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Authors: Shana Burton

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BOOK: Flawfully Wedded Wives
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Chapter 32
“If I'm so great, why did my husband go out and
sleep with someone else, huh?”
—Lawson Kerry Banks
 
“I thought I'd find you here,” Lawson said to Mark, joining him on the bleachers on their school's vacated football field after school had let out. “How are you doing?”
“You don't really want me to answer that, do you?”
Lawson winced. “That bad, huh?”
“Nothing can spoil a day quite like finding out the woman you love has been showing the goods to any man with a few dollars to spend on a lap dance. Adding insult to injury is having your mother tell you that it's posted on the Internet.” He blew out a breath. “Suffice it to say I've had better days.”
“Have you talked to Reggie?”
“She's avoiding me. She did send a text to say she knows she screwed up, but that's it.”
“Mark, I don't know what to say. I won't pretend to know how you must be feeling right now, but I do know that Reggie loves you. She just doesn't think sometimes.”
“It's obvious she wasn't thinking about me or our relationship. Did you know she'd started back stripping?”
“You know my sister doesn't volunteer to give me any info about her personal life. I usually have to drag it out of her. I didn't know for sure if she'd started back at the club, but I knew something was up.”
“You could've told me.”
“Mark, if there's one thing we don't do in our group, it's blabbing about each other's business to other people. Whatever happens in the sister circle stays there, at least it did before Kina and her film crew intervened.”
“I admire your loyalty. I wish some of that would rub off on your sister.”
She placed her hand on top of his. “You have to remember that Reggie is still young. She just turned twenty-five. She's going to make mistakes.”
“Lawson, a mistake is dialing the wrong number. My fiancée was living a whole other life that I was clueless about.”
“Would it help if I told you she was doing it for you? The last thing Reggie wants to be to you is a financial burden. I think she would've done whatever it took to be an equal contributor to this wedding and in your life together.”
“I never asked her do that. Equal and fair are not the same thing. I have a pretty good idea how much waitresses make. I didn't expect her to be able to contribute the same amount that I do. It hurts that she didn't trust me to take care of us.”
“No, she didn't trust God to take care of her and let Him, in turn, take care of the two of you.”
Mark nodded. “Yeah, you're right. Why does she do things like this, Lawson? Doesn't she know how disrespectful it is to me as her man?”
Lawson sighed. “My sister is a lot like a student name Terrance who I have in my first-period class. Terrance has had a rough life, been in and out of foster care since he was a baby. Many of the places he lived in were abusive, and he was never really nurtured as a child. All he knows about the world is that it beats him up. Knowing this, I always go out of my way to make a big deal about it if he does well on a test or shows kindness to someone else. Whenever that happens, it never fails that the very next day Terrance will do something totally disapproving, like cut class or cuss one of the students out or start a fight or do anything that will land him back in trouble. He doesn't know what to do with himself when someone shows him any love or appreciation. It doesn't make sense to him, because he's not used to it. Degradation, punishment—that's what makes sense, because that's all he knows.
“I think Reggie is like that. She's not used to being loved and accepted for who she is. She doesn't feel like she's good enough for you, so she acts out. I don't think she even realizes why she does it.”
“Is this how I'm supposed to spend my life? Waiting for her to act out and self-destruct?”
“Only you can answer that.”
Mark dropped his head. “Sometimes, I wish . . .”
“Wish what?”
He looked up at Lawson. “Sometimes, I wish Reggie was more like you.”
Lawson laughed. “No, you don't! Trust me.”
“I'm serious. You're principled, and you stand up for what's right. You're committed and loyal. You're comfortable in your own skin. I admire that.”
Lawson's disposition shifted. “If I'm so great, why did my husband go out and sleep with someone else, huh?”
“That's because Garrett is a fool!” opined Mark. “He didn't realize or appreciate what he had at home.”
“I guess the same could be said of my sister.”
“Don't let what your husband did make you second-guess who you are for one second. I think you're amazing, Lawson. I always have. I couldn't have asked for a better role model and mother for my son.”
Lawson was flattered. “Wow . . . Thank you.”
“I mean it.” He turned her face toward his. “You're something special.”
