Finding Forever (Living Again #4) (27 page)

“That was fabulous,” Lacey said. She hadn’t stopped talking since they got in the truck from his parents’ house. They had taken her on a tour of the ranch. She had squealed like a little girl when she saw the horses, having to stop and feed them sugar cubes and nuzzle them. She had then offered to come check them out anytime if they needed veterinarian services. Of course, after she was done with treatments.

She had fed chickens, pet a baby calf, and asked his dad so many questions it made Brant’s head spin. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her be so animated in all the time he had known her.

“I think my dad just might worship the ground you walk on,” Brant joked. “He’ll probably trade me in for you.”

“No way,” she giggled. “Plus, he doesn’t have to trade you in. He gets both of us. He seemed like he was really trying today. Did you think so?”

Shockingly enough, he did. “Yes. I think a lot of it had to do with you. Thank you. You’re such a bright ray of sunshine in my life, Doc.”

“You remember that when I’m hugging the porcelain god and have no hair, okay?” She smiled at him sweetly, and he groaned. She just didn’t stop.

It was Lacey’s first day of treatment, and Brant thought he might be as nervous as she was. She had gotten the port put in when they returned from Florida. It was underneath her skin on her chest. You only saw it if you looked up close or she moved a certain way. For all intents and purposes, she was ready. Her left breast was healed, her port was in. All that was needed now was the poison they would put in her body to kill the cancer cells.

Brant had turned down two more shoots where he had to travel, and his agent was getting worried. At this time, he was only accepting jobs that he could do within driving distance of Lacey. Angela thought he was committing career suicide, and maybe he was. But he never wanted to look back on this time and regret that he wasn’t there for her. Everything else could wait.

After their time at his parents yesterday, he had felt the most positive he had in a long time. Maybe it was possible for him to have a relationship with his family now without judgment. Time would tell.

“Ready?” Lacey stood at the doorway, wringing her hands. She was so scared she was barely holding it together. Not that she had said that; he just knew her. Brant didn’t blame her at all, because he felt it, too.

“Ready,” he answered, trying to smile at her. The truth was, he wanted to go lock himself in the bathroom and cry. He hated that this was happening to her.

“You didn’t think you would get away without seeing me, did you?” Sam’s voice boomed from the front door. Brant had known she was coming; there was no way she was staying away from Lacey today.

They walked down the hall to see Sam and Ellis, baby Kerri sleeping on her mom’s shoulder. She embraced Lacey, and Brant and Ellis shared a look over the women’s heads. They had been talking quite a bit since they had returned from Florida, and Brant thought he was a fantastic guy.

“Give me that baby,” Lacey cooed, taking Kerri from her mom and settling on the couch with her. Brant smiled, mouthing
thank you
at Sam. She needed the distraction.

Max woofed from the back door, Sophia and Maggie right behind him. “They need to go out,” Brant announced. “Ellis, want to walk out with me?”

Ellis looked back at the two women, bent over baby Kerri, and nodded. They walked out onto the back porch, watching the dogs run through the yard.

“How are you holding up?” Ellis asked. “Sam’s been a wreck. I don’t think she’s eaten or slept in days. I’ve found her crying at least a dozen times. I feel so helpless because there’s not a damn thing I can do. I’m not used to not being able to do something to help her.”

Brant nodded. “That’s about how I feel too. When Lacey does fall asleep, I find myself just staring at her, hoping and praying that I can sleep next to her for the rest of my life. What if she doesn’t beat this, Ellis? I don’t think I could survive it.” Brant hadn’t vocalized his fears to anyone, afraid that Lacey would know how terrified he actually was.

Ellis blew out a breath. “I can’t imagine how you must feel. I know how I would feel if Sam was going through this, and that’s just me thinking about it, not having to live it. She and Sam are like sisters, and Sam’s already lost one sister to cancer in her lifetime.”

“I didn’t know that,” Brant said. “That’s terrible. I know we’re all here for her and we just have to believe that everything’s going to work out for the best. I can’t thank you and Sam enough for being such a huge supporter for her during this time. What Sam did for her in Florida, it was amazing, man.”

“Sam doesn’t have all the final numbers yet, her accountant is working that out,” Ellis said. “But, man, the number that she’s estimating is
staggering
, Brant. You won’t believe what Sam has done. It’s insane.” He shook his head. “That wife of mine, she has people eating right out of her hand. In this case, it’s for a wonderful reason.”

“How much?” Brant asked quietly. He knew that Lacey was uneasy about the money, as happy as she was for what Sam did for her. Both he and Lacey made good incomes, and even with her out of work for the next few months she felt she would be okay. But Sam didn’t think ‘okay’ was enough. She had even offered to move Lacey anywhere in the country she wanted if she found better doctors there.

Ellis looked back at the door, then to Brant. “Over a million dollars, Brant. Can you
believe
that?”

