Feels Like Family (10 page)

“Don’t be,” Dana Sue responded. “Business is booming at the spa. We can afford to let you use the gym at no cost, and Elliott said he’s happy to help you get started.”

Karen had gotten a glimpse of the sexy personal trainer a time or two. Looking at him up close was definitely no hardship.

Karen sat on the edge of the sofa and considered all the good things that had happened since she’d finally started to face the mess her life was in. She was actually beginning to believe she could take charge of her life again. And with all that Dana Sue and Helen were doing to support her, she owed it to them to make sure she didn’t waste this opportunity.

Still, there was this huge empty place inside where her kids should be. She wanted them back home. No one had set an exact timetable for when her babies
would
be coming back, but she hoped it would be sooner, rather than later. Talking to them on the phone or even spending an hour with them every few days wasn’t nearly enough.

Spotting Mack’s favorite stuffed bear on the other end of the sofa, she reached for it and held it tightly. The bear’s coat was matted, the ribbon around its neck bedraggled and stained with baby food, but it smelled of baby powder and
shampoo and Mack. She was a little surprised that Mack was falling asleep without it, but Helen hadn’t mentioned any problems with getting Mack to bed. Even so, Karen resolved to drop it off first thing in the morning, maybe catch a glimpse of her kids before she headed to her first workout session at the gym. It was almost impossible to imagine that just a few days ago, her children had been too much for her to cope with.

The light tap on her door startled her. Relieved at the prospect of a visitor, she dropped the bear and rushed to open it. Frances stood on her doorstep, a container of soup in one hand, her expression filled with compassion.

“I heard you come in a few minutes ago. I thought you might be feeling a little lost,” she said. “Want some company?”

“Oh, yes, please,” Karen said fervently, drawing her into the apartment. “It’s way too quiet around here.”

Frances patted her arm. “I can understand that. I remember how completely bereft I felt when my last child went off to college. The empty-nest syndrome is no myth. I had a full life teaching and my husband was still alive, but I almost went stir-crazy without a bunch of teenagers underfoot demanding food every hour of the day and night. My children left one by one after eighteen years of me watching over and worrying about them. Yours are still little more than babies and they left practically overnight. There’s no way you could be prepared for something like that.”

“I want them back now,” Karen admitted, taking the soup from Frances and putting it in the kitchen. “I had to turn on the TV and the radio just so there was some commotion in here when I got home from work.”

Frances nudged her toward a seat at the table. “You sit
and let me warm up that soup. I imagine you haven’t eaten, have you?”

“I pick at food all day long at the restaurant,” Karen said, then realized she was hungry. “But the soup sounds good.”

Frances found a pan and poured the thick split-pea soup into it, then turned the gas element on low. “How about a sandwich to go with it? If you don’t have anything, I can run across the hall. I have some honey-baked ham that’s delicious.”

When Karen started to protest that she was going to too much trouble, Frances waved her off. “Nonsense. I’ll be right back. Keep an eye on the soup. Don’t let it boil.”

Karen nodded, hiding her amusement that Frances thought she needed cooking instructions. What she did need, though, was this bit of mothering, something that had been sadly lacking in her life.

When Frances bustled back into the kitchen, she’d already piled the ham high on thick multigrain bread from a bakery in town. “I wasn’t sure if you’d prefer mustard or mayo, so I didn’t add either,” she told Karen.

“I like mayo. I’ll get it,” Karen said.

“No, you sit and relax. You’re on your feet all day long, while I do nothing but sit around.”

Karen laughed. “Frances, I have never seen you stay still for more than a few minutes at a time. You’re on the go every day of the week.”

Frances shrugged. “Only way I know to keep mind and body active,” she conceded. “But there are plenty of hours when I’m across the hall with my feet propped up. Now, tell me about your day.”

Karen told her about the plan for financial counseling and for the spa membership.

“That’s wonderful,” Frances said enthusiastically. “Exercise will do you a world of good. I know my aerobics class at the senior center always makes me feel better—not that they have us doing too much for fear we’ll drop dead.”

