Finding My Forever (12 page)

He comes behind me, pressing his wet chest against my back. His hands move around me and rest on my stomach. His thumbs move up and down. He kisses my collarbone, moving to my shoulder.

“You’re so fucking sexy.”

I roll my eyes even though he can’t see me. I’m plain compared to the women I’ve seen him photographed with. “I’m going to be fat soon.”

“Is that what you think?”

I nod. It’s what I know. I’ve looked up the pictures of different stages of pregnancy. I know what I’m going to look like. It won’t be long before he stops coming home because I’m a grouchy oversized bitch.

“Come into the water with me.” I have no reason to deny him. We’re here, on vacation, and this is what people do, they swim. I nod and turn in his arms. I tell my heart to shut down, to not look into his soft brown eyes. Even if he means well now, I don’t want the heartbreak later. His hands move up my back and into my hair. He pulls at the elastic hair band, releasing my ponytail. I’ve been trying to grow out my hair and it’s just above my shoulders. I hope he likes longer hair.

“I like it when you have your hair down,” he says, his eyes boring into mine. I wish I could read him. I wish I knew what was going through his mind. His lips touch mine softly and only briefly. Maybe he’s regretting this already. If that’s the case, he just needs to tell me, I’ll let him go. I won’t hold him in a marriage that he doesn’t want to be in. “Are you ready?” he asks, taking my hand in his. He turns me around to face the water.

“Is it deep enough to jump?”

“Of course. You’ll be fine, trust me.”

I look at him when he says trust me and feel my heart break a little. I offer a small smile and nod. He holds our hands up and we jump in. I shriek at the temperature of the water and make for the ladder. Jimmy grabs me around the waist and pulls me to him.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“It’s cold, Jimmy. I’m going back to the room.”

“Just wait a minute, Sweet Lips, it’ll warm up.” He swims us out a bit and into the sun. I lean back against his shoulder and let the warmth beat down on my face. He holds us in the water, floating. He’s right and I hate to admit it. The water does feel good. Jimmy runs his fingers along my sides, over my bump and back again. The romantic side of me wants to think that he’s trying to memorize me, but the practical side tells me that he’s doing this so that I’ll think he’s in this marriage for real.

His fingers graze my breasts. I close my eyes and lean farther back against his shoulder. I’m so sensitive and he knows that. Jimmy sucks my ear lobe into his mouth, biting me gently. He slides his hands into the front of my top, his hands massaging my breasts. He moves my bikini cups to the side, exposing me for all to see. I open my eyes and look around, but see no one. It’s as if he’s paid everyone to be gone so we could be like this.

He slides his hand down the front of my bottoms, his finger pressing against my aching clit. My back arches on its own accord welcoming the attention he’s showing my body. He bites and kisses everywhere he can reach while the water laps over us.

“Jimmy,” I say, sounding like a wanton whore.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

My hand finds the back of his head. I pull on his hair, cementing him to my shoulder. He chuckles, increasing the pressure of his finger. I don’t know how I’m not sinking to the ocean floor, but somehow he’s holding us up.

“I want to fuck you, Jenna. I want to hear you screaming my name as I make you come. Do you want that?”

I nod, unable to find my voice. His hand pushes my bottoms down, giving him more access. I move my legs and kick them off, not bothering to hang on to them. Maybe some fisherman will find them when he reels in his big catch and take them home as a souvenir.

I move my head enough so that I can kiss him. He allows it. Moving so that I’m not stretching too far. I can’t get enough and stand, the water coming to my neck. Jimmy holds me close, not letting me go. I pull him down to my lips, my tongue seeking out his. He picks me up, my legs hanging loosely around his waist. His fingers dig into my thighs, inches from where I need him. I work my hand into his swim trunks, loving the way he hisses when my hand grabs his hard cock.

He bites my lower lip, sucking it into his mouth while I work a steady rhythm. His fingers penetrate me, pushing into me. We are creating our own waves in this beautiful ocean and all I can think about is watching this gorgeous man move over the top of me with sweat dripping off his body.

