Finding My Way (40 page)

“Hey Nick.  You
do not want to go in there.  It is a pigsty at the moment.”

“Oh okay.”  I
watch as she locks the door and puts her keys in her bag.  “So what do you
feel like eating?”

“Mexican?”
 
She crinkles her nose and looks up at me with her dark brown eyes.  She
looks quite cute actually, and hard to say no to.

“Okay sure.” 
Thoughts of
Em
eating Mexican conjure up in my mind.

“Good, I have a
craving for nachos!”  She beams at me and I follow her down the footpath
to the road.  “Is that your car?”

“Yep.”

“Sweet
ride,” she says opening the door and hopping in before I can even reach
her.  I walk over to the driver’s side and hop in.  I love my car and
it makes me smile when I see her run her hands over the dash admiringly. 
“I’d love to get a car like this.  What model is it?”

“It’s a 2010
Executive 38 V6.”

“Okay. 
Holden right?”
  She nods and I laugh.  “And that
just proves I know nothing about cars.”  She lets out a huff, blowing a
stray strand of hair off her face.  I start the car and head towards the
only Mexican restaurant I know.  “So Nick, I was surprised to hear from
you.”

“You were?”

She nods. 
“Especially so late on a Saturday night.”

“It’s early.”  I
smile at her and then return my eyes to the road.

“You know what I
mean, inviting me to dinner, right on dinner time.  Did your real date
cancel?”

“No, I didn’t have
any other plans.”

“You mean to tell me
that you are as pathetic as I am and had absolutely no plans on this glorious
Saturday night?”

“Well I wouldn’t go
that far,
I
wasn’t planning on a microwave dinner and a book.”

“Smart
arse.”
  She laughs.  It’s a relaxed laugh.  She seems
very comfortable around me and easy to talk to, just like she was last Friday
night.  I glance at her outfit then.  She is wearing jeans with a
hole in the knee, sneakers and a loose fitting hoodie, no make-up.  She
hasn’t gone to any effort for this date and I find it unusual, she looks different
to the last time I saw her.  We are stopped at a set of lights and she
catches me checking her out.

“What you see is what
you get I’m afraid.”  She says with a shrug.  “Last week at the club,
that wasn’t me.  I don’t usually get out much.  My friends
kinda
forced me.  This is how I usually dress.  I
considered dressing up for you tonight, but I figured that if my slutty outfit
last week didn’t do the trick I might as well try for the casual look.”

“About last week, I’m
sorry if I was-”

“Distracted?”

“Yeah I ‘
spose
I was.”

“That’s okay. 
So what do you think?  Is the outfit working for you?”  She says
smiling and sweeping her hands in front of her body.

“I think it’s
refreshing.”  I smile back.  “You look cute.” 
Cute, yes.
  Working for me?  No. 
Now if it were
Em
in those clothes…
  I shake
my head and re-focus on the road.

I park the car in the
restaurant car park out the back and meet Hailey at the front of the car. 
We walk silently around the front of the building and I open the door for
her.  It’s early so the restaurant is fairly empty, except for a couple of
families.  I choose a table and we both sit down.  The waitress comes
over almost immediately to take our order and the food is out in record
time.  We chat happily, as we share a plate of nachos and drink our
beers.  But I can’t help but be reminded of my last time at this
restaurant.  My eyes continuously drift over to look at the booth
Em
and I sat in.

“Do you know them or
something?”  Hailey asks.  It takes me a moment to realise that she means
the family of four that sitting in our booth.

“No.”

“Then why do you keep
looking at them?”  I shrug in answer and force myself to look
elsewhere.  It doesn’t stop me from thinking of
Em
though. 
Our booth!  What is wrong with me?

I listen as Hailey tells
me about her
uni
course and we polish off the
nachos.  Minutes later, our tacos arrive.  I watch Hailey as she eats
trying to get that feeling back from when I ate here the last time.  But
Hailey doesn’t make a mess, she doesn’t have taco juice running down her arms,
she doesn’t lick her lips, have messy bed hair or make my dick twitch. 
She doesn’t laugh like
Em
or throw lettuce at me to
make me laugh.

“Earth
to Nick!”
  Hailey clicks her fingers in front of my face.  I
shake my head.

