Finding My Forever (34 page)

“How do you know she’s finished?”

Jenna shrugs. “My milk’s not in yet so right now she’s just getting my antibodies to help her fight any infections.”

“And that’s enough?”

“It is for right now.”

“Amazing.”

J
ENNA
and I agreed that I’d take Little One out to the waiting room for everyone to meet her. She’s tired which is understandable and doesn’t want any company right now. Jenna places our daughter in my arms. A surge of warmth spreads through my body as I hold her to my chest. I wish her eyes would open so I could see her and she could see us. I know she’s going to be the most loved little girl ever. All in due time I suppose.

“I love you, wifey. I’ll be back soon.” I kiss her on the lips before taking our baby out of the room. I don’t want to be gone too long, but I know the importance of the group waiting to see her. They’re my family.

As soon as I open the door the two grandmothers meet me. How Jenna’s mum got here so quickly is beyond me, but she’ll be happy to know she’s here.

“Say hi to your nana and grandma,” I whisper into Little One’s ear. She doesn’t react, but the mums do. They both cover their mouths and allow the happy tears to flow freely.

“Oh Jimmy, she’s so beautiful,” my mum says.

I nod. “You should see her mum, she’s the most gorgeous woman in the world.”

Mrs. Hardy steps forward. “Can I?”

As much as I want to say no, I can’t. Her baby just had a baby and I can’t begin to imagine what she’s going through. I place Little One in her arms and watch in amazement as the woman who gave me Jenna coo’s over our daughter.

“She’s so perfect.”

Again, I’m not about to disagree with her on that one.

The mums take turns holding and gushing over the baby. I stand back and watch, wishing Jenna were witnessing this. But she wants to get some rest and I understand that more than anyone.

Finally, after a long torturous five minutes, they hand her back to me. The moment she’s in my arms, I’m both elated and calm. My heart is racing but in a good way. I’m breathing easily now and don’t feel like I’m going to struggle anytime soon. Did I need Little One to make me feel this way?

I walk into the waiting room and am met with a sea of eager faces. Josie and Katelyn are the first to stand up, but they keep their distance. Liam and Harrison stand behind their significant others and it dawns on me that I’m the only one that has witnessed their child being born. I can’t even begin to imagine what’s going through their minds right now.

I hold my arms up so they can see my daughter. The women, of course, gasp.

“I’d like to introduce Eden Davis who made her way into the world at 11:59 am weighing six pounds and eight ounces.”

“Eden?” my mum says.

I nod. “Yeah, her name is Eden or Little One. I’m pretty sure she’ll answer to both.”

“Such a pretty name for a pretty baby.”

“Thanks, mum.”

No one asks to hold her and for that I’m grateful. I have a feeling I’m going to be one of those parents who worry about germs and whether or not you’ve washed your hands or have a cold. I’m a dad now; these things are important. I have to protect her at all costs.

“Jenna is a little tired and has asked that you come back later at dinnertime. She wants to have a nap for a bit. I can tell you, however, that she almost certainly hates me, even though I know that she loves me really. She says I’m not allowed to touch her again and I have demon sperm.”

“I can attest to that,” Katelyn says. “I hated Mason for the last trimester of my pregnancy. He was so happy we were having twins though, and he’d carry them around like footballs.”

“I remember that,” Josie says. “When I was delivering Noah, I cursed Liam something fierce and prayed his dick would fall off.”

“Hey?”

“What,” she says, looking at him. “I was young and in pain. Your son was a beast with his broad shoulders.”

“Are you saying you don’t want another one?” Liam asks Josie. The look on his face is priceless while he waits for her to answer. She drags out her response, making his pained expression even more comical.

“No, I’m not saying that at all,” Josie says, shrugging her shoulders as if having a baby is no big deal. Or maybe she’s telling Liam he’s no big deal. Either way, his face is full of determination.

“Good, let’s go home and try for a while until we can see Jenna.”

