Finding Jaime (10 page)

Her hand is on the back of my seat, but she’s facing Cade. Fuck, even her ear is flawless. The loose hairs from her messy bun are hanging around her jaw and neck.
 

“I told him to get off of me and leave. When he grows the fuck up, he can call me.”

The car’s silent and I side-glance at Sadie. She’s pulled her lips into her mouth, but they can’t be contained. She bursts out laughing, and Cade joins in a second later. “It’s not funny, Sade,” she says through her chuckles.

I’m not in the mood to take this piss out of Mark or go into the sex details. Instead, I keep my mouth shut and drive to the restaurant.

We walk into the Florence restaurant on Fifth, and our waiter takes us to our table. The rectangular wooden table has two chairs either side and sits near the front, looking out over the river behind it. The lights shining on the walkway outside make it seem almost romantic.

I reach for my chair, and I pause when Joss takes the one next to me. Without saying a word, she sits down, and I lower myself before I fall. Sadie and Cade are oblivious as they continue to chatter about men and relationships.

The waiter returns, and we order our food and drinks, and the conversations pick right up where they left off. Sadie pats my hand, and I look up at her. She’s still talking to Cade, but letting me know she’s not ignoring me. I chance a peek to my right, and I see Joss playing with her fingers on her lap.

“No guy news for you?” Sadie asks her and my throat tightens. “Anything happening with that guy?”

“What guy?” Joss tilts her head to the side, and her eyebrows pinch together.

My head snaps to her, and Sadie explains. “Lou. The guy you were talking to for a while a couple of weeks ago. Did anything happen between you?”

Joss’s eyes flick to me and back to Sadie. “Uh, no. He was nice, but not my type.”

“Oh. Have you met anybody else you’re interested in?”

She shifts in her seat and resorts to staring at her hands.
 

Fuck! Sadie, I’m seriously going to hurt you
.
 

I watch Joss blow out a breath as she fidgets again. My heart kicks up speed, and I wait for her to speak.

“I think she’s been secretly hooking up with someone,” Cade cuts in. “Sometimes I can’t get her on the phone and then there are other times she looks so tired like she’s been getting kept up all night.” She winks and sticks her tongue between her teeth as she grins.

Joss’ face flames before turning back to Sadie. “Not exactly, but I think I’m getting somewhere.”

“Oh, so that means there’s a someone!”

A rock plummets to the pit of my stomach but hits nothing. It continues to fall and drags my mood further with it. I know all too well what the sensation is, but there’s nothing I can do about it.

What exactly did you think would happen?
I try to quiet the voice in my head, and I dig my fingernails into my palms to stop my mother’s judging voice from breaking through and telling me that it’s a sign that I should ‘meet a decent man who’ll love me and look after me.'
 

“Excuse me, I need to use the restroom,” Sadie says and she and Cade both stand.

“Me too. I’ll come with.”

I watch them leave and look down at my half-eaten food. I lift the fork to my lips, but I can’t stomach another bite of the now cold vegetable stir-fry.

“I thought you were wasting away?” Joss says, and I turn to see her happy face.

“Nah, I lost my appetite,” I reply and put my fork down.

“Are you okay? You seem upset.”

I clench my jaw and look straight ahead.
 

It’s not her fault, asshole!

 
I want to ask her why the hell she chooses now to speak to me when all I’ve done is be nice to her, try to talk to her, be friends… But the past week that she’s been ’trying harder’ has been royally screwing with my head.

Butterfly wouldn’t do that. She’d show you what’s going on and make you own up to it.
 

Yeah, she would. I’ve met her twice, but I already know how that situation would go down, and that image disturbs me. I squeeze my thighs together, but the blush creeping up my cheeks only adds to the bubble threatening to burst.

Okay, what the hell’s wrong with you?”

We’ve just dropped the girls off at Joss’ place, and now that we’re alone, Sadie’s giving me the third degree. I’d been quiet during the rest of dinner, and all I wanted to do was leave.

“I’m just not in the mood.”

“Like hell you are,” she snaps. “You were fine when we left, then when…” She stops.

Fuck, I want to know what she’s going to say. “When what?”

“When I told Joss you sorted yourself out. Is that why you’ve been quiet?

I turn to look out of the window for a second. “Not exactly, but you didn’t have to say that, Sades.”

“You’re usually the first to offer that information,” she fires back. “I was just trying to be funny.”

“Sadie,
I
offer the information about myself, not anybody else. How would you like it if I spouted out that you and Mitch were fucking like rabbits last night, and I heard every dirty detail because you were getting rammed over the side of the couch?”

“Jai!” she squeals, and I blow out a breath at her horrified expression. “That’s private.”

“So, me getting myself off isn’t?”

“Look, I’m sorry—”

“It doesn’t matter, Sade,” I say and shake my head. “I bring it on myself. If I didn’t act the way I do, you would never have done that.”

We get to the apartment, and I park up and get out of the car. Sadie follows quickly behind as I rush to get inside.

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with the way you act,” she says, grabbing my arm. “You’re the coolest person I know, and you wouldn’t be you if you acted any other way. I shared personal information without your permission, and I am so sorry, babe.”

I walk into the living room when she releases me, but I stop and turn around. “What if I told you the real me you think you know is just one big fucking lie?”

I open my bedroom door before she says, “I’d still love you all the same, Jai. You’re my best friend no matter what.”

“I love you too.”

*****

“Sam, can this wait? I have three more end-of-month reports to complete, and my head is already killing me.” He stands there just staring at me with his eyes wide and his mouth open. “What?”

“Nothing,” he stutters. “I just…well… You look lovely today.”

