Fighting to Stay (16 page)

Ten minutes later, I make it to the park.  Roam is pushing Lola on the swing.  The sound of her giggling fills the air. 

“Did you have fun on the motorcycle?” I ask Lola.

“Yes, it was so much.  I
love
riding on motorcycles!”  She gushes.

“Well, I’m glad y’all had a good time.”

I watch as Lola runs off to go down the slide.  Roam surprises me by sliding his arm around my shoulder and kissing my head.  “Did good with her, sugar,” he says, his voice gruff.  He kisses my temple and walks away.

I swipe away a tear that escapes, then I shove a sucker in my mouth and walk over to the slide.

~*~

The doorbell chimes and I hear Lola shout, “Daddy!”

It’s been six weeks since Roam came back into our lives, and every week she’s just as excited as the last to see her daddy.

Today, we’
re taking Lola to the zoo.  She grabs her backpack off the couch and races out to her father’s truck.  Swinging my handbag over my shoulder, I do a quick mental recap to make sure I have everything.  I check my pocket for my phone and then lock the door behind me.

Thirty-five m
inutes later, we arrive at the zoo.  After finding a parking spot, we make our way in to look at the animals.  I take out my camera and snap way too many photos of Lola with every animal imaginable.  I even manage to take few of Roam and Lola acting like gorillas outside the primate section. 

“Momma, this is best day,
ever
.”

“Glad you having fun, baby,” I stroke her cheek with my thumb. 

“Y’all hungry?” Roam asks.

“I am!”  Lola answers.

My rumbling belly answers for me.  Lola and Roam both chuckle. We find an empty table at the zoo café and order some food.

After we’ve eaten, Lola runs off to feed the birds her sandwich leftovers, while Roam and I watch her
from our seats.

All too soon, it’s time to go home.  Lola falls asleep on the drive back, so when we arrive home, Roam carries her into bed and I help him tuck her in.

“Best day, ever,” she mumbles in her sleep.

I grin at Roam, and he grins at me.  His dimples appear and my heart stutters.  My stomach clenches as I take in his beauty.

God, it’s been so long since I’ve felt anyone’s touch but my own.  My breathing gets heavier as memories of me and Roam making love fill my mind.

“We gotta talk now, sugar,” Roam startles me by announcing.

“Uh, okay.  Talk, okay,” I stumble over my words as I try to clear my brain.

We walk into the living room and I take a seat on the couch.  Roam sits on the coffee table.

“I get it,” he surprises me by saying.

My brows pull together.  “You get it?”  I ask, confused.

“I get it,” he repeats.  “Why you did what you did – I get it,” he explains.

“You do?” I ask hopefully.  My heart begins to gallop in my chest and a lump forms in my throat.

“Yeah, sugar, I do.”

A sob escapes my lips. 

“But you should have given me a chance to explain.”

“I know that now.”

“I’ve missed four fuckin’ years with my daughter, and four years with the woman I wanted to spend my life with.”

I hang my head in shame.

“Christa was never pregnant, Lacey.”

My head springs up.  “What?” I ask in disbelief.  I feel faint.  “Yes, she was.  I saw her, Roam.  She was pregnant,
heavily
pregnant.”

“No, sugar, she wasn’t.  It was fake.  It was all a bunch of lies to get you to leave so she could move in on me.”

“Oh my god,” I whisper.

“You woulda let me explain, you woulda known that about five minutes after she spewed her bullshit.”

“Why?  Why would someone want to tear apart a family?”  My mind whirls.  “What the fuck is wrong with her?” I shout.  “She ruined my fucking life.”  I begin to sob uncontrollably.  All of the anger, hurt, lies and regret purges from my body, as I sit hunched over with my head between my knees.

Two, strong arms lift me up and then I’m sitting in the comfort of Roam’s lap.  My senses are filled with his scent and a feeling of contentment immediately washes over me.

“Don’t cry, sugar.  Ain’t nothin’ can be done now to change the past,” he hushes me.

I sniffle away the
last of my tears, wiping my snotty nose on my sleeve in the most unladylike manner imaginable.  Roam’s hands go under my arms and he lifts me off him, setting me back down on the couch.  Another sob escapes my throat at the loss of his warmth.

I sigh heavily and then look into his tired, hurt,
sad
blue eyes.  I imagine mine mirror his.

“So, what happens now?” I ask, cautiously.

He lets out a breath.  “Got a lot of shit to work through, sugar.  No more runnin’, Lacey.  ‘Bout time you started fighting to stay.”

“I know,” I nod.  “I know that, that’s why I’ve planted roots here.”

“No, Lacey.  You gotta start fighting to stay,
with me.
”

“You want to be with me?”  Fresh tears fill my eyes.

“Ain’t ever wanted to be with anyone else, sugar.”  I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard.  His voice is hoarse as he tries to overcome the overwhelming emotions that we’re both struggling with.

