Feeling This (33 page)

Mrs. Rhodes slides in to the backseat
beside me and lifts her mouth in a half smile. That’s probably all I’m going to
get from her. She says softly eyeing my jeans and pink t-shirt, “Maybe we
should get more than just a dress.”

I shrug my shoulders and glance forward.
Jennifer is talking to her mom animatedly about the bridesmaids and their
dresses, switching to something about getting her hair and makeup done. I am
guessing she is in the wedding, thank God. Maybe she’ll keep her distance.

The day drawls out pretty fast. Jennifer
doesn’t say very much to me all day. When it’s time to look for a dress,
Jennifer takes off to another store on her own. Mrs. Rhodes and Mrs. Fontaine
stay with me taking me to a small boutique called Papaya. It seems like a hole
in the wall but when I glance at some of the price tags, I am appalled. I could
eat for a year with the cost of some of the dresses. I let them pick various
dresses out for me to try on. Since it is black tie they choose vibrant colored
dresses. The first one in the batch that I try on, I instantly fall in love
with. It is a deep red cocktail dress with a halter style top. It hugs every
part of me perfectly and the color makes my skin glow. Reluctantly, I leave the
dressing room afraid of any criticism. Mrs. Fontaine is the first to make a
comment, “Well, Kimber, that was quick. I think we found your dress.”

Mrs.Rhodes agrees, “You look ravishing in
that color. I think it is perfect.”

My smile beams at their reactions. I was
sure they were going to hate it. I rush back to take it off. Once I’m dressed
and I fit it back on the hanger, I glance at the price, $600. There is no way I
can pay that much of Jordan’s money for this dress. He told me unlimited but he
couldn’t have meant this much. I walk out reluctantly, without the dress.

Mrs. Rhodes asks, “Kimber where is the
dress? I thought you liked that one.”

I stammer uncomfortably, “I do. I just
can’t…”

She frowns, “Did Jordan offer to pay for
it?”

I nod even more uncomfortable. My hands
start twisting with apprehension. She glances at my hands and her eyes widen
but then she asks, “You don’t know much about him do you?”

This about pushes me over the edge, but
before I can run away and bury my head out of embarrassment she sets me
straight, “Mr. Rhodes owns one of the most prominent tech companies in the
country. Jordan can afford that dress and if he told you to buy a dress, he
meant it so go on and get it. We have limited time today.”

I turn to the dressing room and bring the
dress back out. After the transaction I step out into the sun to find that
Jennifer has joined them. Mrs. Rhodes tells them, “Ladies we need to find some
shoes then we’ll meet you for lunch at Chateau Brielle.”

 We make our way down the little
cobblestoned road to a shoe boutique. Once inside she chooses three pairs and
gives them to the attendant with my size. She sits next to me in a chair and
smiles telling me, “I think there might be a little more to you that
I
don’t
know. Forgive me for my rudeness yesterday. I thought with your clothing and
such, maybe you were in it just for the money.”

I shake my head shyly and finally tell her
seriously, “I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot. I have fallen in love with
Jordan and it has nothing to do with money. I didn’t know where he came from
until we pulled up to your massive house yesterday.”

She laughs a full laugh and her eyes
crinkle. When she straightens herself out she examines me and admits, “You are
nothing like Susan.”

I wonder if that is a good thing but she
doesn’t expand. The attendant comes back and we choose a silver pair of two
inch heels that wrap around my foot daintily, fastening at my ankle. I marvel
at these exquisite things. I don’t know that I could ever get used to this. At
the last minute she adds a matching silver satchel.

Lunch is quick because Jennifer has to go
and get ready with the other bridesmaids. She barely looks over at me or
acknowledges my presence throughout, but Mrs. Rhodes seems to have warmed up to
me. The jury is still out on Mrs. Fontaine. I think she is just loyal to her
daughter. This makes me think of Momma. I long for the relationship I used to
have with her. Seeing Jennifer with her mom makes me miss that.