She set a bowl of soup in front of Karen, then pulled up a chair for herself. “You know,” she began, her tone conspiratorial, “I hear there’s a personal trainer at that spa who looks like a Greek god. I’m tempted to get a trial membership just to check him out myself.”

“Frances!” Karen said, laughing. “I’m shocked.”

“Any woman who tells you she doesn’t like looking is lying,” Frances said. “Sneak a camera in there and take pictures for me. I can live vicariously.”

“I most certainly will not,” Karen said. “But I will check in to taking you along as a guest one day, if you think your heart can take it. I’ve seen him. He
is
pretty gorgeous.”

“Then it might be worth my winding up in the hospital just to sneak a peek at him.” She patted Karen’s hand. “Now, let me get out of here, so you can finish that meal and get some sleep. You want to look your best when you go to the gym.”

“I’m going for the exercise,” Karen reminded her piously.

“Well, of course you are,” Frances said. “But there’s no harm in exercising your libido at the same time, is there? You could use a man in your life.”

“I could say the same about you,” Karen returned. “I know there are at least half a dozen men at the senior center who are interested in seeing you.”

“Oh, piddle,” Frances said dismissively. “Who wants to listen to a bunch of old fools sit around and talk about their aches and pains? I’ve got enough of those myself.”

“Still, you might want to consider the benefit of having
some companionship,” Karen said. “I’m sure you must get lonely, too.”

“I have my moments,” Frances admitted, “but I’m never bored, not for a second. There’s plenty to do, if you just get out there and look for it. And then there are you, Daisy and Mack. You occupy a huge place in my life, where my own kids and grandkids would be if they lived close by. So, you see, my life is full. I have nothing to complain about.”

“You’re remarkable,” Karen told her with total sincerity. “I hope I grow up to be exactly like you.”

“You’ll be your own person,” Frances corrected. “There’s no one else on earth just like you. You need to remember that, Karen, and use this time on your own to figure out exactly who you are and who you want to become. Your children will be that much happier if they have a mom who’s confident and knows where she’s headed and how she plans to get there.”

“Do you really think I’ll figure that out?” Karen asked wistfully. “I was barely out of high school when I met Ray. He thought community college was a waste of time, so I didn’t go. I just put in my time at the diner. Then I got pregnant with Daisy, we got married and the kids came along. I didn’t plan any of that. Right now it seems like my only goal is keeping my head above water.”

“I know you’ll get past that,” Frances said. “Now get some sleep. Be sure you stop over tomorrow and tell me every single detail about that sexy trainer at the spa.”

“I love you,” Karen said, impulsively wrapping Frances in a hug. “I am so lucky you’re my neighbor and my friend.”

“Same goes for me,” Frances said. “You kiss those babies for me if you see them in the morning. Tell them I’ll be by in the afternoon. I’m baking oatmeal raisin cookies for them.”

“They’ll love that.”

She waited in the hallway until Frances had closed the door to her apartment and locked it, then went back into her own unit and tidied up the kitchen. Feeling one hundred percent better than she had earlier in the evening, she switched off the TV and the lights, then changed into her favorite pajamas and crawled into bed. She set the radio on a timer and turned it down low, the sound of oldies lulling her.

To her amazement, the instant her head hit the pillow, she felt herself drifting off to sleep, a smile on her lips. Deep inside was a tiny little seed of optimism about the future, something that hadn’t been there for months, perhaps even years.

K
aren had been inside The Corner Spa on several occasions to deliver some of the salads, muffins and other light menu items that Sullivan’s prepared for the spa café, but she’d never gone into the workout room. Dressed in a pair of shorts, old sneakers and a T-shirt, she approached it warily, stunned by the variety of equipment and the crowd of women, most of whom seemed to know each other.

The walls were a cheery shade of yellow. Sliding doors opened to a spring breeze and a tranquil view of a wooded area. There was music playing low in the background, something classical and soothing, but the predominant noise was conversation and laughter.