I push down his shorts, freeing him from the confines holding him back. He moves, walking us deeper into the water. I don’t know what’s he’s thinking, but I go with it. I startle when I feel wood hit my back. I pull away and look behind me, confused.

“Climb the ladder, love.”

“Why?” To say I’m racked with confusion is an understatement. Moments ago we’re hot and heavy and mostly naked and now he’s telling me to climb the ladder.

“Jenna, I want to fuck you senseless, but not in the water. I don’t want to harm the baby or you for that matter. Now get your beautiful arse up this ladder before I have to work out a way to carry you up.”

I don’t hesitate. I turn and climb each rung as quickly as possible. I squeal when I feel him bite my butt cheek, but secretly love it. This is the type of passion I want in my life and if it’s short lived then so be it. I’ll cherish each moment until he takes them away from me.

Jimmy’s on me the moment my feet touch the deck. He picks me up, only to kneel on the deck. His shorts are still down, around his thighs. I reach out and stroke him. He closes his eyes before he latches onto my nipple. I squirm, needing more attention from him. He chuckles and moves to my other breast before moving down my body. His lips blaze a trail hotter than the sun kissing my skin. He stops at my bump, his lips whispering along my skin.

My head pushes hard into the deck when I feel his tongue lap at my folds. He pushes my thighs, holding them apart, taking advantage of my weakened state. He sucks on my clit, bringing me to the brink.

“Jimmy,” I say, grabbing onto his hair, holding him there.

“Scream it out, sweetheart,” he says as his lips capture mine. He slides into me, filling me. He sits back on his knees, holding my legs out giving him more space to move. He rubs my clit causing me to scream out. I arch my back, my body begging for more. “Fuck, Jenna your pussy is going to be the death of me. The way you feel against my dick, I can’t get enough.” He pounds into me, emphasizing each word he says.

Heat pools too quickly for my liking. I want this to last, even though I know we can do it again. I don’t want him to stop. The sounds of our wet bodies slapping against each other is turning me on and I can’t hold off my impending orgasm.

He moves faster and changes positions, throwing my legs up onto his shoulders. He moves closer, gripping my hips as he moves in me.

“Jimmy,” I scream as my orgasm takes over my body. I push into him, needing more friction.

“Fuck, Sweet Lips, take my dick, own it, it’s all yours.”

His words are my undoing and his as well. He slams into me repeatedly, moaning. My legs fall to his side as he lies on top of me. He kisses me, deeply, holding my face in his hands. It’s too sweet, too caring. I refuse to believe he means it because it’ll hurt later when he leaves. Keep him at a distance, that’s what I need to do.

“That was fantastic,” he says against my lips. All I can do is nod. If anything, we’ll have great sex until the day we don’t.

“It was.”

He rolls onto his side and cradles me. His bare ass is in plain sight for anyone to see. “People probably saw us. We won’t be able to show our faces in the hotel.”

Jimmy laughs. “All they’re saying is look at that lucky bastard with his gorgeous wife having sex. And you know what?”

“What?” I say, fighting back laughter.

“You know damn well that man went back to his missus and just shagged the crap out of her.”

I shake my head. “What if it was a woman?”

“Hmm. If it was a woman, she went back to her bloke and had her wicked way with him.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm, yep, definitely.” He presses his lips to mine, trailing his hand down my side. He hitches my leg over his hip and adjusts, pushing into me.

“Again?” I ask, seeing the lust in his eyes.

“Sweetheart, I’m a walking hard on when it comes to you. Thank Christ, I’ll never have blue balls again.”

Jimmy makes love to me on the deck. This time it’s much different, like he’s trying to show my heart that he’s here and not going anywhere. I just refuse to believe this will be real once we head back to reality.

