Fool For You (Made for Love Book 4) (61 page)

I’m jostled from my thoughts when I jerk in surprise at the feel of a gentle hand on my shoulder. The hand I have buried in Steven’s hair stills, and my grip around his little body tightens before I hear Carrie’s voice.

“Did he give you a hard time about going to sleep in his bed?”

“Oh,” I sigh, relieved and a little guilty. “No. This is my fault, entirely. I just wanted his company,” I reply, tilting my head back to smile up at her.

She returns my smile, her eyes drifting down to gaze at her son. The motherly expression on her face screams of her love, and the ache in my chest increases. I try my best to shove my feelings aside, shifting my focus as I look for Andrew.

“Did you guys have a nice time?”

“Yes,” she answers. I can hear the smile in her voice and my eyes look for hers once more. “It was nice to have my husband to myself for a few hours. He’s been working so hard, getting ready for this exhibition. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for him, and so very proud of all that he’s done to pull this together, but I’ll be glad when it’s behind us.”

“Hey, how was he?” asks Andy as he finally enters the room. When he spots Steven resting across my lap, he narrows his eyes at me. “Did he give you a hard time about going to sleep in his bed?”

I can’t help but giggle as I shake my head at him, amused by the echo of Carrie’s question.

“No. He was great. He fell asleep while we were watching TV. I didn’t want to move him.”

Andy nods as he bends down to scoop up his little man. “I’ll take him up and tuck him in. Thanks for watching him, Teddy.”

“Any time.”

He kisses his wife on the cheek in passing, telling her he’ll meet her upstairs, and she murmurs her reply before she comes to sit down beside me. “I know it’s getting late, but you don’t have to rush off, do you?”

“Um, no. I guess not,” I reply with a shrug. “Are you sure you don’t want to…?” I let my sentence trail off, feeling too embarrassed to finish it. Nevertheless, something tells me, so long as Steven is a sleep,
date night
isn’t over.

“I’ll only keep you for a minute,” she assures me with a soft laugh. “It’s just been a while since I’ve had a proper chat with you. We’ll have to get together for a coffee date soon. For now, though—while I have you—it would be remiss of me
not
to ask how things are going with you and Judah. So, how are things going with you and that tall glass of water?”

I sigh, leaning my head back against the couch cushion as I look up at the ceiling. It’s been almost three months since that man walked into my world and demanded my attention; almost three months since he so brazenly invited me into his bed. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would one day come to know him as intimately as I do now; that I would physically
ache
for him on the nights that I lay alone in my own bed. I would never have guessed that such a gorgeous man would doggedly pursue me, making me fall head-over-heels in love with him. In a matter of mere months, he’s changed my life completely, and I know it’ll never be the same.
I’ll
never be the same.

“He’s—” I start and then I stop, trying to think of how best to describe the man who holds my heart. “He’s
everything
, Carrie,” I whisper. “He’s everything I didn’t know he could be. Everything I didn’t know I wanted. Everything I didn’t know I needed.”

“How do you mean?” She shifts next to me, and I lift my head to see her as she faces me directly, offering me her undivided attention.

“He’s brilliant—honestly, his mind is intimidating in and of itself. He’s so good at what he does, at
everything
he does. I don’t know,” I mutter, shaking my head as I try and gather my thoughts. “It’s like he knows who he is and what he’s capable of. He’s confident in his identity and he owns it. He doesn’t pretend to be something or someone that he isn’t, so what he gives you is completely genuine.

“He’s not a particularly
soft
man. That’s not to say that he can’t be gentle, because he can be. He’s thoughtful and sweet in his own way, but definitely not like I thought I might one day want. What he gives me is better. I don’t know that I can explain it better than that. I just—he makes me feel things, incredible things, and I’m really happy, Carrie.
Really
happy.”

She smiles at me, reaching over to squeeze my knee affectionately. “Sounds to me like things are pretty serious.”

“Yeah,” I answer with a slight nod. “I mean, I think so.”

Carrie arches a questioning eyebrow at me before she asks, “You
think
so? You’re not sure?”

“Well…”

I love you.

Tell me again tomorrow.

“My feelings run a little deeper than his,” I admit.

“How can you be sure?”

I reach up to pinch my bottom lip between my fingers as I prepare myself for her possible reaction to my reality. Carrie is one of my closest friends. Like Andy and Geoff, she knows how resistant I’ve been to romantic relationships. She’s also older and wiser than me, with a marriage that’s still thriving after fifteen years. However she responds to my truth, I know already that I’ll take it to heart.

“Carrie,” I begin, dropping my hand back down into my lap. “I’m dangerously in love with him.”

She smiles at me brightly, squeezing my knee once more. “Dangerously?”

“Yes,” I reply with an enthusiastic nod. “I’m without a doubt that he’s ruined me for anyone else. And I know it’s only been a couple months, but I can’t help it. I care more deeply for him than I even knew I was capable.”

When she chuckles, I can’t help but smile—both amused and confused by her reaction.

“You gave him the cookie, didn’t you?”

I blush as a giggle bubbles out of me. “Shit. Is it that obvious?”

“I remember what I was like with Andrew when we were younger. I remember how much I cared for him before we started having sex—and then the sex came and I was a goner. And it’s not because the sex was mind blowing. It wasn’t. That came with practice. But the intimacy of it all knocked me on my ass, and I haven’t stopped loving him for a single moment.