Too intimidated and uncertain to try any of the equipment, Karen stood where she was trying to decide what to do. She regretted not going back home after she’d stopped by Helen’s to drop off Mack’s stuffed bear and spend a few minutes with the kids before school. Here, she felt as awkward and out of place as she had in high school when she’d been expected to get excited about playing field hockey.

“You must be Karen,” a low male voice said, approaching her from behind.

That sexy rumble, which would have triggered an instant response in bed, was especially unexpected amid the higher-pitched female voices. She turned and stared into dark brown eyes the color of espresso. It was the first time she’d seen Elliott Cruz up close, and she couldn’t seem to tear her gaze away. With his long, coal-black hair pulled back from his face in a ponytail, those incredibly soulful eyes, broad chest and shoulders and impressive thighs, she understood why the personal trainer was the talk of Serenity’s females.

“I’m Elliott Cruz,” he told her. “Dana Sue told me to watch for you.”

A grin tugged at her lips. “And my neighbor told me to watch for you,” she said.

Surprise flickered in his eyes. “Oh? Is she a member here?”

“No, but she wants to be, just so she can get a look at you,” Karen blurted before she could censor herself. “She’s in her eighties. I don’t think the shock would be good for her.”

To her surprise, his olive complexion reddened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

He chuckled. “I could never work around this many women if I couldn’t handle a few stares and a whole lot of teasing. I’m pretty much immune to it.”

Karen thought otherwise. His embarrassment was unmistakable and suggested he was still taken aback by overt female appreciation. He led her through the gym toward a treadmill.

“Why don’t we start here?” he suggested, his hand resting on the machine.

“You’re going to put me on
that?
” she asked.

“Unless your idea of exercise is standing around watching everyone else sweat, you have to start somewhere,” he
said. “This is just walking, the most basic exercise of all. You can do that, can’t you?”

“On a sidewalk, not a machine.”

“Pretty much the same thing, except this gives you a way to control your pace and challenge yourself,” he said, pointing out all the dials and the calculations visible in the digital readouts. “You’ll be able to determine your pace, your distance, calories burned and so on. Hop on, and let’s see what you can do.”

Karen stepped up and placed her feet where Elliott told her to as he turned on the machine.

“When you’re ready, just step onto the treadmill and start walking,” he said. “I’ve set the speed fairly low for now.”

She did as he’d instructed and immediately clutched the bars in front of her in a death grip as she tried to walk at the measured pace of the machine.

“It’s going a little fast, isn’t it?” she asked as she felt herself sliding backward as she struggled to keep up with it.

He grinned. “That just means you need to walk a little faster,” he said, refusing to slow it down. “You can keep up. It’s not exercise if it doesn’t push you a little.”

She picked up her pace and felt herself falling into a more natural rhythm. It wasn’t so bad after all. “How long do I have to do this?”

“We’ll do ten minutes today and see how you hold up. I’d like to see you up to thirty minutes eventually.”

Ten minutes didn’t sound too tough. Once she grew accustomed to the machine, it’d be a breeze. “How long have I already done?”

“Two minutes.”

She frowned. Was that all? Surely she’d been at it longer. As if to mock her, her legs suddenly felt heavy and her
breath hitched slightly. “And you want eight more minutes?” she asked.

He regarded her solemnly. “Yes, I do.”

“Are you sure you didn’t set the speed higher?”

“Nope. Same speed. You can do this. I hear you have kids. They must keep you on the go. Surely you’re fit enough to do a brisk walk.”

There was something in his gorgeous eyes that made her want to do whatever he expected of her. She had a hunch that was why he was so good as a personal trainer. Every woman in the spa probably wanted to live up to his expectations, no matter how impossible they seemed to be.

Feeling an impish desire to torment him just as he was tormenting her, she looked him straight in the eye and asked, “If I finish the whole ten minutes, will you do something for me?”

His gaze narrowed with suspicion. “Such as?”

