Fool Me Once (6 page)

“Oh come on! It isn’t very likely is it?” Eva blanched at the thought. But as much as she hated to admit it, James was right. She couldn’t keep hiding. She had been running and hiding too long from life already. She would have to face him again some day, might as well get it over with.

“Which one is he?” The always-curious James asked.

“Well if you must know,” she answered with a sigh “he is the one standing by the French doors leading to the pool.”

“Wow! He is hot! I sure wish he was swinging my way.” Looking half-hopeful, half-joking he continued.” Is he? Should I go introduce myself to him before that blonde totally changes his sexual orientation?”

Eva laughed and hit him with a towel, and was just about to answer his question when his words registered.

“What do you mean a blonde? He was alone when I looked.”

“Oh, there is this sexy looking blonde dancing with him, and they look pretty cozy. Guess that answers my questions. More’s the pity, I could see myself with a man like that.”

In her hurry to see with her own eyes what James was talking about, she tripped on her own foot and fell causing quite a stir. Faces, startled, looked up from their plates or from the dance floor and all gazes went, at once, to the object of the ruckus, Eva who was sprawled on the floor. She quickly got up, smoothed her straight black skirt and to cover her embarrassment, curtsied to all. She smiled as the crowd applauded, wishing she were anywhere but here, maybe somewhere very deep and dark. Her cheeks burning she turned towards the French doors expecting to see Jake’s mocking smile. Instead she saw the blonde James had been talking of. She felt the air rush out of her lungs, as if someone had punched her really hard in the stomach. The woman was indeed very beautiful; she always had been. What a pitiful world she found herself in, that the man she had once lost was dating the woman who caused her, well in a roundabout way, to lose that man. Shelley Harrison. She swallowed the self-pitying moan that rose up in her throat.

“Damn, damn, damn!” she muttered under her breath.

Jake had been looking at her from the French doors, saw her see him, and saw her go in the back room, saw her come out and tripped over her own feet. He smiled, and then shook his head. She may look adorable and innocent, when red with embarrassment, but he knew better. He shook his head, disgusted with himself. How could he still find himself attracted to her when he knew what kind of person she truly was? Eight years had made no difference. He rubbed his forehead; a headache was lurking behind. He sighed, well as long as he kept his heart uninvolved, his lust he could deal with. In fact he was with Shelley tonight, she was beautiful and had let him know in no uncertain terms that he could have her tonight if he so desired. Still, he walked to the buffet table and up to Eva.

“Well, well, well. Look who’s here.” He said

Startled, Eva turned around and bumped against his hard chest. Against her will, her pulse accelerated. She quickly moved away from him, trying to shield herself against the flash of desire that took her by surprise. She lifted her eyes to his, forcing herself to close her mouth and blank her eyes as she experienced longing like never before. She would have done anything at that moment, just so he would touch her again, but then he winked at her and she came back to her senses. She snapped out of her trance, and was quickly filled with anger and shame.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed under her breath.

“Isn’t this the cold buffet?”

“You know it is!” She glared at him.

“Then obviously, I am having a snack.”

Argh, how she wanted to slap the smile off his face. Why did he always make her act so…so… she couldn’t find a word to adequately describe the childish, stupid way she was acting.

“Oh” she said in frustration, unable to find anything else more intelligent or appropriate to say. All rational thoughts had left her mind.

“Now, if you will please forgive me, I have to go back to a woman worthy of my time.” He added in a tone that told her he remembered the words she had said to him that night, a lifetime ago, yesterday…the arrogant bastard! She felt her hand grab for a glass on a nearby table and threw the content in his smirking face.

What the hell had just happened here? He looked at Eva and saw the telltale empty glass still clutched in her fist. The little bitch!

Seeing the water droplets running down his face, her hands flew to her mouth, and her eyes grew wide in shock. She couldn’t believe she’d just done that. His face remained blank, but his eyes burned through hers, promising retribution. He grabbed her arm and half-dragged her in the back room. Unwilling to aggravate the situation, she followed him. Once inside, she disengaged herself from him.