It could've been the fact that they were both hurting or that there had always been chemistry lying dormant between them. Whatever the case, at that moment, Lawson and Mark were drawn to each other, and it culminated when. Mark leaned in, gently placing his lips on hers. Lawson briefly closed her eyes and kissed him back.
Lawson wiped her lipstick off his lips with her thumb. “I bet you've wanted to do that again for seventeen years,” she joked.
He chuckled. “Seventeen years ago we did that and a whole lot more, La-la! That's how Namon got here.”
Lawson reached for his hand. “We make a great parenting team, don't we?”
“Good coworkers too. Don't forget that.”
“And we're friends,” she added. “I really value our friendship, Mark.”
“So do I.”
She released his hand. “So that's why . . .”
Mark nodded. “Yeah, I know. We don't need to cross that line ever again.”
Lawson concurred. “It would be a catastrophe. Plus, I know your heart is with my sister. Any fool can see that.”
“And any fool can see how much you love your husband.”
Lawson sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. “Mark, what are we going to do about them?”
“Your guess is as good as mine, but you're right about one thing. I do love her, Lawson.”
Lawson sat up. “Then tell her, and do it quick, before she starts acting out again!”
“I'll do my best, but you know your sister has a mind of her own.”
“Be patient with her, Mark. Reggie really is a good girl.”
“I know she is.”
“All right, you've sulked long enough.” She yanked him up. “It's time to get your woman back!”
Mark dusted off his pants. “Reggie is a great woman, and so are you.” He kissed her on the brow. “I don't want you to forget that.”
Lawson smiled. It was nice to be reminded of that, even if it was from her sister's fiancé. Her smile faded, however, when she realized how quickly a person could give in to temptation. If she, with all her high moral standing, could succumb to kissing her sister's fiancé, how much quicker could Garrett be seduced by the woman who bore his child?
Chapter 33
“I'm not going to apologize for being blessed.”
—
Kina Battle
 
“This was certainly sweet of you,” Angel complimented, sitting down to the Sunday dinner that Lawson had prepared for her, Kina, Sullivan, and Reginell.
“It's a little more than a dinner, Angel,” Lawson revealed, setting a pitcher of tea down on the table. “It's an intervention.”
“For who?” Sullivan asked, helping herself to the garden salad.
“For Kina. I'm starting to get worried about her.”
“I'm not. If I know one thing for sure, it's that money brings out what's really in the heart of a person,” attested Sullivan. “This behavior has always been inside of Kina. She was just waiting for the opportunity to bring it out.”
Angel agreed. “I was a little concerned about the way she was spending money and hauling those cameras around everywhere, but what she did to Reggie, exposing her like that, was taking it too far.”
Lawson prayed aloud over the food before fixing her plate.
Angel panned the room. “Where is Reggie, anyway?”
“She didn't want to come. I hope she's with Mark, and they're sorting through this mess,” Lawson said.
Sullivan raised her eyebrow. “Is that what you really hope?”
Lawson had a flashback to her and Mark's kiss but refused to indulge in the thought. “Obviously, I want my sister to be with the man she loves. I also want my son's father to be happy. He and Reggie belong together.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” muttered Sullivan.
Kina breezed into the house, unannounced, with her filming entourage in tow. “The door was unlocked, so I let myself in.” Kina took time to go around the table to hug and kiss everyone before taking a seat. “I'm here. The party can start now!” Kina pulled out a bag from a take-out restaurant. “I hope you don't mind, but I brought my own dinner. I had a craving for sushi.”
Lawson noticed that she was under the cameraman's ever-present and watchful eye. “Can you turn that thing off for a minute? This is kind of private.”
“He's supposed to be capturing my life as it happens, Lawson. That also includes moments like this.”
Sullivan spoke loudly into the camera lens. “Okay, Kina, tell us about the thug you've been running around town with. Would you like to have that discussion in front of the camera as well?”
Kina's olive skin reddened. “Can you give us a minute, Chris?” He shut off the camera. “Was all that necessary, Sullivan?” hissed Kina.
“Yes,” replied Lawson. “Threats seem to be the only way we can get through to you without there being a camera involved. Kina, I hope that you receive what I'm about to say in the spirit of love that's intended. Remember the Word says, ‘He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth. '”
“Meaning?” demanded Kina.
Lawson responded, “Namon found some pictures of you online today.”