They drop us off at the house and I’m
practically bouncing out of my shoes excited to see Jordan. We’ve been apart
all day but it’s too long in my opinion. To my disappointment, Mrs. Rhodes
tells me, “They won’t be back for a couple more hours. If you want to swim a
little or catch up on T.V. then you are welcome.” She finishes with, “Please
make yourself comfortable Kimber.”

I decide on swimming. After an hour of
swimming, I drift off to sleep on a lounge chair flanking the pool. Warm breath
on my cheek wakes me. My eye lids flutter to find Jordan a few inches from my
face. I clasp my arms around his neck bringing him down to me. He stumbles
ending up halfway on the chair with me. I kiss him deeply but when we part I
crinkle my nose exclaiming, “Ewww, you smell.”

He chuckles while lifting me from the
chair. I’m in a purple bikini so I look quickly to make sure everything is still
covered. He slides his feet out of his shoes and steps up to the edge of the
pool. When I realize what he is going to do I protest yelling until water fills
my mouth. We both surface and I wrap my arms around him wanting so badly to
tell him how much I love him.

But before I can say anything a shadow
shades us. We both glance up to find Mr. Rhodes standing there uncomfortably.
Aw, poor guy, he has caught us twice now. I smile and pull away from Jordan
swimming to the other end of the pool.

His dad mutters, “Your mom sent me to
remind you that you need to be at the church in an hour and a half.” Jordan tells
him something and he nods, walking in the other direction. Jordan turns to me
with a mischievous look on his face. I lower myself under water and see him
swimming toward me. So I try to climb out of the pool but he grabs my foot
making me fall back into the water. His arms come around me from behind and he sucks
on my ear before whispering, “I need to go and get ready.”

I nod against him, wanting nothing more
than to skip this damn wedding. But instead I turn in his arms and ask, “Did
you have fun today? Was it good to see Dave?”

A giant smile spreads across his lips as he
admits, “It was really good to see him. I think you’ll really like him and Bree
too.”

I’m sure I will too, just not that they
will like me especially this soon after Susan. He moves back further and
explains, “I have to be there early but you can stay out here a while longer
and just come with my parents if you want.”

I think about this for a minute and decide
yes, I could use a little more sun time. He kisses me before climbing out of
the pool, “See you soon.”

I wink and swim back under.

An hour later, I make my way back up to
Jordan’s room and find that he’s already left. He left me a note:

Dear Kimber,

Thank you for being here. You have no idea how
much it means to me.

I will see you at the wedding. I’ll be the one
grinning ear to ear when you walk into the room

Love, Jordan

I hold the note to my chest. He is so
incredible. Once I’m all dressed and my hair is up off my shoulders in a messy
pile, Mrs. Rhodes knocks on the door. She enters the room before I can answer.
In her hands is a bracelet. It’s absolutely gorgeous, a dainty white gold chain
with three circles of diamonds in the middle. I step back, afraid to even touch
it. She laughs and tells me, “Kimber, I brought this because I thought it would
be perfect with your dress. It’s on loan if that makes you feel better.”

I nod smiling and reach out for it. She
gestures that she will fasten it. When it’s on she takes a step back and grins,
“You are precious. That is the perfect dress. I want you to know that Jordan
told us about your mom. If you need anything, we can help. Are you ready to go?”

I take a deep breath as a tear runs down my
cheek, “As ready as I’m going to get.” I grab the small purse that mirrors my
shoes.

She loops her hand through my arm and walks
me out. Mr. Rhodes is waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs. He looks
first to his wife in a floor length deep purple gown then to me. He winks at me
and nods approvingly. I fidget the whole way to the church. It’s terrible how
nervous I am. You would think I was the one getting married. When we get there,
the Rhodes lead me to the fourth row of pews from the front. We sit and my leg
moves involuntarily. Mrs. Rhodes leans over noticing my leg and tells me,
“Susan used to do that.”

