Flawfully Wedded Wives (16 page)

“What if . . . what if I can't take care of this baby?”

“I'm no expert on the Bible, but I do know that in Genesis it says, ‘Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones.' Maybe this is one of those times where you just have to trust God and trust that He loves you enough to make sure you and this baby are taken care of.”

“It feels wrong to even ask God for help,” Angel said, confiding in Sullivan. “God isn't obligated to take care of anything He didn't ordain, and I don't believe He sanctioned me doing the nasty with Jordan.”

“Child, God hasn't sanctioned and ordained ninety percent of the stuff I've done! But you know what? He always finds a way to let it work out for my good. You're not the first unmarried woman to get pregnant, and you certainly won't be the last. You can get through this. It's just hard right now.”

Angel threw her head back. “
Ugh!
Why me? Why now?”

“Why
not
you, Angel? Stop stressing out. The baby doesn't need that, and neither do you.”

Angel exhaled. “What am I going to do, Sully?”

“I don't know, but whatever it is, let it be your decision, not mine, not Lawson's or anybody else's. This is between you, God, and Jordan. Pray for discernment and wisdom in this situation, and cast your cares onto Him, because He cares for you,” Sullivan said, paraphrasing one of the Psalms, and rose. “Now, get your rest. You're going to miss this luxury once there's an infant in the house.”

“Thank you for talking to me and being honest.”

Sullivan smiled. “Always. Enjoy your nap.”

Angel buried her head in the pillow. She dozed off, hoping against hope to wake up and discover that her unwanted pregnancy was nothing more than a bad dream.

—
Kina Battle

 

At dusk the ladies sat in a deserted corner of the beach, watching their last sunset in the Bahamas.

“I'm a little sad that it's our last night,” said Kina, digging her toes in the sand. “We should do this more often.”

“Yeah, we should come to the Bahamas at least once a week,” remarked Angel.

“I have an idea.” Reginell reached into her bag and pulled out a notebook and pen. “You all up for a game?”

“I'm not engaging in any activities that you and your little stripper friends used to do,” Sullivan warned her.

“Sullivan, with your track record, I'm sure the strippers could probably learn a few tricks from you. Okay, the only rule to this game is to answer honestly,” Reginell stated as she distributed small slivers of paper to everyone that evening. “Write a question down that you want one of us to answer.”

“What kind of question?” asked Lawson.

“It can be anything, but try to avoid yes-no questions. It should be something you have to think about.” Reginell found enough pens in her bag for everyone. “Write your questions on the paper, fold it up, and drop it into this cup.” She pointed to a coffee cup.

The ladies scribbled their questions and deposited them as instructed. Once everyone had contributed, Reginell shook the coffee cup and passed the questions back out. “Make sure you don't have your own question.”

Sullivan unfolded her paper. “I don't.”

“Me either,” said Lawson.

Reginell sat down. “Good. Who wants to go first?”

Kina raised her hand. “I will. My question is, what is something you've done that you'll never do again?” Kina crumpled the paper. “Outside of letting my weight get back up to three hundred pounds, I'd have to say I'll never let people walk all over me again. That's something I've always done, even as a kid. I never spoke up for myself or fought back, but being on
Lose Big
forced me to fight for what I wanted and to take ownership of my life. I could never go back to being that weak person I was a year ago.”

“We liked that Kina,” said Lawson. “Not to say that we want you to be a pushover, but it was nice being able to talk without having to schedule an appointment with your PR team or having a conversation that isn't scripted or taped.”

“I think you just need to balance both sides of your personality,” Angel advised her. “You can be strong without being a witch, and you can be nice without being a lackey.”

“If I was worried about being nice, I never would've won the competition,” argued Kina. “Nice girls finish last. I know because I used to be one of them!”

“All right, Sully, you're up,” said Reginell.

Sullivan unfolded her question. “What do you need more of right now? Let's see . . .” Sullivan tapped the side of her head. “Shoes . . . sex . . .”

“You won't be getting any of that here with us this weekend, ma'am!” Angel told her.

“Maybe that's what you should've told Jordan,” noted Lawson.

“What I really want more of right now is time with my father,” replied Sullivan. “We've missed out on so much time and so many years, which are gone forever.”

