First and Goal (Moving the Chains #1) (39 page)

I release my arms and take a few tentative steps in his direction until I’m looking down over him. This is a different view than I’m used to; I’m always looking up into his face, courtesy of our height difference. I glance at his ankle and then back at his eyes, raising my eyebrow in silent question. I can’t manage to use my voice, apparently.

He doesn’t answer, but raises his hand to find mine. He gently brushes his fingertips from my wrist to the ends of my fingers as if I’m some sort of apparition. He silently intertwines his fingers with mine, staring at our joined hands in seeming confusion. I wonder just how many of those pills his mother did give him.

“Rob,” I whisper, unwilling to disturb the stillness that surrounds us. “Are you okay?”

His eyes snap up to mine. He still seems unsure that I’m real. “Why are you in my house?”

His question elicits a genuine laugh that bubbles up from the pit of my stomach. I squeeze his hand gently as I remember asking him a similar question not so long ago. “Oh, you know. I was in the neighborhood. Thought I’d just drop by and see if I couldn’t catch you divulging embarrassing things to Alex while I listened quietly and laughed about it. But since Alex isn’t here, have anything you want to share?”

I gaze down at his ankle again, then back at him expectantly.

He laughs lightly, but it still doesn’t sound quite right. “Yeah, lots.”

“Well?” I prompt, squeezing his hand again to get his attention.

He seems to be drifting. Still no response.

“How’s the ankle? No cast means it’s not broken, right?”

He snaps out of it a bit. “Oh, uh, no. Not broken. Mild sprain. Twenty-four hours of RICE, and I’ll be back at practice on Monday.”

He’s on some pretty hefty pain killers for just a sprain. But I’m no doctor, so okay.

“Well, that’s good. I’m glad to hear that.” I smile down at him which elicits a small one from him in return as he gazes up at me.

“I thought you were mad at me?”

I was a total bitch last night and irrationally so. “I wasn’t. I’m not. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m really sorry I was such a jerk yesterday.” He furrows his brow and turns his eyes towards the television without watching it. “I shouldn’t have said anything about your clothes, or made you do the senior game. I’m really sorry about what I said last year. I wasn’t trying to embarrass you or mess up your chances with your crush. I was just trying to make Eddie out to be the liar he is.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m really sorry, Evie.”

“That’s…” Not what I was pissed about last night at the game at all. Okay, maybe a little about the pep rally. “I just, um, don’t want to see you ruin your chances with Dream Girl because of me, is all. I wasn’t really mad at you. I was mad about…something else.”

She better have been upset last night. And she better get her ass over here to check on him. Or call him. Or something.

“What?” He looks up at me quizzically.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” I glance at my watch. I have to be at work in forty-five minutes, but it’s a twenty-minute drive from here and I like to get there early. “Hey listen, I have to go. I’ve gotta be at work soon. I’m glad you’re okay.”

I give him a small smile and turn to leave only to be tugged down onto his lap. His arms wrap tightly around me. He’s pretty much cradling me like a child. It’s still such an odd experience to not completely panic over how much bigger he is than me.

“Rob, let go. I know you’re kinda stoned right now, but I have to go to work.”

He brings his face to mine, his eyes closed. “Evie, am I scaring you? Please say no.”

“No.” Well, a little.

“I’m not gonna let you go until you tell me what I did last night. I won’t know not to do it again if you don’t tell me what I did wrong.” He whispers, but the unmistakable tone of begging pulls at my heart. Seriously, how could she not want this?

“You didn’t do anything; I already told you. Now please let me up.”

He sighs and rests his forehead against mine. His warm breath fans across my face. His scent envelopes me.

I remember how safe I felt in his car on Wednesday, but this…this is something wholly different. Better. Like the night of the bonfire. Something I can’t get used to. It’s not mine to have. Never has been, never will be.

“I, uh…” He seems to be weighing what to say which is odd, considering his altered behavior. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I honestly didn’t think you’d get so upset if I got hurt.” He shrugs, his usual habit. “It’s football. We get injured all the time. Part of the game.”

“I wasn’t upset,” I lie. Hopefully, he won’t catch that since he’s already being so weird.

