Finding My Way (27 page)

“Would you like some
breakfast?”  I ask when I hear my stomach growl.  Yes time to change
the subject.  “I was
gonna
make some scrambled
eggs, if you’d like some?”

“I’ve had breakfast,”
he says motioning with his head to the wall clock behind me.  I turn and
see that it is almost noon.  “But I would love some lunch.”  He adds
with a smile when I turn back to him.

“Lunch it is
then.”  I smile at him, pushing thoughts of casual sex away, or I try to
at least.

As I busy myself in
the kitchen Nick positions himself on a bar stool across the bench in front of
me.  I feel
so
self-conscious as he watches me
work.

You’re a player
.
 She said with a nod as if I just confirmed what she already
thought.  As much as I want her to think of me as a nice guy, I can’t
argue with her and I definitely cannot lie to her either.  She’s obviously
into the whole commitment thing, I’m not.  I like to fool around and have
fun.  I can tell by her shyness that she doesn’t.  So by her
definition I suppose I am a player, so be it.

She tries to hide her
disappointment but I can see through her.  My eyes wander and I find that
I can almost see through her tank top too.  On closer inspection, I
realise that she’s not wearing a bra.  I try to swallow the lump in my
throat and divert my eyes.  I look down but it doesn’t help, those shorts
are really, really short… and
tight
... and so are my pants now.  I
try to regain my focus when she shakes her head, it doesn’t help much just
makes me look to her lovely long hair and think of running my fingers through
it.

She offers to cook me
some scrambled eggs and of course I accept.  I take a seat on a bar stool
opposite her as she makes the food.  She looks like she knows what she’s
doing and I can’t keep my eyes off her.  It’s just so sensual, watching her
crack eggs and beat them up, god, now I sound like a kinky bastard.  But I
cannot deny that I’ve got to love a woman who can cook.  It strikes me
that she must have cooked all the time for her boyfriend, the pang of jealousy
I suddenly feel surprises me.

“So you must have got
together with
Josh
at a young age then?”  I ask.

“We were together
since we were sixteen.”  She answers.

“How old are you
now?”

“Twenty-three.”
 
Of course I could have just worked that out in my head,
idiot
. 
Seven years with someone, only eleven months apart, how long until someone can
move on from that?

“Are you… I mean,
have you moved on?”  I ask hesitantly.

“Do you mean have I
been with anyone else since?  That’s a bit personal don’t you
think?”  She gets all defensive.

“No I mean are you
over him?”  Shit. I didn’t mean to offend her.  As much as I want to
know about her sex life, or rather, be in it, I wouldn’t pry like that, I
barely know her.  I try to recover, “It must be hard to move on, for you,
I mean.”

“It hasn’t been easy…
but yes, I am moving on.”  She stares at me with her “deer in the
headlights look” yet again.  Seeing
Em
in her
pyjamas, looking all vulnerable, my heart melts.  She has no make-up on,
she’s a natural beauty and just so god-damn cute!  Then she starts to suck
on her bottom lip, gazing at my mouth with her emerald eyes and it’s suddenly
very hot in here.

“Are you flirting
with me?”  I ask looking at her mouth and wanting to bite that lip of
hers,
hard
.  When her cheeks flush again I look back into her green
eyes.  “I love it when you’re embarrassed
Em
,
you look so sexy when you blush like that.”

Her cheeks get even
darker and I can see the anger burning in her eyes.  She turns away and
focuses on taking out some frustrations on a kitchen drawer.

“Here make yourself
useful and set the table,” she orders as she holds some cutlery in her
fist for me to take.

“Yes ma’am.”  I
say with a chuckle grabbing them from her.  I love when she’s feisty, it’s
so hot.  She can boss me around any time.

I set the cutlery
down at the four-seater round table at the side of the kitchen and take a
seat.  When she places a plate in front of me she leans in such a way that
I get a good look at her cleavage, which of course makes me smile.  She
may be shy but she somehow manages to carry herself with confidence, or maybe
she just completely oblivious.  Does she not realise how skimpy her little
outfit is?  She doesn’t seem to care that she has no make-up or bra on or
that she hasn’t brushed her hair.  It’s refreshing, she is so different to
the girls I normally see.