Liam pretty much drags Josie away. He stops and pats me on the shoulder as he walks by. “Little Eden, you have such a big family with lots of cousins who’ll protect you from everything. Good luck ever finding a boyfriend.”

I didn’t have a big family growing up, but knowing that she does fills my heart with pride and love.

“She’s precious, Jimmy.”

“Thanks, Katelyn.”

“We’ll be back, JD. Go be with your wife and daughter. I wasn’t there when Quinn was born, but the second he entered my life, I never wanted to let him out of my sight.”

I nod. “I know. I almost had a panic attack when the grandmas were holding her. I’m not even sure how I’m going to give her back to Jenna.”

“You’ll find a way to share,” Katelyn says, kissing me on my cheek.

The grandmothers kiss Eden and then me, promising to return with clothes and proper food in a few hours.

When I walk back into Jenna’s room, she’s asleep. I move quietly and sit in the rocking chair with Eden in my arms.

“Mummy’s sleeping Little One, so it’s just you and me.”

She makes this little squeaking sound and moves her head. It’s going to be another sound that I need to record on my phone.

I place her on my chest and start rocking. Her head rests in the crook of my neck, which is her mum’s favourite place. The warmth from her fills me and as much as I don’t want to, I can’t help the tears as they fall. There was a chance that I could’ve missed this if it hadn’t been for Liam being upset. If I weren’t trying to find a way to talk to Jenna, I wouldn’t have been in Beaumont that night. Everything that’s good in my life right now is because of Liam. He’s the glue keeping us together.

Little One squeaks again and even though it’s quiet, I don’t want her to wake Jenna. I do what I’ve been doing since I found out I was going to be a dad. I sing to her.

After we set sail, there’s gonna be storms

Just don’t lose faith in me cause I’ll keep us on course

Remember this day, it’s written in the stars

We’re on our way to forever, girl it’s not that far

I’ve never felt like this before

I see our ship comin’ from the shore

And that horizon in your eyes

Is like Tobacco Sunburst

“Someday, Little One, you’ll write songs or play the guitar. Maybe you’ll be a novelist or a painter. As long as you’re happy I’ll do whatever I can help you succeed.”

T
HE
sound of Jimmy’s voice wakes me. It’s a pleasant sound, one that I love to listen to. I open my eyes slightly, but what I see needs all my attention. I move as quietly as I can so I can watch the scene in front of me.

Jimmy holds our daughter snug against this chest, rocking her back and forth. His eyes are closed, but he’s singing to her. His head rests on hers in the sweetest of embraces. I wish I had my phone to take a picture because this is a moment I want to capture forever.

“What are you doing?” his voice startles me. He grins, which turns my insides to goo. He was sexy before, but seeing him hold our daughter puts him on a whole other level. I wink at him causing him to shake his head.

“I heard you singing.”

“Did I wake you?” he asks so quietly. Our life has changed now and we didn’t even make an attempt to do so. With the arrival of Eden, we just know everything is different.

“We’re having a girl.”

“I know,” I say, holding his hand against my stomach. “You with a daughter… scary,” I add, shaking my head. Jimmy kisses my nose then my lips.

“I’ll be scared shitless, but I’m going to love every minute of it. I want to be a part of this, Jenna. I know I screwed up staying in LA for so long. My dad… No, I don’t want him to ruin our day. We’re having a daughter, a daughter who needs a name by the way.”

“I have a feeling naming her will be hard.”

“Why?”

I shrug. “Name association.”

Jimmy laughs even though I don’t think it’s funny. I don’t want to pick my daughter’s name and have it be the same as some bimbo he hooked up with. And I hope he doesn’t tell me that he doesn’t know most of their names. That wouldn’t make me feel any better because honestly some things are better left unknown.

“Eden,” he blurts out.

“Excuse me?”