“Take off that shirt so I can see if your abs live up to all the hype,” she said in the same solemn tone he’d just used on her.

His low laugh washed over her. “Now, if I did that for every woman who asked, this place could wind up with a reputation as a strip club.” His gaze locked with hers. “You want to see my body, Karen, you’re going to have to work much harder than this.”

Karen sucked in her breath at the suggestive note in his voice. Anticipating amusement, she was surprised to see something darker and far more serious in the depths of his eyes. It was so totally male it made her knees weak. She almost stumbled and pitched off the back of the treadmill. He flipped the off switch in the nick of time and steadied her.

“You okay?” he asked.

Was she? It had been years since she’d flirted with a man, years since a simple sexual innuendo could make her blood run hot and her body tremble. Her marriage had lost that spark long before it had ended. Maybe that was why something that probably meant no more to Elliott Cruz than hello or goodbye sent her hormones into overdrive.

She plastered a smile on her face. “I’m fine,” she said. “What’s next?”

The slow warming of his smile melted the last of her defenses.

“Something told me you were going to become an eager student,” he said.

Karen was eager, all right. Unfortunately, it had less to do with whatever torture Elliott had in mind for the next hour than it did with anticipation of what might happen in a more private setting.

“Idiot,” she muttered under her breath. No doubt every woman in here thought she would be the one to capture his attention. She’d have to be a fool to think he’d singled her out after only a few minutes in her company.

“Did you say something?” he asked.

“No, nothing,” she said. “Just talking to myself.”

And, with any luck at all, maybe her rampaging libido would get the message. She had a feeling the pleasurable sensations she was experiencing weren’t exactly what Dr. McDaniels had been talking about when she’d discussed one of the side benefits of exercise.

Helen was extremely proud of herself. She had both kids bathed and dressed in neatly ironed clothes by the time Erik rang the doorbell at 5:30 p.m. to take them out for supper.

“My, my, don’t you two look good,” he said to Daisy
and Mack, swinging Daisy up in his arms to give her a smacking kiss on the cheek that had her giggling and Mack holding out his arms for a turn.

Then his gaze landed on Helen and his expression changed. He seemed to be struggling to contain a laugh.

“What?” she asked.

“Have you checked a mirror lately?” he inquired delicately.

“No.” Since she arrived home from work, she’d been too busy getting Mack and Daisy ready for their outing. Erik had arrived before she’d had a chance to check her makeup, much less think about changing her own clothes.

“You might want to do that,” he said. “Not that I don’t think you look terrific, because I do.” A wicked grin spread across his face. “Believe me, I do.”

Helen frowned because his gaze seemed to be lingering on her chest. “I’ll be right back.”

In the bathroom, she took one look in the full-length mirror on the back of the door and groaned. Her silk blouse had gotten completely soaked when she’d had the kids in the tub. It was plastered to her chest, revealing the pattern in her lacy bra and a whole lot more. No wonder Erik had gaped.

Her skirt, though not as revealing, was every bit as drenched. She ducked into her room, grabbed another blouse and a pair of linen slacks, and slid her feet into more sensible shoes. Her hair and makeup took two seconds to fix.

Satisfied she was more presentable, she returned to find all three of them on the sofa watching cartoons. Erik seemed as absorbed as the kids.

“I hate to tear you all away from your entertainment, but shouldn’t we be going?” she asked.

Daisy protested, but a look from Erik was enough to silence her. Mack seemed perfectly content to do whatever Erik suggested. He was especially delighted when Erik swung him up on his shoulders to carry him piggyback.

“Go!” he ordered imperiously.

Erik laughed. “He’s taking after you already,” he said to Helen as he headed for the door.

“Something tells me you didn’t mean that as a compliment.” She followed him out and locked the house behind them.

They piled into Helen’s car because it had the kids’ seats, but when Erik offered to drive, Helen accepted. She could hardly keep her eyes open. She’d had no idea how exhausting it would be trying to keep up with kids for several days running.

