Finding My Forever (35 page)

Jimmy takes Eden from me and places her in the backseat. He helps me from the wheelchair and guides me to the back. I told him that I want to be close to her. I want to watch her take her first car ride. I want to be the first person that she sees when she opens her eyes.

He drives away and though I would have expected him to drive like an eighty-year old man, I was sadly mistaken. Jimmy’s Jimmy, and not everything will change overnight.

The trees in front of our house are decorated with pink ribbons and balloons. The cars belonging to our friends line the street. My heart beats with anticipation of Eden making her grand appearance. I can’t imagine all new babies do this, but Eden just isn’t any baby, she’s Jimmy’s and he does things to the tenth degree.

Jimmy pulls into our driveway and shuts off the car. He runs around the front to the backdoor, pulling it open. He helps me out before leaning in and unhooking Eden’s car seat. He holds the carrier in one hand and my hand in his other. I kick the car door closed with my foot and smile at my family as we walk toward our party.

“Well, isn’t this special.”

My blood turns cold at the sound of Damien’s voice. I don’t dare turn around and face him because if I do, he’ll be real. I eye Jimmy and Eden and the backyard wondering how they can escape. Damien wants me, not them.

“Turn around, Jenna.”

I close my eyes and let the tears fall. My life is over. I’ll never see her first birthday. I’ll never see her dress for prom or watch her walk across the stage for graduation. I won’t be there when she has her first boyfriend and her first heartbreak. I squeeze Jimmy’s hand tightly.

“Don’t,” he says, quietly.

“I have to.” I turn slowly and face the man who made it possible for me to stand here today. Yes, he was my husband, but he took his vows to the extreme and beat me. If he hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be here right now.

“Is that your baby? Humph, at least you’re not as fat now.”

I wish I could say no, but it’s obvious. I still have a pouch and my daughter is being held by her father right now.

“You know I thought I killed that man you’ve been allowing to violate your body, but I guess I didn’t do a good enough job.”

I face Damien, waiting for him to deliver my punishment.

“What do you want, Damien?”

“You. I told you that I wanted you back, but you didn’t believe me. You went and married this piece of shit and allowed him to do things to you. Things that you said you’d only do with me. You let him taint your body and now you’ve bore him a bastard.”

I close my eyes and pray for help to arrive. He’s going to hurt my family, not me. He’s going to take away Jimmy and Eden, leaving me broken and empty.

“Say good-bye, Jenna.”

“You’re not taking her anywhere,” Jimmy yells. I hope his voice carries loud enough into the house. We need help.

“She’ll come willingly. I won’t have to force her,” Damien says calmly.

“Jenna doesn’t love you.”

“Of course she does. Don’t you, Jenna?”

I don’t answer, he knows. He knows I don’t love him. If I did, I would’ve stayed and taken the beatings.

“DON’T YOU?” he pulls out his gun and points it at Jimmy. He marches closer, just a few feet from us. Eden starts to cry, but we can’t do anything to help her.

“Damien, please stop.” I let go of Jimmy’s hand and step in front of him. He stops me. “Just stop. I’ll come with you, but you have to let them go in the house. The baby, she needs to eat and you don’t want her to starve.”

“I don’t care about that bastard child. Put her on the ground.”

“NO!” Jimmy yells.

“PUT HER THE FUCK DOWN BEFORE I SHOOT HER!”

“NO!” I scream and step in front of Eden as Damien points his gun at her. The gun fires and all time stops.

I
sit on the floor, playing with Eden. Her hair is an odd color, but it’s completely unique to her personality. It’s still dark, but with natural red highlights. It’s definitely a combination of Jenna and me. I still like to put it in a Mohawk with a bow, just for a bit of fun. It drives Jenna nuts, but she never changes it. Little One is rolling over now. She thinks it’s fun, until she gets stuck and can’t get back to where she was. She screams. I say she’s saying daddy, but Jenna assures me she’s just making noises to get my attention. The minute her little yelp is out of her mouth, I’m always there to help her. Eden knows that I’ll never leave her.

It’s been two months since the shooting that changed our lives. I felt guilty first, but now there’s a sense of relief knowing that Jenna’s ex won’t be able to harm my family ever again. When the gun went off I didn’t know what to do. I froze and so did Jenna. I was afraid to put Eden down, but I had to find out where Jenna had been hit. When she looked at me with tears in her eyes, I thought for sure that I had lost her. But the telltale sound of someone hitting their head hard caught our attention. Everything was in slow motion as we turned and saw Paul Baker standing in front of us with his gun pointed at where Damien was standing.

That day my eyes moved so slowly until they landed upon Damien on the ground, eyes closed and blood dripping from his mouth. I knew instantly that he was dead. What I didn’t know was how Jenna was going to react. He was her first love and people don’t forget that.

The back door opens. The sound of keys being thrown onto the kitchen-top echo through the house, it’s a bad sign.

“Mummy’s home,” I say to Eden whose legs shake wildly. She loves her mum and gets most of her attention these days, but I’m okay with it. Eden’s hard to compete with, but I guess that’s what happens when you have a baby. Jenna dotes on her, and so do I.

“Hi, wifey,” I say loud enough for her to hear me.

“Hi.” I look up at the sound of her voice. She’s leaning against the doorframe and has a piece of paper hanging from her fingers.

“What’s that?” I nod to the paper.

She holds it up, as if she’s going to read it. “A letter from Damien’s parents.”

