Flawfully Wedded Wives (25 page)

—
Lawson Kerry Banks

 

“Lord, I know that man looks at the outward appearance, but you look at the heart,” prayed Lawson. “And in my heart, I've sinned against you, my husband, and his son. I've said I forgive Garrett, but I haven't in my heart. I can't keep living like this or forcing my husband to live this way.

God I love my husband enough to stay, but I also love him enough to let him go. Lord, you said if anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask for it. I pray that you give us both the peace and wisdom that only comes from you, and keep your hand on this family as we get through this situation. In Jesus's name. Amen.”

Lawson heard Garrett's car pull up into the garage as she finished her prayer. It was Friday, so in all likelihood, he'd have Simon with him.

Garrett unlocked the door and entered the kitchen, toting Simon in his arms. “What's up, sexy?”

“A lot, actually,” she replied. “Do you have a minute? There's something I need to talk to you about.”

“Give me a minute to put Simon down. He was sneezing and kind of fussy in the car. I don't think he's feeling too good.”

Garrett trekked to Reginell's room, which had been turned into Simon's nursery, and then returned to the kitchen, sitting down at the table across from his wife.

“I didn't see Namon back there. Where's he at?”

“He took Kenny to a basketball game at his school. They're hanging out at Kina's hotel afterward.”

“That was nice of him.”

“I have some good news,” announced Lawson. “A school accepted my application. I was offered an administrative internship.”

“Congratulations, baby! Are you doing it at your school or one of the other ones around here?”

“No, it's not in Chatham County. The school is in Jones County.”

He was confounded. “In Gray?”

“Yes.”

“That's quite a commute.”

“Yeah, I know. Three hours, to be exact.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I'm going to accept it,” stated Lawson. “It's a requirement to complete my degree.”

“But it's not a requirement that you do it three hours away. What about us? How is this going to work?”

“The shadowing lasts from January until April. I'll be moving up there until I finish.”

“Moving? So I don't have a say in this?”

“You can protest, but I believe we both know we could use the time apart. Anyway, the internship doesn't start for another month. Namon can stay here while I'm gone, or he can live with Mark for three months if you'd prefer that.”

“This is his home, Lawson. It's yours too. I don't understand why you're doing this.”

“Garrett, we need the time and the space to figure out what we want to do.”

“I already know what I want. I want you, and I want to be your husband,” pleaded Garrett.

“But not more than you want to be Simon's father. It's okay. I understand. Quite frankly, you wouldn't be the man I fell in love with if you didn't want to give your son your all.” She paused. “Garrett, honey, I haven't been fair to you. I've tried to make you choose between your two families, and that wasn't right.”

“There's nothing saying I can't have my wife and my son. Men do it all the time. Heck, you and Mark do it every day.”

“We do, but the difference is that you've accepted Namon. You love him. I can't say the same for Simon.”

“Lawson, in time—”

“Nothing will change in time, Garrett. I will always wonder if you're sleeping with Simone, and I'll always wonder if you would've been better off with her, raising your son together. I know that's what you want.”

“I want you, Lawson.”

“Babe, I know you, okay? You don't want to be a weekend dad, and I know you hate walking on eggshells around me. You should be able to be with your son without worrying about me. I think it's better for everybody this way.”

“So your mind's made up?”

“Yes. When I get back in April, we can decide where to go from there.”

He nodded. “How are we going to do this? Are you going to come home on the weekends? Am I coming up there?”

“I don't think we should see each other during that time.”

Garrett was both hurt and angry. “What? Why not?”

“Garrett, it'll be fine. If we're meant to be, we'll come out of this stronger. If we're not, there's no point in forcing something that's doomed to fail, anyway.”

“It sounds like you've given up,” Garrett replied.

“I haven't given up on us, Garrett. I'll be praying every day that we find our way back to one another, but we've got to be realistic about our situation.”

“That may be the problem.”

“What?”

“Being
realistic
and not trusting God to handle it.” He took Lawson by the hands. “I want to pray for us.”

“Honey, I've already prayed. In fact, that's what I was doing right before you came in.”

“No, I said
I
want to pray for us. You can spare me that much, can't you?”