“They say that men are physical beings, that once they have that physical connection with you,
then
their feelings take root. And I’m not saying that’s not true, I just mean to say that women aren’t that different. We might be ready to give our hearts away before the intimacy, but sex ties two people together. So I understand how you’re feeling, I do. Have you told him how you feel?”

“Yes.”

“But he hasn’t said it in return?”

“No.”

“Does that bother you?”

I shrug, unsure of my answer. I’ve thought about it a lot over the last few days. “I know he would never say it if he didn’t mean it. I also know that he’s been hurt in the past, which has totally skewed his opinion of love. But I won’t lie and say that I don’t hope one day he’ll reciprocate my feelings.”

“You know what I think?” she asks after a moment of silence.

“What?”

“So long as he treats you well, I think a man who stays by your side and doesn’t go running for the hills when it becomes known that your feelings run so deep is a man worth waiting for.”

“Yeah?” I ask, feeling instantly encouraged.

“Absolutely. Regardless of what he
isn’t
saying, his commitment to your relationship still means something. He cares about you enough to not be afraid of how you feel.”

Tell me again tomorrow
.

“You’re right,” I reply with a smile. “He isn’t afraid.”

“My advice? Enjoy the journey, Teddy. Happiness looks marvelous on you, and I know just by sitting next to you that your life is richer because of him. Wherever your relationship takes you, just enjoy it. There’s no rush. Honestly, no matter what anyone tells you, what you and Judah share is between you and Judah—
you
define it.
You
give life to it. Let it be and just enjoy one another. Whatever it is that the future has for the two of you, if it’s meant to pass, it will pass.”

“Thanks for saying that, Carrie. Your advice means a lot to me.”

“I’m here, you know? Always.”

“I know.” I lean over and wrap my arms around her, and she gives me a tight squeeze in return before we both let go.

“So what are you two up to this weekend?” she asks as she stands.

I follow her lead, and we both head for the front door.

“I’m not sure, yet. He’s usually got something up his sleeve, if he doesn’t have too much work to do.”

“Well, I hear the weather is supposed to be gorgeous. You two should get outside.”

“Yeah,” I reply, slipping my feet into my shoes before hooking my purse over my shoulder. “I’ll suggest it.”

“Thanks again for stepping in and watching Steven. I really needed tonight.”

“You’re welcome. I love that guy.”

“Me too,” she says with a wink.

We say our goodbyes and as I make my way to my car, I replay her words of advice in my head. The timing of our conversation couldn’t have been better. When I was out with Geoffrey the other night, I told him the same thing I told Carrie—while I want Judah to feel the same way about me that I feel about him, it’s okay that he doesn’t. For now, at least. And what Carrie said only makes me feel stronger in that conviction. The fact that Judah
wants
me to speak of my love, that means something. It’s a sign that how I feel
matters
to him.
I
matter to him.

I—Theodora Rose Fitzpatrick—mean something to him—Judah Danyl St. Michaels—and I refuse to take that for granted.

When I realize that I haven’t yet spoken those three larger-than-life words to him yet today, I’m filled with the urge to see him. It’s almost eleven o’clock at night, and I know I should go home and get some sleep, but I don’t care. I just want to see him—even if only for one moment. One kiss. I drive straight to his house, not even bothering to second guess myself, or even call him. When I pull into his driveway, I notice that it looks pretty dark inside, like maybe he’s already gone to sleep. I decide to call him instead of ringing the bell, just in case.

The phone rings four times, and just as disappointment begins to settle in my stomach, he answers.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Are you asleep?”

“No. Are you okay? It’s late.”

“I know. I just—could you come outside for a second?” I ask, opening my door and stepping out of my car.

“Are you here?”

“Yeah.”

He doesn’t say anything in response, and when I step up onto his porch, he opens the door. I lower my phone away from my ear at the sight of him. He’s in a pair of tan khakis, but he’s not wearing a shirt. I take him in, not at all surprised by the way my heart races just
looking
at him.

“What are you doing here, Teddy?” he asks, sounding a bit confused.

“I wanted to see you,” I murmur, taking a step toward him. “I’m not staying, I just—will you kiss me?”

He acts without pause, stepping outside and closing the gap between us before he grips the back of my neck, tilting my head up so that he might reach my lips. He kisses me firmly, but gently—
lovingly
—and I almost swoon. I slide my free hand around his waist and up his back, pressing my body against his as he massages my tongue with his own. He tastes like cookies and cream ice cream, and I swear, I would kiss him all night if I could.

When I can no longer ignore the ache between my legs, I pull my lips from his, sucking in a deep breath. I know that if he kisses me much longer, I’ll be too turned on to leave, and then neither of us will be able to get any sleep.

“I love you,” I breathe, gazing up into his dark grey eyes now hooded with lust. “That’s why I came by, to tell you that I love you.”

He stares down at me for a moment, his thumb tracing the side of my neck lightly before he presses a soft kiss against my lips.

“Tell me again tomorrow.”

“I will,” I whisper, forcing myself to take a step away from him.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah,” I answer, forcing another step back. “I should go.”

“You could
stay
.”

“I don’t have any of my things. Anyway, I’ll get to sleep an hour longer if I go home,” I say, only half teasing. “But I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes,” he replies, sliding his hands into his pockets as I continue my retreat.

“Oh, hey—do you think we could go for a hike on Saturday? I hear the weather is supposed to be nice. The leaves are changing, which is one of my favorite things, and I’d love to take some pictures.”

“Sure.”

Sure
.

One word of agreement, and my heart swells.

Just one word!

I’m definitely a goner.

“Goodnight, Judah.”

“Goodnight, Teddy.”