Finding My Way (41 page)

The morning bleeds
into afternoon and before long we are all ready and waiting for the limo to
arrive.  Kat has to be the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. 
Her dress is exquisite and her hair subtly arranged over one shoulder. 
Tears have been wept, pictures snapped and champagne drunk when Ethan re-enters
the house with Dad following closely behind him.

“The guys are ready
and waiting at the reception.  Mum
are
you ready
to go?”  Ethan stops short at the sight of the entire wedding party
standing in the kitchen.  “Wow.”  I can’t help but notice his eyes
linger on April.

“What
a sight, hey Ethan?
  Look at all these beautiful women!”  Dad
eyes widen with a look of wonder.  “Kat, you are breathtaking
darling,” he says as he gives her a hug.

“Thank you Brian, you
scrub up alright yourself,” Kat replies as he ends their embrace.  He
then works his charms across Erin, then April and then comes to me.

“My
beautiful girl.”
 
I notice his
eyes are slightly watery as he pulls me in for a hug too.

“My
Dad the softie.”
 
I give him hard
squeeze before he turns his attentions to my Mum. 

“My darling Anna, as
gorgeous as the first days I laid eyes on you.”

“Okay Brian, how much
have you had to drink already?”  Mum laughs and swats him away but not
before I see the love for him set deep in her eyes.

“I’ve had nothing
yet, unlike you all hopped up on champagne!”  He laughs.

“Limo’s here!  Let’s
get this show on the road!”  Chris calls, rubbing his hands together as he
enters the kitchen.

“
Ahh
!
  It’s time!  I can’t believe this is
finally happening!”  Kat squeals excitedly and downs the rest of her
champagne.

“You better believe
it baby!”  I give her a one armed squeeze as we head out of the
house.  In the driveway, we pose for more photos and I pull my phone from
my little evening bag that I brought along.  I get Mum to take a couple of
photos of me by myself.  I scroll through them finding the best shot and
then go about deleting the others and I am about to send Nick my promised
message when we are hustled into the limo.
 
So I tuck my phone back in my bag to do it later and then give my bag to
Mum for safekeeping so I can hold my small bouquet instead.

The anticipation is
palpable as the limo pulls into the reception centre.  Cars are everywhere
and the sun is shining brightly, it’s a glorious September spring day. 
Lucky as the ceremony will be held outside in the garden.  I lean across
the car and give Kat’s hand a squeeze.  She beams at me and then turns her
attentions to the person sitting beside her, holding her other hand, her Dad.

“I am so proud of you
Katherine.  You make the most beautiful bride I have ever seen.” 
Then as an afterthought he adds, “Don’t tell your mother I said that.” 
Chris smiles at his daughter and I see the tears brimming in his eyes as he
lifts her hand to his lips and kisses it.  Of course, that makes my eyes
water and I have to look away so I don’t ruin my make-up before the ceremony.

I finish filling the
family in on the whole surprising turn of events of my Friday night and then
take a seat at the outdoor setting. 
Tahlia
sits
opposite me as we pile our plates with barbeque food.

“So Max is
gonna
be your landlord now?  I guess you won’t have to
worry about keeping the place tidy, the guy’s a pig.” 
Tahlia
pulls a face as she says that last word.

“I hadn’t thought
about that.  But I think I might look for somewhere else to live anyway.” 
I shrug.

“Why don’t you just
move back in here Seth?  You know you could save a tonne of money.” 
Dad pipes up.  “We won’t cramp your style.”

“Yes honey, you could
get a deposit for your own house in no time.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well the offer’s
there.  We’ll even let you bring Emma over occasionally.”  Mum
wriggles her eyebrows at me.  It’s moments like these I remember why I
didn’t want to share my first date with my sister;
Tahlia’s
big mouth has caused my parents to get carried away.  My parents haven’t
even met her yet and they’re already making assumptions that Emma is my
girlfriend.  As much as I wish that were true I’m beginning to wonder if
it will ever be the case.  I haven’t spoken to her in a couple of days and
she never replied to my text message last night.  I know she’s busy, but
surely she could have spared a few seconds to type out a quick reply.