The fast-food restaurant Erik drove them to was in the next town, and it had an indoor play area. Daisy spotted it at once.

“Can we go play?” she pleaded.

“Not until we’ve eaten,” Erik said. “Why don’t you guys find a table and I’ll get the food? Daisy, you want to come with me to help?”

“Sure!” she said, obviously delighted to be the object of Erik’s attention.

Helen settled Mack in a booster seat, then watched Erik bending down to consult Daisy as they ordered. She was amazed by how at ease he was with the kids. Though she’d relaxed considerably over the past few days, she was still awkward with them. She told herself it was because they’d been thrust into her life with no preparation. She hadn’t even met them before. Truthfully, though, it was more than that. It was the responsibility of keeping them safe and making them feel secure ’til they could be with their mom
again. Much as she hated to admit it, she needed a support system as desperately as Karen had. Frances was pitching in, but they needed backup. Maybe Annie would be willing to babysit or just come by to give Helen a break in the evenings. She was still pondering the options when Erik and Daisy approached.

“Why the frown?” Erik whispered in her ear as he set the tray that was piled high with food on the table. “Are you overthinking all this again?”

She forced a smile. “More than likely.”

“Sugar, they’re people. Enjoy them.” He divvied up the huge order, then suggested, “Daisy, why don’t you tell Helen about that story your teacher read in school today?”

Daisy regarded her hopefully. “You wanna hear?”

“I’d love to,” Helen said.

Daisy began with what had to be the very first page and told the whole long, rambling story of a dinosaur, adding some embellishments Helen suspected hadn’t been in the original. Her telling, though, was filled with enough drama and enthusiasm to keep Mack spellbound and Helen laughing.

“Brava!” she enthused when Daisy had concluded. “You’re an excellent storyteller.”

“I could read it to you tonight,” Daisy offered eagerly. “I brought the book home from school. My teacher said it would be okay.”

“I’d love that,” Helen said, and realized she meant it.

“Now can Mack and me go play?” Daisy begged Erik after they’d eaten.

Erik glanced at Helen. “Okay with you?”

She looked at the indoor equipment where several other young children were already playing. “Are you sure it’s safe?”

Erik nodded. “I’m sure.”

She gave her approval. “Just stay where we can see you.”

After they’d gone, Erik studied her. “Letting them go wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“No, I’m trying to get better at it.” She sighed. “I know I’m too uptight, but this parenting business is scary.”

“I imagine that’s how everyone feels when they bring their first baby home from the hospital. You came home with two kids who already have personalities, a vocabulary and who are mobile. It’s no doubt been a shock to your system. You’ll get the hang of it, though.”

“What I don’t get,” she said, regarding him with curiosity, “is why someone who’s as comfortable with children as you are isn’t interested in having a whole crew of them.”

His expression suddenly shuttered as if she’d ventured into an area so personal that any considerate person would have known it was completely off-limits.

“Did I say something wrong?” she asked, not sure why he was so sensitive on this subject.

He shook his head. “Of course not. I just don’t have any plans to have a family. I told you that.”

“But you’d be—”

He cut her off. “Not going to happen, okay?”

If he hadn’t looked so shaken, she might have persisted. Instead she let the subject drop. “I’m sorry.”

He rested his hand on hers. “No,
I’m
sorry for snapping at you. It was a perfectly reasonable question. I’m just a little touchy. All my plans to have kids were tied up with my wife. When she died, that part of my life died with her.”

He sounded so sad that Helen couldn’t help wondering if the loss was recent. “How long ago did your wife die?”

“Six years and seven months ago,” he said tonelessly.

Helen knew there wasn’t any strict timetable for grief, but that seemed like a long time to be mourning someone’s loss.

“Before you went to culinary school?” she guessed.

He nodded. “I needed to make a complete change after she died. A friend suggested culinary school, mainly as a distraction because she knew I enjoyed cooking. It turned out I loved it. The instructors said I was a natural. And it eventually brought me back to life.”