Authors: A.T Smith
“Me either, but time Leighton, we have plenty of time,” I inform him, looking into the blue and brown eyes of JT and Isabella. “Time,” I say again.
“Mummy, can I have her back now, she needs me?” Joseph begs me, looking at me with his big puppy dog eyes. I sigh and resolve to letting him have his way. I have many years with this family and I’m not sad to let my own son enjoy the responsibility of being a big cousin.
“What is that about?” Leighton asks as I hand Joe Bella, and then stand back up with Joshua.
“You’ll see, watch,” I tell him, giggling softly as straight away, Joe begins stroking her head and kissing her face gently.
“You know, Isabella, we are going to be the best of friends when you’re bigger. Nobody will ever hurt you, no boys will pull your hair or kick and punch you. I will hurt them if they do, because I’m your big cousin and that’s what I do isn’t it? I can't wait for you to be bigger so you can play with me. I’ll be the best friend you will ever have. Gosh, I love you so much already.” I look over my shoulder at Leighton as he watches his son in action.
“He is such a beautiful child Leighton. I thank you and Josie for giving me him. I hope she can understand how much I love him,” I tell him, kissing his lips as they present themselves to me.
“He is amazing, look at him, he is in love already. That little girl isn’t going to ever be hurt, that’s for sure.” Leighton’s smile is beaming, his pride apparent and the tears even more so.
“Yeah, she’s going to be safe,” I answer, leaning against my husband and allowing his warmth to surround me. “I love you, Leighton. I forgive you, for everything. I don't care what happened, I'm just glad you’re back. I don't need to know, all I do know is I’m happy and you’re safe.” Leighton smiles into my neck, placing tiny feather light kisses along my collar bone.
“Forever, Abbi. I promised you forever and always, so I’ll be here forever. You are my world Angel and nothing will ever change that. I live and breathe you. I’d die before I let anyone hurt you, including myself. Your forgiveness is everything to me, it means a future with you, with my beautiful wife.” Gosh, he is just so damn stunning.
I allow myself to relax, relish the atmosphere and the beauty of my two children glowing happily. I watch as Leighton picks our daughter up, throwing her high in the air before catching her. Then again, up she goes, squealing in delight, before being caught in her daddy’s arms. She loves him, clearly, she is clinging to him, nibbling his face with a mouthful of spittle.
Home.
Everything has returned to normal, a month home and it is like I never left. My children are growing rapidly and are healthy. Abbi has full use of her arm and is smiling and happy every day. The sun is hot and intense, the August heat somewhat unbearable, but I take it up, bathing by the outdoor pool whilst Abbi swims with our children.
Antonio lies next to me, followed by the rest of the boys. Our women; Abbi, Georgia and Maria tend to the children. Maria’s twins lay in their pram, sleeping. They are still so tiny and precious and their parents love them to pieces. “This is the life, I’ve been waiting for this sun for far too long. My tan, it’s gone,” Antonio moans.
I laugh at him, because his skin is
always
tanned. He is half Italian and will never lose his olive complexion. “Don't laugh arsehole, this is a real crisis,” he continues and I laugh harder, almost choking on my beer.
“Yes, you’re so pale, Ant, you need more sun,” Scott grumbles sarcastically, rolling his eyes at our friend. “You are a real ass sometimes you know that right? Here I am, struggling to up my skin color and you’re tanned by nature.” Scott rolls onto his front, allowing the sun to splash at his perfectly toned back.
Antonio bursts into laughter, knowing how much it winds Scott up when he goes on about his skin colour. Scott is vain and so self-absorbed with his looks that if he isn’t looking perfect, everyone else is in for it. “Jeez, he’s a moron, Leigh.” Ant laughs, sipping at his beer whilst he stares at my baby sister. The love is unmistakable in his dark eyes and although once upon a time I was totally opposed to the idea of him anywhere near Georgia, now, I can see how he feels, I understand how he feels.
