First and Goal (Moving the Chains #1) (44 page)

The war lost, all I can do now is wait for the aftershocks to subside, and regroup as best I can. Life goes on as it always does. No one will be the wiser to my suffering. With each dress rehearsal, my acting gets better. I hope.

He called and texted mercilessly yesterday, begging me to talk to him. There was nothing more to say. I’m not her, I told him that night. That’s the plain truth. When he resorted to apologizing profusely for his behavior, I turned my phone off. Seeing written in words that he was sorry he kissed me in her place hurt more than anything. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when I kissed him. How can I fault him for pretending when that’s exactly what I did too? When I woke up to the sound of him moaning in his sleep, his erection pulsing under my head, I lost control. Plain and simple. I kissed him while he dreamt of someone else. And then in his half-awake state in front of his door, I pretended for a bit longer. Until he apologized. It was more of a slap to the face than the physical act.

I never responded to him, going into work on autopilot. I was so, so grateful that he didn’t show up there. My role as functional human being was tenuous at best. I needed that full day to finish gluing myself back together in preparation for today. Still, it didn’t stop me from crying myself to sleep last night. My tears helped wash away the remnants of his assault on my fragile illusion.

I’m standing at my locker, staring blankly at its contents. My only goal is to mentally ready myself for the barrage of seeing him today and having to pretend everything is fine. Honor Society inductions are this morning, so I can avoid his proximity in calc. I’ll be on the stage, delivering the welcome address as if my heart isn’t broken beyond repair. He’ll be in the back with the other senior members. Probably sitting as close to Dream Girl as his courage will allow. Unless she’s one of my fellow officers. Maybe she’ll be sitting closer to me than she will to him.

My clothing, makeup, and hair this morning were all carefully chosen and executed as armor to further bolster the average viewer’s opinion that I am completely in control of myself. I have to look the part of the president after all. I’m counting on the pain from wearing these heels all day to keep me focused on the task at hand. Masochism much? Why yes, thank you.

I’m startled from my mental grief by a warm hand on my waist and soft words in my ear. “Evie, we need to talk.”

With a carefully controlled mask of neutrality, I turn to face Rob. Looking down on me at this proximity, his expression can only be described as tortured. Most of our classmates will probably be so thrown off by the sight of him in dress pants and a crisp, white button-down shirt, that it’ll go unnoticed.

“I can’t. I have to get to the auditorium to finish setting things up for inductions. I’m sure I’ll see you there.” I’m proud of myself for keeping my voice so calm and even. After all, we’ll still have to sit next to each other and work together until the end of this quarter. Complete avoidance isn’t an option.

“How is your ankle today?” Good. I can still fake it with the best of them.

“It could be broken, and I wouldn’t notice or care. Please, just give me five minutes to explain.” He looks awful which makes absolutely no sense, but I do know this: if he loses his cool, I will too. And I don’t have time for that. I have to deliver an address to over 200 students in about a half hour.

“Maybe later. I can’t do this right now.”

“All right,” he concedes. “But you can’t put me off forever.”

Oh, I can certainly try.

My speech delivered flawlessly and back in the safety of my assigned seat, I’ve had my eyes carefully trained on Mrs. Hall. She drones on and on about the virtues of membership into this exclusive, little club. Everyone knows damn well it has virtually no meaning in life other than looking good on college applications. I fake a convincing smile and nod my head in all the appropriate places to set a good example for the freshmen I’m about to induct.

When I get up to begin the pinning ceremony, my eyes are drawn to the one place in the auditorium I’ve been purposely avoiding. Jeremy and Chase laugh boisterously in the back row. Alex and Rob glare at some of the juniors seated just ahead of them. The behavior is uncharacteristically backwards for my expectations of that odd little group. Especially since the only reason Chase is in my circle of friends is because the jocks blacklisted him for coming out last year. I’m left wondering what in the hell is going on back there as I go through the motions of my duties on stage.

Inductions are finally over, so I’m mingling with the other students. It’s expected of me to offer congratulations to our newest members and talk about upcoming activities.

Luke, one of the juniors that was laughing with Jeremy and Chase, approaches me. His steps are measured with purpose. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rob standing close by. He leans against a chair with his arms crossed over his chest, his expression unreadable. Chase and Jeremy are next to him, chuckling and pointing at me. It’s not hard to guess what’s about to go down here with Luke. Alex seems to be caught in the middle. He’s watching with anticipation to see what will unfold, but not as jovial about it as my own friends. Jess and Alyssa join the group. Their tight mouths and narrowed eyes show that they do not approve of the guys’ meddling.

“Hey Eva, you look amazing today.”

I tear my eyes off the weirdness a few feet away to focus on the guy standing in front of me. “Thank you. Can I help you with something, Luke?”

I’m experienced enough in the art of saying no that this will be as easy as the rest. This whole situation is obviously a setup. That explains what I witnessed during the ceremony, and my idiot friends practically crying with laughter nearby while Alyssa…pats Rob’s arm? What the hell?

“I certainly hope so. Homecoming’s in a few weeks. I wanted to ask you before anyone else gets the chance. Everyone knows about your no jocks rule, but I think we both know I’m not a jock. So how about it?” His manner is beyond confident.