I sit up suddenly and put Eden in her vibrating chair and place her tiny fingers around her favourite monkey to keep her occupied. I stand up, walk over to Jenna and pull her into my arms.

“Do you want to me to read it?”

She shakes her head. “I thought we could read it together. Anything they have to say they need to stay to the both of us.”

“Okay.” I lead her over to the sofa. I sit down first, and pull her onto my lap. I rest my head on her shoulder and wait. Jenna clears her throat, but before she can start Eden lets it known that she’s missing out on cuddle time.

Jenna gets up and takes her out of her seat. She hands Eden to me and thankfully resumes her spot on my lap. This is another moment that I want to capture, sans the letter that has my wife so upset, so I can remember it forever.

“Dearest Jenna,

When Damien brought you home for the first time we knew that he had met his destruction, we just didn’t realize we’d lose our son in the process. The way Damien looked at you, the way he spoke about you and the way he moved around you, you owned his heart. We were so happy when you married and couldn’t wait for you to start a family.

It broke our heart when he confessed that he had hit you and continued to do so because it gave him a release that he couldn’t explain. We offered to get him help, but he wouldn’t admit that what he was doing was wrong. He said that you’d forgiven him after each episode only for him to find that he needed to do it again to keep you close to him.

We don’t know where he learned to be abusive, but it wasn’t in our home when we raised him. Society? Friends? We’ll never know. What we do know is that when you left him, you took his heart with you. He looked in every possible place until he saw a woman that looked just like you. He said he needed to go and find you, to bring you home.

Damien told us that your first meeting didn’t go as planned, but that he was going to make you fall in love with him again. We’re just sorry that he’ll never have the opportunity to love again, unlike you.

I hope this letter finds you well and that you’re moving on. We’re trying, but being a mother now, you know parents should never have to bury their children. But we have and we must live with the knowledge that we could’ve prevented all of this from happening.

“They didn’t sign it. I guess that’s their way of not getting closure or something.” Jenna leans her head on my shoulder. Her fingers play with Eden’s. “I don’t even know why they wrote me. The tone… they’re blaming me.”

“You know it’s not your fault, right?”

“I know.”

“People like that can’t accept the responsibility that they failed as parents. He hit you, shot me with intent to kill and was going to shoot our daughter. I’m happy Paul was invited to Eden’s homecoming because if he hadn’t been there at that moment… I don’t even want to think about it.”

Jenna folds the letter and puts it on the cushion. I’m going to shred that stupid piece of crappy paper the minute I get up from holding my girls, but until then I’m going to keep them in my arms, grateful that I have them.

I almost lost them, too many times to mention. When I look at Jenna and Eden, I see my forever. She’s the one I’m going to grow old with. She’s the one who is going to laugh at me when my Mohawk won’t stand up any longer or when Eden brings home a rock star boyfriend. Jenna’s the one that is going to be by my side when I walk my daughter down the aisle and we’ll be together when we become grandparents. We’ll have matching rocking chairs on our front porch and we’ll sip tea — even though I hate it — out of silly little teacups with our little fingers in the air because that will make her laugh.

Who knew that finding my forever would be so easy? I just needed my best mate to get married so I could hook-up with the bridesmaid. That’s me in a nutshell, innit?

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EXTRAORDINARY AUTHORS & BOOKS:

Alivia Anders ~ Illumine

Cambria Hebert ~ Recalled

A.O. Peart ~ Almost Matched

Julia Crane ~ Freak of Nature

J.A. Huss ~ Tragic

Cameo Renae ~ Hidden Wings

A.J. Bennett ~ Now or Never

T.G. Ayer ~ Skin Deep

Tabatha Vargo ~ Playing Patience

Beth Balmanno ~ Set in Stone

Lizzy Ford ~ Zoey Rogue

Ella James ~ Selling Scarlett

Tara West ~ Say When

Melissa Andrea ~ The Edge of Darkness

Kelly Walker ~ No One’s Angel

Komal Kant ~ Falling for Hadie

Melissa Pearl ~ Golden Blood

Alexia Purdy ~ Ever Shade (A Dark Faerie Tale #1)

L.P. Dover ~ Love’s Second Chance

Sarah M. Ross ~ Inhale, Exhale

Brina Courtney ~ Reveal

Amber Garza ~ Falling to Pieces

Anna Cruise ~ Maverick

Rebecca Ethington ~ Kiss of Fire

First and foremost: I have to thank the fans because without you
The Beaumont Series
isn’t possible. Your continued support and encouragement means the world to me.

And to Yvette: who once again has slaved tirelessly over my rambling to make it sound nice and pretty. You brought Jimmy to life and for that I can never thank you enough.

Jodie: words can’t express how much you mean to me. You put up with so much for so little in return. I can’t thank you enough for being my right hand. And to Big D, Sierra and Chey, thank you for allowing your mom to delve into my world, often dropping things just to take care of what I need. You have a pretty amazing wife and mother, but she has a pretty fantastic family.

Now to my AMAZING Street Team: I gave you an impossible challenge when I handed you
Finding My Forever
and you all nailed it, each and every one of you. You’re more than a street team; you’re best friends, family, sounding boards and confidants. I can’t imagine not having you part of not only this series, but others as well. Everything you tell me I take to heart. So I thank you, Georgette, Jaime, Emily, Jennifer, Laura, Holly, Jen and Joli.