I can tell that the love he had professed to my wife, was nothing in comparison to his love for Georgia. He has told me, the love he thought he experienced whilst with Abigail and myself, was just merely a taste in the emotion. When he saw my sister again, even when Debbie was here, he felt the zap in his heart almost immediately.
I have explained everything to Abbi, she has seen the marks on my back from the torture I had been through whilst away from her. She understands the sacrifices I have made for us and she seems to love me more for it, and she also seems to thrive on the muscle I have gained from training with Marcus.
She has yet to meet the man who has changed me but is more than keen to. She wants to thank him for his hard work and strength. He has changed me, changed the kind of man I am, the things I think of. That isn’t to say I don’t occasionally imagine killing someone who deserves it, because I do, but I no longer need it, no longer think of it the second I wake up in the morning.
“DADDY! Come in the pool,” Joseph calls from in the water, he is floating on his back effortlessly. I love that I have a pool outside. Sure, Abbi loves the indoor one, being able to swim properly and work her body out, but the outdoor pool is beautiful in this blistering heat.
“Sun cream first, boy. It’s been a while,” I call and watch as he hops from the pool and runs to me. He jumps on the end of my sun lounger and I throw a towel around him to dry him off. He stands whilst he’s drying and goes to the pram with the sleeping babies.
“When is she going to wake up? I want a cuddle. Uncle Luke when is she going to be big enough to play in the water with me?” he asks, staring with awe filled eyes at his newest friend. Isabella is going to be guarded forever with Joe on her case, the poor girl won’t catch a break. Even with seven years between them, I can already tell as young adults, they will be really close and as adults probably closer.
“She’s very tired, little man. She’ll be awake soon for her milk. You can have a cuddle then. But as for playing in the water, that’s gonna be a little while, the doctor has to tell us it’s okay first,” Luke explains to my son, scuffing his hair up.
“Do you think she loves me as much as I love her, do you think I’m her friend?” he continues to badger. I know he can be a little tedious with his questions and obsessions over Isabella, but my friends take it so well, always having an answer and always appeasing the little guy.
“I think she loves you just as much, mister, you’re definitely her best friend. You might have to warn her brother though; I don't think he’d like his baby sister hounded by an older guy.” Joe looks confused, raising his eyebrow up a little.
“But, I thought they were the same age, born the same time.”
“JT was born eight minutes before his little sister, so he’s a little bit older,” Brad explains, looking into the pram with Joe.
“Does JT like me too; will he play cars with me when he’s bigger?” Joseph asks again.
“I'm sure he will, he already loves the bones off of you,” he explains.
“Buddy, come here. You’re all dry now. Time for your cream, and then we’ll get in the pool,” I call out, trying to take him away from his never-ending questions.
“Okay dad.” He leans down and gently places a kiss on Isabella’s head and tenderly strokes JT’s cheek. It is adorable, I can’t fault him for his love. He is just as affectionate with his own baby sister, although sometimes, her noise annoys him.
He plonks down on my towel, taking his towel off and exposing his back to me. My eyebrows rise as I see a mark on his skin, a blue bruise obvious by his kidney.
“Joe, what’s this?” I gently touch it and he jumps up a little.
“Nothing dad, it’s nothing,” he admits, trying to avoid me. He turns himself so I can't see his face. I grab his arm gently and he flinches back scared.
“Joseph Leigh Lock, turn around and face me,” I command him, but in a soft voice. I am worried, nervous as to why my son is scared of somebody touching him, why he has a bruise on his back the size of a tennis ball.
He turns around nervously, keeping his face to the floor.
“What happened son? Why do you have a bruise on your back?” I ask but he keeps his face to the floor. I stroke his cheek and gently lift his head to look at me. Tiny tears fill his eyes and his little lip quivers.
“Joe, come here sweetie,” Abbi calls, having heard my conversation. “Let’s go and get some ice cream for everyone. Ask Daddy if he wants to help,” She asks of him and I nod my head, needing to find out why my son has this mark and this fright inside of him. He is never scared, not of anyone, but when he flinched away from me, I felt as though my heart had been ripped out of my chest.