“Thank you for the offer. I’m flattered, really. But I’m not planning on going to Homecoming. I already volunteered to work that night, so that all the other girls can go with their dates.” It’s not a lie, exactly. It just hasn’t happened yet. Homecoming isn’t for another month. That schedule hasn’t even been made at work.

“Oh, okay. If you change your mind, let me know. I did ask first and all.” He walks away with a wink, seemingly no worse for the wear.

I try not to be a bitch to the guys who don’t deserve it. Luke’s cocky attitude made my temper flare a bit, but I know that the real blame lies with Jeremy and Chase. I stalk over to them as quickly and menacingly as I can in three-inch heels, watching a smirk spread across Rob’s face.

“You two are going to get it.” I see him say before I’m close enough to even hear the words.

By the time I’m standing in front of them, I’m so fuming mad that I don’t know who to punch first. I hit all four of them in succession, saving Rob for last. Touching him in any way needs to be forbidden to me. I don’t want to make it look too obvious to everyone else though.

Jess and Alyssa laugh at my predictable reaction, taking turns telling the boys that they got what they deserved and should be ashamed of themselves.

“What the hell? What did I do?” Alex rubs his chest like a baby.

“I know you were all in on it. I could actually see you from the stage, you know.”

“What? You know you’re gonna be on court, so it’s time to start exploring the possibilities.” Chase has clearly lost his freaking mind. But of course, he would be obsessed with making sure we all have dates for something so far in advance. The poor guy knows his chances of landing a date are slim to none. In spite of all the hurtful rumors about people’s sexualities around here, the gay population is slim. Even I can’t deny him the chance to live vicariously.

“Well, I’ll tell you what I told him. I’m planning on working, so the other girls can go. Don’t bother trying to fix me up with anyone else.” At least this little circus helps take my mind off the other elephant in the room.

Alyssa pulls Jeremy away by the arm, so she can bitch at him for his involvement privately. Chase shakes his head at me, giving me a wink and a knowing smirk that I can’t decipher. Jess physically drags him away as well. Alex gives Rob’s shoulder a sympathetic squeeze before loping up the ramp to exit the auditorium. There’s more than one setup going on here this morning.

“What? Do they all know you want to talk to me or something?” I thumb at the four of our friends who are still standing afar. The crowd in the room thins out, the excuse for missing class having expired.

“Yeah. They do.” He hasn’t moved from his original position, still leaning against the chair at the end of the row, arms crossed over his chest, one ankle crossed over the other. He seems to be floundering for where to begin. I really don’t want to hear this now. Or ever. But I know it has to happen, so I’d rather have it on my terms.

“Listen, I’m sorry about Saturday.” There’s no way I can look at his face. I’ll lose my resolve, and I know it. “I shouldn’t have behaved that way, and I apologize. I know we have to be bio partners for the rest of the quarter. I don’t want there to be any hard feelings or awkwardness between us. But I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.”

I instantly regret making the mistake of looking up at him. His blue eyes are awash in pain. God, I suck.

“I understand,” he replies quietly.

“I, um, I wish we could still be friends. And maybe after a while we can. But I just…I can’t help you with Dream Girl anymore. And I definitely can’t be your practice run anymore. I…”

“Enough.” He effectively cuts me off. He grabs my hand and pulls me to him, resting his hands on my hips. “You were never a practice run, Evie.”

He blinks a few times, takes a deep breath, and chews on his bottom lip. I stare up at him, shocked.

What in the honest fuck is going on here?

“I don’t know where our wires got crossed on Saturday, but apparently they did. I thought I was clear enough, but I guess I wasn’t. This is all my fault anyway. Maybe if I’d just grown a pair that day when Jeremy put all this in your head, none of this would ever have happened. But honestly, you still make me so nervous, and you’re just so far out of my league. Even though you keep denying it, I know something worse happened with you and Eddie. I don’t want to scare you anymore than I already have. Then when you told me about the guy you’ve been waiting on forever, I just didn’t know how to compete with that. I should’ve just told you from the beginning. I don’t blame you if you hate me, or feel like I lied to you, or if you never speak to me again. But even if that’s the case, I have to tell you now.”

He stops to breathe, closing his eyes. I’d like to say something, get in a word edgewise. He’s rushing and rambling, not really making much sense. All I can do is gape up at him and wait for whatever bomb he’s about to drop on me.

He opens his eyes and meets my gaze head on. Those honest blue-green irises sparkle and steal my breath away just like the first day we met. He cups his hand against my cheek and leans down so that our faces are only separated by a breath. “
You
have always been my dream girl, Evie.”

His eyes roam all over my face, studying me, waiting for some kind of reaction. My brain is absolutely stuck on pause.

Does not compute.

He kisses my mouth oh so gently and leaves me dazed. My gaze follows his tall, muscular form up the ramp and out the door. He never once looks back. I guess he wanted to leave the ball in my court. I’m still blinking at nothing when Jess and Alyssa are on either side of me, each wrapping an arm around me.

“I’d have that look on my face if Rob Falls had just kissed me too. And you owe me a pair of shoes, bitch.”

“You okay?” Alyssa is always subtler than Jess.

“I honestly don’t know.”

How is a person supposed to feel when all their wishes come true?