Jimmy shrugs. “Eden, and let me tell you why,” he says, pulling me over to the couch. We sit down and he turns to face me, holding my hand in his. “When I first met you, I knew you were off limits. The way Liam spoke about you was a warning sign. But everything about you made me curious. It was a little hair flip or the way your forehead smushes together when you’re thinking. But the breaking point was the wedding and everything leading up to that moment. Watching you that night was complete torture. Having you, making you mine for those sacred moments, was my undoing. To me, you’re my forbidden fruit. I can’t get enough of you, Jenna, and I think Eden represents what we created together.”

“Okay,” I say, wiping tears away with the back of my hand. “I like Eden Davis. It sounds perfect.” Jimmy kisses me, holding my face in his hands.

He leans down and pulls my shirt up over my belly. His lips press into my skin. “Eden Davis. That’s your name, Little One, and we can’t wait to meet you.”

Jimmy moves with caution as he carries Eden over to me. I move aside, still sore, but feeling better. He climbs on the bed, putting Little One on my chest. She stretches her neck and makes the most beautiful sound ever.

“I love that sound,” Jimmy says, echoing my thoughts.

“Me too.” I pull her close and rest my head on his shoulder.

“Let me take a photo.” Jimmy pulls out his phone and holds it out in front of us. I turn Eden around and hold her between us. He presses the button and pulls the phone closer to us so we can see our first family photo.

“She’s perfect.”

“You both are. I can’t even begin to explain how happy I am right now, Jenna.” Jimmy kisses Eden on the forehead before kissing me. “You’ve changed my life and it’s definitely for the better.”

I lean into Jimmy and relish this moment. He has no idea how much he’s changed my life and I don’t know if I’ll ever find the words to tell him.

“Surprise!” My mom and Brigette yell in unison.

“Hi mom,” I say when she steps forward. She comes around to the side of the bed and pulls me into a hug. I refuse to move, not ready to let go of Eden yet.

“I’m so proud of you sweetheart. She’s absolutely gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” my voice breaks. Her approval means so much to me. After everything I’ve been through I know she never thought she’d see this day. But it’s here and she’s a grandma. Mom wipes her tears and steps away, allowing Brigette a moment with us.

“I want both the grandmas to have a photo taken with you and Eden,” Jimmy says as he leaves my side.

“Jimmy, I look like crap,” I whine.

“Nonsense, Jenna. You’re a new mom. There’s nothing more beautiful about that,” my mom says.

“I agree,” Jimmy says as his mom and mine each take a spot next to Eden and me. Each mom places a hand on Eden as I hold her up for Jimmy to take a picture.

“Say “cheese” my favourite ladies.”

I smile big enough that my cheeks hurt. I know how much this picture will mean to Jimmy and to me.

A
FTER
one night in the hospital I’m ready to go home. My bag is packed thanks to my mom. Eden is dressed, thanks to her dad, and ready to make her public debut. I was worried about the press, but thankfully none of the nurses called anyone so we’ll be able to introduce Eden when we’re ready.

Jimmy, of course, says she’s ready now. I swear we should’ve had a boy. He has her dressed in a 4225 West baby outfit, custom made, and her dark hair is spiked… with a pink ribbon. I gave him props for the ribbon.

I sit down in the wheelchair, holding Eden in her car seat on my lap. Harrison gave Jimmy an hour’s long lesson on how to install the base in the back of the car. Jimmy says he has it mastered. This, I’m going to have to trust him on. The moms have already taken the copious amounts of flowers and gifts we received home. Everyone will be there for Eden’s homecoming and as much as I’d love to sleep, it won’t happen at least for the next few hours.

He wheels us out, saying good-bye to the nursing staff as we pass. I think in the day and half that we’ve been here, he’s charmed each and every one of them. Typical Jimmy.

The sliding glass doors open. I cover my eyes from the penetrating sun. I make sure Eden’s blanket is over her carrier to block the sunlight. The last thing I want is a sick baby so soon. The car is all ready, having been brought around by valet. Valet in a hospital, who knew?