“Shit I’m sorry, I’m
doing it again aren’t I?”

“Should I be
offended?  Am I boring you?  Or are you always like this, so
distracted?”  She should be angry at me for zoning out but she’s not,
she’s smiling.

“I’m not usually like
this I swear.”

“It’s obvious you
don’t want to be here with me.  So why did you ask me out?”

“I like you...”

“And you had nothing
better to do?”  She nodded as she finished off my sentence.  “Listen
Nick, you’re a nice guy and all.  But this isn’t going to work out, there’s
no spark here for you, obviously.”

“Do you want me to
take you home?”  I ask feeling like a real shit but knowing that she got
it right.

“No way, I’m not
finished eating.  The food here is great!  Thank you for paying for
it.”  She winks.  “Because you are paying for it, it’s the least you
can do.”

“Of
course.
  Hailey I’m-”

“Don’t say you’re
sorry, please.  I couldn’t handle that.  I don’t get asked out much
and I don’t want you apologising for making my night better than what it was
going to be.  Plus I like you Nick, I’d like to be your friend.”

“I’d really like that
Hailey. 
Even if I don’t deserve it.”

Hailey did throw
lettuce at me then and she did laugh too.

Kevin, Beck, and I,
are happily eating pizza together and chatting about our
uni
days, having a good laugh, while Darcy sits and makes a mess of his.  The
mood shifts when Max enters the room.  He stands on the edge of the room
staring at the scene in front of him, more than a little shocked to see us all
together. 

“
Rebekah?
” he
asks wide eyed.

“Max!”  She
jumps up from her chair and into his arms. 
“So good to
see you!”

“Wow!  You
too!  What are you doing here?”  He grins at her.

“You grew a
beard!” she says, as she tugs on it.

“Yeah.”
 
He pats it shyly and then his eyes flick around the rest of us at the table,
before focusing on Darcy.  It’s the most animated I have seen him in a
long time.  “And who is this?”

“This is my son
Darcy.”

“Mum, I’m finished
can I go watch TV?”

“Sure can buddy, I’ll
show you the big TV in my room,” Kevin answers and takes the boy’s hand leading
him away.  Max watches them leave the room before he turns to Beck with a
quizzical look.

“Before you jump to
any wrong conclusions, I can assure you, no, Seth is not the father.”  She
giggles then sits back down at the table and Max follows suit.

“I didn’t think he
was.”  Max shrugs and takes a slice of pizza.  “So who is?”

“Well, to be
completely honest, I don’t exactly know…” she trails off looking
embarrassed.  One thing about Beck is that she cannot tell a lie, has
never been able to, she’s probably the most straightforward and open person
I’ve ever known.  “About six months after you and I broke up,” she turns
to me, “I was at a low point, got drunk, had a one-night-stand, we exchanged
numbers but when I rang the guy to tell him I was pregnant, he said he didn’t
remember me and that I must have had a wrong number.”

“Are you fucking
kidding me?”  I practically yell in shock.  “Who would do that?”

“What a
tosser!”  Max chimes in shaking his head.

“So I know the guy’s
first name, at least I think I do… I’m not entirely sure if he even gave me his
real number, if it was him that I spoke to on the phone or not…  Ah well
it was years ago now, I’ve got Darcy, that’s all that matters.”

“And me.  You’ve
got me too now babe,” Kevin says returning, giving her shoulder a squeeze and
leaning down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“
What?
” 
Max asks choking on his pizza as he watches Beck smile back at Kevin.

“I think you better
fill him in,” I chuckle, and then leave them to do just that while I take a
shower.

When I get back to
the table, the three of them are kicking back just like old times, and I start
to think that maybe things are looking up in this household.  I also
realise that Max hasn’t been near his computers tonight at all.

“While we’re all here
I’ve got something else to tell you.”
 
Kevin’s eyes flit to Beck who smiles and then back to me.  “Beck
and I are looking to get a place of our own, and my uncle… he’s thinking of
selling this place.”

“Perfect!”  Max
says excitedly, surprising us all.  “I’ll buy it.”

“What?”  Beck
and I ask at the same time.