“And you never cheated on me?”

“Fuck no!”

“Oh God, Roam, I’m so sorry,” I cry.  My chest constricts and the shield I had been building around my heart for the last four years, disintegrates on the spot.

“Come on, sugar.  Don’t cry.  It’s over, now.  We can only look forward.”

“I love you, Roam,” I sob.  “I never stopped.  Not ever.  I love you so much.”

He looks deep into my eyes and through the hurt, I see a little twinkle in his blue depths.  “Love you, sugar.  Now it’s time for make-up sex.  Hope you’re ready, darlin’, ‘cause I got plans to turn your ass a different color.”

I feel my cheeks heat. 

“You had other men, Lacey?”  Roam grips my chin gently between his thumb and index finger, and tilts my head so I’m looking into his eyes.

“Only you,” I whisper.

“Good.”  His lips crash into mine.  My arms fold around his neck and I hold him to me, tightly.  His hands move down to cup my ass and then he lifts me up.  My legs automatically wrap around his waist, and he begins to walk.

He lays me back on the bed and proceeds to methodically remove my clothing
.  By the time he gets me naked, I’m panting and aching all over for his touch.  He grasps my right ankle in his hands runs his tongue over the arch in my foot and I squirm at the sensation.  His beard tickles me as he kisses up my leg until he reaches my knees.  He spreads my legs as far apart as they will go, leaving me fully exposed to him.  Then, he continues kissing until he reaches the top of my thigh.  Just when I think his mouth will find my soaking center, he stands, and grasps my left ankle.  He chuckles at my moan in frustration, then he licks the arch of my foot, repeating the same torturously sweet process as before.

Finally, he reaches the apex of my thighs.  My body shudders when he runs his finger through the wetness that’s accumulated there. 

“So wet for me, Lacey.”

“Yes,” I keen.

His tongue snakes out and licks me from top to bottom.  I cry out and arch my hips skywards.  “Missed the taste of you, sugar.”

Just when I think he’s going to devour me, he kneels on the bed and removes his clothes.  I lick my lips at the naked sight of him.  My god he’s gorgeous.  He lays down beside me.  “Sit on my face, sugar,”
Roam instructs, repeating the words he’d said to me the first night we met.

I roll over onto my hands and knees.  His long, thick, hard cock begs to be licked and sucked, but instead, I run my tongue along the top of his pubic bone, from hip to hip.  Then, I trace along his abs, weaving in and around the sculpted muscles of his stomach with my tongue until I reach his small, hard nipple.  I take one in between my teeth and nip at it gently, before soothing the sting away with licks and kisses.  I do the same to the other nipple, then I swing my leg over his head and position myself over him.
  His hands immediately grasp my hips and pull me down onto his waiting mouth.  A whimper escapes my throat as he makes contact with my core.  My palm wraps around the base of his hot flesh and I softly tease the head of his cock with my tongue.  I wet the shaft and then open my mouth and suck him deep inside.  His hips thrust upwards and my gag reflex kicks in as he hits the back of my throat.  I ignore it, though and keep pleasuring him as he is pleasuring me.  One of my hands jerks the base as my mouth works the top, and my other hand massages his heavy sac. 

Roam sucks my clit into his mouth and thrusts two fingers inside me.  Without warning, my orgasm radiates through my body and I grind myself down on him. 

He flips me over, startling me, and settles himself between my legs.

“Gonna fuck you slow, sugar.”  He sinks inside of me.  Slowly.  So slowly it’s almost agonizing. 

“Roam,” I moan.

He withdraws almost fully, and then enters me again.  Again and again.  So slowly.  His eyes never leave mine as he brings us both to the
massive release that awaits us.

My eyes roll back in my head as the sensations consume me.

“Eyes on me, Lacey,” he commands.

I try, I really do, but I can’t.  My eyes close, and my body tenses around him as I shatter beneath him, screaming his name.  “Roam!”

Two, quick, hard thrusts later, he rests his forehead on mine and looks deep into my soul as he jerks inside of me, filling me with his warmth.

His body collapses on mine and we pant, trying to regain our breath. 

After I have cleaned myself up, I slide into bed beside Roam and he pulls me against him, tucking me into his side.

“You didn’t spank me,” I say, feigning innocence.

“There’s always next time,” he winks.

I kiss his chest and sigh in contentment.  “Lacey?”  The seriousness in Roam’s tone has my heart skipping a beat.

“Yes?”

“The letters, the presents…You wanna explain that?”

“I didn’t want her to think that you didn’t want her.  I took her to the park one day and there was a dad there with his kids.  She asked me where her daddy was and the first thing that popped into mind was that you were away working.  When she came home she wanted to write you.  That’s how the letters came about.  The presents, much the same. I wanted her to know that you loved her.  I knew deep down that she’d meet you one day and I wanted to her to have great memories of you.  I didn’t want you to be a stranger to her.”

