Finding Her Way (4 page)

Lauren followed her out, closing the door behind them. They both dashed for the elevator.

Jerrica was anxious to get back to her office. She couldn’t lose her temper in the elevator.

“Jerrica, I’m sure he didn’t do that on purpose,” Lauren said, trying to soften her boss’s irritation.

“I’m pretty sure he did. I wanted to smack that smug look off his face.”

The elevator doors finally parted as they reached the seventeenth floor. Jerrica didn’t even wait for Lauren to exit the elevator. She was at a swift run before Lauren even stepped out.

Jerrica’s childish response made Lauren giggle in relief as she strolled toward her desk.

Jerrica rushed by Jaime’s desk and right into her office, slamming the door behind her.

Jaime stood just in time to see the door close as Lauren reached her desk. “Did everything go okay?”

“The presentation was great. Mr. Bisset was an asshole. Give her at least a half an hour before you call or let anyone see her. I’m going to the lounge to get something to drink. I’ll be right back,” Lauren said.

“These two women are so confusing,” Jaime mumbled aloud, shrugging her shoulders in bewilderment.

Jerrica tossed her jacket on her desk and started pacing her office. She had so much adrenaline going through her veins that she couldn’t calm down. She continued replaying the meeting in her head. Her speech had been flawless given such short notice, but that wasn’t what was bothering her. She was infuriated with the way John had excused her from the meeting. He made her look like a subordinate, not his equal. Why couldn’t they have stayed for the full meeting? If he gets that new person he wants so badly, it will only be because she did the work for him. She would never do anything directly for him again. The more she pondered about it, the more frustrated she became. Stopping in front of the windows, she stared out into the city. “Breathe Jerrica…breathe.”

She pulled a chair close to the window, dropping heavily onto it. Trying not to focus on one physical object, she let her eyes blur and her mind venture into nothingness. A loud knock on her door broke her trance. “Come in,” she said in a scratchy, dry voice.

Lauren stepped around the corner with a mug a in her hand. “Warm tea to help calm your nerves and to help ease your voice.”

“How do you always know what I need,” Jerrica replied, accepting the mug.

“I knew you would need something after that meeting. Mr. Bisset is a jerk. You were great!”

“Thank you. I don’t feel like discussing the notes right now. I’ve decided to make it an early day,” she said, sipping her tea. “I need to get out of here before I lose my temper, which means, in turn, I lose my job.”

Jerrica retreated behind her desk. Placing the mug on the desktop, she turned to grab the briefcase from the floor.

“There’s only two hours left in the day and I just need to cut out of here,” Jerrica commented as she retrieved her coat. “Call me if there’s an emergency. I’ll handle everything else tomorrow.”

Before Lauren could even get out of her boss’s office, Jerrica was already through the doors, heading for the stairs.

Jerrica was down the stairs and out into the street in what seemed like seconds. She paused the moment her feet hit the sidewalk. A chilly breeze reminded her that it was still spring even though the bright sun warmed her face.

What am I going to do until it’s time to board the train? she thought. I guess I didn’t think this through.

She couldn’t board her train for another two hours. Jerrica chose to walk toward the station hoping that something would catch her interest. The streets seemed busy for the mid-afternoon. She strolled along, trying not to walk into people who didn’t even seem to notice her. She observed crowds rushing by in a hurry to get somewhere, talking loudly on their cell phones or into their headsets. Not one person was looking around enjoying the beautiful city that surrounded them. Jerrica realized that she was one of these people at times. She never took the time to look around anymore.

Have I become that shallow?

Crossing the street, she made the impetuous decision to stop at Equal Exchange Coffee House. She would treat herself to a warm latte and a much needed break. The sudden sound of her name made her pause. She thought she was imagining it and not wanting to look silly by stopping in the middle of the crowd to look around, she continued toward her destination. A few steps closer to the coffee shop she heard her name once more. She paused and looked around. Jerrica immediately recognized the woman pushing through the crowd. This day seemed to be getting worst by the second. Before Jerrica could convey her salutations, she was in an unwanted embrace. The embrace was blessedly quick, respectable since they were in public.

Jerrica stepped back. “Hello, Devin. How are you?”

“Hello…Devin? You don’t sound happy to see me.”

Jerrica knew Devin’s deep blue eyes were staring at her and she blushed. Pausing a moment to regain her composure, she managed to flatly respond. “What kind of response did you want? How long has it been since we’ve seen or talked to one another? Do you even remember the last time we talked?”

Jerrica looked into Devin’s eyes for a brief second, seeing the pain of the memories.

“Can we talk about this somewhere else?” Devin said, glancing around.

“That’s right,” Jerrica said in an elevated tone for everyone around the couple to hear. “You don’t like to talk about us out in the open.”

She could clearly see the discomfort in Devin’s face and the uneasiness in her posture as she fumbled with her hands. Jerrica almost felt sorry for her…almost.

“Listen, I just want to talk,” Devin said in a soft voice.

Jerrica could hear the begging in Devin’s tone. She hesitated a moment, wondering why she was even considering this. “Fine. I’m headed for the coffee house, if you would like to join me, you are welcome to.”

Devin reached out a hand, touching Jerrica on the shoulder as she turned to leave. “Jerrica, please stop. I would like us to talk privately. My car is waiting,” Devin implored.

She wasn’t obligated to Devin but felt compelled to give her a chance to say her piece. Jerrica nodded her acceptance. They walked together in silence toward the luxurious vehicle awaiting them.

Peter, Devin’s driver, rose from the car as they stepped closer. “Good afternoon, Ms. Kerrison. How have you been?”

Peter held the door open.

“I’m doing well. It’s nice to see you again.”