Lawson patted her on the back. “In Joel, the Bible says the Lord will restore to you the years that the locusts have eaten.”

Sullivan raised an eyebrow. “Is
locusts
how we're now referring to Vera?”

“Sully, that was mean,” Lawson chided.

“You're right,” Sullivan replied. “I'm being way too hard on the locusts.”

“I think you're being way too hard on your mother,” said Angel.

Sullivan gawked at her. “Are you kidding me? Angel, you know better than anyone what a nut job she is! Calling her a locust is really a compliment.”

Angel gave in. “Vera has her issues. I'll give you that. However, I wouldn't go putting Samuel Sullivan on a pedestal yet. Say what you want about your mother, but she stuck around. She didn't abandon you. Your father did.”

“Yes, and whose fault is that?” Sullivan asked.

“I'm sure there's enough blame to go around,” conceded Lawson. “But the fact still remains that your father bailed on you. You said yourself that he'd planned to take that secret to the grave. He never would've reached out to you if you hadn't forced his hand.”

“Who's next?” Sullivan blurted out, unwilling to entertain negative talk about her father.

“I'll take a gander at it,” ventured Angel. “Fill in the blank. Love is . . .” She thought it over. “Love is . . . elusive. It is for me, anyway.”

Lawson wrinkled her nose. “Why do you say that?”

“Look at my track record. When is the last time I had a relationship that was actually productive?”

Sullivan proceeded gingerly. “Well, Angel, sometimes you have to look at the common denominator.”

Angel frowned. “What's that? That all the men I chose are incapable of being in a committed relationship?”

“No, that they all dated you. You're the common denominator,” said Sullivan.

Angel pointed at herself. “So you think I'm the problem?”

“
Problem
is a strong word,” Lawson told her. “I think you should reevaluate not necessarily the men, but the choices you make in your relationships.”

Kina nodded. “She's got a point, Angel. When you fall in love, you fall hard and you fall quickly.”

“If you keep falling headfirst, you're bound to crack your neck sooner or later,” quipped Sullivan. “I don't think you give yourself enough time to explore the relationship and get to know the men before you start professing your love for them.”

Angel pouted. “That's not true.”

“Isn't it? Take a look at your relationship history. You met Duke in college, claimed love at first sight, and married him a year later,” Lawson said, recounting the events.

“Sullivan married Charles six months after they met,” countered Angel.

Sullivan refuted the comparison. “That's different. I was broke, and Charles was horny. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

Lawson went on. “You were engaged to Duke again six months after his wife died. Then you dove in headfirst with his cousin, only to discover that he was a pervert with a porn addiction. I warned you about taking your time with Jordan, and what did you do? You slept with him on your second date, and now you're pregnant by a man who you barely know at all. Had you taken your time before giving your whole heart, those relationships might have turned out differently.”

Angel was stuck. “I either move too fast, and I end up hurt, or I move to slow and end up alone. How do I fix that?”

“It's like we told Kina,” Lawson replied. “You've got to find a balance.”

“All right, I'll go next,” Reginell said, volunteering. She silently read her question and frowned. “Who came up with this question?”

“What is it?” asked Angel.

“What did you want most as a child that affects you as an adult? I don't even think I know what that means.”

“I've taken enough psych classes to know that as adults, we are shaped by things that happened or didn't happen in our childhood,” explained Lawson.

“I guess we know whose question that was,” Sullivan noted.

Lawson rolled her eyes at Sullivan. “I didn't have a lot of structure and stability in my life as a child, so I'm very anal about that kind of stuff now. Sully didn't have a father, so she's always gone after older men.”

Sullivan broke in. “Wait . . . you think I have Daddy issues?”

“I think you have
several
issues, and
Daddy
is definitely one of them,” Lawson asserted. “All right, Reggie, answer the question.”

Reginell thought it over. “The only thing I wanted as a child that affects me as an adult is having the opportunity to sing. It's the only thing I've ever been good at or that made people pay attention to me other than taking my clothes off.”

Kina elbowed her. “Why are you always so down on yourself, Reggie?”

Reginell exhaled. “I'm a realist. I know I'm not like y'all. I don't have my dream career like you, Lawson, or my own business like Angel. I'm not a TV star like Kina or even pretty like Sullivan. I'm just . . . I don't know . . .
basic.
Without singing, I'm nothing, and since no one will let me sing . . .”