“Appreciate the effort, sugar.”

I close my eyes and rest my cheek against his chest.  The sound of his steady beating heart lulls me and for the first time in four years, I fall asleep feeling full.

Much to Lola’s delight, we decided to move back to Salt Rock.  She was most excited about getting to finally meet the brother she’d only ever read about in her bedtime story.  It took us a week to pack up our house and load it into a
moving truck, then we were on our way.

I’m not going to say it was easy.  It wasn’t.  It was hard.  Lola took to the situation with ease.  She was just happy to have her daddy living in the same house as her and her momma.  But me, the guilt ate at me.
  It devoured my insides.  Guilt for what I had taken away from daughter, from Roam and from myself.  Many nights I cried myself to sleep.  No amount of forgiveness from Roam could make me forgive myself. On one hand, at times, the guilt consumed me.  I couldn’t get past how much I had fucked up our lives.  But on the other hand, I was so very thankful to have a second shot at making things right.  I wanted this to work so badly that I was prepared to do almost anything to make that happen. 

The Christa situation still bothered me as well.  Roam had explained everything to me – the fact that not only did she fake a pregnancy to sabotage our family, but she was also the person responsible for the attacks on me all those years ago.
  I had never done anything to her.  I’d only ever had one encounter with her, and it was by way of drunken threesome.

It was also hard to face everyone from the club.  I know Roam took them all aside and
explained the situation, but it didn’t mean I still wasn’t embarrassed.  They had classed me as family, and I had just left without a trace.  As families do, though, they welcomed me back with open arms.  It’s fair to say the girls were cautious at first, but soon enough we were on our way to rediscovering our friendships.

After I had found out Jenn and Switch’s relationship was on the rocks, I confronted Roam about how he managed to find me and Lola.  He told me the story and that’s when I knew that, despite Jenn’s denial, hers and Switch’s problems were actually my fault.  I knew I had to fix it, so one night I took him aside and explained everything as best I could.  I told him the truth – that while I was gone, Jenn never knew my location until a few days before she came to visit me.

“Switch, mine and Jenn’s friendship is similar to the relationship you share with your brothers.  You wouldn’t betray their trust would you?  Well, she wouldn’t betray mine.  I understand that it’s caused problems in your relationship, and for that I’m truly sorry.  But, if you’re going to be mad at someone, that someone should be me.  Jenn did nothing wrong.”

I left him sitting there and I walked away.  A few hours later when I went to the bathroom, I walked in on them making up.  I giggled, then excused myself, glad that I had set one stone right.

~*~

Jasper came over on our second night back.  He’d grown so much in the time I’d been gone, but he was still the image of his father – just with blonde hair.  He’d had his ninth birthday the week before, so Lola and I
went shopping and brought him some gifts.  We made him a special cake and a homemade card as well.  Lola was nervous right before he was due to arrive.  She couldn’t sit still and she kept babbling.  “Momma, do you think he’ll like what we chose him?  Momma, do you think he’ll like the cake?  I hope he likes the cake.  What if he doesn’t like me, momma?”

“Lola, I promise, he’s going to love you just as much now as the day your daddy and I brought you home from hospital.  I bet he’s just as nervous as you are.”

As I predicted, he loved his gifts, he loved his cake, he loved his card and he loved his sister.  He was also pretty excited to see me again, as I was him.  Lola and Jasper spent hours together playing with his new toys, and then we sang him happy birthday and ate his cake. 

After, while I
tidy up, Roam takes the kids into the living room to watch a movie with them.  The sounds of their laughter filtering through into the kitchen, is like music to my ears.

~*~

Three months later

I drop Lola off to
her new daycare and head downtown to buy some groceries. 

I find a park, shut off the engine and walk in.  Grabbing a cart on the way past, I begin placing items inside.

The cart is full of food and I’m in the last aisle of the store, when I spot Christa browsing the shelves.  I shove my cart forward and stomp up to where she is standing.

Surprise clouds her face when she turns and spots me standing there glaring at her.  My arms are folded across my chest and my eyes are narrowed.  I clench my teeth and my fists, and release my breath through my nose.

Fucking bitch-whore-mole,
I seethe internally.

“Lacey,” she sneers, after finally schooling her features.
  “What a surprise.”

“Christa, God bless your heart, you’re still alive.”  A fake smile turns my lips up and I say the words in my most saccharine sweet tone.

“So, you’re back then?”  Her tone is sarcastic and grates on my nerves.

“Not your business, Christa.”  My lack of sharing pisses her off.

“I got you to leave once, bitch.  Don’t think I can’t or won’t do it again.”

“What are you going to do, Christa?  Trash another bar?  Graffiti my name around town?  Or try to sabotage my relationship,
again
?”

