Finding Hope (14 page)

Morning came, and the sunlight filled the valley with hope and optimism. An unseasonably warm breeze shook the naked trees as birds sang in the distance. A small fox, moved along the valley floor living its life, unchanged by the failures of man. Foraging for small mice and critters, it dashed through the thicket. Hope felt the rocky ground push at her spine. Her toes and fingers
numb, she turned her weak body while still asleep. Then a noise woke her from her slumber.

Her nose was burni
ng from a foreign pungent scent as she cracked her eyelids to let in the bright light of the sun. Inches from her face, she saw huge black nostrils dripping with foam. Clouds of mist were puffing out and gathering on its shaggy tan fur. It was so close droplets had formed on Hope’s frozen cheek as the smell of musk overwhelmed her. Hope gazed at the beast. Standing six feet tall, the mighty buck towered over her. The creature, less than a foot away, was looking directly into her eyes. She felt it looking through her into her soul. It was reading her memories and feeling her pain as she laid there motionless, huddled in the place she chose to die.

Suddenly the beast pushed his head down carefully and pressed his antlers into her chest. The pressure was so great her lungs pushed out all remaining air. Hope knew her death had finally come. But then something different began to happen. The pressure on her chest subsided as the antlers softly slid below her back. Slowly it moved up under her shoulder until it secured itself under her arm. The monster slowly began to raise Hope into the sky with its antlers hooked under her back and arm. Moments later the beast had raised Hope to her feet. She stood in silence. Then the large deer took a step forward. And then another, slowly moving Hope back until he was standing over her spot. The beast quivered slightly and began to defecate, scattering feces all over the ground. In a flash, wildness glossed across its gentle eyes as the beast reared up and let out a horrible shriek. Terrified, Hope felt its cry rattle across ever
y tendon in her body.

Hope backed up slowly, her eyes fixed on the animal. The gian
t buck shook and spit in disdain. Feeling the danger of the moment, Hope recoiled and turned to run. From somewhere inside her, a new energy took hold. She scampered through the tall dead thicket out into the clearing. Moving like a wild animal, Hope continued to dash across the countryside, leaping over boulders and fallen trees. She dropped behind an enormous rotting log which was lying on the edge of the woods. She needed to see if she was being followed. After several minutes of unchecked fear, Hope began to calm down.

Another emotion set in as she breathed
in the crisp November air. Many times in the past, Hope felt the urge to flee, but this time was different. She had no anger towards the beast, and she wasn’t offended by its actions. The mighty buck was in his element, and she was the intruder. As she hid below the carcass of the once mighty tree, she felt a connection she’d never felt before. Hope didn’t feel like a spectator. Instead, she felt like a creature of the forest. Her eyes were opened, sensing the world around. She was hearing sounds and picking up on scents she had never experienced in her life. Hope stood up and calmly began to walk.

No l
onger haunted by her petty self-image, the memories plaguing Hope dissipated. They were replaced by a new sense of wonder from the planet all around her. She became secure in her role among the creatures and walked rejuvenated by an unseen power. The small patches of temporary snow crunched loudly beneath her feet. As she walked, she obsessed over the sound. It changed depending on the ground where she walked. In the heavy, dormant grass it became muffled with a slight hollow sound. When she walked through the heavier thickets, she could hear the dried branches snap below the snow. She stopped and listened for a moment and could actually hear the faint rustling of smaller animals burrowing beneath her feet. Hope was shocked at her ability to tune into the frequency of the forest.

Hope made her way down the ridge and into the valley, lost in her senses. She could hear so many sounds around her and could pinpoint the source. The surrounding hills came alive with movement and sound. Then she noticed a small change coming from the north. With precisio
n she heard the slight movement of wings capturing the wind as a hawk took flight. She looked knowing that in just moments she’d see a majestic bird break free from the trees to enter the heavens. As the hawk flew across the vaporous clouds, she could tell which way it was looking. She sat down and studied the bird as it looked for its next prey.

Then as she’d determined the hawk
’s change in direction, she watched the slight upturn of its wing. She saw it focus its gaze on a small gray ledge six hundred yards away. She fixed her eyes on the small stone out-cropping only to make out the lines of a well camouflaged jackrabbit. She could somehow tell by the rabbit’s lack of movement that it too was watching the hawk. In an instant she knew what the rabbit was thinking. It was going to take its last stand and run for the thicket fifty yards from where it sat. In a blur of movement, the animal bolted from its hiding spot. In slow motion, she watched the hawk respond with a dive. She could see the talons stretch outward as it caught the rabbit in mid leap. The hawk never touched the ground as it overcame its prey. Hope was mesmerized by what she was experiencing. Never before had she been connected to the wild on this level.