Lawson let out a deep breath and closed her eyes.

“Lord, my wife and I come to you in the name of Jesus. We call on you today to touch this marriage. We know that separation starts in the heart long before it's manifested in the physical realm, so I ask first that you'd give my wife and me a loving heart toward one another. Reveal to us areas where we have failed or hurt one another, and give us the strength to confront them head-on, not run away from our problems or let them fester. Bring about resolution in those areas and make our marriage stronger as a result.

“Lord, I confess and repent for the part I've played in damaging our relationship. I confess that I have wounded my wife very deeply. I was unfaithful to her. I broke our vows and made it difficult for her to trust me. In spite of that, Lord, I believe it's your will for us to remain with one another. If you be for us, who can be against us? Help us to remember that this marriage is a trinity—my wife, myself, and you. As long as we keep our eyes stayed on you, I know that we can trust you to bring us out.

“Your Word says that a woman is not to leave her husband, nor is a man to leave his wife. However, if we do find ourselves separated for a while, let us remember that a separation is not a divorce, and help us to conduct ourselves in a way that is pleasing to you and honors each other. Direct our paths, Lord. Draw us closer to you and to each other. Restore this marriage and make it be all that you have ordained it to be. Thank you for this incredible wife that you blessed me with. I'll never stop loving her or working to make this marriage the best it can be. Amen.” Garrett opened his eyes. “It's in the Lord's hands now.”

“Thank you for doing that. It reminded me of how we used to pray all the time.”

“Perhaps if we hadn't stopped praying together, the problems wouldn't have started.”

Garrett's phone rang, and Lawson's heart sank, as she assumed it was Simone calling. As always, whenever she and her husband started to take steps toward each other, Simone was there to make them retrace those steps.

Garrett answered the phone. “Hello? Slow down. What did you say?” Garrett listened to the person on the other end of the line for a few more seconds before hanging up.

“There's been a fire at the construction site. A couple of my guys are injured. I've got to get down there.”

“Go on. Get out of here. Call and let me know what's going on once you find anything out.” Garrett grabbed his keys and stopped at the door.

“What?”

“Simon . . . Simone's out of town, and I hate to drop him off on my folks at the last minute.”

“Garrett, you go. I'll take care of Simon.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, go take care of your business.”

Garrett bolted toward the door, leaving his wife at home alone with Simon for the first time. She didn't know what to expect, but Lawson prayed that she could put her resentment aside long enough to care for him until Garrett returned.

Lawson went to the nursery to check on him. She looked down into the crib at Simon, who stared back at her through his round brown eyes. “You
are
kind of cute,” she said with a chuckle. Simon sneezed. “Do you have a little cold?”

Simon started whimpering.

“Shh . . . ,” said Lawson. She tried to give him his pacifier. He spit it out and started wailing.

“I bet you want your daddy, don't you?” Lawson patted his chest. “Go to sleep, baby Simon. He'll be here before you know it.”

He continued to cry. Lawson breathed heavily and reached down into the crib and picked him up for the first time. “You're a heavy baby, aren't you?” She cradled him. Simon's cries simmered down to a whimper.

Lawson flung a cloth diaper over her shoulder and sat down in the rocking chair. “I guess keeping this old thing wasn't a bad idea, after all. I used to rock your stepbrother in this chair. Did you know that?” She rubbed his head. “You know, I'm not so bad, either. I've just been confused and a little insecure. You see, I love your daddy very much, and I was afraid of losing him to your mother and to you. You're some stiff competition, mister! I can't say I'd blame your daddy if he left me for you.” Simon sneezed again.

“Bless you! You're not coming down with anything, are you?” She wiped his nose and felt his forehead. It was warm. “Oh, no, we better check your temperature.”

Lawson rummaged through his baby bag until she found a thermometer. His temperature was 101.7.

Alarmed, Lawson called Angel. “Hey, chick, what are you doing?”

“The usual. Contemplating the meaning of life and thinking of a master plan. What's up?”

“What's a dangerous temperature for a baby?”

“Um, around a hundred and one or a hundred and two. Why?”

“Simon is sneezing, and he feels a little warm. It could be nothing, but I wanted a professional opinion.”

