Authors: Sara Craven
you doing here? You cannot have wished
to come.'
'Why ever not?' she questioned coolly.
'Perhaps it hasn't worked out as I hoped,
but neither Grandfather nor I can be
blamed for that. And I did want to come
—because he asked me to. I don't know
if you have a family, Senor de Mendoza,
but if you do, it can't have escaped your
notice that you owe that family certain
obligations—and they can't be evaded
by running away. Besides ...' she
hesitated.
'Please continue.' His voice was icy.
Perhaps her remark about the evasion of
family obligations had struck home.
'Besides, it was the first favour
Grandfather had ever asked of me,' she
said in a low voice. 'The first time he'd
really acknowledged that I was a human
being, instead of a prettily dressed doll.'
'And that really mattered to you?' He
turned and stared at her, his mouth set
grimly. 'For that you were prepared to
set all other considerations aside? Didn't
it occur to you that you could be running
yourself into danger?'
'I don't think it did,' Rachel said in some
surprise. 'My main consideration, apart
from pleasing Grandfather, was the
effect it might have on my career.'
'Ah, yes.' He inclined his head slightly.
'Your career means a great deal to you.'
'It means everything,' she said shortly.
'Everything?'
His
voice
sounded
derisive. 'You are admirably single-
minded,
querida.
Tell me, has there
never been a man who has made you feel
there might be more to life than acting
the lives of others?'
Leigh's face came and went briefly in
her mind. Strange how little a wound she
had once thought incurable hurt now.
Perhaps the damage had been done to
her pride rather than her heart.
'No,' she said shortly, 'there's no one.'
Now why had she admitted that? she
wondered in dismay. It might have been
better to admit airily to a string of
lovers, some intuition told her.
'But that's enough about me,' she went on
hastily. 'What about you,
senor
? Have
you a quiet, crushed little wife hidden
away somewhere?'
'Why do you ask,
querida
?' he came
back smoothly. 'Are you afraid she might
find out about you and make a jealous
scene?'
'Not at all.' Rachel felt her heart was
beating uncomfortably fast. 'Although I
should imagine any woman foolish
enough to share your life on a permanent
basis would have a preponderance of
such scenes.'
'In that case,' he said drily, 'it is fortunate
that the unlucky Senora de Mendoza is
still a figment of your imagination,
chica.
You look almost relieved,' he
went on. 'Does the thought of my being
married disturb you?'
'Not in the slightest,' Rachel assured him
coldly. 'Why should it?'
'Why indeed?' he agreed silkily. His
hand came up and took her chin, turning
her face towards his, Flushing, she
jerked her head away.
'Please don't touch me!'
'That disturbs you also?'
'No, it doesn't,' Rachel snapped. 'I just
have—an aversion to being pawed
about.'
'Such a fuss about a casual contact.' His
lips twisted. 'Would you prefer me to
take you from your horse and make love
to you completely here at the side of the
trail?'
'No!' To her everlasting shame the word
was uttered as a kind of strangled yelp.
'Then don't provoke me by pretending
you find my caresses repulsive,' he said
coldly. 'We both know it is a he, and you
merely make things harder for yourself
by repeating it.'
Her cheeks burned, and her eyes filled
with angry tears. This was what it had
led to, that brief and fatal loss of self-
control back in that hotel bedroom in
Asuncion. If she had just kept her head—
slapped his face even—then she would
not be in this sordid impasse. But some
dark angel passing over in that moment
had made her want him, and made him
know it, and it would take every scrap of
ingenuity of which she was capable to
extricate herself from his clutches. It
was almost unbelievable, she thought,
that one moment of weakness should
have brought her almost to the brink of
disaster. .
And perhaps the most sobering thought
was that she couldn't think of one of her
friends who would understand her
resistance. Most of them, she knew,
would be only too happy after maybe a
token protest to submit to his dark
attraction, living only for the pleasure of
the moment, uncaring what heartache the
future might bring. She pulled, herself up
mentally. Why waste even a moment on
such thoughts? Vitas de Mendoza was
not interested in her feelings. All he
required was her willing co-operation in
bed, and that only for a short time, until
his fancy for her waned.
She felt the colour draining out of her
face as she realised for the first time the
way her thoughts were leading her. To a
realisation that if Vitas took her, she
would be taken for ever. That for her
there could be no transitory affair,
followed by a lighthearted parting. That
when her brief reign as his mistress
ended, as inevitably it would, her heart
might not only ache but bleed. That the
response she had been trying so hard to
deny would not be merely making love,
but loving. And that in that there would
be no future at all.
Imperceptibly her grip on the reins had
slackened, and when her horse stumbled,
she was nearly flung out of the saddle. It
was Vitas who saved her, his arm like a
bar of steel steadying her until she had
recovered her equilibrium.
