Flying with the Rich and Famous: True Stories from the Flight Attendant who flew with them (11 page)

When we arrived in Teterboro, I was very relieved I had conquered the first-flight jitters. I managed to stumble through the trip without any major catastrophes. It was, in fact, very smooth, and I quite enjoyed myself. I had served teriyaki chicken skewers over rice, which is hard to screw up, although I didn’t
know that at the time, plus I only had two passengers and the two pilots. Mr. Milken thanked me profusely and said he was delighted with my service and would look forward to our next flight together. He and I both!

After the passengers departed, we were to dead head (to reposition aircraft with no passengers onboard) to Washington, D.C. We were given an unbelievable departure routing right over the New York skyline. The view was incredible. I had never seen New York from such an angle and the sight of all the towers and bridges was breathtaking. I put a favorite CD on the stereo and was singing along and thinking,
Wow!
I am so lucky. No one could possibly understand what I’m feeling right now. It was so perfect, so unique, and so surreal. I couldn’t believe that I had accomplished and even surpassed my dream. Even today, this memory gives me goose bumps; and it’s a unique memory because very few people can relate to such an experience.

As we were descending into DC, the sun was setting and
creating a striking backdrop. There I was with the unreal opportunity to see the monuments and capital city in all its grandeur from such an unusual vantage point. Thus began my first sightseeing expedition into our nation’s capital. We only had one night in DC, but I made the most of it, arising early the next day to get to the Vietnam Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial, and Washington Monument.

We departed that evening for our return flight. I served a meal that was a little more risky, pulled it off and gained some much needed confidence. Mr. Milken and I had a very nice little chat on the way back, mainly about me, which I thought was considerate. I found him easy to talk to, personable, quick, and sharp. I discovered I rather liked this Michael Milken character. I never saw him again, but I can certainly understand why people get “taken” by these types of men.

AN IPO FLIGHT

While I was still breaking into flying private jets, I had
some experience but needed to build a larger repertoire of flight departments in order to make a decent living. I received a call for a charter out of Houston, Texas. We were to deadhead the airplane from Van Nuys to Houston in order to reposition. I had no idea who my passengers were or where exactly we were going. Another unknown journey lay ahead and I was very much looking forward to it.

This charter turned out to be an IPO (initial public offering) flight. I did not know what to expect, but after this excursion, I jumped at the opportunity to fly IPOs in the future. The passengers were keyed up in anticipation of all the money they were going to make—they were truly happy campers. We flew from Houston to New York, Washington, DC, and New Orleans and all over everywhere, in and out of Houston for days, until the airplane had to return to home base for scheduled maintenance. The IPO was not finalized, so the chief passenger searched for another airplane, found one, and asked if I could
stay as the flight attendant and see his IPO through to the end. Who was I to say no? I could smell a large paycheck and a large tip! I ended up working on four different airplanes for three weeks and living out of the Marriott Hotel in Houston. I had to go shopping to purchase more clothes and a bathing suit because we took a side excursion to Manzanillo, Mexico, for a little R&R. When we returned to Houston it started all over again. I became very familiar with Houston and New Orleans.

When they finally concluded their business and exhausted me, I was sent packing with a much-hoped-for large tip. I immediately got a ride to the commercial side of the airport and hopped on the first flight heading west. There was a flight to Phoenix about to depart and I took that instead of waiting for a nonstop to Orange County (Santa Ana). I phoned my father and asked him to find me a flight from Phoenix to Santa Ana while I was in the air. That’s how anxious I was to get home. When I landed, I was paged in the airport—you know The Voice, not,
the-curb-is-for-immediate-loading-and-off-loading voice, but the Patty Hairabedian, (maiden name), please-pick-up-the-white-courtesy-telephone voice. My father was on the line with my next flight information. I was almost home.