Kina raked the contents of her take-out box onto one of Lawson's plates. “If this is about me hanging out with Cut 'Em Cali the other night, I can explain that. We happened to be at the same function, and there were people taking pictures. There's nothing more to it than that.”
“You being splashed all over the blogs, posing with some misogynist rapper, is only part of it,” replied Lawson.
Kina beamed, proud to have been featured. “Great photo op, wasn't it? Everybody's talking about it. I've had people calling up, asking if we're a couple.”
Angel shook her head. “Why would you be posing it up with a documented wife beater, of all people? Especially after everything you went through with E'Bell.”
“It was just a picture, Angel, but you've got to admit posing with him has caused a nice little buzz.”
“Yes, but for all the wrong reasons,” Lawson pointed out. “People are starting to talk, Kina, and not all of it is good.”
“The only bad press is no press, Lawson.”
Lawson frowned. “So you care only about your name being in the news cycle for another fifteen minutes?”
“Don't be so dramatic, cuzzo. It's not like I'm trying to marry the guy, but that one picture got me two radio interviews, a mention on Celebonies.com, and another five hundred hits on my Web site.”
“Hits . . . now that's something both you and Cut 'Em Cali have in common,” Sullivan noted.
“See? That's what I'm talking about! One minute it's all about Jesus. The next it's, ‘Oh, I got a million hits on my Web site today!'” Lawson backed away from the table and stood up. “If I can paraphrase Paul in Corinthians, I don't say these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved sister. I'm not coming to you with a rod but with love in a spirit of gentleness.”
Kina squinted her eyes, confused. “What are you talking about, Lawson?”
Lawson sat down. “We, or at least
I,
think you're letting fame go to your head.”
“I know I've changed on the outside, but inside I'm still your favorite cousin. I just know who I am now, and I finally took hold of all that confidence you all have been trying to get me to latch on to for years.”
“It's not that, Kina. You've been making some questionable decisions recently,” Angel divulged.
“What's wrong with me wanting to be successful? Kina Battle isn't just a person anymore. I'm also a brand.”
“I had a different
b
word in mind,” grumbled Sullivan.
Angel attempted to reason with her friend. “We don't want to see you go down a dangerous path, Kina, that's all.”
“What?” asked Kina, wide-eyed and innocent.
“Was putting Reggie on blast like that really called for?” charged Lawson.
“So my crime is trying to show a bunch of lost women, your sister included, another way of living and telling them about the goodness of God's grace and love? You should be applauding me for putting forth the effort.”
“And I would if I felt like you had pure motives,” explained Lawson. “But you did it primarily for ratings.”
“Says who?” scoffed Kina.
Sullivan rolled her eyes. “Kina, when is the last time you
didn't
do something for ratings? You're no different from those dirty politicians who were following me and Vaughn around and posting pictures online to ruin Charles's campaign.”
Kina sighed. “I think I see what's going on here. People warned me this would happen.”
Lawson breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God! I'm glad you have people around you who don't mind letting you know when things are getting out of hand.”
“No, what I was warned about are friends who might become jealous and start to resent my success.”
“Huh?” Sullivan furrowed her brow.
“Look, I know it's hard for you to see me in a position of power, especially since you all saw me being E'Bell's doormat for so long. It's not hard to understand how suddenly seeing me with fame and money can inspire envy.”
Lawson shook her head. “That's not what's going on here.”
Kina patted Lawson's hand. “Lawson, it's okay. I realize that your life kind of sucks right now, and it's not easy to see someone else be happy.”
Angel voiced her opinion. “Kina, we're all very happy for you and all the success you've had. We've always been your biggest supporters. We just think you're losing sight of what's important.”
“How can you say that when everything I do is done to glorify the Lord and expose the world to His goodness? What's wrong with that?”
“Nothing,” replied Angel. “Like Lawson said, no one is questioning the message, just the motive.”
“Be honest, Kina. Not everything you've done has been in the name of spreading the gospel,” Lawson asserted.
“I'm not going to apologize for being blessed, for having a great life, or for having nice things,” Kina responded. “God's favor ain't fair.”
“No one is asking you to apologize. There's nothing wrong with you having nice things, but there's definitely something wrong with nice things having
you!
You've turned into a person we hardly recognize anymore,” said Lawson
Sullivan set her fork down. “This is a waste of time. This woman's head is stuck too far up her who-ha for her to listen to anybody who's not willing to do her bidding.”
