Finding My Way (26 page)

Ten minutes later I’m
in the kitchen cooking breakfast when
Tahlia
comes in
and plops herself on the bench.

“Thanks for the
wake-up call princess.  I was having a good dream,” I complain.

“Better than mine I
hope,” she mumbles and it makes me cringe.

“Are you okay? 
I mean you were pretty shaken last night.  Do the nightmares always affect
you that much?”

“Can we not talk
about that?  I need a distraction.”  She says with a shrug, trying to
hide how haunted she must feel.  “Why don’t you tell me more about
Emma?  How did you two meet?”  I guess I can’t force her to talk
about her dreams, but I can’t help worrying about her.  If a change of
subject is what she needs, then who am I to argue?

“She’s the
receptionist at work.”

“I see, mixing
business with pleasure.”  She grins mischievously at me.  I
chuckle.  “She’s really nice Seth, I like her.”

“Yeah
me too.”
  I smirk.

I dish up a couple of
pancakes onto our plates.  Squirting them with maple syrup then take them
to the table. 
Tahlia
pours a couple of juices
and joins me as we take our seats.

“So, you
gonna
see her again?” 
Tahlia
asks between mouthfuls.

“Well, duh, I work
with her!”  I reply sarcastically.

“You know what I mean
butch, don’t shit me!  Are you
gonna
see her
,
see her?”

“I sure hope so.”

When I got home last
night from Seth’s parents’ house, I was feeling more than a little
restless.  With thoughts of Seth’s lips on mine, his hands holding my head
to his… and other thoughts fantasizing where it all may lead, flooding my mind,
I had to relieve myself with a date with my vibrator.  Finally relaxed
after that, I slept rather soundly for a change.  I’m surprised to see
that it’s already past eleven o’clock when I wake up, I rarely sleep this late.

After lying in bed
dozing for another half an hour or so, I decide that I’m not going to do much
of anything today.  After all, that’s what Sunday’s are for, right? 
I head to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea.

So much has happened
since I left work on Friday:  my surprise date with Nick, my intense one
with Seth, the realisation that yesterday’s lunch at the pub confirmed for me
that I really
am
over Josh. 
It’s
funny
how much can change in a small amount of time.

My thoughts keep
returning to Seth.  I can’t believe how much we have in common, our tastes
in music and movies the same, our relationships with our parents and siblings
so similar.  Thinking of the sweet words he whispered to
Tahlia
when he said good night and the way he comforted her
after her nightmare make me swoon.  He is such as sweetheart. 
A stunningly handsome, caring and sexy sweetheart.
  I
can’t keep the smile off my face just thinking about him. 

Hanging out at his
parent’s house yesterday I felt right at home too.  I wonder if I will get
to meet them.  They have raised two fine children I find myself really
wanting to.  I’m positively reeling over how intense my feelings are for
Seth after just one day. 
Thinking about meeting his parents? 
What on earth?

It’s a lovely morning
so I take my tea out to the balcony to soak in the sunshine.  My apartment
is on the second floor of a two floor building.  There are only eight
apartments in the complex, located on a mostly silent street.  My
neighbours are quiet and we all keep to ourselves, just the occasional hello as
we pass each other.  The view from my balcony is nothing flash.  The
driveway is off to my
right,
two large circular raised
brick garden beds dot the lawn in front, with a path from the street down the
middle of them both.

I notice that there
is a guy sitting on the brick edging of one of them.  That is not unusual
as it’s a convenient place to sit when waiting for someone.  I can’t see
his face as his back is to me, he appears to be playing on his phone.  For
some reason he seems familiar.  As if sensing my presence, he turns his
head and looks in my direction.  My heart jolts when Nick’s broad smile
breaks across his face as he recognises me.

I have no idea how I
ended up here, I had no intentions of seeking
Em
out,
yet somehow I find myself standing outside her apartment block.  I want to
see her, I realise, but unfortunately I have no clue which apartment is
hers.  And as I forgot to get her phone number I cannot call her either.