MY CHOSEN CAREER AND RELATIONSHIPS

When I arrived, one of my boyfriends was waiting for me with flowers. Boyfriends were never high on my priority list; flying was everything. This career is tough on relationships, for sure. Never knowing whether you’re coming or going makes it hard to facilitate a healthy bond. Plus, not spending that much time with one another, even though you’ve been together for a while, keeps your relationship in its infancy. You think you know someone but you only see the best side of them, because before things have a chance to digress, you are gone. So what you might perceive to be a great relationship is just a temporary arrangement!

One time, the wind gods were favorable to us while
returning to Long Beach from Narita, Japan. Instead of stopping in Anchorage, Alaska, for fuel, as usual, we made it all the way to Seattle, Washington, therefore, cutting off a hefty few hours of flight time. When I got to the house I shared with my boyfriend, I put the key in the door only to see his ex-girlfriend walking down the stairs in my robe!

Trust is something you need in a relationship. If I’m in another country, the boyfriends have free reign to do whatever they want. There’s no way you can police them from another continent. Of course, this works both ways!

Another time, I was dating a drummer in a band. When I returned, I would often go to where he was playing. One night he told me not to come. With that, I started making phone calls and found out I had been replaced while I was in New York!

I also think my being a flight attendant contributed to my naiveté in the dating world. Since I really never got to know anyone that closely, I had delusions of grandeur. It was almost
like living a fantasy, never knowing what their deep core truths were. I do wonder what would have happened if I had chosen a different career, although I know I’d have never done that.

My career affected my girlfriends too. On a lovely summer day I had a flight to Truckee, Nevada. We were to drop the passengers in Truckee and then fly back to home base and do the same trip to pick the passengers up four days later. My best friend has a vacation home in Lake Tahoe about twenty minutes from the Truckee airport. I was going to get off in Truckee and stay with my friend, then meet the plane in Truckee for the return.

When we got to Truckee, they had closed the airport because a small plane had crashed on landing just before us. We were diverted to Reno. I had no way of contacting my girlfriend until we arrived in Reno.

When she got to Truckee to pick me up, someone told her an airplane had crashed, and it wasn’t a good outcome. She
demanded to know if it was my plane, but no one could give her any answers. Finally she figured out it wasn’t a jet but a light plane, and she guessed I must have gone to Reno. We arrived in Reno and I was worried, trying to call her. Then I heard this familiar voice over the speaker in the FBO. It was her at the gate, asking to be let onto the tarmac.

I couldn’t believe she found me: 1. in Reno 2. at the airport in Reno—many FBOs are difficult to find from the street, and 3. in record speed. When I ran to greet her, she jumped out of her car and slapped me across the face! She’d been crying hysterically “I thought you died. How dare you scare me like that!” It was such a genuine moment that I started crying with her. Even the pilots were moved, they were both staring with their jaws on the ground. Did I mention that she is hot too?

Bottom line is this: relationships are definitely a challenge in this business and I learned some tough lessons. I did, however, bring them back some amazing presents!

Chapter 4: What Goes Up Must Come Down

Celebrity Gossip Tidbits

BARBARA WALTERS

Barbara Walters, the first female co-anchor on network news and currently executive producer of the television morning talk show
The View
, was another frequent passenger of mine. Ms. Walters spent the majority of her flights with me frantically writing. Wads of crumpled paper would surround her. When we could, we would keep the papers to unfold later, hoping for juicy gossip or something noteworthy. The only problem was that we couldn’t read her handwriting. It’s atrocious! Or maybe she knew we were reading it?

DUSTIN HOFFMAN

Dustin Hoffman was traveling in a stateroom with his wife and three children. They were a pleasant, happy, and good-looking family. The youngest of the three children had a sippy
cup and it was filled with grape juice. As we got ready for takeoff, the child started to feel queasy and threw up grape juice all over the pink carpet. Dustin Hoffman was extremely apologetic and helped us clean it up. He was very gracious and kind while doing so. At the end of the flight he gave one of the flight attendants a note that read: “Give yourself a raise, because you are the best flight attendants I have ever had.” Thank you, kind sir.

BETTE DAVIS

Bette Davis was a revered lifelong movie star. She was nominated for ten Academy Awards and won twice. She was perhaps best known for playing the disturbed Jane in
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
Bette Davis was in a stateroom and was traveling with an assistant. They were rehearsing lines for her last film,
The Whales of August
.

