Finding Christmas (15 page)

Jim nodded. “Thank God. But we couldn’t do it all. PTSD is tricky. Everyone thinks a vet is going to snap and hurt people, but in most cases it’s quiet. They withdraw, avoid people. Getting her home was tough, but getting her to start living again, well, she needed something else, and it seems you’ve given that to her.”

“Excuse me?”

Jim grinned. “You think we’re blind? The way the two of you looked at each other on Thanksgiving, I knew this was coming. Mary Pat was in a little bit of denial, she still is, but I’ll get her to come around.”

“You’re okay with it, then?”

Patting his shoulder, Jim gave him a smile. “I’m fine. But…” He was still smiling. “If you hurt her, I might have to kill you. That’s just a little something to keep in mind.”

“All right, then.” Nothing like a warning.

“Look, Will. I know things happen. But Maggie is recovering. She talks a good game, but she’s not strong like she used to be.”

Maggie was damn strong, in his opinion, but he also didn’t know her like her family. “I’m always mindful of what’s happened to her. All I think about is how much she’s gone through and how much I admire her. But I think she’s stronger than you’re giving her credit for.”

“Good. That’s all I can ask for.”

Matt came out of the locker room, saw Will talking to his dad, and his face dropped. Reluctantly, he walked over when his father called him.

“Matty,” Jim said, “I’m going to lay this out.”

There was no response from the younger Benson, just a roll of the eyes.

“Your sister and Coach Fitz have something nice going on. It doesn’t change anything for you, but it could change everything for Maggie. While they figure this out, you will suck it up. Are we clear?”

Will had to admire Jim’s straightforward approach. It was no-nonsense, and practical. He reassured Matt, while looking out for Maggie. Father of the year material, all around.

“Sure. Whatever.” Matt nailed Will with a cold stare. “I’m going to the car.”

Jim didn’t say anything else when Matt walked away. “He’ll be fine. That was a better response than I expected.”

“Really?”

“Heh. Trust me. That was fine. Come by the house tomorrow. We’re decorating the house and tree, you can help.”

“Oh, okay. Sure. That sounds like fun.”

“Seeing Maggie later?”

The man was incorrigible. “What? The twins didn’t get anything out of her at breakfast?” Will joked.

A laugh burst from Jim’s belly. “Not enough. So, are you?”

“I’m picking her up in about an hour and we’re going shopping.”

“Shopping?”

“Hey, it makes her happy.”

“Good man, Coach,” Jim said as he walked out. “Good man.”

*     *     *

“He invited you
over tomorrow?”

“I couldn’t say no. He’d just given us his support by telling your brother to kill the attitude.” Will held Maggie’s hand as they walked around the outlet shops. The shopping center was set up like an Italian town: there was an ice skating rink, arches, and pedestrian walkways that were lined with different shops. So far he and Maggie hadn’t bought a thing, but they had gotten coffee, cookies, and chocolate.

Maggie stopped. She stared at their joined hands until she tilted her face toward his. The Christmas lights that framed all the rooftops and arches in town shone off her beautiful skin, sparkled in her eyes, and color reflected off her hair. It had gotten cold, and her cheeks and nose were a soft shade of pink.

“Um, there’s an
us
?” Her voice was low, soft. As light as a snowflake.

Will saw all he ever needed, all he ever wanted, in Maggie’s emotion-filled dark eyes. Pink stained her cheeks as a single tear tracked toward her chin. With his thumb, he grazed her cheek, and lingered there, catching the tear.

Pressing his lips to her temple, the warmth of her skin was a marvel. It took away the chill that had been part of his life for far too long.

Maggie pressed her body into his, and Will whispered the answer in her ear. The adoring sigh that came out on a breath made him fall a little but more.

“We are most definitely an
us
.”

‡

I
t had started
to snow.

It wasn’t a hard snow, but a gentle reminder that the first day of December was in two days. Maggie hadn’t seen snow in three years—the last time she was home for Christmas. And remembering how she spent the past Christmas in a rehab unit in Texas, the snow made her happy.

It was yet another reminder that things were changing.

Maggie was curled into the corner of the couch at Will’s house, staring out the big front window, amazed at how things had changed in a few short weeks. She’d gone from hopeless to hopeful. Her life was far from perfect, but when Will settled next to her, handing off a mug of coffee, Maggie figured it was pretty damn close.

“I love the snow. I’ve missed it.”

“I like it too, but I could use a break from it. The last two winters have been brutal.”

“Mom told me. But anything is an improvement for me, so I’ll take it.”

“True enough.”

The coffee was good, hot, and spiced up with a splash of Irish Crème. She was snuggled against the most amazing man she’d ever met, and they were an
us.
How wonderful was that?

The snow just made everything perfect. Finally, it was starting to feel like Christmas.