S
HE
doesn’t initiate sex. I don’t know what else to do. I can’t get enough of her and yet, when I think she’s about to make a move, she shuts down and waits for me. She gets so close and then I see the moment she starts to pull away and don’t know what I can do to help guide her over the edge. I’ve tried everything I can think of. The romantic walks on the beach, shopping and making love to her under the stars. The only thing I’ve held back on is telling her that I love her… I don’t know if I’m there yet. I don’t know what else I can do. I hold her hand. I introduce her as my wife and I’ve even told a few other holidaymakers that we’re having a baby.

I just want her to want me the way that I want her. I don’t want her to feel like I’m going through the motions of being her husband. I’m in this for life whether she thinks I am or not. I just need her to trust me, to open up to me.

I lie on my stomach, watching her over my shoulder as she walks passed the bed. She thinks I’m asleep, but I’ve been awake for the past few hours watching her sleep. She fell asleep in my arms but at some point in the middle of the night, she rolled over to the other side, as far away from me as possible. I don’t like that. I know she’s been hurt in the past, but she has to know I’d never lay a finger on her.

The shower switches on and I realise I can lie here and think about the ways in which I can show her that I’m her husband in every way possible; or I can go shower with my wife and hope that she starts to realise that I’m here and that I want to be with her. I knew what it meant when I asked her to marry me and I can’t lie, it’s going to be hard. I’m used to doing whatever and whoever I want without consequence. I need to rein my shit in and honour her the way she needs to be.

Bottom line is, I won’t be my father.

I get out of bed and sit on the edge. My hand rests on my knee, the sun shining on my ring causing a prism. I look down at my platinum band and smile. I picked this out quickly and I’ll admit, I like wearing it. It makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something good in my life. I know Jenna probably should’ve had a say, but I didn’t want her to give her the option of saying no. I’m married and I’m proud to be her husband. I just have to find the proper way of showing her that.

I run to the bathroom to catch her in the shower. When I open the door, the glass shower doors are steamed up, limiting my visibility of her naked body. I open the door, and step into the hot water. She turns and looks at me over her shoulder. She heard me come in, thwarting my attempt at surprising her. I’m rewarded with a killer smile making me believe that she’s happy to see me.

I step closer, my chest touching her back. I take the loofah from her hands and drop it on the floor. She turns to face me, but I stop her. My intent was to come in and shower with her because that’s what husband and wives do. But the thought of her being covered in soap turns me on and as much as I want be with her like that, it’ll have to wait until next time. One look at her and I can’t not touch her. I need to feel her skin against mine.

I step forward until she’s pressed against the glass. Her hands spread out, steadying herself. I wonder if she knows what’s coming next.

When I have her like this she looks vulnerable, but I know better. This woman can rock my world with just one look. She’s dangerous and if I’m not careful, she’ll break my heart. There’s a glint in her eye when I place my hands on either side of her face. The water is cascading down over us making it almost impossible to see each other. I could turn it off, but I really like the steam it creates.

“Good morning, wifey,” I say as my lips meet hers. Her hands tangle in my hair, holding me closer. My hands slide off the wall and cup her arse, pulling her against my aching dick. She breaks free of my mouth, much to my displeasure. Her lips move across my cheek, to my ear and down my neck. Her fingernails move down my chest, pinching my nipples in their wake. She licks the water that has pooled below my navel. My dick jumps, begging for attention.

She looks up and winks. Her hand wraps about my erection, moving up and down. I tuck her hair behind her ears, my fingertips caressing her cheek. Her tongue snakes out, touching the tip of my dick. I have to lean against the glass when she takes me fully in her mouth. Her hands grab my thighs, her nails digging into my skin. I want to close my eyes and enjoy the moment, but I can’t stop watching her. I want to burn this moment into my memory forever.

My hips move at her instruction. I glance down in time to see her looking up at me. She’s so incredibly sexy. I can’t stand not being buried inside her. I pull her up from the shower floor. She releases my dick from her mouth with a smirk. I turn her around, pushing her tits into the glass. I wish I had a camera on the other side so I could take a photograph of what she looks like. I’d stare at it all day knowing she was waiting for me at home. I thrust into her, pulling her hair as I do. The way she screams, the way my name rolls off her tongue spurs me to go faster.