I roll my eyes and count to ten. My white blouse and simple black shift dress seem to have done something for him. I’m pretty sure he likes the secretary look and wouldn’t mind me bending over his desk asking how he’d like me to sort out his ‘filing system.' I know exactly where he could fulfill that fantasy, but I put it to the back of my mind the second House enters it.

“Thank you,” I say between my teeth. “Now what exactly do you want?”

“Well, I was going to ask if you have the financial agreements for Garside Construction. They’re due a review and need to see where their expenditures could be cut back.”

I huff and get out of my chair to the filing cabinet next to the window, and I can see Sam’s reflection in the glass. He’s staring at my ass and rubbing his hand over his cock as he does.

“Do you mind rubbing yourself off somewhere else, Sam? That’s something I don’t want to see.” I turn with the file in my hand, and his pale face has me shaking my head. “Get the fuck out of my office, and the next time you need something, pick up the fucking phone or I’ll have you fired.”

He takes the file and leaves my office. I watch him move like an Olympic speed-walker down the corridor to his own, and I slam my door.

“Fucking slimeball!” I whisper shout and kick leg the of the table.

Pain shoots through my foot and into my ankle.
 
I open my mouth wide and cover it with my hand to stifle my roar of agony. I take off my heeled court shoe and look down at my foot. My big toe is red and beginning to swell.

“Oh, just fucking great,” I complain. “That’s all I need.”
 

I’d been in a shitty mood since the restaurant yesterday and not being able to talk about it has only made me feel worse. I’m the world’s worst pain in the ass when I’m pissed. And right now, bottling it all up is making my chest tight.

I pick up my purse and search through for a new bottle of Advil, and I see my membership card. I chew my lower lip and tap my fingers on the edge of the table. The one place I know I can go to, to do whatever the fuck I want and not be judged for it, and I know at least one person there who I can talk to without feeling like a fuck up.

Chapter 9

I’m sitting in my room, clicking through different items on the internet shopping site. It’s amazing the things you can buy on there and also stuff I would never have thought would be available. Well, the last thing I want is for a parcel to arrive for me and find it has the name of the ‘Floggers for You’ site on it. Sadie would freak out and want to know why the hell I’m looking at a purple restraint set. My stomach flutters as I add the item to my cart. There are so many different items, but I like the look of the one with a black lace overlay, just like the masks at House. Warmth spreads down to my pussy as I add the set and make the purchase.
 

“Yes, I would like it by tomorrow,” I say out loud, now thankful I’d decided to get the next-day service, and I know I’m going to keep it going if I’m going to make more purchases like this in the future.

After another hour, I’ve also ordered a sexy push-up corset in black—black is always sexy—and a red, lace-through-top floral corset. The gap in the front will show my tits through the ribbon, and I feel wet already thinking how erotic it would feel to wear that. A couple of ruffle skirts and a pair of steampunk gloves and I complete my purchase. It’s an hour before the club opens and I have a need I want fulfilling tonight. There’s nothing holding me back now; I’m going in with an open mind and a willing heart.

I’ve had three beers now, and I haven’t seen Butterfly yet—if she’s even here. I’ve caught glimpses of Fuchsia in a tiny white strapless dress as she’s been fleeting from the previous room and the bar, and as I see her again, I want to find out where she’s going. The archway at the other side of the dance floor is dark, but I’ve seen people coming and going. That’s where Fuchsia has just disappeared, and my nosey ass gets up to follow her.

There’s no corridor. Instead, there’s a narrow stairwell leading down to the next floor. The walls are painted black with a gold border around the top and bottom, and there are curved mirrors following the pattern of the steps. I reach the bottom and find myself in a corridor that doesn’t seem to fit the building.
 

Probably customized the basement.

I see closed doors and pass one that’s open. I remember the rules; I don’t want to watch, but a movement catches my eye, and I see a couple in a small room on a huge bed surrounded by candles on various surfaces. The spread-eagled man’s wrists and ankles are cuffed to the metal frame, and I see Lily from the last time running a long, silver stick with a flat piece at the end over his chest. I’m transfixed on the slow but precise movements when she turns to me and kisses the air in my direction.

“Bunny,” a voice says from behind me, and I jump almost out of my skin and squeal. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Fuchsia’s holding back her laugh. “Where the fuck did you come from?” I ask instead of chewing her out for scaring me.

“In there,” she says, thumbing towards the door behind her. “A group wishes to use it, so I made the arrangements for their needs.”

Oh, I want details!
 

No, you’re a pervert, Jaime!
 

I try to stop my head from having another argument with itself by just letting it go.

Fuchsia breaks my thoughts. “What are you doing down here?”

My face heats. “I followed you,” I admit. “I saw you coming and going, so I decided to see where you’d gone. Then I saw…” she looks over my shoulder into the room.

The man is groaning with pleasure, and there are light slapping noises coming from that direction.
 

Fuchsia takes my hand and starts walking. I look into the room one more time, and my head is screaming at me
‘you’re a pervert, Jaime!’
and I grit my teeth. Lily taps the square end of the stick in a sudden movement against the man’s chest, and he moans again.

“That’s a riding crop.” Fuchsia offers no more information as she leads me up the stairs and back to the bar.

Two hours I’ve been here and I’ve seen another rope display—which I made mental notes for my delivery, Lily giving a man pleasure by whacking him with a horse whip, and now I’m watching people just randomly making out and performing their own versions of flogging and tying up. They all look like they’re having fun, and now I understand more of the appeal of this place. A misplaced whip is forgiven quickly, practicing flogging techniques treated as education, and some just for others to watch for pleasure. This isn’t something you could do in a more hardcore place. I pretty much think you’d be expected to know what the fuck you were doing. I couldn’t imagine a man asking his wife over dinner if he could practice some bondage techniques before bed. No, this is the exact place to pick that shit up without being ridiculed for it.