A moan escapes my
mouth when I take my first bite.  Who would have thought that scrambled
eggs could taste so damn delicious?

“This is delicious,”
I compliment her.  She smiles at me so sweetly and innocently then, that I
know, at that moment that I’m not going to try to get physical with her
today.  I have to take things slow with her, she is too precious.  I
suddenly feel a need to protect her.  Protect her from predators like
me. 

That doesn’t stop me
from having dirty thoughts about her though.  When I finish my lunch I
watch her as she eats.  It’s so sexy, the way she keeps tucking her hair
behind her ear, glancing at me shyly.  My eyes keep focusing on her lips
as she licks them between mouthfuls.  I almost think she’s doing it on
purpose, who licks their lips that much anyhow?  I clear my throat and try
to clear my head in the process.

“So, what’s on the
agenda today?  Any plans?”  I ask hoping for a distraction.

“Nothing
really.
  I was planning on a pyjama day.”

“Pyjama
day?
  What’s that?”

"What? 
You’ve never heard of pyjama day?”  She asks cheekily with a sparkle in
her eye. 
I think she’s flirting again
.  “It’s a day where you
stay in your pyjamas,
obviously
, and you watch movies and pig out on
junk food.”  She finishes her food so I clear the table.

“So this
pyjama
day
, is it a solitary thing, or can anyone
join
in?”  I ask as I take our dishes to the sink and start to fill it. 
Opening the cupboard below I find some detergent.  I feel
Em’s
eyes on me.

“Well you aren’t
wearing your pyjamas though,” she says jokingly.

“I sleep naked. 
I can strip down if you’d like.”  I love the look of shock that registers
on her face and the instant blush that follows.

“That won’t be
necessary.  I will make an exception to the rules just this once.” 
She recovers well.

“So I can
stay?”  Watching movies with her sounds like fun.  I could only think
of one other thing that I would rather do today, and I’ve already resolved not
to do
that
.

“Sure,” she
replies then excuses herself to use the bathroom while I wash the dishes.

I like that Nick is
so curious about me, asking me questions about Josh, but when he asks me if I
am moving on I’m taken back.  At first, I presume that he is asking if I
have slept with anyone since Josh but then I realise just because my thoughts
are all about sex at the moment it doesn’t mean his are.  I answer him as
honestly as I can, but lose my train of thought as he continues to hold my
gaze.  I sure hope he didn’t notice how much I jumped when the toast
popped up from the toaster.

And then to ask if I
was purposely flirting with him – what a nerve!  I didn’t even realise I
was biting my bottom lip until he looked at my mouth so pointedly.  I
instantly let it go and felt the heat rush to my cheeks.  Why is it that
Nick always embarrasses me?  And why does he seem to enjoy it so bloody
much?

As if to answer my
question he actually said, “I love it when you’re embarrassed
Em
, you look so sexy when you blush like that.” 
I
can’t believe he said that!

Of course comments
like that make me blush even more.  How can he make me so flustered and
yet look so adorable doing it?  I actually felt like I wanted to slap
him!  And that is not like me at all.  Instead, I opened up the
cutlery drawer, grabbed a couple of knives and forks and thrust them to him,
instructing him to set the table.

God, and when he said
‘yes ma’am’ to my request, giving me another sexy smirk, I was more than
slightly aroused, and found it very hard to concentrate on what I was doing. 
Somehow I managed to butter the toast and dish up our eggs then carry our
plates to the table.

We silently salt and
pepper our meals and eat.  Nick lets out a moan of gratitude and I can’t
help but be further stimulated by that.  I try to avoid looking at him but
find it really hard to do so.  There is something sexy about the way he is
hoeing-in to his food and mumbling his appreciation between mouthfuls.  He
finishes ahead of me, of course, and then he rests his chin on his hands and
watches me eat.  It’s unnerving the way his eyes seem to be devouring
me
while
I
devour my food.