“I can do all of that and more,” she grins, evilly.  “I’ve got plenty of tricks up my sleeve.”

“You’re deluded,” I tell her, honestly.

“No, bitch, you are.”

My façade leaves me and emotions take over.

“
Christa, you stole from Mitch!  Why would you do such a thing?”  I ask, bewildered.

“Because,” she spits, “
You
were supposed to get scared and run away.  Then I could sweep in and rescue Roam from his heartbreak.  I would mend him, put all the pieces of his broken heart back together and he’d fall in love with me.  We’d live happily ever after, and you’d be
Lacey Who?
  But you had to
stay
, and ruin my fucking plans, which meant I had to go to greater lengths to get you out of my town.”

“You’re fucking crazy,” I tell her.  My eyes are wide from shock, I’m in total disbelief that one person would set out to sabotage another’s family just because of their own selfishness, and I’m pissed.  Pissed at her for creating this mess, and pissed at myself that I believed her lies and ran, just like she wanted, which meant my daughter missed years with a dad who loves her and who would have treated her like a princess.

“I’m not crazy, you stupid bitch,” she shouts.  “I’m fucking
creative
!  I bet you would never think to find someone who specializes in making fake baby bumps so you could land the man of your dreams.”

“I didn’t
need
to be creative to get the man of my dreams, Christa.  I just needed to be
me.
  That was enough.”

She stand
s there with her mouth gaping, and I turn and walk away.  I’ve said what I needed to say, and now it’s time to pay for my groceries and get the hell away from that poison.

Roam pulls into the drive on his bike at the same time that I do.

“What’s wrong, sugar?”  He asks, immediately taking in my frazzled, pissed off demeanor.

“I ran into Christa at the grocery store.  We traded blows.”

His eyebrows nearly reach his hairline.

“
Verbal
blows,” I smile, my anger dissipating.

“She’s back from hiding,” he muses.

“Seems like it.”

He thinks for a moment, and then says, “I gotta head back out for a bit.  I’ll pick Lola up on my home.”

“Roam?”

“Sugar?”

“Don’t do anything stupid.  Please.”

He shakes his head and smirks.  Then he starts his bike and rides out.

I unload the groceries and take them inside to begin packing them away.  When that’s done, I begin preparing the hamburger steaks with onion gravy and mashed potatoes for supper.  I busy myself, trying to keep my mind from wandering into dangerous territory about what Roam’s doing.

The sound of the front door opening and closing brings me back from my daydreaming.  I wash my hands and go out to meet Lola.  She comes bounding in and hands me her backpack. 

“Hey, baby,” I pull her in for a hug and kiss the top of her head.  “How was daycare?”

“It was so much fun.  I made a new friend, her name is Laura.”

“That’s great, sweetie.”

“Yeah, and then daddy picked me up and he took me on his bike.  He drove really fast and now my hair is messy but it was so much
fun!
”

“It sounds like it.  Why don’t you go on and wash up.  Supper will be ready soon.”

“She loves the bike almost as much as her momma,” Roam says, looking at Lola’s back as she disappears down the hall.

I laugh.  “I bet she does.  How are your eardrums?  I imagine she screamed loud enough to burst them.”

He rubs his ears.  “I’m sure my hearing will return, soon enough.”

“Did you find Christa?”

“Didn’t need to,” he shakes his head.

“Why?”

“Police got her first.  Someone overheard you two havin’ words in the store, rang the cops.  They got her as she was leaving.”

“Seriously?” I whisper

“Yep.”

“Well, good riddance.”

Roam chuckles and pulls me into his arms.  “That’s my girl.”

“Well, your girl thinks you smell like motor oil and other manly things that stink, so you best go get washed up before dinner.”  I slap him on his gorgeous ass.  He walks away, shaking his hips.  I burst into laughter at the sight, and then stop to listen as his own laughter rings out down the hall.

~*~

Later that night, as we tuck Lola in, we both si
t down on the edge of her bed and read her her bedtime story.  But this time it’s the story we have written
together.

I listen as Roam begins…

“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess.  She moved to a small town one day, and there she met a handsome prince. The prince was tall with dark hair, dark skin and a short beard.  He rode a big motorcycle and wore a leather jacket.  The princess loved the prince’s blue eyes; they twinkled when he was happy.  The princess fell in love with the handsome prince.  She loved him so much that she had a baby.  The most beautiful baby the world has ever seen.

The princess looked down at her baby and named her Lola.  She looked just like her daddy, with her dark hair and bright blue eyes.  The prince and the princess were so happy with their new baby.  They couldn’t wait to take her home so she could meet her older brother, Jasper.

The prince and the princess fell even more in love.  They were so in love, they decided to get married and because they made such beautiful babies, the decided to have lots of them.

And they all lived happily, ever after.

The End.”