Finding Us (23 page)

“I have a sister?” I whisper.

Marie shakes her head and looks down at her hands. “No sweetie, you are that little girl.”

The blood swooshes in my ears and my vision blurs. The room spins so fast I can’t see straight. My mother is Marie? How is this possible? It isn’t. It can’t be. I need to get the hell out of here.

I attempt to stand but my body doesn’t seem to want to move. Marie lays a hand on my arm and I flinch away.

“Jasmine, just listen to me, listen to the whole story. I will answer all your questions when I’m finished, I promise.” Marie begs. “A switch went off in Michael the day you were born. He demanded that I sign over my rights to him. He convinced me that I wouldn’t be able to give you the life you deserved. The only reason I agreed to do it is because Michael promised that I could keep my job and also be a nanny to you. I was left with no choice, I didn’t have any money to fight him in court and I didn’t have a place to live. I was desperate and took whatever I could get to stay in your life.”

I covered my ears, not wanting to hear anymore. I needed her to stop, I couldn’t take anymore. My whole life has been nothing but a lie. I got up from the couch and stumbled into the kitchen. I needed a drink and I need something strong. I fumbled around until I found where the alcohol had been moved to. I pulled out the vodka and took a few long pulls. I sat down at the table and let the numbness take over. A few minutes later Marie came in and pulled two shot glasses out of the cabinet and set them in front of me.

“Those aren’t big enough.”

Marie sighs, “I know sweetie, I know.”

I pour her a shot and pushed it towards her. I picked up the bottle and took a few more gulps.

Marie apparently wasn’t done destroying my life. “Vivian was barren and only Michael knew that after years of trying to get pregnant themselves.” Marie lets out a pathetic laugh, “Michael told Vivian about the affair and convinced her that this was an answer to their prayers. Michael helped Vivian stage her pregnancy. Vivian never left the house after fifteen weeks. She shut everyone out claiming she was having a very high risk pregnancy. After I gave birth at the house Vivian and Michael started letting their family and friends back into their lives and Vivian took on being your mother.”

Marie pours herself another shot, “I was devastated, depressed and all alone. Many nights I thought about taking you and just running away but I knew Michael would stop at nothing to find us and I would lose you forever. Eventually I pulled myself out of my depression when I realized that Vivian was starting to drink heavily. I found her passed out more times than I could remember while you were in your crib screaming and crying.” Marie takes her shot and grimaces. “After a while things fell into place. Michael and Vivian for the most part ignored you, which I thanked the lord for every day. When you started getting older they involved you in some way in their events. They were showing a strong family front when it was anything but. As years passed and you turned into a beautiful young lady, Michael and Vivian started dictating your life, telling you what you could and couldn’t do. I hated every second of that but my hands were tied. I know you wanted to go to Julliard but they refused to even hear of it. I knew why Michael refused; he wanted you to take over his company one day. It was so hard for me to not see your dreams come true. When you went away to college it was extremely hard on me; I knew it was good for you but our time together came to an end.”

The vodka is doing a good job at numbing the pain. I’m hurt, pissed off, and disgusted. My father, no not my father, a father would never come up with a scam like this. He would do what was right; he would never deny his daughter from knowing her mother. I know Marie but only the basics. I’m so confused about how I feel. The need to go for a run is becoming stronger and stronger by the second.

Marie stood up and walked over to the sliding glass doors off the kitchen. “After you graduated from college and never came home I was really worried. I begged Michael to tell me where you were or how to get in touch with you but he just kept telling me that he had no idea. I thought he was trying to keep you away from me. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and reached out to Summer’s parents. It took some convincing for them to tell me any information but Summer’s mom spilled that you and Summer were perfectly fine and living in New York City. I was so proud of you for turning your back on your demanding father and making a life for yourself. I knew that you had your trust fund from Michael’s father so I knew you would be able to make it on your own for a while.”

I did have his money and I’m thankful for that. There was no other way that I could have made it without it.

Speaking for the first time, “Marie, I’m going to go lie down for a few minutes.” I go up to my old bedroom, hoping it’s still the way I left. I open the first door on the right side, I don’t bother turning the light switch on. There is plenty of light coming in from the windows. My room is the exact way I left it, boy band posters still taped to the walls. I lie down on top of my bed and let all of the shit that she just threw at me sink in.

I have at least one decent parent now. Marie was always there for me no matter what. Michael and Vivian are scum to me now and I’ll never have to deal with them in my life again after today.

I’m not sure how I feel about Marie being my mother. I understand why she did what she did but how come once I left she didn’t come looking for me if she knew where I was?

I’ve been up here for probably close to an hour when Marie comes knocking on the door, “Come in.”

Marie steps into my room, “Are you ok?”

I throw a hand over my eyes, “I’m still processing everything.”

The bed dips as Marie sits down. “I’m so sorry Jasmine, but it was time you knew the truth.”

“I know, I understand.”

Marie reaches over and rubs my arm, “Do you have any questions?”

I sit up and lean back against the headboard. “You said you have a sister which means I actually have an aunt, uncle and cousin. I’d like to meet them one day. Would that be ok?”

Marie starts to cry all over again. Her eyes are so red and bloodshot. I haven’t cried yet but I know I will tonight.