I’m surprised by how
keen he seems to be to join me in my pyjama day, even though I decline his
offer of nakedness.  I’m even more surprised when he starts washing my
dishes.  He again wows me with how casual and comfortable he is in his own
skin,
and
in my apartment.

I excuse myself and
go to the bathroom.  When I’m washing my hands I stare back at my
reflection.  I have no make-up on and my hair’s a mess.  I
contemplate brushing it but it’s too late, it would be too obvious to go back
out there with newly brushed hair.  I quickly run my fingers through it a
little anyway.

When I get back to
the kitchen I notice that Nick has finished washing the dishes and they are
neatly stacked on the dish rack.  He’s looking through my DVD collection
by the TV.

“Thanks for washing
the dishes.”

“No worries.” 
He mumbles distractedly as he continues to look through the shelf.

I grab a bag of chips
from the cupboard and empty them into a big bowl.  I get two cans of soft
drink from the fridge and place them on the coffee table.  Nick picks up
my copy of ‘Love Actually’ and looks back at me.

“
Really?
”
 
Raising my eyebrow, I grab it from him and return it to the shelf. 
Somehow, as much as I love that movie, I don’t think I could sit through that
one with him.  He looks relieved which makes me chuckle.

“I had you pegged for
a romantic comedy type of girl.”

“I like
variety.”  I say as I reach past him and grab ‘
Zombieland
’. 
Showing him the case, I add, “And I love zombies!”

“Me too!” he
says enthusiastically, and proceeds to pull the most adorable zombie face I
have ever seen.  He lulls his head to the side, somehow manages to make
his eyes bulge out, his jaw goes slack and putting his hands out in front of
him he makes this growling sound that makes me laugh hysterically.  He
chases me slowly towards the couch as I continue to laugh uncontrollably.

I wipe my hands on
the tea towel hanging from the oven door handle when I’ve finished washing the
dishes and wander towards the TV.  I go to the large set of shelves that I
noticed earlier.  I’m not surprised to see that
Em
has a large collection of
books,
she strikes me as
that type of girl.  What I am surprised to see is the collection of DVDs
alongside it.  She has a variety of movies from action and comedy to
romance and horror.  I wonder if maybe her ex left some of these
behind.  I am slowly making my way through all the names when
Em
re-enters the kitchen.

I’m relieved when she
returns the ‘Love Actually’ DVD to the shelf, I would never admit it but I have
watched that movie before, and a tear may have escaped my eyes at one
point.  I wouldn’t want to show her all my cards on one day.

When she chooses ‘
Zombieland
’ instead, I’m surprised and excited.  I
then imitate being a zombie. 
I
know,
stupid
right?
  But then
Em
starts laughing, not
just a little but a lot, so that only encourages me more.  Her laugh is
angelic and one of the best sounds I think I have ever heard.  I chase her
in a zombie-like fashion until she flops down on the couch.  Taking a seat
beside her I notice that she has placed snacks on the coffee table.

“Ah
real Coke!”
  I exclaim when I spot the cans on the table and grab a
handful of chips, salt and vinegar, my favourite, a woman after my own heart.

“What?”  She
asks me and I realise that I am staring at her.

“You’re just full of
surprises.”  I say.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re not
like most girls, watching their weight with that diet shit and-”

“Are you calling me
fat? 
Or just a pig?”
  She interrupts, but
not because she’s offended or anything, I see her trying to hide a smile so at
least I don’t think that she is.

“No not at
all.”  I quickly add, “of course not!  But most girls I know are all
about watching what they eat.  They sure as hell wouldn’t have tucked into
the Tacos the way you did the other night!”  That memory alone gets my
heart pumping harder.

“Ah well you only
live once, that’s my motto!” 
Huh!

“But here you are in
your PJs, eating junk food, watching a zombie movie, it’s relaxing, like
hanging out with one of the blokes.”  I say shaking my head. 
Em
is like no other girl I’ve ever dated.  Of course
she’s not like any bloke I know either, that’s for sure, but all the same I
feel comfortable here, like I don’t have to try so hard.  Just be me.