After fifteen minutes
of sitting on a garden bed.  I start to think maybe it would be better if
I just started knocking on doors.  How many apartments are here
anyway?  Then again, maybe she’s not even home.  I look around
again.  No, I want to appear casual not overly eager.  Then I have
another idea.  I pull my phone from my pocket.

After a couple of
minutes of playing with my phone, I give up.  Do you have any idea how
many Emma Taylors’ are on Facebook?  Too many!  I thought maybe I
could message her but it seems like an impossible task.  Maybe I should
just
go,
I can always see her at the train station
tomorrow.  I’m about to stand when I feel like someone is watching
me.  I turn around to see
Em
leaning over the
balcony on the second floor.  I move over to get a closer look.  I
stand on the ground below her to soak in her beauty.  I can’t see her too
well because the sun is so bright.

“But, soft! What
light through yonder window breaks?  It is the east, and Emma is the
sun.”  When I move slightly I can see her a little clearer, and even from
down here I can see her glorious blush.  “Sorry I couldn’t resist.”

“Ever
so suave Nick!”
  She yells down to me with a smile.

“I try my best!” 
I smile back at her.  “I’m happy to see your face,” I say with a
sigh, relieved that I didn’t leave already.  “I was just contemplating
knocking on every door here.” 
Idiot!  Why did I say that? 
So much for appearing casual, I
am
losing it.

“Really?”
 
She seems pleased by that, maybe it’s a good thing my mouth gets away from me
sometimes.

“Can I come
up?”  I ask and before she can say no I add, “What number?”

“Oh, number five,”
she replies.

I walk down the side
of the building where I find a concrete staircase.  Taking two steps at a
time I can hardly contain my excitement. 
Although it
surprises me that I am feeling that way at all.
 
What is wrong
with me?
  I quickly find her door, knock and step back.  I can’t
hear any movement inside, no one coming to the door.  I glance at the
number ‘5’ making sure that I’ve got the right door and then I knock again.

Oh my god, he
didn’t just quote Shakespeare, did he?  You’ve got to be kidding!
 Not
only did he say it, but he put on the whole act, arms stretched out in front of
him, waving them theatrically in my direction.  Damn he is so good
looking, and he has Shakespeare memorised?  What the hell?  Then to
say he was contemplating knocking on all the doors here, I can’t help but feel
like a giddy school girl at that thought.

“Can I come
up?”  He asks shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. 
“What number?”

“Oh, number five,” I
blink out at him and he immediately starts to head towards the stairs. 
Oh
shit!
 I’m still in my PJs for crying out loud!  I make a run for
the bathroom, dumping my tea cup on the kitchen bench as I pass.  I’m
still brushing my teeth when I hear Nick banging on the door.  I quickly
rinse.  Looking in the mirror I try to smooth out my hair.  Nick
knocks again.

“Just as sec,” I yell
out.  I don’t have time to change.  I take a deep breath and walk to
the front door, smoothing down my tank top and shorts before I open it.

“Hello
friend
,”
he says looking a little stunned, probably at my state of dress.  I notice
the delicious amount of stubble on his face making him look even hotter today.

“Hi.  Come on
in.”

As he walks past me I
get a good whiff of his masculine cologne, it’s a woody scent that makes me
want to lick him. 
Lick him?  What the…?
  He’s wearing a
light grey t-shirt that is tight and shows off his bulky and defined
torso.  The guy obviously works out,
a lot
.  His dark denim
jeans are well fitted and I’m shamelessly checking out his tight arse when he
pauses and turns around to face me.  That’s when I realise that I haven’t
even moved, he’s already made it to the kitchen and I haven’t even shut the
door.  I am more than a little surprised that he’s here, in my
apartment.  He gives me one of his wicked smiles and I feel my body
surging with desire.

