water to push his oversized frame forward toward the beach.

What a rush! He pushed off the board once the wave had died. Cradling the board beneath his arm, he walked toward Kelly and his lounge chair. He’d been boarding for a while and needed a break. At the very least, he needed a drink of water. When he reached Kelly, he realized she was on the cell phone. Again.

He dropped the board and fell into the chair. After opening the cooler, he grabbed a water bottle, opened it, and took a long drink. Kelly had spent a lot of time on the phone since they’d gotten to Hawaii. She’d spent a lot of time on the phone before and after their flight and even at the Hotel Dupont in Wilmington.

Maybe that’s normal for a mom. He’d expected her to talk with the girls once, twice, maybe even three times per day while they were gone. He knew she would enjoy the time with him, but he knew she’d miss the girls, and they would miss her. But it seemed she talked to them more like ten times a day. Literally. Like every two hours.

Harold stuck the bottle back in the cooler and leaned back in the chair. He folded his hands behind his head and exhaled a deep breath. The funny thing was most of the time she was on the phone with Zoey. It seemed like all of a sudden, since Kelly left Delaware for ten days, Zoey needed her mother almost every minute.

Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe the teen will be ready to straighten up. Maybe she’ll turn back to God. In Harold’s experience with the teenager, he’d never witnessed her living for the Lord. Kelly and Cam often talked about Zoey’s zeal for the Lord and telling her friends about Christ before her father’s death. But that had been three years ago. All Harold had known was sullenness, darkness, and rebellion.

And yet, he cared deeply for the girl. It seemed an odd thing to him. He wondered when he first started dating Kelly how he would handle her kids. It wasn’t as if he had his own kids to have given him some experience. He didn’t even have any brothers or sisters. He’d had zilch experience with people under the age of adulthood, well, except the ones he ran into on heating, cooling, or plumbing jobs. Then he was often pulling toy cars and miniature doll heads out of the toilet.

But when he met Kelly and he saw that his feelings for her were growing serious, he hit the carpet, asking God to show him how to be a good male influence on those girls, to show him how to love them. It had been a true miracle, in his eyes anyway, because Harold did love them as if he’d been their father all along.

Kelly hung up the phone and put it in a bright yellow bag that was covered in big pink flowers. She sighed ever so slightly, but Harold still heard it. He studied his new wife. “How’s everything at home?”

She smiled at him, the bright, beautiful smile that drew him each time she did it. “It’s good.”

But he knew something was wrong. Her eyes held just a hint of worry behind them. They had since they’d left the reception. Since he’d returned from checking on the car while she talked with Zoey. She’d assured him that Zoey’s tears that day were just the same old stuff, but he had the nudging feeling that wasn’t the complete truth.

“You know I haven’t talked to the girls but once a day since we left. Do you mind if I call them?”

Kelly shrugged. “Sure.” She pulled the phone out of her bag and handed it to him. “They’d probably like that.”

Harold turned on the phone and noticed that almost every call to and from Kelly’s cell was with Zoey’s phone. He pushed the H
OME
number and Candy picked up the line.

“Hey, Squirt.”

“Harold!” she squealed. “Have you gotten me a souvenir yet?”

Harold laughed. He knew that would be Candy’s first thought. “We’ve gotten you one thing, but we’re going to get you something else when we go shopping later.”

“I get two things!” Candy yelled. “Brittany, I get two souvenirs from Hawaii.” Her voice took on a bragging lilt, and Harold couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Brittany and Candy fought over everything, and when Kelly reminded them they’d be friends one day and the girls vehemently denied it, Kelly would roll her eyes and say she was praying against them.

Brittany’s voice suddenly sang over the line. “Hey, Harold. Are you having fun?”

Harold could hear Candy whining in the background at her grandmother that Brittany had stolen the phone from her. “Your mom and I are having a blast. Hawaii is gorgeous.” He turned and winked at Kelly. “But nowhere near as pretty as your mom.”

“Ew, gross, Harold.”

The voice changed on the line again. This time it was Candy again. “What did you say? What’s gross?”

Harold laughed. “You’ll have to ask your sister. Is Zoey there, too?”

“Yeah. Just a sec.” Her voice muffled as she started yelling for Zoey.

A moment later Zoey’s voice sounded over the line. “Hi, Harold.”

“Hey. How’s it going?” “Fine.”

Harold pinched his lips. Zoey sounded different. Less edgy. Less angry. Less confrontational. “So, what do you want from Hawaii?”

“You don’t have to get me anything. I’m fine.”

Kelly poked his arm and motioned for him to let her have the phone. “Well, your mom wants to talk with you. Tell the girls I said bye.”

He handed the phone to Kelly. Part of him wanted to tell the girls he loved them, but it still felt funny to say it. Kelly had been the first woman he’d ever said the words to. He’d barely said them to his parents before they died. He just wasn’t good with words and all that. He was a man of action. A man who showed the people he cared about how he felt through doing things for them.

But he’d also learned from Kelly that girls like to hear nice things, too. The girls’ daddy had died. He was the only one they’d get to have here on earth. If they let him, he’d be the one to walk them down the aisle, to hand them over to a husband, as Kelly’s dad had handed her over to him. He wanted to be a good father to them.
Lord, help me
.

Peace surrounded him. Now that he and Kelly were married, things would settle down. He’d have time to learn to be a good father figure. The girls were handfuls, but they were still young. Things would only get easier.

How am I going to tell Harold about this?
Kelly stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked like a woman who’d spent the last several days sunning on the beach and enjoying time alone with her new husband. Her skin was sun-kissed, making her blue eyes sparkle along with the diamond stud earrings and diamond pendant necklace. The white sundress Sadie had packed for her was one of the prettiest Kelly had ever seen and complimented her shape in all the right places. Her sister-in-law was a fashion whiz, and Kelly determined she’d never again go shopping without her.

But looks can be deceiving. And she had no idea how Harold would respond when she told him the truth about Zoey. She, herself, still didn’t know how to respond. It was true her daughter seemed broken, but Kelly couldn’t tell if it was from repentance or from the fact that she got caught.

Kelly closed her eyes and gripped the edge of the sink with both hands. “Oh Jesus, I’m not ready for this.” Kelly peered back at her reflection. “And Zoey really isn’t ready.”

She flopped onto the toilet seat cover. “And Harold isn’t going to be ready.” Leaning forward, she placed her elbows on her legs and rested her forehead in her hands. “I never should have married Harold. I was being so selfish.”

Raising teenagers had proven to be the most difficult thing Kelly had ever experienced. When Tim died the challenges seemed to have tripled. She loved her girls, wouldn’t change a moment with them. She wouldn’t even change the different quirks that made each one a unique young lady. But life would be so much easier if all of them wanted to live their lives in obedience to God and to their mother.

“That would be a perfect world,” she mumbled and then chuckled at herself. “I wasn’t the easiest teenager for my mom and dad to live through, either.”

She sobered and exhaled a deep breath. “But I was the biological child of both my mother and father. I’ve married a wonderful man and forced him into the chaos I’m living in.”