Fool for Love (Believe #2) (23 page)

He’s not worth the effort.

But I can’t let it lie, either.

“Don’t forget who owns the deed to your club, asshole,” I seethe. His laughter dies down immediately.

“Good. Suzy will be back on Thursday.” I don’t even bother saying goodnight before finishing the call. When I notice how late it is, I groan. Three am.

“I’m getting too old for this shit,” I grumble. I shake my head as I catch myself speaking aloud – again. Rubbing my eyes, I put my phone down on the counter and then set about turning off the lights. Rufus is snoring on my couch, and I push him slightly away so that I have room to lie down.

Hearing the door to the bathroom open behind me, I immediately shut my eyes. I have an overwhelming need to go to my waif, to lie down beside her and hold her all night, but I resist the temptation. I can’t afford to get attached, no matter how sweet she is. No matter how I secretly wish for the loneliness to dissipate for one night.

I can only enjoy her for the next couple of months. Once she leaves, that’ll be that.

My head listens and wants the same as I do.

It’s a shame my heart seems to have awakened without permission, because I fall asleep feeling a lot less bereft than I usually do.

M
Y PHONE RINGING WAKES
me from my exhausted sleep, and I groan as I reach out my hand to take it from my bedside table. I can’t have been asleep for long, and don’t bother checking the caller-ID before answering.

“’lo?” I mumble.

“Suzanne?” My mother’s voice greets me, and my eyes snap open.

“Mum?” I remove the blanket covering my head and sit up on my elbow, a sinking feeling in my tummy settling in.

“How are you?” she asks me. While she’s good at hiding her nerves, she isn’t as successful as usual.

“Well…tired, actually. It’s very early here.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I should have checked the time.”

“It’s okay…” I don’t know what to say. “So…is there a particular reason you called?”

The silence is deafening, but I can’t take it to heart. The last time we spoke, it didn’t exactly end well, and my soul bleeds when I remember the harsh words we exchanged.

“Oh, I…I guess I just wanted to hear your voice.” This side to my mother is completely new to me. She’s always been so confident, but aloof.

“When are you coming home?” she asks me. I sigh a little.

“You already know this, mother. In three months, just like I originally planned.”

“I see. You don’t think…” Her voice trails off, and her hesitancy makes me suspicious.

“Why should I? Have your feelings about my
‘abnormal lifestyle’
changed?” I spit out and I soldier on, not giving her the chance to answer. “Or have you conveniently forgotten that I’m adopted, and now all of a sudden have decided to be a real mother to me?”

“Suzanne!” Her gasp only spurs on my anger.

“What? Oh, no, I haven’t forgotten our last conversation, mother. Don’t tell me that you have?”

“Of course not,” she hisses.
There’s
the woman I know. “But I thought that we could at least have a civil conversation this time. I won’t tolerate that tone, missy.”

I snort. “Right, of course not. The mighty Alice Christensen doesn’t raise her voice, now, does she? Always keeping up appearances.”

“Suzanne, please. I’m sure that once you get that strange idea out of your head, you’ll realise how silly you are.”

I gasp, but look up once I see a sudden movement at the foot of my bed. Garrett is standing there, frown in place, and Rufus is up on his hind legs beside him, tongue lolling.

“Mother, I can’t talk right now,” I mutter and grit my teeth.

“Oh? Why not?”

I don’t care to explain the hotness standing before me right now. Garrett is only wearing his sweatpants, and as my lingering eyes follow every hard plane of his chest, my body heats up, despite the current situation.

“Hello?” My mother’s question breaks the spell I’m under.

“I’ll call you in a couple of days,” I tell her, but even I can hear the lie coating my words.

There are always lies following me around.

Before my mother can protest, I remove the phone from my ear and end the call.

“Who was that?” Garrett’s frown deepens. “From what I could hear, it sounded unpleasant – even though I couldn’t understand a word of what you were saying.”

Carefully, I place the phone on the table to my left and wet my lips.

“I’m sorry I woke you up.” Biding for time, I tuck the blankets covering me up to my chin and draw up my knees underneath them, closing my eyes. The mattress dips down, and I can feel the comforting warmth from Rufus as he leans his head into my side; I scratch his ears, and a deep rumble sounds from his throat.

I sense Garrett’s presence beside me before he speaks.

“Come on, Suzy. Who was it?”

His voice is unrelenting as usual.

“My mother. We aren’t…on the best of terms these days.” I keep my eyes shut tight, hoping he won’t ask more questions. At the same time, I want him to put his arms around me, tuck me close, and whisper in my ear that everything will be alright.

That he’s got me.

And that he’ll take care of me.

Only…he doesn’t.

“I see.”

We stay silent for the longest time, only interrupted by the soft pants coming from Rufus. There is a barrier between us now that I can’t seem to cross. Did I put it up? Or is this reality knocking on our door, giving way to something that Garrett can’t handle?

“We should get some sleep,” Garrett whispers. I nod, keeping my eyes down, and turn my back to him.

“Goodnight,” I whisper on a broken sob. I do my best to keep my heartache inside.

“Night, waif,” he whispers.

Then I’m alone.

Always alone. Always lonely.

I contemplate Suzy’s state of mind the next morning. I don’t know why the need to take away her worries has taken root, but I can’t deny that it has. I can’t say that I care for it – our relationship is meant to be purely physical, after all – but the way her doe-eyes looked as I left her last night calls to all my protective instincts. Instincts that have been lying dormant for so many years now.

It’s part of a Dom’s nature to take away the worries of his sub. To see to her needs in every way. But this is different somehow. Perhaps the reason is because we live together; we get to see facets to each other’s characters that would be absent in a regular Dom/sub relationship.

Contrary to what the tabloids believe, I’m not a complete asshole. I take care of what is mine.

I just do it my own way – discreetly.

It was strangely difficult to leave her alone last night, but I didn’t know how to comfort her. I’m emotionally crippled, and while I know I could have made her forget her woes for a while if I had initiated another bout of fucking, I’m not that big of an asshole. I knew that’s not what she needed at that moment. But that’s all there’s left of me now; the means to physical release.

For now, I’ll let Suzy’s secrets rest; but I’m determined to find out what has her in such turmoil. This thing we have may only be temporary, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t offer her my protection if she needs it.

I’m in the middle of making an omelette when a low growl from Rufus makes me pause, skillet in hand.

“What is it, boy?” I mumble as he jumps from the couch and trots towards the door. Frowning, I turn down the heat on the stove when I hear a sharp rap, followed by the doorbell. I glance to the bathroom at the other end of my apartment before I go to answer.

The two men on the other side make me freeze up, warning bells setting off in my head. I narrow my eyes at them.

“Can I help you?” I ask the shortest guy.

“Garrett Thompson?” He takes off his sunglasses and peers at me, a quizzical look in his eyes. His grey suit looks crumpled; a bit old, but it’s clean.

I nod. “Who are you?”

He takes out a badge, and I raise my eyes in surprise when I read it:
NYPD.

“I’m Detective Eddie McCloud. This is my partner, Detective Dennis Easton.
May we come in?”

I shrug and stand back from the door, indicating with my hand that they have my permission. I don’t exactly want them to get a glimpse of Suzy, but when New York’s finest knocks on your door, you don’t tell them to get lost.