Watching the hawk fly away
into the low laying clouds just above the distant hills, Hope realized something profound. The hawk was intimately connected to the surrounding landscape. The only way it could have noticed the rabbit from such a distance was to see what was out of place. Not only did the hawk see its well camouflaged prey, but it also knew its escape route. To become such an expert predator, the hawk must know everything about the surrounding hills. Where each stone was positioned, each tuft of wild grass, and even the subtle changes in elevation of the planet’s surface, all known by the hunter. The ability to detect and track food from high above the earth, only to dive and capture the prey in one fluid motion was astonishing.

Hope then thought
deeply about the jackrabbit. How could this animal survive among these skilled hunters living for years hidden? She marveled at its ability to survive. This was an equally impressive feat. Acting only on instinct couldn’t be enough. How did it know how to survive? Even with the complexity of human language, she doubted those skills of evasion could be taught. The rabbit knew it needed to remain still, somehow sensing the hawk. It also knew when it was detected and when it was time to run. It scurried across the random landscape bouncing over obstacles and ducking under all available cover. It knew right where to go and when to go there. In a last glorious maneuver, the rabbit jumped towards the sky taking the offensive. Although it lost its battle, the scene would forever impact Hope.

Hope sat alone in the wilderness
contemplating life. How had man, so advanced and dominant, become so helpless? Why did the human species lose the ability to adapt and survive like the hawk and the rabbit? Why had she become so disconnected? As she pondered these questions it hit her like a puzzle piece falling into place. These animals were tied to this location. They knew their home completely. The jackrabbit didn’t have a career consuming ten hours of its precious day. The mighty hawk didn’t vacation in the Poconos. They spent their lives learning their local habitat. They knew everything about the landscape because they’d become a part of it.

These wild creatures didn’t have other animals from faraway lands dictating their behavior or telling them how to find balance in their environment. They understood the balance because they knew their
land. Hope knew in that instant she needed to get back home to her local environment, Ocean City. With all fear erased and self-importance gone, Hope stopped being human and became a creature among the animals.

As the sun stood tall in the sky, Hope walked among nature. Feeling the changes in the wind, she walked across the fields. Old farms cluttered her path, clearly abandoned and left empty. The livestock gone and fields left fallow, the farms painted a tragic tale. These farms
that once fed a mighty nation were now left abandoned to bake in the sun. There were large tractors frozen in time, almost hidden by the un-kept land, rusting in the November air. The clutter that remained gave proof that at one time people occupied the land. Still nobody could be found as Hope made her way through the scarred landscape. Around two in the afternoon, she reached the boundaries of the town she saw the night before. Standing along the dusty road she read the old tin sign, “Chapel Hill, Kentucky”.

Chapter 12

Chapel Hill

After several days lost in the wilderness, Hope limped into town. Hungry, tired, and half frozen, she slowly made her way through the streets. People stopped their daily tasks to watch her, unsure what to think of her. She was dirty and cold, desperately seeking refuge. As she made her way towards the center of town, Hope felt the strength slip from her thin body. Unable to walk any further, she collapsed on the road.

When Hope finally
awoke, she found herself warm on a firm cot tucked carefully in a small stuffy office.

“Hello, anybody…
is anyone there?” Hope called out.

She stood and noticed her clothes neatly washed and folded next to the cot. A small plate sat next to her bed with
a large piece of bread and a handful of walnuts. Hope quickly began to eat the tiny meal. While she savored the taste of the bread, Hope examined the humble office. Stacks of paper cluttered the desk with little organization to the madness. On the wall behind, a large corkboard hung completely filled with tiny notes and small pictures of smiling faces. To the left of the desk and near the foot of her cot stood a large wooden bookcase packed to capacity. Hope walked over to the books sitting dusty on the shelves and began to explore the titles looking for clues. Hope quietly stood continuing to eat and read the names of authors she didn’t know. There were huge texts ranging from philosophy to theology with authors like Gritsch, Russell, and Rogness. Each book was delicately bound with the strictest attention to detail. After reading the titles, it became clear to Hope that she was in a church.

Hope finished her meal and quickly changed clothes. As she walked out of the office and into the attached sanctuary, she heard a mellow voice call to her.

“Well, hello stranger. Feeling better?” the voice inquired.

Hope looked around the expansive room unable to determine the voice
’s origin in the empty space. For a moment, Hope became caught up in her surroundings. She flashed back to her younger years when her parents attended church. She became fearful of the disembodied voice that seemed to have no source and quickly walked towards the exit, passing the rows of pews.