'Dreaming in the saddle,
chica?'
he
asked jeeringly. 'That can be a quick
road to a broken neck—or perhaps that
is what you hoped.'
She was still half stunned by the
realisation which had come to her, but
he would attribute her wide, startled
eyes and parted lips to her near-
accident, she supposed. She rallied
herself swiftly.
'Hardly that,
senor.
I'm afraid I can't
honestly regard you or any man as a fate
worse than death.'
'Muy bien
,' he approved with a tinge of
mockery. 'But even a broken collar bone
could be an obstacle to my plans for you,
querida,
so take care.'
A warning, she thought drearily as she
gathered up her reins once more and
urged her horse forward up the slope,
that seemed to have come much too late.
They stopped for their midday rest on a
stretch of level ground, shaded by some
huge mossy boulders. Vitas had taken
one disgusted look in the saddle packs,
then produced some dried soup powder
from his own pack. The mixture that he
concocted
smelled
incredibly
appetising, but Rachel could not bring
herself to accept the mug that he brought
her.
'I'm not hungry,' she said half-
apologetically, shading her eyes against
the glare of the sun as she looked up at
him. 'I—I think my near-fall must have
shaken me more than I realised.'
It was a poor excuse, but any story
would do to camouflage the truth.
'You are ill?' He was frowning. He
looked incredibly tall against the sun.
'Oh, no,' she said hastily. 'At least,
perhaps just a little. It's the altitude.'
His frown deepened. 'I would not have
thought it would have affected you at this
level. But don't worry,
chica.
We have
no more climbing to do today.'
'I can't say I'm sorry to hear that,' she
said wryly. 'Yesterday, it was downhill
all the way, today, just the opposite.'
'Our mountain tracks are like that.' He
gave a .slight shrug. 'That is why it can
sometimes take days to journey between
places which on a map seem only a little
way apart.'
'And will it take us several days to reach
Diablo?' This time she did not meet his
eyes, and she heard him laugh softly.
'Didn't one of your countrymen once say
that it was better to travel hopefully than
to arrive,
querida
?' he mocked her. 'I
won't spoil the suspense by answering
your question. Now drink your soup. We
have a long ride before supper.' He set
tie mug down beside her and walked
away.
She stifled a little sigh as she watched
him go. She had never felt so confused in
her mind as she did at that moment, nor
so near to panic. She made herself pick
up the mug of soup and sip from it. The
warm, savoury flavour seemed to put
fresh heart into her, and heaven only
knew, she thought unhappily, she had
never needed it more.
There was a kind of terrible irony in
what had befallen her. She, Rachel
Crichton, the cool, the level-headed. The
girl who knew what she wanted from her
life, from her career, and how to get it.
Or thought she knew.
The girl too who knew what she wanted
from a man— knew that the only
tolerable relationship for her would be
based on respect and liking, physical
ardour commingled with companionship.
In her ideal relationship there would
have to be equality, she had always told
herself, and a recognition of herself as a
person in her own right, instead of
simply a decorative appendage to a
successful man.
That was what she wanted for herself,
she thought fiercely. Self-respect was
what mattered. That was why she had
never indulged in cheap, transitory
affairs.
Or at least that was what she had always
believed. Now, she had to ask herself
whether it was not because real
temptation had not crossed her path
before. Not even Leigh, who had wanted
to be her lover, had ever managed to
elicit from her the sort of response
which Vitas—a stranger—had achieved
almost at their first encounter.
The admission might shame her, but it
was the truth. From the moment she had
set eyes on him, she had been
bewildered and a little frightened by her
awareness of him as a man—she, whose
life was spent in a glamorous world
peopled by attractive men. If she'd ever
given the slightest impression that she
was in the market for some casual
lovemaking, there would have been no
shortage of eager applicants, she knew.
And perhaps one of those casual affairs
might have blossomed into something
more permanent and lasting. She knew of
a number of successful marriages which
had been created from such tenuous
beginnings.
'But not this,' she whispered under her
breath. 'Never this.'
She finished the soup and set down the
mug, before rising to her feet and
stretching wearily. The long hours in the
saddle were tiring, and perhaps her
fabrication about the altitude had not
been so far from the truth after all. It was
good to feel the ground solid between
her feet and take a look at her
surroundings from her own level.
Glancing back the way they had come,
she was amazed to see how the high tops
of
the
trees
formed
an
almost
impenetrable mass. It was as if they
were the first people ever to take this
mountain trail. During the entire morning
they had not set eyes on any sign of
human life other than their own, and the
realisation of how completely alone they
were gave her an eerie feeling.
Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad if
they'd been able to share the normal
camaraderie of two travellers, but that
was impossible. There were too many
tensions between them for that.