“Do you want me to come over and check it out?”

“Would you?”

“Yeah, give me twenty minutes.”

As promised, Angel arrived within a few minutes. She examined Simon while Lawson fretted off to the side.

Angel gave him a dose of acetaminophen and laid Simon down in his crib. “He's definitely sick,” concluded Angel.

“Do I need to take him to the hospital?”

“Not at this point, but you do need to watch him. Look for any changes in his appetite or behavior. If you notice any rashes or weird spots, you definitely need to call the doctor. Keep him hydrated and comfortable.”

“Let me write that down,” said Lawson, scrambling to find something to write with. Simon began fussing. Lawson instinctively picked him up and began cradling him. “It's okay,” she sang to him. “You'll be fine.”

Angel stood back in awe.

Lawson panicked. “What's wrong? Do you see any spots on him?”

“No, I see someone who looks like a mother.” She and Lawson both smiled. “I would offer to stay, but it looks like you have everything under control.”

“You can go, but keep your phone on!” commanded Lawson.

“I will. Call if you need me. I'll let myself out.”

Lawson kept vigil by Simon's crib all night, checking his temperature every hour, changing his diapers, and monitoring his milk intake.

After giving him a lukewarm bath around eleven o'clock that night, Lawson climbed into her bed with Simon in her arms. She was exhausted, but she knew she wouldn't be able to relax with him sick in the other room.

Lawson placed Simon on her chest and reclined in the bed. “I'll make a deal with you,” she said, bartering. “If you let me sleep for a few minutes, I'll let you sleep.”

Garrett came home to find Lawson propped up with pillows on their bed, holding Simon. They were both asleep.

Garrett gently roused her. “Hey, babe.”

Lawson woke up. “You're back. How did it go?”

“The building is a total loss, but my guys are doing okay.” He smiled, looking at the two of them. “I see you and li'l man have been getting acquainted.”

“Yeah, we had quite an adventure tonight. He started running a fever.” She transferred Simon to his father's arms. “He's fine now.”

“Why didn't you call me? I would've come home.”

“I didn't want to bother you. You had enough to worry about.”

“It looks like you took excellent care of him. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

“Well, let me put this big guy to bed.”

“I'll do it,” offered Lawson.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I know you're probably tired.”

Garrett handed Simon to Lawson. “That's a beautiful sight.”

Lawson carried Simon to his room and checked his temperature one more time before tucking him into the crib. Somewhere between Simon sneezing and Lawson feeding him, Lawson's heart began to soften toward her stepson and, by extension, her husband. Reconciliation wouldn't happen overnight, if it even happened at all. At least now Lawson was open to the idea that she, Garrett, Simon, and Namon could be a family. She looked down at Simon, thinking that maybe Jones County could wait.

—
Angel King

 

As Duke raced along the highway, weaving in and out of traffic en route to Angel's house, he had the feeling in the pit of his stomach that something was terribly wrong. It wasn't like her to not answer her phone, and it was definitely out of character for her to break a promise to one of his girls.

Duke spotted Angel's red Prius as he swerved into her driveway. He jumped out of the car and began pounding on her front door. “Angel! Angel, you in here? Are you okay?”

After getting no answer, Duke decided that the situation warranted breaking and entering. He whipped out the spare key she'd given him during their courtship and let himself in the house.

“Angel, baby, are you here?” Duke asked, wandering into her living room. The house was silent. He inspected the kitchen and bathroom. Finding that both were empty, he made his way to Angel's bedroom.

Duke stumbled upon her unresponsive body on the floor. She appeared to be unconscious. “Angel! Angel!” Duke cried, trying to rouse her. “Angel, can you hear me?”

She made a noise but didn't move or open her eyes. Duke immediately called 9-1-1.

Angel woke up in a fog. She didn't know where she was or how she'd gotten there. Once her vision crystallized, she noticed a nurse with a chart standing over her bed, and she realized that she was in the hospital.

“How are you feeling, Ms. King?” asked the nurse

Angel tried to sit up. “Confused. Why am I here? What happened?”

“You overdosed on hydrocodone and acetaminophen.”

