Feeling This (20 page)

His brows knit and he stares over my shoulder not meeting my eyes and asks, “What are you sorry about?”

I stand there unable to speak for a minute. I wasn’t expecting this reaction. My voice comes out strained, “Nothing, I guess. I’m sorry for Heidi.”

I wait as the silence spreads and I know my cheeks are darkening giving me away.

He glances at me as if I’m a nuisance and walks toward the men on the other side of the barn.

I am completely irritated spinning toward the house. The least he could have done was acknowledge that I was trying to have a conversation with him. This is a completely different person from the one at the bar and motel the other day. I stride back to the house as my fury at Jordan Rhodes grows.

Chapter Twenty One

When it’s time to go today, I’m more than ready. Before I leave I seek out Mike and ask, “Hey, I was wondering if there is a good place to get a drink around here?”

“Sure, the Duck is the big place around here.” Exactly as I thought, unfortunately, after my display with Kimber today, the Duck is the last place I want to go.

I mumble, “Are there any others you would recommend?”

“Well, there’s Mary’s, but she only serves beer. If you want somthin’ stronger you gotta go to the Duck. That or get a bottle and take it back home with you.”

“Thanks, see you tomorrow.” I walk toward my car.

“Sounds good, and Jordan,” I turn back around, “You’re doin’ a great job, ‘specially for a city boy.”

I smirk and salute him heading to my car. I go straight to the motel and contemplate Mike’s suggestion of the bottle idea but decide to chance the Duck. Maybe Kimber has Monday nights off, I reason.

When I enter, my eyes betray me and go straight to the bar. The same tall skinny guy from the other night is behind the counter alone. I take a deep breath and find a stool at the corner. The bartender comes up and asks, “What can I get ya?”

“How about a beer for now, anything on tap is fine.”

He nods eyeing me for a minute but then turns to pour the mug of beer. I glance around to find it pretty busy for a Monday night. Half of the tables are full and the bar is just about full. A woman with short black hair and tattoos all over her arms sits to my right. The bartender swings over to her after he places my beer down. She climbs halfway over the edge and plants a kiss on him. I look away embarrassed for the guy but a familiar ache forms in the pit of my stomach remembering how things were with Susan.

The bartender backs up and glances over, looking past me. He spins back to the girl in front of him and whispers, “Jenna, she’s here, you might want to make yourself scarce.”

She waves him away as she takes another sip of her beer while holding up her hand and crossing her fingers, “Derek, she’s my sister, thick as thieves.”

He shakes his head and walks to the other end of the narrow space. I look away, content to wallow in self-pity for the moment. Mr. Weller’s voice keeps playing through my head, “I just wanted to have that talk with you, son. It can wait though.” 

What does he want to talk to me about? The day he wanted to talk I couldn’t bear it. She was suddenly gone and I thought he wanted to talk about how we both failed her, which I already know. Maybe he just wanted to acknowledge to me that she did have a problem but if that is the case it’s too late now and not a conversation I want to have.

An angry voice brings me out of my thoughts, “Jenna, Why would you show your face here? You know I’m pissed at you.”

I look up to the sound, as much as I don’t want to admit it, she sounds like an angel every time I hear her. She’s fuming and glaring at the woman beside me, who doesn’t seem too concerned. I look back to Kimber, her cutoffs end at the top of her thighs and her black tank top is tight, fitting her small curves perfectly.

She glances over at me and scowls exclaiming, “And you, why are you here especially after the last time you were here?”

I’m shocked at what just came out of her mouth but I’m also amused at her little temper. She’s momentarily taken me out of my pity party and I’m thankful.

The girl beside me leans over and grasps my hand, smiling, “Well nice to meet you. Welcome to the world of Kimber hate. Glad to have you join me.” Her speech is slightly slurred.

Kimber huffs and turns to talk to a girl at the service bar. The other bartender strolls down glancing back at Kimber and leans in between the girl and myself. He looks at me and chuckles, “Hey, I’m Derek. I thought I recognized you. You’re the dude that was here the other night that Kimber helped home, right? What’d you do? She doesn’t rage like that at just anyone.”

Before I can answer the girl beside me squirms in her seat making her jean skirt rise higher on her thighs and she comes closer declaring, “Wait, my sister went home with you?”

I back away as much as the stool will allow.
Sister
. I glance back down the bar at Kimber. I meet her stare and I can see something other than the anger, sorrow. I turn back to her sister, putting my hands up in surrender.