The voice called out again.
“Leaving awfully fast. No thank you or good bye?” Hope froze in her tracks and again looked around the empty room. “Up here, by the organ,” the kindly voice instructed.

“Oh I’m sorry. Didn’t see you up there,” Hope
answered in a meek voice. “Yeah, thanks for the food. I really needed that.”

A thin
man was standing up on a ledge hidden by a mighty pipe organ behind the sanctuary stage. “Hold on just one moment. I’ll be down in a second,” the smiling man announced.

The man disappeared behind the organ and reappeared minutes later. “You’re sure in a hurry. Kind of a dine and dash thing, huh?” the young man dressed in a red and white flannel quietly
asked Hope.

“No…
I mean, I’m sorry. I was just a bit startled,” Hope replied. “I couldn’t see you up there, and it freaked me out for a second.”

“Well, who’d you think it was?
God?” the man asked softly with a chuckle. “My name is Chris. I do odd jobs for the church. I’m also one of the deacons here.”

Hope looked around the well maintained facilities and asked, “And…
where is… here?”

Chris pointed to a small wooden sign hanging on the wall and
answered, “Faith Valley Community Church.”

“So where
are you heading next?” Chris asked in an inquisitive tone. “You know when we found you, you were in pretty tough shape.”

Hope shrugged her shoulders
like a child being questioned and quietly answered, “East. I’m on my way east.”

Chris smiled at Hope
recognizing her wandering spirit and for a moment admired her lack of responsibility. “Well, if you could hang out one more night, my wife and I would love to have you over for dinner now that you’re vertical,” the kind man offered.

Hope suddenly realized her bag was missing. She had it when she left the steel canoe, and she knew she grabbed it when she ran from the dee
r in the woods.

“Where’s my bag?
When I got here I had a little red bag,” Hope exclaimed frantically.

Chris recognized her panic and quickly
responded, “Calm down. It’s still in the office. It was all wet when you collapsed.”

Hope didn’t wait for Chris to finish talking and ran back into the office. “You went through my stuff! What gave you the right?” Hope
demanded.

“We were trying to figure out who you were. We just wanted to know how we could help you,” Chris answered defensively.

Hope wildly gathered her pictures lying on a table behind the desk. “Is that what you people do? Go through people’s stuff without permission? Where’s the little leather kit?” Hope yelled.

“It’s right here. We didn’t take anything. We were just trying to help,” Chris responded starting to get angry.

Hope opened her sewing kit to make sure everything was there and asked, “What makes you think I need your help? Did I ask for your help?” Hope grabbed her stuff and ran out of the office and left the building.

As she bounced down the
church stairs, Hope found herself in the center of a town she didn’t recognize. It appeared to be deserted, with businesses closed and empty in the afternoon sun. She turned and continued her escape along the boulevard. She moved swiftly through the streets cinching her jacket closed to fight the bitter wind. After she made her way a couple blocks from the church, Hope saw a few people sitting and drinking coffee at what had once been a small gas station.

“Hello friend. I
t’s nice to see you up and around,” a young woman called out from a distance.

Hope stood and examined the situation, surprised by the stranger
’s attention.

“Hi,” Hope said. The tall awkward woman stood and started walking in Hope’s direction.

“Hi there. You probably don’t remember me, but I’m the one who found you a couple days ago. You feeling better?” the smiling woman asked.

“Oh, well…
thank you,” Hope said hesitantly unable to ascertain the woman’s intent.

“My name is Grace. I’m surprised to see you back out here in the cold. Are you going somewhere?” Grace asked.

Hope saw the woman’s smiling face but still couldn’t fight the urge to be offended. “You guys went through all my stuff. You don’t even know me. Why’d you look through my bag?” Hope replied feeling angry but keeping her cool.

“Yea
h, I’m so sorry about that. That was my fault. Your stuff was dripping wet, and we didn’t want it to get ruined. My husband told me we should leave it alone, but I never really listen to him,” Grace said with a grin. “We also wanted to know who you were. We don’t see travelers coming through these parts very often – especially on foot. I’m so sorry about that. I hope that didn’t upset you.”

Hope was disarmed by Grace and felt embarrassed by her rudeness. She could see the stranger meant no harm. After all, she was thankful for the meal
, and it felt so good to have warm, clean clothes to wear. “I’m sorry for getting so annoyed. I know you didn’t mean any harm,” Hope answered quietly. “I’m just trying to make my way back home.”

Grace shook Hope’s hand and led her to the small table where the others were sitting. “I didn’t catch your name,” Grace said clearly looking to introduce her.