It was an uneventful flight that became slightly turbulent. The pilots turned on the “fasten seat belt” sign. One of our flight attendants went into Ms. Davis’ stateroom to make sure she had
belted herself in. He discovered she hadn’t and said to her it was time to fasten up. Ms. Davis interrupted him and said, “Allow me.” Then very loudly, “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night,”—her famous line from the movie
All About Eve
! Never has a flight attendant been more moved, he talked about that for weeks!

JOHNNY CARSON

Johnny Carson did not say “boo” to me, he never said anything at all to me. Even when spoken to, he did not respond. He spent the entire flight in “la-la” land, staring off into space. I would look at him but his wife would answer (I don’t know which wife this was). His wife answered every single question on a five hour flight. Johnny never even looked at me. It was very, very odd and I have no explanation for it whatsoever.

JAMES GARNER and JASON PRIESTLY

When I was flying on a Gulfstream for a private corporation, we would often hit the Indy circuit—Indianapolis
Racing League. We would usually leave Southern California on Thursday morning and return home the Sunday after the race. On the Sunday flights, I would typically order extra catering because my boss had a tendency to bring more people with him to the airplane that had not been on the outbound flight. James Garner and Jason Priestley, both car-racing enthusiasts would often hitch a ride home with us.

James Garner—“Jim Rockford” of
The Rockford Files
and star of
The Notebook
—was always early. He was usually the first one to the airplane. He would always pick an inconspicuous seat away from the core of the “party.” He was quiet, polite, sort of tranquil, and gracious as can be. He never cared what he ate and when asked, always answered, “Whatever you have the most of.” I always thought he must be an excellent husband and father. It seemed like nothing was about him, even though he could have easily made everything about him.

Speaking of Indy, do you know how many private jets are on the ground during the Indianapolis 500? When you are
departing on the Sunday after the race (with everyone else) it is a chaotic mess. The airplanes are lined up wing to wing like a sea of “bugs”. Finding yours is always challenging! Once, I walked around the tarmac for over thirty minutes looking for my airplane. I finally went back to the FBO, found a ramper (they tow, fuel, help with luggage, etc.) and hitched a ride on a golf cart until we found it. Actually, this happens frequently with sport events of this magnitude. Whether the Super Bowl, the Masters, the Olympics, the World Series or any other major event, the FBO’s at the nearest airport will be saturated with private jets. It’s usually the only time I get to see other flight attendants that the pilots have told me about, but I had never met – we are always in the air! But it’s also difficult to get your dishes back, get your catering, get your perishables out of the refrigerator, get fuel and get the heck out of there. Like I said - chaotic mess.

Since, I’m digressing, let’s go the opposite way. One time we dropped our passengers at a different airport then flew to our
home base and taxied to the hangar. But no one was there and the hangar was locked. They forgot about us! We were locked in the airport. We could not get into the hangar or our cars. We were staring at our cars on the opposite side of a very large and formidable fence. We could not climb over, we could not go around, we were stuck
inside
the airport. I was going to see “Chicago” play live that night with my dear friends and I was not going be late. I am never late.

We didn’t know what to do, so we started making cocktails. If we had an APU: auxiliary power unit, we would have hooked up ground power and turned on music and lights as well, but that was locked in the hangar. This is also known as an “APU party”. Which we do sometimes while cleaning the aircraft after landing.

We called all the FBOs on the field but they were of no use to us, except for laughing at our predicament. Finally we got a hold of airport security who arrived to let us out but not without a snicker and a chuckle. And the jet had to sit outside all night,
poor baby.

One time we were taxing in and there was all this activity in the hangar. Somebody came rushing out and told us to kill the engines, we were ruining their shot.
“What?”
“
What the hell you talking about?”
The pilots killed the engines and we peered out the front windshield to see what was going on. There was a film crew in there and they were shooting a scene from a television show. Well, that was great, but I had dishes to do and an airplane to clean – so get the heck out of my way.