Flaw Less (28 page)

—
Sullivan Webb

 

 

Sullivan prayed for strength and mercy as she stood outside of her front door, preparing to go in, confirm the truth about their baby, Vaughn, and the child's true paternity. She looked down at her wedding ring. She was going into the house a married woman but could very well come out a single mother.

“Baby, I'm home,” called Sullivan as she entered the foyer. Charles was sitting on the sofa reading his Bible.

Sullivan approached him with a kiss. “I hope I wasn't gone too long. Is Mavis still here?”

Charles nodded and looked toward the kitchen.

“Okay, I'm going to send her on home. There's something really important I need to talk to you about.”

After dismissing the housekeeper, Sullivan returned to Charles's side. She reached for his hand, took a deep breath, and began.

“Charles, I know I've made this marriage very challenging for you, to say the least. I remember back when we first got engaged how everyone tried to warn you against marrying me. After all, what business did the daughter of a whore and a married man with three kids at home have marrying a man like you?”

Charles shook his head to indicate that he never saw her that way.

“I know you've always seen me as your princess, that's what made me fall in love with you, but I am what I am, honey. Thank God I have you and Christ in my life now, but sometimes, I am still that lost girl that you rescued. As much as I like to think I've changed, I still have some of the old me left inside. There are times when I want what I want when I want it. I don't always stop to think about who might get hurt in the process or what I stand to lose. It's in those times that I'm too caught up in me to seek God's direction. And it's during those times that I don't always do the right thing.”

Sullivan rose and paced the floor as she talked. “Regardless of anything that happens next, I want you to know how very much I love you, Charles. Nothing has given me more joy or more sense of purpose than being your wife. It's my prayer that we're able to live out our lives together, but I keep screwing up. I keep hurting you and disappointing you,” she confessed, her voice breaking into a sob. “You're a good man, Charles, but even you have your limits.”

Charles grunted and vigorously shook his head. He reached out for her so she could know she didn't have to justify herself to him.

“No, I need to say this, Charles. Even if it costs me everything I love, you have to know the truth about the kind of woman you married.”

Sullivan opened her mouth to continue when it happened. She felt something like a flutter inside of her womb. Her baby kicked for the first time.

She gasped and held her stomach. “She kicked . . . She kicked!” whispered Sullivan. She noticed Charles staring at her. She placed his hand on her stomach too. “That's right, Charles. This is what I wanted to tell you so badly before the stroke. I'm pregnant.”

Charles's eyes began to well with tears.

“I know we didn't think it would happen, but I guess God heard our prayers. We're having a baby, Charles.” She took a deep breath. “But there's something you need to know about the night you had the stroke.” Sullivan braided her hand into his. “Charles, do you remember what happened right before the stroke?”

Charles squinted his eyes and grunted.

“Do you remember who was with you?”

He nodded slowly. “Ka . . . Ka . . .”

“Yes, it was Kina. She brought you dinner. Do you remember what happened after that? Do you remember anything she said to you?”

Charles didn't respond.

“Honey, I think . . .” She sighed. “I think I need to tell you what she said. You have a right to know why this happened.”

The truth was that Charles remembered it all quite clearly. He remembered Kina professing her love for him, he remembered rejecting her, and he remembered the bombshell report that Sullivan was carrying another man's child.

It was enough to kill him, and it almost did. It was at that point that Charles began to mediate on Hosea and God's call to him to love and accept his adulterous wife, Gomer. Like Sullivan, she'd been unfaithful and bore another man's child, but Hosea took her back under the direction of the Lord as a demonstration of God's love and faithfulness despite Israel's disobedience.

He also knew how damaged his wife was from the neglect and abuse she suffered at the hands of her parents, and he knew that God had charged him with breaking the cycle.

Charles looked at Sullivan with all sincerity and lifted his finger to quiet her before she went on. He placed his hand on her stomach and smiled.

“But I need to tell you.”

Charles frowned as he shook his head, indicating that he didn't want to know and invited Sullivan into his arms.

Sullivan mouthed, “Okay” and lay her head on his chest.