“I’d love for you to meet them. My sister and her husband moved out to California a few years ago.” Marie takes a deep breath. “Your cousin Savanna passed away in an accident about five years ago. Remember that one time I took that week off and you begged me not to leave you?”

I nod, remembering that Marie never took time off work which explains why now.

“Oh God,” Marie looked away from me, “Your cousin was driving with her boyfriend’s parents to South Carolina. She was a couple of months pregnant and her boyfriend was going to propose to her that weekend. They never made it. They were hit from behind by a drunk driver going eighty miles an hour. Jasmine, that drunk driver was Vivian, and sweetheart,” Marie sniffles, “Savanna’s boyfriend’s name was Knox Mitchell.”

I jump up from the bed and run into the bathroom and throw up my breakfast. This can’t be happening to me. Once I’m sure everything is up I set back against the tub. Marie hands me a wash cloth and I take it to wipe my face.

“So Vivian killed Savanna?”

Marie slides down the wall and sits next to me on the floor. “Yup and she got away with it. Your father hired big time lawyers and somehow got it swept under the rug.”

“So she never paid for killing three people,” I flinch, “four people?”

Marie shakes her head.

“Do you think that there is a chance that Knox knows who I am?” My stomach rolls but I take a few deep breaths and calm myself down.

Marie nods her head, “I think there is a good chance.”

Fuck!

I climb to my feet and brush my teeth with a toothbrush from the drawer. When I’m done I walk into my old room and glance at the clock. Its late afternoon. “I don’t want to be here when they come home. Can we go to your house?”

Marie smiles and nods quickly. “Let’s go now so that we don’t run into them.”

I wake up early Saturday morning and head over to Jasmine’s apartment. I can’t take it anymore and I need to explain to her what happened.

When I arrive at Jasmine’s I knock a few times and no one answers. I lean my back against the door and slide down. I kick my legs out in front of me and wait for her to come home. I can’t leave here without telling her the truth.

An hour or so passes and Summer steps off the elevator and stops abruptly. “What are you doing here?”

I stand up and brush my ass off. “I need to talk to Jasmine.”

Summer narrows her eyes at me. “She’s not here and even if she was she wouldn’t talk to you. Just leave her alone Knox.”

“I’m not leaving until I talk to her.”

Summer glares at me, “You’re going to be waiting a while. She went home.”

“Home?”

“Do you need a hearing aid? Yes, home.”

“This is her home.”

Summer groans, “Knox, seriously you’ve done enough damage. Just leave things be okay. I’ll tell her you stopped by.”

She steps into the apartment and slams the door in my face. I deserve that.

I need to get to Jasmine, why would she go home?

I spend the night at Marie’s because I’m mentally exhausted, had a little too much vodka and can’t drive the few hours back to New York.

The first call I make is to Marcus, to ask him to fill in for me tomorrow. I explain that I am dealing with some family issues and he agrees.

The second call I make is to Summer to let her know that I wasn’t coming home.

“Are you okay?” She asks, genuinely concerned.

I bite on my lip hard. “No. Summer,” I cry. “Everything is so messed up. I don’t even know what’s real and what’s not anymore.”

“Oh Jas, what happened? Was your dad involved after all?” Summer questions me.

I spend the next half hour explaining to my best friend that Vivian isn’t my real mother but Marie is. I tell her how my dad manipulated Marie into giving him custody, and him and Vivian claiming I was theirs because Marie had no one way of taking care of me on her own. I tell her that I’ve got family on Marie’s side and then I drop the bombs on her. I tell her what happened to my cousin and that Vivian killed my cousin.

“Holy fuck Jasmine, this is like some Jerry Springer shit.”

I huff, “Yeah well I’m not finished yet. Savanna’s boyfriend’s name was Knox Mitchell.”

Summer sharply inhales, “Get the fuck out of here.”

My eyes tear up again. “I can’t believe it Summer, he knows that Vivian killed his parents and his pregnant girlfriend, but why didn’t he ever tell me?”

“Jasmine, he stopped over earlier and I told him to get lost.”

Figures, now he wants to come over and talk when I’ve just been told something that has changed my entire life. I could really use him right now but that will never happen again until he can explain himself to me. Make me understand what it is that he’s up to.

“Thanks Summer. I’ll be home in the morning.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I get up early the next morning since I didn’t sleep well. Marie sets out two bowls, spoons and a box of Special K when I walk into the kitchen and sit at the table.

“I thought Michael hired Knox to keep an eye on me. I found out the other day that Knox owns the building that I live and work in. I thought it was suspicious and since Knox isn’t speaking to me I thought I would try my dad.”

“Jasmine, I don’t even know what to say. I want to help you but I’m not sure how.” Marie says as she pushes around her cereal in her bowl.

“I’m not sure there is anything you can do to help me. I need to talk to Knox and figure some things out.”

Marie nods and takes a mouthful of cereal. When I’m finished I take my bowl to the sink and clean it out, leaving it in the drain board to dry. Marie is still eating her cereal, staring off into space.

“Well,” Marie twists her head in my direction, “I’m out of here. I need to go find Knox and figure out what the hell is going on.”

Marie stands and wraps her arms around me and sniffles a few times. “Will you come back to visit me? I wish we could spend more time together.”