“Yes, Kimber helped me back to my motel but nothing happened. I swear.”

The girl glowers at me and calls out to Kimber, “Hey, you’re all pissed at me but you’re goin’ home with strange men. What the hell Kimber?”

Kimber rushes down the bar and shushes her sister angrily, “Dammit Jenna. I work here remember. If you get me fired because of your big mouth I won’t be able to support Momma and me. God knows you’re not helping any.”

Jenna shakes her head mumbling, “You aren’t gonna let this go are you?”

She hisses back, “No, so just stay away.”

Before anymore is said, Derek comes up behind Kimber, placing his hands on her shoulders and squeezing. Her eyes avert to me almost with a questioning look.

I stare at her unable to move my gaze. What is this girl doing to me? She moves away when a waitress down at the service bar calls to her. Derek comes over to Jenna and asks, “Do you want me to take you home now?”

She nods and then looks over to me as Derek walks away. She holds out her hand waiting. I glance at it for a few seconds before grasping it. She whispers, “Hello, I’m Jenna, Kimber’s sister.”

“Hello Jenna, I’m Jordan Rhodes.”

“Well nice to meet you Jordan. Don’t you dare hurt my sister. She’s already had too much heartache in her life.”

I’m surprised at her candidness but I shouldn’t be at this point. It seems to be a common trait among the people here.

“I won’t.” Is all I can utter. When my glance meets Kimber’s again, a sweet smile spreads across her face and I wonder what is going through that feisty little head of her’s. As much as I want to stay away from her, I’m finding it harder and harder to do.

Chapter Twenty Two

I’m surprised to find Jordan at the bar when I get there tonight. Even more surprised as I make my way behind the counter to find my sister sitting right next to him. As soon as I see them all the anger from the past two days surfaces and I let loose. Jenna has been obviously drinking for a while so I don’t bother with her after she loudly embarrasses me. A look passes over Jordan’s features when he hears that Jenna is my sister. It’s amusing, a nice change from his indifference earlier today. He looks across the bar and meets my stare. I can’t help but smile at him. He is just so delicious I want to…
I look away not finishing that thought. What the hell is wrong with me?

Once Derek leaves to take Jenna home I’m alone with a full bar so the fact that Jordan is sitting only a few feet away, slips my mind a couple of times. But then I look up aware of someone’s eyes boring into me and meet his gaze and remember that he’s here. Each time I look back over at him, he turns away pretending that something else has called his attention. A part of me wants to try to talk to him again but my fear of rejection holds me back. Each time his mug is empty I grab it without meeting his eyes and set it back down in front of him, avoiding any kind of confrontation. He thanks me quietly but that’s as far as it goes.

When Derek comes back I give him a death glare. He shakes his head walking over to me with his arms splayed as if to question me.

I start in on him once everyone has been served, “Derek, I can’t believe you.”

“What Kimber? It slipped that you took him home. She won’t do anything anyway. She’s more upset that you’re so angry at her.”

Frowning, I tell him, “I don’t care that you told her about Jordan. I’m a big girl; I can take care of myself. I’m upset that you didn’t keep her away from Momma like you said you would. Did she tell you what she did?”

My voice becomes a whisper while I step closer, “Of course she didn’t.” I don’t give him a chance to speak. “She bought Momma a bottle. She’s a borderline alcoholic and sick on top of that. Jenna is helping her die!” The exasperation shows in my voice. The more I dwell on it, the more my outrage at my sister simmers. She doesn’t think about anyone else but herself.

He places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes before he walks to the service bar where Becca is yelling that she needs service. I look over glaring at her and spin around, my eyes meeting Jordan’s stare again. His eyes slant curiously and his brows knit together. Finally, a tilted smile appears at the corner of his lips. My heart stops for a minute causing me to take a deep breath.

Tired of this, I march right up in front of him, place my hands on my hips and spit out, “What is the deal Jordan?”

The half-smile turns to a full smile with a perfect dimple in the center of his cheek. I falter in my accusing tone while taking a step back and quietly clarify, “One minute you’re ignoring me when I’m trying to apologize for my best friend and the next you’re smiling at me like that.”

I take another deep breath suddenly feeling like the oxygen in the room is too thick to breath.

His stare widens as does his smile when he states, “Has anyone ever told you how irresistible you are?”

My heart falters at his words and I feel like my knees are about to give out. Confusion must register on my face because he apologizes, “Kimber I’m sorry for today. You caught me at a bad time. That isn’t an excuse but I do apologize for being so rude to you.”