“Where are your Christmas decorations?” Maggie was in the mood for some Christmas bling, and Will’s house was in desperate need.

“In the basement. I have several big closets down there for stuff.”

“Stuff?”

“Yeah, things my parents gave me when they moved, mementos, Christmas decorations and the tree…”

Maggie was shaking off what she just heard. “Excuse me. Did you say the tree is in the basement?”

“Well, yeah.”

“It’s decorated then? You’ll get another one for the living room. If you rearrange some furniture you can put the tree in the big window.”

“We can do that now. I’ll go get the tree.”

As Will headed for the stairs, realization smacked Maggie upside the head. “Please, tell me, is this tree fake?

Seeing where this was going, he walked towards her, putting on a tough guy act that no one in their right mind would fall for. “What of it?”

“We cannot speak of this again. We need to go out and find a tree.” A fake tree. Maggie was appalled. Sure, she knew people had allergies, or cats, or they worried about fire, but she hadn’t had a real Christmas in years. One of the reasons she came home was just to catch the scent of a real tree.

“What’s wrong with the fake one?”

“Let me count the ways. Get your coat.”

“My coat? Maggie, are we really going out for a tree?”

She nodded.

“It’s cold and snowing,” he pleaded. “Come on, let’s just stay here and, I don’t know… make out.”

“As tempting as that is, the tree comes first. Finding the perfect tree is like… I don’t know… like finding Christmas.” Maggie ran her fingers down his arm and gripped his hand. “Come on, it will be fun.”

“Finding Christmas, huh? Okay, so we tree shop,
then
we make out.”

Pushing up on her toes, Maggie kissed him gently. God, she loved this man. There was no use in denying it any longer. “I promise you, after we get the tree, we’re going to do a lot more than make out.”

*     *     *

When Maggie told
him they were going to do a lot more than make out, Will got an erection that wouldn’t quit. It was the best kind of agony, but every time she smiled at him, played with her hair, or he caught her scent, he felt like a damn animal. They found the tree and, of course, the kid netting it up so they could put it on the car flirted with her. Everyone flirted with her, but this time, Will was so jacked up on testosterone, he wanted to kill the guy.

Never in his life had he felt so proprietary, so bonded to a woman, but since he’d met Maggie, the attraction had been as visceral as it had been emotional. His body wanted her, as did his heart, and his mind.

Walking over to him, her smile was brilliant and her hair was dusted with fresh snow.

“What did you mean by ‘finding Christmas’?” he asked.

Without hesitation, Maggie settled in his arms. “Christmas is a state of mind. A feeling. It’s love, really. Security, comfort.” She rested her head on his chest. “Thank you for indulging me. This was about so much more than a tree.”

He already knew that, but to hear her say it helped him see the importance of each little ritual. Each thing… shopping, baking, decorating, buying a tree… was helping Maggie find her way back from the edge she’d been living on for the past two years.

She was reclaiming her life and finding strength, one day at a time.

“I want you to be happy.” His voice was hoarse, choked with emotion. It was the truth. Making Maggie happy was all Will wanted.

“I know you do. And I can’t tell you how much you mean to me. I just don’t want you—I don’t know—to feel burdened.”

“I can’t imagine you’d ever be a burden to anyone, but especially not to me.” His mouth hovered near her temple. The two of them were caught in a moment of truth that was full of potential, along with being ripe for disaster. He had to tell her. “Maggie, I’m crazy about you. I’m not one who leaps without looking, or is in and out of relationships. I care about you. I want you in my life, Maggie Benson.”

“This is outrageous. We’ve only known each other a few weeks.” When she exhaled, he could see her breath hanging in the cold air. “I’m a train wreck. Are you sure you don’t just want to fix me?”

“There are a lot of things I want, but I don’t think you need to be fixed. I just want you to be happy.”

“Take me home, Will.”

Shit. He’d done it now. Disaster. “Home?”

It took a second, but Maggie brought his hands to her lips, gently kissing each knuckle. “Your home, silly.”

His heart legitimately skipped a beat.

“Yes,” she said with a shy smile. “I mean, we do have to put up the tree, and there might be some other things we might… I don’t know… want to do.”

Will dragged her close, wrapping his arms securely around her. “I can think of a few things we could do, but it’s all up to you. Whatever you want.” Tilting his head back so he could see her clearly, he brushed the hair back from her face. “You’re beautiful, Maggie. That’s all I see. You.”

“Thank you. Thank you for trying to see me. Now let’s go. We need to bring your tree home.”

“
Our tree
. You have to lay claim to some of this.”

“Okay… our tree.” She kissed him again. “But you have to hurry up or I might jump you as soon as we get in the car.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Will picked up one end of the tree and Maggie picked up the other. “Are you going to be okay with that? Too heavy?”

“Nah, I’m fine. Not so bad. But just so you’re aware, if I wanted to jump you, I’d find a way.”

*     *     *