“My name is Hope,” she replied looking at the two other women sipping coffee.

“Hope. N
ow that’s a pretty name. Well, Hope… this is Angela, and over there we have Stephanie,” Grace said motioning Hope to sit down.

Hope greeted the two women and sat down at the table. The prettiest of the three, Angela, spoke first, “So you’re heading home. Where are you from?”

“I’m on my way back to Ocean City. I left there almost twenty years ago, and I’m thinking it’s time to return,” Hope replied.

“Do you have family there?” Stephanie asked
as she took a sip from her hot cup of coffee.

Hope
leaned back before answering, “I’m not really sure. I haven’t seen my mother for a long time, and my father passed away when I was really young.” The three women, showing compassion, listened closely to Hope tell her somber story. Hope continued to tell her story, leaving out the details of loss and addiction.

“So that pretty much brings me to today,” Hope announced feeling comfortable with the kind ladies.

“So, I hope I’m not being too nosy, but where is everyone? This town looks pretty dead. How many people live in Chapel Hill?”

Grace smiled at Hope and replied, “There are about fifty families living here. Over the last several years, more and more people left, heading to the cities. We stay because this is our home
, and we know that someday things will get better.”

Stephanie leaned it and added, “We really have everything we need. And what we don’t have, God provides. You just got to have faith.”

Hope thought about Stephanie’s words and liked the way they sounded. Such a simple notion. Just have faith, and whatever you need will be provided.

“So how long are you staying Hope?” Angela asked.

“I’m thinking I’ll catch the next train out if I can. I’d like to get moving before winter sets in ya know,” Hope replied optimistically. “What is it now? November 4
th
?”

Grace looked at Hope surprised by her answer
and said, “Dear, it’s the fifteenth. Winters just around the corner, and when it comes, you’ll know it. Plus, the train only comes monthly, and it will be three weeks before it comes back this way.”

Hope was devastated by the news. She had no money and nowhere to stay. “Three weeks, why so long?” Hope
asked revealing her predicament. “I can’t wait that long.”

Angela read Hope’s face and continued, “The next town is almost fifty miles from here
, and the train stops there first before arriving here.”

“You can stay with me if you need
a place,” Grace offered like a Good Samaritan. “I’m sure my husband, Chris, will be OK with it. You’d like him. He helped me nurse you back to health yesterday.”

Hope understood the situation and agreed to Grace’s offer. Having no other options, she’d have to stay put and wait for the next train out of Chapel Hill.

When Hope reached Grace’s little home near the abandoned elementary school, she feared facing Chris. She felt terrible for the way she had treated him when she left the church earlier that day. They walked through the front door and immediately encountered the thin man.

“Well, h
ello there stranger. Fancy seeing you here,” Chris replied kindly.

Hope tried to avoid eye contact with the smiling man.

“Hey honey, this is Hope. She’ll be staying with us until the train comes back through,” Grace explained.

Hope
once again felt uncomfortable for her rudeness to the man and apologized sincerely, “Hi again. I’m so sorry I ran off earlier. I just felt like a deer in the headlights and needed to get out of there. I hope you understand.”

Chris chuckled softly and put
his hand on Hope’s arm answering, “No worries. I know how it can be. You can stay with us as long as you need. Are you hungry? I was just about to eat.”

The three sat
to eat a small meal of corn, salad, and fish as Hope began to feel comfortable in the company of her new friends.

“So tell me a bit about Chapel Hill,” Hope said devouring the meager meal. “Grace was telling me many of the families had left town.”

Chris offered Hope more fish and continued to explain, “Well, just like everywhere else, this town has seen many dark days. When the country fell apart, we stopped getting shipments of diesel. Without fuel, the farming dried up. It’s amazing how much was grown using things this small town no longer had.”

Hope shoveled the tasty ve
getables into her mouth listening intently to the history of the town. “When we could no longer pull crops from the soil, we had nothing to trade with other communities around here,” Grace explained. “We were cut off, unable to feed the people in this town. When the snow came, many families just up and left. A few of us stayed behind knowing things would get better. We had faith that even in the darkest hours, we weren’t alone. Then, the following spring food pushed up from the earth. It wasn’t easy, but we were able to get what we needed from the land.”

Hope could see the optimism shining from their faces an
d the faith the both possessed. She wondered how they’d been able to stay strong through the difficulties surrounding them and asked, “And things just got better each day after that?”

“No, not at all. We’ve always struggled, but behind every challenge is a greater reward,” Chris replied. “You just need to keep reminding yourself that everything
happens for a reason. The answers for why these things happen are not available to us, but there is a plan – a grand design to everything.