After spending so
much time with Kevin and Beck last night, seeing them so in love, it makes me
question what is going on with Emma and me.  I know she wants to take
things slow and I know we’ve only just met, but I feel a real connection to her
and I’m finding it hard to sit around and wait.  I
am
happy that Kevin and Beck have found each
other,
I just can’t help but be jealous of what they’ve got and wonder if Emma and I
could ever have the same.

***

When I get home from
Mum and Dad’s barbeque dinner I’m surprised to find Kevin home and Max has gone
out, on a Saturday night.  Max never goes out.

“Geez
Kev
, when you said you were moving
out I didn’t think you meant right away.”  I watch Kevin as he packs his
belongings into a cardboard box.

"Sorry
mate.  Now everything’s out in the open and you seem fine, I just
figured…” he shrugs, “why wait?  Beck’s lease still has a few weeks left
and we’re still looking for a place of our own, but seriously I can’t wait to
wake up beside her every day.”  His smile is contagious and I can’t help
but return it.  “Don’t worry about rent, I’ve sorted it, you won’t be left
short.”

“Okay then.  Who
am I to argue?  I’m really happy for you man!”  I lean against his
doorframe and cross my arms.  “So, when are you
gonna
pop the question?”

“Still
a little undecided on that one, but soon.
  I’m thinking of asking
Georgia to help me with the ring shopping.  Do you think it’s a little
weird for me to get my sister’s opinion on an engagement ring?”

“Nah your sister’s
got good
taste,
I don’t see a problem with that.”

“The problem will be
getting her to keep her mouth shut.”

“True.”  I
laugh, Georgia cannot keep secrets.  “As soon as you get that ring you
better ask Beck, before Georgia lets it slip.”

“Good point.”

“Do you want a hand
loading these in the car?”  I ask motioning towards the boxes he has
already piled up in the corner of the room.

“Sure, that’d be great,
and thanks again for being so understanding-”

“Oh please,” I hold
my hand up.  “Beck and I never had what you have.  I just hope I can
find that one day.”

I sit back in my
chair at the reception, after the most beautiful wedding I have ever
witnessed.  My best friends, Kat and Luke are riding the high on the dance
floor in front of me, looking more in love than ever as the magic of the day
intoxicates them.

All throughout the
ceremony and all of the photos and official reception speeches and whatnot Josh
and I were well behaved and even friendly.  Other than that awkward moment
after he told me I looked ‘stunning’ and I followed that up with a ‘you’re not
so bad yourself’ we’d gotten along okay, like old friends in fact.  It amazes
me that we can be after everything we have been through.  I’m feeling good
and ready to move on with-

“May I have this
dance?”  I turn to see Jake bowing in front of me, arm outstretched,
looking oh so debonair.

“Of course,” I say
placing my hand in his.  He pulls it to his mouth, kisses the back of my
hand and then pulls me from my seat. 
“Such a gentleman,
Jake.”

“Just playing my
part,” he says with a wink tugging on the lapel of his jacket.  He looks
absolutely
stunning,
he truly is a gorgeous man.

“I think you should
wear a tux more often, it suits you.”

“Why thank you
Em
,” he says as he pulls me to the dance floor.  We
hold each other close and dance to the slow tempo of the song that is currently
playing.  Jake is quite a bit taller than me so I have to look up to see
his face.  He looks down to me and quietly says, “You are the best looking
bridesmaid here.”

“Easy to say when the
only other bridesmaid here is your cousin,” I laugh and he joins in.

As we move slowly, I
turn my head and rest it on his chest.  I see Luke and Kat dancing not far
from us.  They’re gazing intently at one another, oblivious to everyone
else on the dance floor, occasionally giving each other sweet kisses.

“Look at those two,”
I say to Jake as my eyes moisten ever so slightly yet again.  “They are so
happy… perfect together.”

Jake
looks over to them briefly.
 
“I
wanna
get married,” he says simply.  I lift my head as
he returns his attention to me.

“You do?” I sound a
little more shocked than I meant to, that is the last thing I would expect
womaniser Jake to say.