“I think I've lost my appetite.” Kina gathered her things. “I never thought I'd see the day that my own kinfolks and the people who call themselves my friends would be too envious to be happy for me.” Kina stormed out, with Chris trailing her with his camera.
“Good riddance!” Sullivan muttered.
“Ladies, maybe we shouldn't be too hard on Kina,” said Angel. “If someone put enough money in our faces, we'd probably act the same way. No person can know for sure how they'd behave in any given situation. We could all find ourselves doing things we swore we weren't capable of doing.”
“Are we still talking about Kina here?” Sullivan asked.
Angel didn't reply.
Sullivan went on. “Angel, please don't start drawing comparisons between your abortion and Kina's diva antics, because there are none!”
Angel frowned. “Aren't there? We both were too caught up in ourselves to worry about how our actions might affect someone else.”
“Angel, you've got to cut yourself some slack,” Lawson advised her. “I know I was completely against you having an abortion, but it's done. It's time that you forgave yourself.”
“That's easy for you to say. You weren't the one who killed your own child.”
“No, but I was the one who lied to my husband about wanting one, and it almost cost me my marriage. I had to get over it, though. I asked for God's forgiveness, and then I forgave myself. Colossians one, thirteen and fourteen says, ‘Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins.'”
“Try telling Jordan that. He thinks I'm a monster. He won't even talk to me now.”
“To that I say, ‘Hallelujah and kick rocks!'” proclaimed Sullivan. “Jordan is a jerk. Don't squander another single, solitary thought on him.”
“He really wanted his baby.”
Sullivan chortled. “I'm sure the people he stole from
really wanted
their money. You
really wanted
a man who wasn't a fraud and a criminal. People don't always get what they want.”
Angel checked the time. “I need to get out of here if I don't want to be late for work.”
“Are you going back to work? You just got off,” asked Lawson.
“And now I'm going back,” snapped Angel.
Lawson shook her head. “So you punish yourself for sleeping with Jordan by having an abortion, and then you punish yourself again for actually having the abortion by working yourself to death.”
“Working is the only time I don't have to think about what I've done. Nothing happens by accident. God had a plan and a purpose for that child. Who knows what his or her future held?”
“Honey, don't you think God knew this was going to happen long before you did?” quizzed Lawson. “He's the author and finisher, the beginning and the end. Your pregnancy was a surprise to you, not Him. Neither was your abortion.”
“You can't let this guilt eat you alive,” urged Sullivan. “It happened. There's nothing you can do about it except move on and try not to let it happen again.”
“It doesn't seem right to just go on like nothing happened.”
Sullivan was stumped. “Why not?”
“This guilt is with me all the time. If I laugh or see something interesting or have a good feeling, I remember that my baby will never get to experience that, and it's because of me and my selfish decision.”
Sullivan shook her head. “Let me tell you something, Angel. I had an abortion. Heck, I had two, but I go on with my life every day the same as every other woman. I'm not saying it's right by any means, but I don't think that God has condemned me to spend my life in my own personal hell, worrying about it. Do you honestly think that walking around here, looking pitiful, working yourself to death, carrying all this guilt is going to sway the Lord one way or the other? If anything, you carrying on like this is an insult to Him.”
“How so?”
“It's an insult to the blood His son shed for our sins. When Jesus was nailed to that cross and said, ‘It is finished, ' that's what He meant! Condemnation, conviction, guilt—they were all finished. He died for all past, present, and future sins. Your acting like this is tantamount to saying Jesus's blood wasn't strong or good enough to cleanse your sins. Think about everything He endured on that cross—the nails, the degradation, the thorns, the stripes, having God turn away from Him. Are you saying that all of that wasn't enough to cover you having an abortion?”
Lawson's eyes bulged. “Wow . . . When did you go and get so smart, Sully? That almost sounded like preaching!”
Sullivan smiled bashfully. “I read my Bible and listen to my husband every once in a while.”
Angel still wasn't convinced. “I've got to go. Thank you for dinner, Lawson.”
Sullivan hugged her. “Think about what I said.”
Angel nodded and walked out.
“Once again, I've managed to clear a room,” Lawson concluded, looking around at the empty seats.
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