“Let go of me, you…you caveman!” Her eyes shone in anger, her chest rising fast.

“I am the caveman? Let me remind you that you are the one who assaulted me, twice! First, you slapped me, and then empty a glass of water on my head. What the hell is your problem?”

“My problem? MY problem? I am not the one who came back into town you know. I am not the one who was a total A- hole eight years ago. You are a heartless bastard, and let it be said that both time I allegedly assaulted you, you provoked me into it.” She said her voice rising with anger.

“Oh I provoked you?” He asked cool and controlled.

“Yes! Damn you, you did!” Eva had the horrible feeling she was just about to cry. Swallowing her tears, she forced herself to look at him.” Now, get the hell out!”

“Eva, you know better then to provoke me, you know what happens if you do. I have to shut you up.” He drawled.

“Shut me up?” she asked incredulously.” You can’t just shut me up, this…”

Her words got lost as he grabbed her and claimed her lips in a punishing kiss, She swore she meant to resist. She did not want to kiss him, really she didn’t…but it felt so good. She hadn’t felt so alive in so long. Against her will, heat started to build inside her. Sighing she gave up any ideas of resistance and melted in his arms. Sensing her surrender, Jake softened the kiss. Eva empty of all rational thoughts responded passionately.

God! She felt so good in his arms, so pliant, so soft. Her lips tasted of heaven and raspberries, her skin felt like velvet, he wanted her more then he had ever wanted another woman. He never wanted to stop, never wanted to let her go. The scariest part though, was that that thought no longer scared him.

A discreet cough slowly brought them back to reality. Jake looked up and saw James looking shocked and somewhat uncomfortable. He looked down and saw that Eva was flushed, either with excitement or embarrassment, he couldn’t tell. He also saw a flicker of what he had seen in her eyes so long ago, when she used to look at him. He couldn’t let that happen. She had to keep on hating him; he had to keep on blaming her. She had reinforced his beliefs about love that long ago winter night, he couldn’t trust her, didn’t want to trust her. He wasn’t going to let down his guards, because of a single little sign of…of…nothing! Out of his daze and madness he pushed her out of his arms.

“So hmmm, I guess he isn’t huh?” At those words, James laughed awkwardly and went back into the party room.

“Is that another one of your conquest?” Jake’s voice was daunting.

“Get the hell out of my face, and out of my life Jake. I swear…” He interrupted her. He was good at that. He had to hurt her, had to say the words he knew were true out loud because if he didn’t, he would forget what had happened between them and he couldn’t afford to let that happen.

“Still very much hot tempered are you? But I know you still want me. Ironic isn’t it? You say you hate me, yet I kiss you and you melt. Don’t you think it’s a tiny bit too late for your cries of outrage? Need I remind you how you were in my arms only a minute ago? You know if I chose I could take you, only I don’t choose. Is that what makes you so angry Unable to accept I have rejected you twice already? A first for you?” He laughed bitterly.

“Of all the things you’ve said, I think this is the most despicable one. I must have been really naïve and stupid to ever be interested in you. My god, I kissed you back, sure I did. Why not? Maybe I was thinking of my lover while I was kissing you, of my many lovers! According to you, I am such a sexed individual. I could almost be called a nympho. You should just come out and say it like it is. Well…” she said with what she thought was a sexy smile, she wasn’t very good with those things. “With me wanting so many men, having so many desires, I cannot ever be content now, can I? I kissed you, you must understand, it had been at least 25 minutes since my last sexual encounter. I needed some, and I needed it right away, regardless of who it was. You conveniently fell into my grasp…how could I resist.” She looked at Jake, and with sudden anger flashing in her eyes. “It is all about you isn’t it? Must you always be right? The idea that you may have been wrong never crossed your mind; this being a rhetorical question of course. I already know your answer; you don’t need to say a thing. Now, I will say it for the last time, get out!” Her voice had lost all fight; she suddenly looked and sounded weary and exhausted.

