Finding Hope (15 page)

Chris got up and put another log
in their fireplace adjusting the glowing flames and logs with his sturdy iron poker.

“When I was younger, my parents used to take me to church ever
y Sunday. I was actually in many church activities every Wednesday night, too,” Hope said staring at the iron tool as it rolled and maneuvered the burning logs. “My father was a very spiritual man.”

Grace sat down on her fine leather couch next to Hope and asked, “Do you still believe?”

Chris turned his attention from the fire and looked at Hope anticipating her remarks. “I don’t know anymore. There’s so much sadness in the world. It seems that everywhere I go, people are disconnected from anything real,” Hope answered feeling unsettled with the talk of the divine. “If there is a great plan, it seems that I’ve been excluded.”

They continued to talk late into the night
about faith, love, and God. They learned so much about one another, building strong, new relationships.

Over the next several days, Grace and Chris introduced Hope around
Chapel Hill. Consistent with her usual ways, Hope was kind and friendly to everyone she met. Even though she always wore a brave face, she was slipping further into depression and was struggling with her past. They accepted her as she joined them in their lives. The faith these people had was inspirational to Hope who easily pulled her conviction from her experiences as a child. The group formed a cooperative community, dependent on one another. Hope spent time with many people doing daily tasks like fishing, laundry, and cooking. After a week or so Hope ended up working with one of the ladies she met when she first came to town. Stephanie asked her to help make costumes for an upcoming Christmas pageant. Hope agreed instantly to the request.

“I’m happy to help, but remember, on December 8
th
when the train arrives, I need to be moving on,” Hope said gently.

Stephanie could see the insistence in Hope
’s eyes and replied, “I know dear. Any help you can give would be great. What you’ve done so far is amazing. These costumes look so professional. We’ll be able to reuse these for years to come.”

Hope smiled, proud of the work she’d accomplished. She had really done an amazing job on the costumes. Using colorful fabric from
discarded garments, Hope pieced together high quality outfits with strong sturdy seams and beautiful authentic detailing. The children in the Chapel Hill nativity scene were going to look like they belonged to any of the best Broadway productions.

“So Hope, when you leave, where’re you heading next?” Stephanie asked while working on the costumes.

“Not really sure. I just keep heading east,” Hope said quietly.

Stephanie watched Hope, admiring her skill with the needle and thread to stitch perfectly sewn lines.
“Where’d you learn to sew so well? Did your mom teach you?” Stephanie asked.

Hope didn’t answer. She was caught up in her memories of the struggles she’d been through. Even though
it was weeks since she left her crew in St. Louis, she still felt the need for her chemical fix. She felt tired all the time and was beginning to feel saddened by life. Thoughts of Julian hung heavy within her as did the memories of Mika and his death. She was alone in a town she did not know with people she’d just met. She felt dependent on them, which made her feel trapped. She’d give anything to see Gabe and Faith again. Their faces would pull her out the depression that was pulling her down lower every day. She also thought about Joy. She wondered what happened to her and if she’d found happiness. In the craziness of a broken world, Hope needed to find a friend.

“Hope, are you listening?” Stephanie quietly asked. “Did your mom teach you to sew?”

Hope resurfaced for a moment before sliding back into her isolation and memories to answer, “No, I learned to sew because I had to.”

Chapter 13

A New Life

“Hey
Dad, I think I’m going to stay here a couple more days if that’s alright with you,” Isaac announced as his father intently read some letters from Washington, DC. “A couple of friends are coming up from Norfolk, and I’d like to spend time with them. I should be back sometime before the weekend.”

Mr. Howard looked up clearly lost in his thought
s and said, “Your mom’s expecting us back tomorrow. How will you get home?”

“It’s no big deal. I’ll just catch the last train to Dover on Thursday,” Isaac
anxiously replied. “Come on Dad, I’m almost twenty-two. At some point you need to trust me.”

Mr. Howard smiled at his
son wondering where all the time had gone. “I know you’ll be fine, and I trust you. It’s just that I’ve always protected you, so it’s a change for me,” Mr. Howard admitted feeling guilty. “Go ahead. We’ll see you on Thursday night. Do you need any money?”

“No, I got it covered. My friends are meeting me here
, and we already have a room,” Isaac replied.

The following morning, Mr. Howard and h
is aides left the train station heading back to Dover, Delaware. Isaac settled into his room, alone in his childhood town. He spent the morning hanging around the hotel finally having lunch around eleven-thirty. After lunch Isaac walked out to the beach to take a long stroll. He walked for miles along the cold ocean watching the misty foam spray from the surf. As he walked in the afternoon sun, he noticed a small fishing skiff a quarter mile off shore. It was being thrown around by the power of the waves. He fell back on the gritty sand to watch the small boat upon the blue sea. Isaac examined the small craft as it was pushed to shore only to struggle to find its way back out.

