Fighting to Stay (5 page)

My eyes flutter open, and then slam shut again.  I groan.  I don’t want to get out of bed.  I look over at my alarm clock and groan again.  It’s two in the afternoon and I don’t feel like I’ve slept at all. 

Last night’s events come rushing back and I rub my temples in an effort to remove them from my mind.  It doesn’t work.  It never works.

“You awake, Lace?”  I hear Jenn tapping on the door as she asks.

“No,” I grumble.

“You look like shit,” she says, giving me a once over.  “Are you working today?”

“Thanks,” I say sarcastically.  “And, no.  I’m not working.”

“Good.  Want to go for a drive with me?  I’m going to visit Gran.”

“Sure would.  When are you leaving?”

“’Bout an hour, so get your ass up.  Gran won’t like
it if you show up looking like shit.”  She flounces out of the room and I roll over.  Grabbing a sucker off my side table, I pop it in mouth and then set about making myself not look like shit.

~*~

“Here y’all are.  I was wonderin’ when you two girls would show up.”  Jenn’s Gran hugs us before placing a kiss on top of our heads and asking, “Can I get y’all some sweet tea?”

“Please, Gran.” Jenn nods.

“That’d be lovely, thank you ma’am.”

Jenn’s Gran, Jenn
a (Jenn was named after her) is her father’s mother.  She is the nicest little old lady I’ve ever met.  With her slightly graying hair and rounded figure, she’s bubbly and full of good old fashioned Southern hospitality.

“How y’all been?  Jenn, you still working at that nightclub place?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And what about you, Lacey Monroe?  What’s new with you
, child?”

“Uh, not a whole lot, ma’am.” 
I fucked a guy whose name I don’t know…twice.
“I’ve been waitressing at a bar in Salt Rock.”

“
That’s good to hear.  What about boys?  I bet y’all have got ‘em chasin’ you around, everywhere you go.”

I give Jenn a look.  She still hasn’t told her parents about Switch, but I’m sure she would have told Gran.  Gran is awesome and would never judge someone without reason.

“Things are going well with Switch…”  Jenn trails off.

“It’s about time you bought him out here for a visit, don’t you think?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Jenn grins huge.

We sit around sipping sweet tea, chatting and laughing until into the early evening.  Then, after another round of hugs and kisses, and a stern reminder that Jenn had better bring Switch on her next visit, we bid farewell to Gran.

The forty five minute drive back to Salt Rock is uneventful and goes by quickly.  Before I know it, we’ve pulled into the garage and Jenn is out of the car and rushing inside, mumbling something about being starving and ordering pizza.  I follow in behind her and raise my eyebrows when I see she’s already on the phone.

“Yes, one large pepperoni and a large sausage, olive and mushroom.  A garlic bread as well, please, and a bottle of Coke.”

“Hungry much?” I mutter, just loud enough for her to hear.

She gives me the finger and turns her attention back to the phone.

I walk in to my bedroom and change into a pair of loose fitting cotton shorts and a pale purple tank top.  When I come back out, Jenn is sitting on the couch.  She’s changed into her pajamas and the pizza is on the coffee table in front of her. 

She stuffs a slice into her mouth and then orders, “Sit.”  I laugh, because with her mouthful, it sounds more like, shit.

“Shut up,” she pouts.  “Tell me what’s on your mind.  You’ve been down all day.”

I take a slice of pepperoni and nibble on the corner.  “Nothing,” I reply, a little too defensively.

“Don’t bullshit me, Lacey.”

“I fucked the biker again, last night.  Up against the wall in the
bathroom at my work, like a dirty whore – and funnily enough, that’s exactly what I feel like.  After we’d finished he told me it should never have happened.  And to top it off, I
still
don’t know his name.”

“First
, you’re not a whore, Lacey.  Don’t ever let me hear you saying that again.  Secondly, he clearly can’t resist a Southern Belle such as yourself,” she winks.  “Now you got all that off your chest, eat your pizza and stop worryin’ ‘bout silly boys.”

“Easier said than done,” I huff.  “I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much.”

I vow to myself that I will stop beating myself up over something that I can’t change.  It’s in the past and that’s where the whole fucked up situation will stay.

~*~

The next morning, I wake up feeling a darn site better than I did yesterday.  I feel so good, in fact, that I roll out my yoga mat and spend the next hour in front of the TV twisting myself into stupid positions the DVD presenter tell me to, for reasons I’m not entirely sure of.

Still feeling good, I make biscuits and gravy with crispy bacon for breakfast
for Jenn and me.

“Mmm, smells so good,” Jenn walks in, sniffing the air.

“Help yourself.  I’ve already finished.”  I watch as she serves herself up a plate and then drops down at the table.

“This is good,” she mumbles around a mouthful of food.

I smile.  “You’re so full of manners, Jenn.  Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to eat with your mouth full?”

“That’s not
what Switch says.  He likes the vibrat-,”

“Argh! Oh my god! You did
not
just go there.”  I wave my arms and shout, cutting her off.

She grins like a lunatic and continues eating.

“I’m off to work,” I smile and wave, all the while shaking my head.  She’s one of a kind.

~*~

I spend the next six hours taking orders, making change and wiping and clearing tables.  It’s only four in the afternoon and I have no idea what I’m going to do for the afternoon.  I sit in my car and start it up, to head back to Jenn’s when my phone lights up with her name.  “Hey,” I greet.

“Hey, you off?”

“Yep, just finished.”

“Thank god.  I’m bored.  Want to come hang out?”

“Sure, where are you?”

“At the clubhouse.  Switch was supposed to be here an hour ago but something came up and he’s running late.  Said he’d be here
as soon as he could.”

“Okay.  I’ll swing by
.”

“Thank you!”