Brant’s mouth dropped. “What? No damn way.”

Ellis nodded. “Yes. Those people went batshit crazy for those private concert tickets with the dinner, then they spent a crapload on the auction and merchandise, too. Once the magazines got a hold of the story, she got even more people coming forward. It may end up being more than that, man. Is that crazy or what?”

A million dollars? Sam was giving them a million dollars? For Lacey? He knew exactly what the reaction was going to be when she found that out.

Brant pulled in the parking lot and cut the engine. Lacey hadn’t said a word all the way here, but he didn’t expect her to. When Sam had left, Lacey had held onto her and cried, then fell into his arms. She hadn’t come back since then.

She went to open the door and Brant reached out his hand, stopping her. “Come here,” he said softly. She paused, then turned and tucked herself into his arms. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head, words failing him. There was nothing more he could say. She had to endure this.

The opening chords of one of Sam’s songs started playing on the radio, and Brant smiled when he realized that it was “
Through It All”
. Lacey had told him that Sam had written this song when things had fallen apart with Ellis, and while the words were meant for a completely different scenario, it worked for them, also.

Lacey sniffled as the words bounced around the cab of the truck. He tried to memorize everything about this moment: the way Lacey’s hair was tickling his nose, the scent of her body wash, and the feel of her body against his. He knew they were in for a roller coaster for the next few months, and this felt like calm before the storm.

Please help her survive this
, he thought. As the song ended, he tipped her head back so she was looking at him. He knew they had to get inside for her appointment. “Every word in that song is true for us, Lacey. I’ll be here, through it all. There will never be a moment that you don’t know I’m here, no matter what. Do you understand that?”

She nodded, her chin quivering. “I love you, Brant. I have no idea what I’d do without you.” He kissed her soft lips, all the while thinking that he had no idea what he’d do without her, and hoped he never had to find out.

“Want some good news before we go in?” Brant asked.

“You have good news and have been holding out on me?”

He nodded. “Has Sam told you how much money she raised at the benefit?”

“No,” she whispered. “Do I want to know this?”

“It’s amazing, Lacey. What she’s done for you.”

“How much?”

“Ellis said over a million dollars.”

Lacey stared at him, not even blinking. “
What?
You’re kidding, right?”

“Not kidding. She’s giving you over a million dollars.”

“I can’t accept that, Brant! That’s insane! A million dollars!”

“I knew you were going to say that,” Brant said. “I think you can come up with something great to do with that money. Use it like an opportunity to start up something or be a part of something you never would’ve been able to before.”

She walked up to the reception desk, her eyes scanning the room. Lacey wasn’t sure what she had expected, but it looked like just any regular doctor’s office with its muted colors and paintings on the walls.

“Name?” The lady behind the desk jerked her back to attention.

“Lacey Russell,” she said softly. She gripped Brant’s hand so hard, she knew she had to be hurting him, but he never complained. She knew he was just as scared as her, but was trying to be brave for her. He wasn’t the only one that could sense something wrong.

“Come on back,” another lady said. Her name tag said Sabrina. “They’re setting up for you now. You’ll be here at least four hours, maybe more.”

“Four
hours
?” Brant spoke up. “They put that poison in her for four hours?”

She smiled sympathetically at both of them and nodded, indicating the hallway. They followed her silently, Lacey’s heart pounding in her chest. Sweat beaded on her forehead as she struggled for control. All she wanted to do was turn and run as far as she could away from here.

She opened the door, and Lacey couldn’t contain her gasp. The room was stark white with white floors, had rows and rows of chairs with IV poles next to them, and was almost full with patients. It looked like a holding cell or a… morgue. There was nothing warm at all about it.

There were a few TV’s turned to different channels, but no one seemed to be watching. Nurses moved back and forth, looking harried and overworked. Her eyes scanned the people, seeing young and old, men and women, some looking like they had barely made it into the room. Some of them had hair and some didn’t. But they all wore the same expression on their faces: despair.

She involuntarily started backing up, running into Brant. She jolted, looking up at him. His eyes were also wide. “I can’t do this,” she whispered.

“Yes, you can. I’m right here.”

“This way,” Sabrina said, leading her to a chair near the corner. She was relieved to see no one next to her. Brant found a chair and pulled it up next to her.

“Your nurse is Dena,” she explained. “She’ll be with you as soon as she can. There’s magazines in the pocket of your chair, and others over there that your husband can get for you.”

Lacey didn’t even correct her. She looked around, wondering if anyone could read magazines while getting poison in their veins. There were a few people reading on Kindles, some playing on phones, and others with their eyes closed. She guessed it became like everything else and you just got used to what you had to do to survive.

“This place is awful,” Lacey whispered, her hand still tightly in Brant’s. “Why in the world would you be in a room with everyone? There’s no privacy at all!”