Rob opens his eyes and pulls his head back to study me. I get the distinct impression that even through his drug-induced haze, he can see right through me just like that first week in the diner.

“You wouldn’t even look at me for the rest of the night.”

“I wasn’t mad at you, I promise.” Another lie.

“Then what happened? Did Chelsie do or say something to you?”

“No.”

He gives me a look, calling me out.

“Chelsie didn’t say anything to me last night. Seriously."

“I’m not letting you go until you tell me. So you either better plan on calling off work and getting comfortable, or you’re gonna have to tell me something that isn’t a lie.”

I could definitely get comfortable right here, but that isn’t an option. The fact that he can so easily tell when I’m not being truthful is a very real concern. That’s dangerous. I doubt that he really wants to know that Jeremy spilled his little secret last night. Or that I want to beat the shit out of the girl he’s in love with. The one who seems to care so little for him in return.

“It was nothing. I’m just irrational this time of the month. And you’re once again letting me sit on top of you which is so gross. I’m banking on you not noticing anything since you’re doped up. So just let it, and me, go.”

“You’re actually one of the most rational people I know when you tell me what your reasons are. Try again.” He smirks at me, refusing to even address that he can probably feel my pad on his lap. Ick.

I sigh, looking anywhere but at him. Fine. If he wants to play hardball, then I’ll play. I’ve gotta get to work sometime. I meet his eyes with all seriousness. He returns my gaze with a furrowed brow and worried expression.

“Did she call or text you at all since last night? Check to see if you were okay?”

He expression screams confusion.

Maybe he doesn’t understand the question with all the drugs floating through his brain. “Dream Girl, Rob? Has she checked to see if you’re okay?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

I so do not want to have this conversation. “You know I’ve been trying to figure out who she is. I thought last night at the game she would give herself away somehow. Pay more attention when you were on the field the way Chelsie does with Mike. Glare daggers at me for doing the senior game with you. Something. When you got injured, I figured she’d be upset. Even if she’s playing hard to get with you.”

He’s just staring at me with that dumbfounded look again.

I go on gently. “Rob, I still don’t know who she is.”

He opens his mouth to speak, but just continues to gaze silently at my face instead. I don’t want to be harsher and hurt him, but the more I think about the way she treats him, the more I want to strangle her.

“I mean, I know you told her you were okay. So if she’s just one of those people that stays calm and cool instead of getting all emotional, then that’s all right. Everyone’s different. Just tell me that’s how she is, and I’ll apologize for thinking she’s not good enough. But last night? Yeah. I was pissed that she didn’t seem to care. And that you were still so sweet about it by turning around and trying to calm her down. I’m sorry if I was wrong.” I shrug, studying his shirt because there’s no way I can look at him.

He tries to guide my face up with his hand under my chin, but I refuse. I feel too awful about hating on Dream Girl to look at his face.

“She was upset. I know she was,” he whispers.

“How could you tell? Because I sure as hell couldn’t.”

“She was crying.”

I look up at him, my eyebrow raised. He’s got my curiosity at least. “How could you tell? Did Jeremy lie to me? Is she not in band after all?”

His fingertip glides up and down my cheek from temple to jaw. I resist the urge to shudder. He’s being so weird today.

His whispered, smooth voice rolls over me like the softest blanket. “He didn’t lie to you. And I could tell because I could see the tears on her cheeks.”

“I’m sorry then.” My eyes go back to studying his shirt. “I guess I just missed it. Told you I was probably just being irrational. Bleeding profusely will do that to a person.”

He laughs softly which is another odd reaction.

“At least tell me who she is. So the next time you do something stupid with me in front of the whole school, I’ll know who hates me and why. I spent part of the game wondering who was going to yell at me in the parking lot for using you as my personal donkey.”

He throws his head back against the couch, laughing so hard that it shakes me against him. “I think you’re safe.”

He looks at me with that same stupid smirk that he always wears.

Now I’m just getting irritated. I really need to go. “Just tell me who she is already!”

The smile slides off his face. “Same deal applies, Eva. Tell me yours, and I’ll tell you mine.”