I frown, not sure of her meaning.

“She would fidget like that whenever she
was nervous. Calm down, you have nothing to be worried about. You look
gorgeous.”

Her words quiet my anxiety for a few
minutes until the music signaling the bridal party begins. We watch as nine
sets of couples walk down the aisle to the altar. As each couple proceeds, I
look to the back of the church waiting to see Jordan. I think I knew in the
back of my mind all along but I refused to acknowledge it consciously but the
tenth couple blasts it to me. Jordan turns the corner and attached to him as
close as she can get is Jenifer Fontaine. I want to vomit. She knew all along
and planned on rubbing it in my face. I look to Jordan, once his eyes meet mine
it seems relief washes over him. His smile spreads as he eyes my dress. But I
feel doom. I can’t return his smile because of the bitch attached to his side.

I fidget the entire wedding until Jordan’s
mom finally places her hand over mine and squeezes. After the ceremony Jordan
comes straight over much to the protests of the rest of the bridal party.

He leans over to kiss my cheek. His lips
linger as he whispers, “You are irresistible.”

I smirk at his ‘Jordan’ remark and then
look past him at Jennifer’s glare. I look back up to him and ask, “Did you
know? Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shakes his head adamantly, “I didn’t
know. I think they didn’t tell me on purpose. Don’t worry though. She’s nothing
Kimber.”

He lifts my chin, “You are my life,
remember?”

My head moves up and down in agreement even
though doubt still lingers.

“Hey, I have to go for pictures. Go with my
parents and I’ll meet you at the reception.”

He kisses me quickly and turns to walk the
other way. His mom flanks my side and tells me, “I am very thankful to you and
I think you already know why.”

This calms me a little. They are all trying
to tell me that Jordan is mine, I’m still so scared. Everything I’ve ever had
has gone away eventually. I follow them out to the car and we drive to the
reception. Momma runs through my mind during the short drive. I called her this
afternoon to check on her. She was her usual fiery self, complaining about
having a nurse and Mrs. Bruin having to come over. But I caught a hint of fear
in her voice. I know she is frightened I won’t come back. But that is furthest
from my plans and I told her repeatedly that I would be back soon even though
she didn’t ask.

The country club is everything you would
expect but when we walk into the grand room decorated with pink peonies and
white tulle, I stop mid stride to take it all in. Mrs. Rhodes chuckles, “I
forget that you aren’t used to this. It’s okay, go and explore. I think our
table is right over here in front of the bridal party.” I glance over and my
heart falters again remembering that the bridal party sits together at
weddings. I decide to explore later and trek after them to the table. I am so
out of my element. Weddings at home are not nearly this extravagant.

I’m engaged in a conversation with another
woman, Mrs. James, who just lost her husband last year but has known Jordan since
he was in diapers. It’s enlightening learning about him because he is still so
closed up.  Strong arms encircle me from behind and a kiss on the temple brings
me out of my conversation with her. He pulls the chair out beside me and sits
as close as it will allow. He jokes, “Hi Mrs. James, I see you’re up to your
old ways, telling embarrassing stories I’ll never live down.”

“I do what I can Jordan. You have yourself
a sweet girl here.”

He strokes my cheek looking at me while
telling her, “I know.”

He leans in closer, “Irresistible. That
rule you made up about hanky panky, it officially went out the window with this
dress.”

I grin and look down at my lap shyly. He
tells me, “My best man duties are officially over.”

“Really, I thought you had to sit up there.”

“Kimber, I’m not leaving your side to let
some other dude ask you to dance, no way.”

This is the best news I’ve heard all night.

Once the sun goes down, the room lights up
with white and pale pink bulbs as a DJ plays country music to get us all up and
dancing. Dave and Bree immediately embraced me and told me how happy they are
that Jordan found someone so wonderful. The night didn’t turn out so bad after
all. I’m even considering Jordan’s proposition of staying over tonight and
getting an early start tomorrow to go back home.