Abbi gives Melissa to Georgia to look after whilst I stand and walk inside with my son, my wife following shortly behind. “I want mint choc chip, please,” Joe asks as we enter our kitchen.
“Sit down for a minute, buddy,” I ask him, sitting myself down too.
“Where’s mummy?” Joe asks me, his childlike voice so worried.
“I'm here, baby. Mummy’s here,” she tells him, coming up and surrounding him in a big cuddle. He leans back into her, closing his eyes. I can tell he feels safe around her, loved by her warm embrace.
“Now, Joe, can you tell mummy what happened to you? Why do you have a bruise baby?” she asks him in her soft nurturing voice.
He shakes his head sadly, not looking up. “Do you want daddy to leave so you can tell me?” I give my wife evil eyes, not wanting to be excluded from this, but her own look gives me the confidence that she will tell me. He is scared for some reason and I can’t increase his fear by intimidating him. Something is clearly wrong and we need to get to the bottom of it before something else happens.
Joe nods his answer to Abigail, breaking my heart a little in the process. We have been so close since he returned to me, but to have him nervous and anxious around me is horrible. “Okay, daddy’s going to get some ice cream and take it outside for everyone.” Abbi leans in and kisses my cheek gently, whispering in my ear. “I will get to the bottom of it, baby. Trust me.” I feel relaxed a little after her words but I still feel angry about what has clearly happened.
I grab a large tub of plain old vanilla ice cream and some cones, retreating from the kitchen. I walk through the house, wanting to punch a wall, but rein in my temper. Outside, the sun is baking. “Ice cream anyone,” I shout, sitting in the shade. I start to scoop the frozen deliciousness onto cones and hand them out. Everyone returns to their places, apart from Georgia, Melissa perched on her side.
“Leighton.” I ignore her when she talks, knowing what she wants to ask but not being ready to talk about it. “Leighton, talk to me,” Georgia asks and I look to her, putting the spoon down in the tub to get covered in the melting cream.
“I can't believe it. Somebody hurt my son, Georgia. He’s scared of me, he won't let me touch him now.” I almost cry, tears filling my eyes. My heart is hurting so bad.
“Leave Abbi to talk to him, he has always felt comfortable around her.” My sister encourages me, but it doesn’t help.
“But he’s my son, George, he needs me, I need to help him. I can't sit back and let other people sort out his problems.” I feel useless and helpless. I want to march back inside and demand that he tell me what happened so I can help him, but all he does is look to the floor and flinch at my touch.
“You’re stubborn you know that? It doesn’t matter who helps him, as long as someone does. By you noticing the mark you have helped him, can you understand that, babe?” she asks me, changing Mel over onto her other side.
“Here, give her to me,” I ask of her, taking my baby girl from her.
She is getting so big, her birthday coming closer and closer. She is already eight months old, eating solids and crawling around all over the place. She is trying her hardest to pull herself up on things, walking around the edge of the room holding onto the sofa and the cabinets. It is beautiful to see her developing so well and rapidly.
I sit here on the sofa, after having taken Joe somewhere more comfortable. I hadn’t noticed the bruise before, when I had put his cream on and that makes me feel awful as a parent. How had I not noticed the big blue coloured mark on his back? It isn’t exactly small, at least the size of cricket ball.
“Baby, you wanna tell mummy what happened?” I ask gently, stroking his soft cheek. He pushes his face further into my hand, comforted by it.
He doesn’t look to me or open his mouth to talk, he simply stays there as small drops fall from his eyes, tiny tears that hide so much pain. His body shakes, trembling with the pain he is holding inside. What happened to him? It plagues my mind and makes me crazy with the need to help him. He is my son, my little boy. He is hurting and he is scared.
“Please, Joe, you’re scaring mummy. Tell me what happened so I can help you.” I beg and plead with him, needing to settle this as soon as possible.
“Promise you won't tell dad, he’ll be sad.” He looks up at me with his big soulful eyes and I nod. I am going to have to keep that promise even if it kills me. There is no way I can compromise mine and Joe’s relationship. Leighton will have to just swallow his fatherly pride and trust me.