A single fisherman was navigating the wooden boat, oars in hand, paddling like mad. He’d drift in with the currents, catching what he could, only to return to the impossible rowing. The tiny boat continued
to toil among the angry depths determined to conquer nature despite its insignificant size. After forty-five minutes of battling the Atlantic, the fisherman gave up. Isaac could feel his frustration as he finally saw the tiny craft row to shore hundreds of yards down the coast. Sadness overcame Isaac. He couldn’t reconcile the imagery before him.

Why had life become so difficult? Isaac thought back to a time when he was a child. He used to sit and watch large fishing vessels work the coast. Equipped with state of the art technology, these crafts owned the sea. Guided by GPS and deep water sonar, they would drag their nets back and forth across the ocean floor.
Ships from far away lands could even be found in these waters. With cryptic names on their hulls, they pillaged the sea. Now a solitary fisherman, without the power of technology, could no longer work the sea. Was it exhaustion that finally got the best of him, or was it something more? Maybe it was the insurmountable task he had taken upon himself? The ocean was just too big, and the boat just too small to make any difference in the grand design. Whatever it was, the fisherman appeared empty handed leaving no answers to the questions Isaac pondered.

As the tired old fisherman pulled his boat upon shore, Isaac walked down the beach toward him. The sand sunk while he walked the line where land meets the sea. His trail
of foot prints slowly disappeared, the tide washing over them erasing his presence from the beach. Isaac reached the man who was putting away his gear.

“Tough day out there,” Isaac said approaching the fisherman.

“No worse than yesterday,” the gruff man replied. “At least the sky stayed clear. Rather be dry and tired than wet and tired,” the man said looking up at Isaac.

“How long were you out today?” Isaac asked trying to
sound supportive.

The man put down his heavy spool of braided rope and lit a smoke. “Ah, just a couple h
ours I guess. Don’t really know. What time is it anyway?” he asked.

Isaac checked his wristwatch and
answered, “It’s almost six. Dinner time I suppose.”

The man sighed and reached for his oars carefully placing them in a small homemad
e cart by the side of the road. Isaac could tell he was bothering the man who was simply trying to get his things put away. He felt like leaving the man behind but was fascinated by the fisherman’s futile work.

“Do you need a hand?
” Isaac asked.

“Yea
h, I could use help if you’re offering. I need to pull the boat all the way up here and lock it up tight for the night,” the man explained exhaling a large drag from his hand rolled cigarette. “She’ll be heavy though. You think you’re up for it?”

Isaac looked at the old fisherman and replied, “I think I can manage. My name is Isaac by the way.”

“Alright Isaac, let get this done,” the fisherman said walking by Isaac’s out-stretched hand. “Time is money, oh yeah, and I’m Bruce.”

As they walked back down to the surf, Isaac followed, tired from walking in the heavy sand. Reaching the skiff, Isaac began to hear a furry of snaps and pops coming from the boat. When he finally reached the craft, Isaac was astonished. The small fishing boat was filled with hundreds of large fish.

“Wow! You had a good day,” Isaac said in amazement. “What do you have here?”

Bruce’s hard jaw mellowed
, and his wrinkled face broke a short flash of pride as he identified his catch. “Well, got some bluefish, a few sea bass, and those are kingfish. Yeah, I did alright,” Bruce explained. “Fishing has turned around this year. The kingfish don’t spook so easy and the bluefish have come back.”

Isaac caught his breath
examining the catch. “I was watching you out there, and it looked like you weren’t getting much. I thought you were having trouble staying out of the surf,” Isaac insisted unable to believe his eyes.

“No, I was just where I wanted to be. There’s a small reef out there nobody knows about. I was just drifting back and forth scooping ‘
em up,” Bruce explained. “They were gone for several years, chased away by the commercial boats. They’re back now, and between you and me, they’re hungry.”

Isaac reached in and grabbed a larg
e kingfish. Admiring the weight of the heavy fish, he admired the coloration and streamlined body. “This has got to be thirty pounds. How’d you find out about that reef?” Isaac asked as he struggled with the animal.

“My grandpa and I used to fish here when I was a boy. I’ve lived in this city my
whole life. I know these waters. They’re like home,” Bruce explained as he looked across the horizon. “Ten years ago these waters were dead. There was nothing but small little ones. The big ones stayed deep. Now nobody comes here to fish. No one knows about these waters. So here I am.”

“What do you do with all these fish?” Isaac asked still
amazed.

“Well, I sell ‘
em mostly, but they keep my wife and boys fed too,” Bruce said patting the mound of flopping fish.

“Well I’m impressed sir. G
ood for you. I had no idea. I thought you were wasting your time out there. Boy was I wrong,” Isaac said feeling thrilled by the turn of events.

Isaac and Bruce fought the heavy ship for ninety minutes until it was up along the side of the road. Bruce then chained the old wooden boat to a lamp post that once lit the boulevard. Isaac watched Bruce unload his catch into the small cart while singing an old sailors
’ tune. It was a scene lifted directly from the pages of a classic American novel. His heart welled with pride watching the man, smelling the fish, and living the Americana moment.

“I’m so glad I met you Bruce,” said Isaac as the fisherman continued to sing his triumphant song about the sea. “I’d better get going, there’s a girl I’m meeting tonight.”