In her heart, Sullivan knew that he remembered as well. The fact that he loved her and the baby enough to pretend he didn't was almost incomprehensible to her and brought her to tears.

“I don't deserve you,” she replied sadly. “I don't deserve to be loved like this, to be forgiven for everything I've done to you.”

“Love . . . you,” sputtered Charles.

Sullivan nodded, finally understanding the sacrifice he was willing to make for her and their family. “I know you do. I just can't believe how much you love me, Charles. I've never known anything like it. What truly amazes me is as much as you love me, God loves us even more. We're the apple of His eye. It's because of His love for us that you can love me the way that you do.”

She now knew what it felt like to be loved, to be protected, and understood, and finally, to be home.

—
Lawson Kerry Banks

 

 

After a harrowing nine hours of labor, Sullivan was finally able to hold her daughter in her arms, surrounded by the man she loved and her child's three surrogate aunts, Angel, Reginell, and Lawson.

“She's so beautiful,” gushed Angel, allowing the baby to squeeze her finger. “Congratulations to both of you.”

“Thank you, sister,” said Charles, who had regained his voice after months of speech therapy. “She's our little miracle baby.”

The baby yawned.

“Ohhh, look at that little mouth!” cooed Lawson. “Hi, Princess.”

“You know, we can't keep calling her ‘baby' and ‘princess' forever,” Reginell pointed out. “So what did you decide to name her? Prada? Gucci? Chanel?”

Sullivan laughed and cradled her baby's head. “Her name is Charity. Charity Faith Webb.”

“That's pretty,” said Angel.

“Charity means love, right?” asked Reginell for confirmation. “It sounds kind of like Charles too.”

“Yes, Charity means love,” answered Sullivan. “And God is love. This little girl will know the love of God and her family and be covered in love by all of you.”

“Yes, she will,” affirmed Charles.

“So will her mother,” added Lawson.

There was a faint knock at the door. “Excuse me, Mr. Webb?”

Charles looked up and saw a nurse in the doorway. “I'll let you ladies get to know Miss Webb a little better.” He kissed the top of Sullivan's head and kissed the baby. “I'll be right back, sweetheart.”

“Okay, babe.” She watched him leave but was too focused on the baby to wonder where he was going.

“I can't believe you're a mother, Sullivan!” exclaimed Lawson. “How does it feel?”

“You know, I spent a lot of nights crying myself to sleep and wondering if I'd ever have a moment like this.” A smile shone through her pain. “But like Miss Celie said, ‘Thank God I'm here!' Now, I have a testimony. I know that the blood of Jesus can cover a multitude of sins because He covered mine. I don't have to be condemned. I don't have to perpetuate this generational curse that's been on the women in my family as far back as anyone can remember. It stops with this child. My baby will know what it's like to loved and cherished. She'll know that she's precious and that she's God's little princess. She'll grow up knowing who she is in Christ and knowing that she has parents who will stop the world for her. She'll know she's beautiful and brilliant and that she's the baddest chick to walk this planet since her mother!”

They all laughed.

“Ain't that right, sugar?” Sullivan kissed the baby's nose.

Charles watched from outside of Sullivan's hospital room, clutching a sealed envelope. Inside the envelope held the results for the paternity test that he'd secretly requested for Charity. He debated whether to look at the results, having already decided to raise the child as his own regardless of what the test said. He couldn't imagine his little angel belonging to anyone other than him and Sullivan. He already loved her and would fight with everything in him to always protect her. In the end, he figured the DNA running through Charity's veins didn't really matter.

Charles folded the envelope and tucked it into his jacket. As he placed his hand on the doorknob to return to his wife and new daughter, a nagging feeling began eating away at him. He bit his lip and pulled the envelope back out. He stared at it a few seconds before saying a quick prayer and tearing open the envelope.

Back in the Sullivan's hospital room, the ladies continued to ogle and dote on baby Charity.

“I see you how you're looking at my baby, Lawson,” hedged Sullivan. “If I didn't know better, I'd think you were over there getting baby fever.”