“I didn't even take that many.” Then she remembered that she'd been taking three times the recommended dosage. “I know what you all are thinking, but I promise that I wasn't trying to kill myself.”

“That's not for me to decide, ma'am.”

Angel lay back down. “I guess there's no chance I'm getting out of here tonight, is it?”

“Ms. King, we're going to have to hold you here for a couple of days for observation and a psychiatric review.”

“Yeah, I'm a nurse. I know the routine.” The routine would include being treated and evaluated like a patient who'd overdosed as a result of trying to take her life. Most likely, it would also include her being suspended from the hospital, pending counseling.

There was a knock at her door. Duke poked his head in. “Can she have visitors?” he asked the nurse.

“Yes, but don't wear her out.” The nurse looked at Angel. “Miss King, I'll be back to check on you shortly.”

“Thank you.”

Duke sat down in the chair next to Angel's bed. “Hey.”

“Hey. What are you doing here? How did you even know I was here?”

“I was the one who found you.”

“Oh,” she said, a little embarrassed. “Why were you looking for me?”

“You said you were going to pick Morgan up today.”

Angel cringed. “I forgot all about that! She must be so disappointed with me.”

“She's all right. She wanted me to make sure you were okay. Anyway, when the school called and said she was still there, I got worried. You weren't answering your cell or your home phone, so I went by the house.”

“How'd you get in?”

“I still had my key. I let myself in. You were on the floor when I got there. You were totally out of it. It scared me. It was like watching my wife die all over again.”

“Duke, I'm sorry you had to see me like that, and I'm sorry I forgot about Morgan.” She shook her head. “What's wrong with me?”

Duke stroked her head. “Angel, what's going on with you? Talk to me.”

Sullivan and Lawson barged into the hospital room. “Oh, my God, Angel, are you okay?” Sullivan asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Then again, how could you be? Look what they've got you wearing!”

“I called Sullivan. She said she'd let the others know you were here. I hope that's okay,” said Duke.

“It's fine. Thank you.”

Duke rose. “Here, Lawson, you can have my seat. Angel, I'll be out there in the lobby.”

“You don't have to do that,” Angel told him. “Go home and be with your kids.”

“I'm where I want to be and where my children want me to be,” insisted Duke. “The girls are fine. Worry about you for a change.”

“Reggie and Kina are on the way,” Lawson said when Duke left. “Sweetie, what happened? Duke told Sullivan that they think you overdosed. What's that about?”

“Suffice it to say that I've discovered a new coping mechanism.”

“It was those pills from the abortion, wasn't it?” concluded Sullivan.

Angel nodded. “Not only has my in-house pharmacy nearly cost me my life, it looks like it may cost me my job as well. I'll be lucky if I get suspended instead of fired.”

Lawson squeezed her hand. “We're not even going to speak that kind of talk into existence. Angel, you were born to be a nurse. God doesn't give that kind of gift just to take it away from you.”

“At the very least, they're going to make me go to counseling.”

“That's probably not such a bad idea,” said Sullivan. “Angel, you've been through a lot. It might help to talk to somebody about it. Sometimes, talking to us isn't enough.”

“I know.” Angel nodded. “I never imagined that it would get this bad.”

After the ladies wrapped up their visit, Duke returned to Angel's bedside. He kissed her on the forehead. “It breaks my heart to see you like this.”

She couldn't hold back the tears any longer. “Duke, how did I let this happen? I feel so stupid.”

“Don't do that!” he ordered her. “Don't start getting down on yourself again. That's what got you to this point.”

Angel wiped her eyes. “What am I supposed to do now?”

Duke held her hand. “You let me take care of you.”

She was thrown. “What?”

“Angel, you've been caring for other people your whole life. You took care of my wife when she was sick. You looked after me and the girls when she died. It's time for someone to take care of you for a while.”

“Duke, you don't have to do that.”

“I know. I want to.”

“I'm a hot mess right now, Duke. There's a long road ahead for me to regain control of my life. I can't promise you anything.”

“You don't have to. This ain't about me. It's about you getting better so we can see that pretty smile on your face again.”

She nodded. “I want to smile again.”

“You will.” He smiled at her. “I'm going to personally see to that.”