For a second, but one only, she thought she saw a battle being fought within him, she thought she saw a flicker of confusion in his green eyes, but she dismissed the idea right away as wishful thinking, for after a blink, the flicker was lost and once again his eyes were cold and mocking.

“Lover huh? The guy that was here? He certainly seemed stricken enough. Anyway I bet you got lots of those, considering your ability to seduce. Ah, but I bet they don’t stay. After a couple of hot nights discovering your body, they start seeing the selfish, conniving heart hidden behind.”

She felt herself turn crimson as his eyes slowly moved up the length of her body. Taking in the long shapely legs encased in sheer black nylon, the slim waist and the high breast. He didn’t miss an inch, his eyes showed desire, but as soon as he got to her face, they went hard again. His hand reached for her cheek.

“The face of an angel, the body of a sinner and the mind of the devil.”

She stiffened and backed away.

“You are doing it again.” She said in a whisper.

Jake looked uncertain for a second.

“Speaking the truth straight to your face? Bah, don’t tell me there was never a moment in your life when someone told you the exact same thing I just said.”

She met his gaze unwavering.

“Yes I guess you are right. Someone did once. Eight years ago to be precise. An arrogant, disgusting jerk thought it was fun to toy with a young woman’s feelings. Contrary to what you may still believe today, I did not kiss Ben, not that night, not ever again. Ever heard of a man forcing himself on a girl, oh yes of course you would know, you are well versed in the subject. I never lied to you, I may have omitted a detail at some point but I didn’t lie, all I told you that night was true. I just wanted to spend time with the man I thought I loved.”

Come on! Did she think he would fall for that innocent act? He was not that naïve damn it! Was he?

“Don’t…”

“No! You will let me finish what I have to say, and then you may speak. Or best, you can just go away.”

She dismissed his attempt to talk with a raised hand.

“Instead of maybe trying to let me down easy, you insulted and threw accusation at me; accusations that were not founded. If you couldn’t handle a girl liking, loving you, you only had to say so. But no, you were too much of a coward to admit that there was more to me then you wanted to see.” At those words he flinched, she didn’t know how close she was to the truth.” I explained myself to you, told you the truth, yet you still refused to believe me. For months, I was devastated. Now I know it wasn’t because I loved you so much and all that b.s. No, now I know it was because I once again was made to believe I wasn’t woman enough, and because I was left with no answers, I was left to feel ashamed for something I hadn’t done. And that Jake, that really hurt. But I am all grown up now, not the little 18 year old you left crushed on her driveway. So you may try to hurt me and cut me as deeply as you did eight years ago, it might seem like fun to you, may make you feel like more of a man, but it wont work. Not anymore. I know I am a good person, and nothing you can say will ever change that. I hope that all the pain you have caused in you wake catches up to you.”

She watched as he had the decency to blanch slightly. He opened his mouth as if to speak but seemed to think better of it. His eyes searched her face. What he saw were deep blue eyes, filled with painful memories and tears, cheeks that were flushed, a full mouth swollen by his bruising kiss, and shoulders held high. But what his eyes were looking for he couldn’t find, couldn’t see the hardness and coldness he knew she was made of, instead he saw something he had never noticed before. His hands once again started to reach for her cheek, then suddenly dropped to his side as he abruptly turned and left back to the party.

He couldn’t let himself care, or even feel for the pain she went through because of him, the pain she said wanted to catch up with him. Little did she know, he was already feeling the pain; he had felt it for as long as he could remember. Plastering a smile on his face he went back to his date, Shelley. A woman he was sure he could never be hurt by, because he could never care for her, not on a more then just basic level anyway. He felt uneasy and ashamed for hurting Eva again today. He pushed the unwelcome feelings aside and pretended to have a blasted good time.