Lawson giggled. “With this adorable face staring up at me, I'd have to be made of stone not to.” She checked her vibrating cell phone. “I just got a text from Garrett. He wants me to meet him down in the parking lot.”

“Bring him on up here,” replied Sullivan. “Tell him he's got to meet his new niece.”

Lawson kissed Charity's forehead. “Let's see if your Uncle Garrett wants to go home and make one of you for ourselves.” She crept out of the room to find her husband.

A hip-hop ringtone came blaring from Reginell's phone. Sullivan covered her baby's ear. “Do you mind, Reggie? She's only a few hours old. I think it's a little soon for Charity to be exposed to her first cuss words.”

“Okay, okay, I'll take this in the bathroom.” Reginell scooted off to Sullivan's bathroom to answer the phone. It was Mark. “Hey, baby, what's up?” she asked him.

“How's the baby?”

“She's so beautiful! She's one of the few things that Sullivan has actually done right.”

Mark chuckled. “Hey, don't make any plans for tonight. I want you to come over.”

Reginell leaned against the sink. “Why? What's going on?”

Mark smiled and looked at the jewelry box cradled in his right hand. “You'll see. . . . I love you, Reggie.”

She grinned into the phone. “I love you too. I'll see you tonight.”

 

 

Lawson crisscrossed her way through the parking lot to find Garrett. “Why did you want to meet out here? Don't you want to go in and see the baby?”

“In a minute,” Garrett replied brusquely. “I wanted some privacy first. There's something I need to tell you.”

“What—did something happen to Namon?” she asked, panicked.

“No, he's fine.” Garrett still seemed troubled. He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Lawson, there's just no easy way to say this.”

Lawson gingerly touched his face. “What's going on, honey? What's wrong?”

“It's Simone,” said Garrett, reaching up to squeeze her hand to comfort her as much as it was to comfort himself.

Lawson held her breath. “Who's that?”

“She's the one . . .”

Lawson rolled her eyes and finished his sentence. “She's the one you had the affair with, right?”

Garrett nodded. “Simone's been trying to get in touch with me, but I refused to return her calls after I told her it was over.”

Lawson stood back with her arms folded. “Okay, so why is she calling? Does she want seconds?”

Garrett looked down, then back up at Lawson. “No . . . honey.” He griped his wife's hands. “Simone is pregnant.”

Lawson slowly brought her hand to her mouth. She felt herself go light-headed. “Pregnant? Did I just hear you say that she's
pregnant?
”

“That's what she's claiming,” Garrett added quickly. “I haven't seen a doctor's report or gotten any kind of real confirmation.”

Stunned, Lawson simply said, “A baby? Another woman is having your baby?”

Lawson eased away from him, dazed. Garrett reached out for her. “Lawson, talk to me, baby! Tell me that we'll get through this. Baby, please . . .”

Lawson's whole world came crashing down on her. For a moment she couldn't breathe. Hot tears welled in her eyes and began streaming down her cheeks. “Congratulations.. . . I guess you're finally getting the child you wanted after all.”

As much as she loved Garrett, she knew it would take nothing short of a miracle for the fragile marriage to survive this time around.

 

 

Kina stood outside of Sullivan's room clutching a bouquet of pink balloons. She looked through the opened door at Reginell, Angel, and Charles doting on the newest addition to their circle. She longed to be a part of that again but knew her presence would feel more like an intrusion than a welcomed surprise.

She stopped one of the nurses passing by in the hallway. “Excuse me, ma'am? Can I trouble you for a second?”

“Yes, ma'am. Can I help you?”

Kina handed the balloons over to her. “Can you take these into room 314?”

“Are you sure you don't want to take them in yourself?”

Kina nodded. “Yeah, I'm sure . . . They look happy. I probably shouldn't interrupt.”

Kina thanked the nurse and headed in the opposite direction. She reached into her purse and pulled out the one-way plane tickets she purchased for herself and Kenny, determined to find a little happiness of her own. Maybe one day she could be as happy as the rest of her friends were . . . at least as happy as they appeared to be for now.