She stepped into the car, sliding to the other side to give Devin plenty of room to enter the vehicle.

Devin didn’t even acknowledge her driver, her current company her only focus.

Once everyone was settled, Peter reached for the handle of the driver’s door. He situated himself behind the steering wheel. “Where to?”

“The usual place,” Devin replied.

When the car pulled onto Main Street, Devin cleared her throat. “So, how have you been? I’ve missed you.” Receiving no response from Jerrica, she continued. “Thank you for coming.”

“Honestly, I don’t know why I’m going anywhere with you, but until we get there I don’t want to do small talk if you don’t mind. We can talk once we get to our destination.”

Jerrica stared out the window lost in her own thoughts. After plenty of silence and several blocks, Jerrica recognized the route they were taking.

“You’re a little too predictable, Devin,” she said, turning her head away. “You’re taking me to your apartment. We are just talking, nothing else!”

Devin didn’t even glance at Jerrica as her monotone voice retorted. “I figured it was really the only place we could talk privately and yes, it’s just to talk.”

“Oh, you mean a place that no one would see us together,” Jerrica snapped.

“Jerrica, let’s talk about this when we get inside,” Devin said, responding to the bitterness she heard in Jerrica’s voice.

Devin voice was not just angry but full of unspoken emotions, making Jerrica shift back to looking out the window. Pulling up to Devin’s building, Jerrica sighed with dread of what her afternoon was turning out to be.

Peter opened the door at the curb.

“Thank you, Peter.” Jerrica smiled to him as he held out his hand.

Jerrica felt a strange deja vu standing on the sidewalk waiting for Devin to exit the vehicle.

“Peter, please park the car in the garage. I’ll call you when Ms. Kerrison is ready to leave.”

Jerrica felt sorry for Peter because of the way Devin treated him. She smiled at him in hopes that he could see how sorry she was. Peter just shrugged his shoulders at her.

Devin didn’t even take a second look back in his direction. She was already walking toward the main entrance of the building. “Jerrica, are you coming up?”

The door attendant opened the door as she approached. Jerrica followed Devin across the lobby, to the elevators. Jerrica found that the exquisite lobby, with its chandeliers and brass lighting, didn’t impress her anymore. Things had changed between them and that had tarnished objects she’d once thought were so beautiful. There was no conversation until they were safely in Devin’s apartment.

“May I take your coat and briefcase?”

“Fine,” Jerrica said, relinquishing the briefcase, then her coat.

Devin smiled as she placed the items in the entryway closet.

Jerrica instinctively walked across the open living room to the large windows, revealing views of the park below and the beautiful harbor in the distance. This was one of the best views in the Boston area. Taking in the sight, she had almost forgotten where she was. Jerrica was just about to step back when she felt the warm body standing behind her. Devin stood an inch taller than she did but in heels, she towered over Jerrica. Devin’s warm breath was lightly brushing the back of her neck. Devin had removed her shoes, Jerrica realized. She stiffened, feeling Devin’s hands brush up her biceps.

As if feeling the sudden chill in her companion, Devin dropped her arms to her sides, stepping back. “Would you like some wine?”

Not waiting for a reply, Devin headed in the direction of the kitchen.

Jerrica’s current position made her feel like a trapped mouse. She needed to move away from the windows. She looked around the room and noticed that the furniture hadn’t moved since she had last visited. Jerrica walked to the brunch table, taking a well-positioned chair that faced the room. There were four large chairs to this table, making plenty of room for an abrupt escape around either side.

Devin returned to the living room with wine glasses in hand.

Jerrica studied the woman whom she was once involved with
.
She was a beautiful but a complex woman.

Devin was a shark in the business world and sometimes that spilled into her personal life. Being an only child, her parents, especially her father, had indulged her every whim. As she grew into an adult, the self-centered attitude grew stronger, rooting itself deep inside her soul. When she wanted something, she moved heaven and earth to obtain her goal or prize. She could be genuinely caring and loving but also cruel and mean. Devin’s father gave her everything but he took everything from her as well. She allowed him not only to steer her career but he also controlled her life. His influence kept her from being honest about who she was and from living the life she wanted. His controlling nature had ruined every relationship, male or female that she had ever had. Devin had become accustomed to hiding the fact that she preferred woman above men.

“I’m here.”

Devin smiled seeing Jerrica at her brunch table. Jerrica recalled the many times she had entered this room to find Jerrica wearing nothing but one of her dress shirts, sitting in that exact chair, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.

Jerrica, witnessing the soft change in Devin’s face, knew she was reminiscing. She needed to remember to keep her distance from Devin. They had a history and some unresolved emotions between them. “So, I’m here. What is it you want to talk about?”

“I can see you want to get down to business. You never change, darling” she said, placing both glasses on the table.

Devin situated herself in a chair across from Jerrica so she could see every expression.

Not replying, Jerrica sat with her arms folded on her chest and waited for Devin to continue.

Devin pulled her wine glass closer, nervously rotating it in her hand. Softly clearing her throat again, she whispered. “I’ve missed you.”

Jerrica reached for her glass, again adding nothing to the conversation.

“Jerrica, did you hear me? I’ve missed you.”

“Is that supposed to make me swoon,” Jerrica questioned, lifting her glass.

Irritated, Devin watched Jerrica slowly sip her wine. Devin observed, with great interest, Jerrica’s soft lips brushing the cool glass as she tasted the liquid
.

Jerrica thinks her cool exterior puts her in control. She’s playing games with me, she thought.

Devin sat back in her chair, grinning.

She wants to play her cold games with me, I can play games too and do it so much better.

Seductively, Devin crossed her legs, making sure her skirt rode up her legs a little higher. The slit in the skirt revealed the lace of her garter belt lace to her guest.