“We’re done here then.” The harder I try to get up, the tighter his hold grows around my waist.

“Why do you get so angry with me for keeping secrets, but you feel it’s perfectly okay for you to do the same thing?”

“Because I’m trying my damndest to forget that guy, and you insist on constantly reminding me!” I throw my hands up, barely missing his face. He jerks his head back quickly, but his expression remains calm.

“Do you want to forget about him because of Hinton?” he asks quietly. “You don’t think you could be with anyone else after that?”

I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest defensively. “No. I’m just not about to put myself in the same situation ever again.”

“All right, I respect that. But not all guys are like him. Do you not trust this other guy?”

“It’s not that,” I sigh. I don’t want to talk about this with Rob of all people. The whole thing is ludicrous as it always has been. Maybe even more so after everything that’s happened.

“Then, what? If you’ve liked the guy for so long, he must be decent enough. If it’s not about what happened last year, then why won’t you let yourself go for it? If you insist on helping me, then I’ll be happy to return the favor.” He’s being completely serious which only makes me more uncomfortable. There’s no good outcome to be had from any scenario in which Rob is involved.

“Wait just a damn minute. You’re not actually letting me help you. You’re continually too scared to just come out and do what I’ve blatantly told you would win her over. I know you feel like she isn’t responding to you, but I’m telling you…it’s because you’re not making as much effort as you think you are. And you keep setting yourself up to fail by constantly using me as some sort of shield. You’re giving her the wrong idea and sending mixed signals. It’s no wonder she doesn’t know what to think.”

“We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. Nice try though.”

God, he is infuriating. He just won’t let things go.

“We shouldn’t be talking at all. I need to go.”

“Okay. You won’t tell me who he is, I get it. At least tell me why you’re punishing yourself.”

“I’m not punishing myself! And he’s not punishing me, either! He’s a great guy! But he’s interested in somebody else, all right? Happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“No,” he admits quietly. His eyes are cast down, hopefully in shame.

“Now let me go. I’m not talking about this with you ever again, so don’t ask.”

“I understand. I’m sorry, Evie. For the record, I think he’s crazy. No one can hold a candle to you.”

I roll my eyes and give up fighting against his vice grip around me. He’s not hurting me, but I’m well aware until he lets go, I’m stuck here.

“Yeah well, a lot of good that does me,” I scoff.

He takes a deep, shuddering breath. The kind that speaks of absolute agony. Maybe his pain meds are wearing off with all the fighting. Serves him right, the asshole.

And…cue guilt.

“So you know, take it from me,” I start again, softening. “Don’t wait any more. You’ve already waited long enough. If you say you’ve done all the other steps already, and she really was upset that you were hurt last night, then just go straight for eleven and twelve. She won’t say no, Rob.” A soft laugh escapes my lips. “No one would say no to you. Not the real you anyway.”

He sucks in his lips, distress written across his features. “She would. I thought maybe…but I was wrong.”

As angry as I am with him, I can’t ignore the sympathy that I have for both his physical and mental pain. “Who is this girl? Is she even human?”

I laugh and nudge him, trying to cheer him up. Seeing him without his usual smirk and sparkling eyes isn’t as pleasing as I once used to think it would be.

He chuckles at my attempted joke, meeting my eyes. “She’s perfect. But even after everything I’ve tried, she still doesn’t want me. Not that way. I can’t have her. She’s unattainable.”

I brush my fingers through his hair which is still sticking up in all directions from his nap. In this moment, in the privacy of his own home, he’s made himself completely vulnerable to me. His physical size and strength are no barriers to his emotional frailty. Now, more than ever, I see the boy I once knew.

“I’m sure she is attainable. And you can have her. Trust me. Just tell her, Rob. All you have to do is tell her. No more games.”

He looks away. “I can’t, Evie. I can’t do it.”

“Yes, you can. You’ve gotta at least try, right? You could be missing out on something really great…” I lead him.

“I’ll think about it, all right? No promises though.”

He relaxes his hold around my waist, but I’m still playing with his hair. I came over here to make sure he was okay. All I’ve done is upset him. I’m no better than Dream Girl after all.