“Reggie, I hate to hear you talking like that,” lamented Lawson. “Do you really think that stripping is the best God has planned for you? If you would turn your life over to Him, you could live a life better than you ever imagined.”

“I've tried that. Nothing ever really changes for me, though.”

“Don't minimize the miracles God has already done in your life. Reggie, you have a man who loves and treasures you. He accepts you completely as you are. Do you know how many women spend their lives searching and praying for that?” asked Angel. “Not to mention that you have friends, a loving family, and a God-given talent to sing. A lot of people would kill to be in your shoes.”

“All right, Lawson, it's your turn,” noted Kina.

“My question is, are you happy?” Lawson sighed. “At this moment, yes. It's hard not to be when you're in this fabulous place with no worries and no drama and no baby mamas.”

Kina leaned forward. “What about when you get home?”

“Home is a whole other matter entirely. It's not up to my husband to make me happy. It's my job to do that, because happiness is a choice, but Garrett plays an undeniable role in that. At this point, I really don't know what to do to fix my marriage or be happy in it.”

Sullivan reclined on her beach towel. “Why don't you stop trying to fix things and let God do it?”

“Normally, I wouldn't advocate taking marital advice from Sully,” began Angel. “But she has a point. Honey, at some point, you have to turn this thing with Simon and Simone over to God.”

Reginell shook her head. “How is it that y'all have advice for each other but can't figure out your own lives?”

Angel laughed. “Now, that's a darn good question. Maybe if we took our own advice, our lives would be perfect.”

Kina stood up and dusted herself off. “I think I'm going to walk on the beach one last time. Anybody want to stroll with me?”

“Pass,” said Sullivan.

“Yeah, me too, cuz,” replied Lawson. “I'm heading back to the house in a few minutes to start packing.”

Angel staggered to her feet. “I'm heading up to the house now. My stomach hurts.”

“What's wrong? You must have a baby in there or something?” Sullivan teased her.

“Ha-ha!” Angel hurled a towel at her head and went back to the house.

“I'll go with you, Kina.” Reginell caught up with Kina. “I can use the exercise.”

“Have fun,” Lawson called after them.

“So what's been going on with you, girl?” asked Reginell once they'd gotten some distance from Sullivan and Lawson. “We haven't even really talked since you've been back.”

“It's been crazy! You know I'm not used to getting invited anywhere. Now I'm getting asked to make appearances at all kinds of parties and events. I'm meeting a bunch of different people. It's great.”

“I'm sure it is! What about men? Are you meeting any of them?”

Kina blushed. “Reggie . . .”

“You can tell me, Kina. Lawson is the one ready to hurl the Word at you, not me.”

“I've been a good girl.” She raised her right hand. “Scout's honor.”

Reginell stopped and looked at her suspiciously. “Kina . . . tell the truth and shame the devil.”

Kina laughed. “Okay, there was this one guy,” she revealed.

“I knew it!” exclaimed Reginell. “Who is he?”

“This rapper dude named Calin.”

Reginell's mouth dropped. “Cut 'Em Cali! Kina, you smashed off Cut 'Em Cali?”

Kina tried to quiet her. “Keep it down, Reggie. You never know who's listening.”

“What happened? How did you meet him?”

“We were both at a For Sisters Only event last week. We ended up having lunch together, and he took me out for drinks. Then one thing led to another.”

“Girl, how was it?”

Kina's face turned sour. “It wasn't good, Reggie. I'm not the type to have sex in a nameless hotel room with a man I have no spiritual or emotional connection with.”

“You don't think he's going to tell anyone, do you?”

Kina shook her head. “I doubt it. I asked him about that. He said he doesn't hit and tell. Plus, he said he wouldn't get any props for sleeping with a reality show church chick.”

Reginell made a face. “That's harsh!”

“It's just as well. I hope I never have to see him again. It would be embarrassing. Now, I want you to tell me something. What's all this I'm hearing about you having money problems?”

“Lawson talks too much, but I'm good.”

“Are you sure? You know I'd loan you some money.”

“Thanks, Ki, but it's handled.”

“Handled how?”

Reginell looked away.

“Reggie?”

“I got a new job. . . . Well, I got an old job.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ray hired me back at Paramours.”