I shut the door and
somehow manage to make one leg move in front of the other.  Just as I
reach the kitchen, Nick moves away.  He wanders around my apartment and
seems completely relaxed as he checks out the place.  He moves with a
swagger of confidence that is powerfully sexy.  He looks from room to room
as I try to regulate my breathing, and stand in the middle of the kitchen.

“You live here by
yourself then?” he asks as he returns to me.

When she finally
opens the door to her apartment she’s wearing a tight little purple tank top
and shorts.  They’re really short shorts, showing off a nice set of
legs.  Her hair is messed up like she just got out of bed, a look that
suits her and one that I would like to see more often.

“Hello friend,” I say
regaining composure.

“Hi.  Come on
in.”  She says smiling sweetly. 
Ooh I’d like to baby and not just
the apartment.

I recognise her
perfume from the other night as soon as I walk in; her whole place is scented
with it and it makes my mouth water.  I pass her, walking through the wide
entrance way into an open space that houses the kitchens and lounge room. 
I turn back to
Em
who is still standing at the front
door.  Was she just checking me out?  The whole “deer in the head
lights look” is on her face
again,
yes I caught her in
the act.  That thought makes me smile.

I walk over to the
first door I see.  That must be
Em’s
room. 
My pants twitch a little when I look at her unmade bed, thinking of the sight
of her and what I would like to do to her on that bed.  I take a deep
breath and walk back towards the kitchen.  I remind myself that this girl
is not like the girls I typically date and definitely not like the ones I screw
for fun.  I need to calm myself down.  I hope she doesn’t notice my
slight erection; I don’t want to scare her off.  At the same time a secret
part of me hopes that she does, because I want her to know my intentions. 
I have never felt so conflicted before.  What the fuck is wrong with me?

Her apartment isn’t
overly large but it’s nice.  It gives me an idea of her
taste,
she has a simple understated style.  I like it.  I walk over to the
other side of the lounge room and look into the spare room, relieved to see it
is full of junk and not another bed.  Good, no roommates then.  I
don’t want any interruptions.  I ask her if she lives alone anyway, just
to be sure. 

“Yeah…
for the last eleven months anyway.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Yep.
 
Been living on my own ever since we broke up.”
 

“How long were you
and…”

“Josh.”

“How long were you
and
Josh
together?”

“Seven years.”

“Wow.”  Being
with the same person for seven years, I can’t imagine what that would be
like.  She really does the whole commitment thing.  “I can only
imagine how hard it would be to recover from that.”

“How long was your
longest relationship?” she asks suddenly.

“I don’t do
relationships.  I dated the same girl for three weeks in a row once, if
that counts?”

“Really?
 
So you’ve never had a girlfriend… like
ever
?  How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-six, and
no, never, no girlfriends.”

“Wow.”  She says
shaking her head in contemplation.

“Don’t get me wrong,
I’ve had plenty… just not relationships,” he says with a smug look on his
face. 
Plenty?
  Of sex, he means sex.

“Oh I see, you’re a
player,” I say nodding my head in realisation and not at all hiding my
disappointment.  I thought that maybe after quoting Shakespeare, admitting
that he was going to knock at all of the apartments to find me, I thought maybe
he was a romantic.  But no, he’s one of those bad boys I love to read
about in novels. 
The screw ‘
em
and leave ‘
em
variety.
  Well he doesn’t
deny my player comment, so I guess I’m right.

The way he looks at
me then, I’m sure that sex with me is exactly what he’s after.  The
thought of getting intimate with Nick, who oozes sex appeal, practically drips
with it, is very tempting.  I’m horny as hell. 
But
no-strings sex?
  I don’t know if I can do casual.  Can
I?  I mean I’m very attracted to him but can I just have sex with this guy
and leave it at that?

I shake my
head,
maybe I’m reading this all wrong, reading Nick
wrong.  What do I know?  It’s not like I have much experience with
this sort of thing. 
And what about Seth?
  I
think there may be a future with him, at least I think I would like there to
be.