Bruce’s voice raised and climaxed as he reached the final chorus of the song. He was smiling wildly with eyes twinkling as he belted out the song’s lyrics. Isaac chuckled to himself softly returning to the beach and his miles of coast line.

Around dinner time
, Isaac stepped into the dining hall of the hotel which was filled with fish, seafood, and roasted meat. Isaac sat alone eating the feast all by himself looking around the room for the girl. He then walked onto the gaming floor to play cards and roll some dice. Still the object of his desire was nowhere in sight. After losing several hands, Isaac realized Joy wasn’t working. He was hoping to see her again and continue their conversation from the night before. They had hit it off. They spoke for almost three hours, deeply connected. Joy played her little game where she had met him before while Isaac played along. He was spellbound by her cute little smile and playful attitude. She really made an impression on Isaac who had never had a woman focus on him directly. Even though he was certain they had never met before, he was transfixed on her persistence. He couldn’t shake her out of his head – the reason he had lied to his father.

After two hours of hanging out on the gambling floor, Isaac knew she wasn’t there. He quietly paid his debt and returned to his room. As he reached his floor, Isaac turned the corner
leading down the hall to his room. He spotted the girl leaving a room with a tray in hand.

“Green eyes, I thought you left this morning. How are you?” Joy asked giving Isaac a warm hug.
“Last night was fun.”

Isaac shyly smiled trying to play it cool. “Yea
h, I decided to stay over a couple more days. I have a few friends coming up from Norfolk tomorrow, so I thought I’d stay,” Isaac said with his best poker face.

“Friends from Norfolk huh, are you sure you didn’t stay just to see me again?” Joy asked in her playful way.

Isaac could feel his fair skin turn red as he began to blush and said, “No really, they’re arriving in the morning.”

Joy grabbed Isaac’s forearm and continued to play saying, “Isaac you silly boy, don’t you know you can’t lie to me. We were once husband and wife.”

Embarrassed, Isaac smiled quietly. “Well, I don’t want to keep you up too late, with your friends coming in and all, but if you’re around later, I’m off at ten,” Joy offered feeling giddy. “They have me working room service tonight, and it rarely goes later than ten.”

Isaac’s chest filled with joy, happy to have more time with the girl he met the night before. He reached out and grabbed her small hand and said, “You know I’ll be waiting.”

Isaac returned to his room and anxiously waited until it was time to see Joy again. Trying to read a book, his mind kept drifting to Joy. The anticipation was unbearable as he sat alone in his room. Unable to wait a moment longer, Isaac decided to get some room service.

“Yea
h, I’m hungry and could sure use a little dinner. What would you recommend?” Isaac asked the clerk outside his room.

“We have so many things.
What are you in the mood for?” the cheerful order taker asked. “Do you like lemon? We have the best lemon tarts.”

Isaac looked at the menu and finally selected a slice of carrot cake.

“Ok sir. I’ll run this down. Give us ten, maybe fifteen minutes. Someone will bring it up.”

Isaac signed the slip and assigned a generous tip. “Is there anyway Joy could bring it up? We’re old friends,” Isaac explained.

“That should be no problem. Just give us a few minutes,” The clerk responded.

Returning to his room, Isaac became nervous as he waited for Joy. He wen
t to the bathroom to freshen up – brushing his teeth, combing his hair, and making sure he looked his best. Shortly after Isaac placed his order, the moment finally came. He heard a soft knock on his door. He opened it up to see Joy’s beautiful smiling face.

“Hey sweetie
, couldn’t wait could you?” Joy said in her usual confident way.

Isaac, overwhelmed with the moment took the tray
, set it down on a table nearby, and embraced Joy. She looked at his kind smile and fell into his bright green eyes. He slowly moved in and kissed her waiting lips. Shutting the door behind Joy, he held her close feeling her firm soft body on his chest and pelvis. She held him tightly, kissing him deeply, and feeling the connection she knew was there. Isaac ran his hand down and wrapped his arm around the small of her back pulling her to him completely.

After several moments of passionate kissing, Isaac broke free from the embrace.

     “I had to see you. You’re all I think about,” Isaac said dizzy from the kiss.

    
“That was nice. I could’ve done that all night,” Joy said still clinging on to Isaac’s lean body. “What took you so long?”

    
“I’ve never been with someone like you. I wasn’t sure what to do. You mean so much to me, and yet we’ve just met,” he replied lost in the desire to kiss her lips again.

    
“You’re all I think about, too. It must be our past lives. We’re drawn together,” Joy said sliding her fingers through his soft red hair.

    
Isaac smiled and gave Joy another warm kiss. “I can’t wait to see you later. I’ll be right here waiting.”

J
oy stumbled out of Isaac’s room feeling drunk from his kiss. Her head was spinning as she thought about his face. She knew she had spent time with Isaac in the past. It was the kind of memory that was hidden deep in a distant area of her mind. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she knew it was there. It felt like it was from her childhood. Maybe middle school, like he was her first love. The longer she thought about the memory, the more fleeting it became. For the next two hours she tried to uncover the mystery while she completed her shift.