“Lately I’ve realised
that, yeah, I do.”  He pauses and looks me in the eye.  “Who wouldn’t
want to be happy with someone that they love.”  It surprises me that I’m
hearing these words coming from Jake’s mouth.

“Wow Jake, you really
are affected by that tux, aren’t you?”  I grin at him, he lets out a small
sigh and I can see he’s trying not to smile.  I realise that he actually
means what he’s saying, so I add, “Seriously Jake if that’s what you want…” I
taper
off,
I don’t know what I’m saying.  We
dance in silence for a moment.

“I used to be jealous
of you and Josh.”  Why?  I want to ask but I am not sure I want to
hear the answer.  Where is he going with this?  “Then when you broke
up with him… I thought if you guys couldn’t make it together, who could? 
But I look at Luke and Kat…”  Then we both do, we watch the happy bride
and groom holding each other and whispering sweet nothings in each other’s
ears.  I let out a contented sigh.  “I’m glad Kelly dumped me, there
was no future there.  It’s time I look for someone I can see a future
with.”

We stop dancing then
and pull away from each other slightly.  I look back up to Jake and I can
see such warmth in his glistening green eyes.  The guy has a heart of gold
and he is looking to settle down, he is going to make one lucky lady very, very
happy.

“I love you
Em
,”
What?
  My heart skips a beat,
no,
no
he can’t be saying this to me!  Mum’s
words come to mind “you would be great together” and “wonderful grandchildren.” 
I start to feel faint.  I realise that Jake is still talking.

“Huh? 
Sorry what?”
  I blink at him.

“I knew you tuned me
out!”  He chuckles.  “I said I love you… like a sister, nothing
more!  You should have seen the look on your face!”

“Jake!  You nearly
gave me a heart attack!”  I laugh and playfully slap him on the
chest.  We resume our slow dancing.

“Hey, don’t look so
grossed out, I’m not that bad!”  He laughs.  “Besides if we got
together my mum would be so, so happy.”  I look at him puzzled, so he
explains, “She has been going on at me for years, saying I need to find a girl
like you.  When you and Josh split she actually sat me down and told me
‘now’s your chance’.”

“Are you kidding
me?”  So Erin has the same idea as my mum.

“That’s what I said.” 
He chuckles and pulls me closer to his chest.  After a moment Jake asks,
“So what about you, how’s your love life going?  Seth is it?”

“Confusing.”

“How
so?”

“I like Seth, I have
strong feelings for him, a real connection, I think… but then there’s Nick
and-”

“Nick?  Wait,”
he pushes me back to see my face, “you’re seeing two guys?” 

“I wouldn’t say that
exactly…”  He has a look of fake shock and I can tell he’s making fun of
me.  He shakes his head and pulls me back to his chest again.

“What I was trying to
say before, you know when you tuned me out… I love you
Em
,
and someday I will be dancing like this with you at your wedding.  You’ve
done the whole commitment thing before though.  You’re young… and
beautiful…” I blush at that.  “Now’s your chance to date, have fun. 
Stop over-thinking things and enjoy yourself.”

It’s almost exactly
what Kat said to me just the other day, these siblings really do think
alike.  What they have both said does make sense; I do over-think things,
don’t I?  Here Jake is so carefree all the time and now he’s telling me
that he wants to settle down.  He’s had his fun, but I haven’t.  It’s
my turn to be like he has been all these years.  It’s time for some fun!

“How did you get so
wise?”  I ask, looking up to him again.

“It must be the
tux.”  He winks and gives me a squeeze.  Yep he is going to make one
lucky lady very happy.

Not long after that
Dad cuts in.  It’s not quite as comfortable as dancing against Jake’s lean
frame; my Dad has quite the beer gut on him, but it’s nice just the same.

“One day I’m going to
dance with you like this at your wedding,” Dad says to me wistfully. 
I can’t help but laugh.  “What’s so funny?”

“Jake just said the
exact same thing,” I say, nodding my head.

“Oh and what else did
Jake say?  He didn’t say that he would be your groom did he?  I know
how Erin and your mum like to fantasize about that one.”