“Sorry.  You
must hate me right
now,
I’ve sure laid a lot of shit
on you tonight.”  Kevin says to me and then recognition registers on his
face when he realises what Max has said.  “Sorry what Max?  Did you
just say you’ll buy it?”

“I did.”  Max
smiles then stands to grab a beer from the fridge.  We all watch him as he
takes his time, sitting back down, opening his beer and taking a drink. 
“I have some news of my own.”  He smiles proudly.

Then he fills us in
on the game he has been developing, the computer game that has been taking up
his every waking moment when he wasn’t at work.  He has just sold it for a
shitload of money.  It turns out that he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get it
finished let alone sold, so he decided not to let anyone know about it. 
He also apologised for being difficult to live with.

What an amazing
turn of events!

My phone rings
interrupting our girly laughter and April and Kat’s teasing about Nick and
me.  I go over to the kitchen bench where I left it and see Seth’s name
light up the screen.
 
Then it all comes
crashing down on me again.  I can’t believe I contemplated sleeping with
Nick. The potential for a fantastic relationship is there with Seth, something
that Nick cannot offer me.

“Aren’t you going to
answer it?”  Kat asks from her seat on the couch as I continue to stare at
my phone.

“It’s Seth,” I
reply as if that explains everything.  It stops ringing.

“Who’s Seth?” 
April asks, looking back and forth between Kat and me.

“A guy I’ve kind of
been seeing,” I reply.  “I just don’t know what to do, he seems so serious
and I feel like I’m cheating just by being around Nick.”

“
Em
,
I think that’s your answer, you obviously like Seth the best.”  Kat says.

“It’s not cheating if
you haven’t done anything,” April chimes in.

My phone receives a
text message.  Picking up the phone I silently read the message before
reading it out loud to the girls.

Seth:  Just
wanted to say goodnight but I guess you are busy.  I hope your friend’s
wedding goes well tomorrow and that you have a fantastic time.  I missed
you at work today.  Speak soon x

“
Oooh
,”
Kat and April both coo at the same time.

“So sweet,” Kat says.

“Positively
swoon-worthy!”
April gushes.

“I know,
right?”  I can’t help but feel a little swept away at his thoughtfulness.

Things may not have
even started with Seth but it does seem like we are in a relationship already
when I receive a text like that.  It sure doesn’t alleviate my guilt over
Nick any.

***

“Aren’t you glad you
forced me to buy that couch?”  I smile at Kat as she lounges on it.

“I sure am full of
bright ideas aren’t I?  It’s so comfy,” she replies with a grin.

“Better than
Em’s
bed that’s for sure!” April complains as she
twists her head from side to side.  April and I shared my bed last night,
while Kat slept on the couch.  Well, I couldn’t allow her to wake up stiff
and sore on her wedding day could I?  There’s a loud knock on my front
door but it opens before I get a chance to make a move.

“Good morning ladies,
your chariot awaits!” Ethan beams as he waltzes into my apartment. 
It’s a little after ten o’clock and he has come to collect us to head to Kat’s
parents to get ready.

“Morning.”
 
I smile at him, collecting my things.

“Hi
April.”
 
Ethan pays extra
attention to her and Kat and I exchange a look as she stands up next to the
couch. 

“Well hello there
Ethan.  How have you been?”  April bats her eyes back at him.
 This is new
.

“I’m good.  You
are coming to my 21
^st
aren’t you?  It’s in two weeks.”

“Oh I didn’t know I
was invited.”  She feigns innocence and plants a big grin on her
face. 

“Of course you’re
invited,
there is no one I want there more.”  He winks.
 I can’t believe these two are flirting with each other.

“Okay, knock it off
you two!”  Kat shoulders her way between the two of them.  “This is
my
day!”

We chat in happy
excitement, as we make our way over to the
Greenes
’
place.  The guys are getting ready at Kat and Luke’s house this morning so
there’s no bride seeing the groom.  Ethan heads back to my parents’ house
with their car leaving us to get ready.  Mum shows up a little while later
and we all get our hair and make-up done.  Kat and Erin remain quite calm,
I too, keep my emotions in check, which is surprising considering the
blubbering messes we all were just last weekend at the dress fitting.