It only takes about fifteen minutes to drive across town and out to the clubhouse.  A young guy is standing by the gate and he opens it up to me when I stop in front.

I give him a little wave and drive throu
gh.  I park next to Jenn’s car and she comes bounding out to meet me.

“I’m so glad you could come. I was dying of boredom in there,” she sighs.  “Here.”  Jenn hands me a bottle of beer and gestures towards the picnic table.

“So, where is everyone?”  It all looks so quiet, compared to the last time I was here, it’s almost eerie. 

“Club business,” is Jenn’s only reply.

I nod and put the bottle to my lips.  As I tip my head back to drain the rest of my beer, I catch sight of the clubhouse door opening.  I hear a girl giggling, so I lower my drink and look over towards the noise.  Then,
he
walks through the door with
her
. 
Her
being Christa.  She wraps her hands around his neck and kisses him deep.  Then he smacks her ass and she walks off, exaggerating the sway in her hips.

“That’s
him
,” I hiss at Jenn.

“Who? What?”  She blinks, stunned by my sudden outburst.

“
Him
.  The guy I slept with.  And that’s her – you know…from that night,” I try to explain.

“Ohhh,” Jenn looks across the lot to where Christa is getting in her vehicle.  Then she looks back to where he is standing. “Ohhh,” she repeats.  Her eyes are wide and she turns to look at me.  From the corner of my eye, I spot him as he sees us, and then he begins walking toward us.

“Shit. 
Fuck
,” I say under my breath.  “What’s his name?”  I attempt to ask, but I can’t talk loud enough for Jenn to hear because all of a sudden he’s standing in front of me.

“Jenn,” he rumbles.  “Sugar,” he smiles at me. 
Smiles at me
.  Can you believe that shit?

“Hey Roam, how you doin’?”  Jenn says.

Roam.

His name is Roam?

Roam
.

Christ, even his name is sexy and mysterious. 
Roam
.

“Doin’ alright, darlin’.”  He looks to me again.  “A word?”  He asks.

Before I can tell him to go to hell, his cell rings.  He looks at the screen and then at me.  “Sorry, sugar.  Gotta take this,” he says apologetically.

Pfft.  Don’t be sorry.
  I don’t want to talk to him anyways.

He puts the phone to his ear and barks, “Roam,” as he’s walking away.

“You slept with Roam…
Twice?
  Damn that man in
fine!
”

“He’s fine, but he’s an ass,” I tell her.

“Roam is…” She pauses for a minute before continuing.  “Lace, I’ve never known Roam to be in a relationship.  Don’t get attached, okay?”

My jaw drops.  “Jenn, did you not here me when I said he was an ass?  Did you not hear me when I told you that he told me our little bathroom romp was a mistake?  You don’t have to worry about me getting attached to
Roam
, trust me!”

“I would trust you, Lace, but I know you.  I know he’s under your skin.  Whether you want to admit it, or not, he’s gotten to you.
”

“That’s not true,” I defend myself.

“Babe, it is true.  Why do you think you all of a sudden you can’t stand him?”  She doesn’t give me a chance to answer before she answers for me.  “Because he hurt your feelings in that bathroom.  If you weren’t getting attached, there’d be no feelings involved to hurt.”

Damn I hate
it when she makes sense.

“There’s no point in me liking him, Jenn.  Up until five seconds ago, I didn’t even know his name, and he made it clear that he had made a mistake.  Not to mention the fact that he’s obviously moved on.”

“Christa’s a club whore, Lace.  Most of the guys have had a turn with her,” Jenn tells me gently.

“Well he didn’t much look like he regretted fucking her, like he did me,” I snap.

She raises her eyebrows at me.  “Sorry,” I mumble.

“It’s cool.  Just be careful.  I don’t want to see you get hurt, and I don’t want you to leave again.  I like having you here.”

I wrap my arms around her and we sit like that for a while until Jenn pulls away and sits upright, looking intently towards the gate.  That’s when I hear the rumble of the Harley pipes.

Thirty seconds later the gate swings open and five bikes ride in.  Jenn jumps up and races over to one of them, flinging her arms around Switch.  I sit and watch as a pang of jealousy shoots though my body. 

I turn away and my eyes flit past the gate.  That’s when I see the shiny black SUV crawling down the road.  I narrow my eyes and watch as they come to a stop.  I can’t see inside the vehicle because the windows are so dark.  For a few seconds, nothing happens.  Then the windows roll down and the sounds of automatic weapons being discharged fills the air.  I hear the tires screech as I jump off the picnic table and run for cover, screaming.  Bits of dirt and grass kick up from the ground and my ears are filled with the sound of bullets flying.  I run down towards the open land behind the clubhouse and fling myself down on the ground behind a pile of scrap metal.  In the near distance, I hear something explode and the air is filled with a thick cloud of smoke.  Bits of debris rain down all around me and I curl myself into a ball.  I’m shaking so hard, I can barely link my fingers together around my knees to hold myself together.  I’ve never been so scared in all my life.  Not even when my dad was at his worst, was I ever this petrified.  All my instincts urge me to get up and run away as fast as I fucking can, but I know that would be suicide – I can still hear bullets flying.

Oh my god.  I hope Jenn is okay
. 
I don’t know where she is.  I didn’t see her when I ran for cover.  I hope she’s safe.

Suddenly, the gunfire stops and everything is eerily quiet for a split second.  Then, people start yelling.  Someone is barking orders, though I can’t understand what they’re saying.  Another is shouti
ng out for someone to call the doctor.  I hear Jenn’s voice.  “Lacey. 
Lacey
. 
Lacey
.”  With each ‘Lacey’ her voice gets more panicked and shrill. 

Very slowly, and even more cautiously, I stand from my hidey place.  “I’m here,” I croak.  “Jenn, over here.” I say, my voice louder and stronger.