Feeling This (31 page)

My momma is so hateful and I’ve about had
it with her. I finally stood up to her in the hospital room. Jordan’s presence
seemed to give me a little more strength than I would normally have, or so I
tell myself.

We sit in her room all day, listening to
the same complaints. I’ve given up on the arguing but she hasn’t said another
word about us going to Dallas. I know she’s worried that I won’t come back.
She’s been abandoned enough already as it is.

When we pull into the drive in front of the
house, a maroon sedan pulls in beside us. A middle-aged woman with long brown
hair dressed in scrubs climbs from the car as we help Momma out. She glances
over at the woman as she sits in the wheelchair the hospital insisted upon. Her
eyes are worried when she meets my gaze so I place my hand on her shoulder and
squeeze. I want to lean over and assure her it will all be alright but I’m not
so sure anymore. I am slowly coming to realize that the more I try to control
things, the faster they spiral out of my control. It’s impossible for me to
manage everything. Maybe it’s time for me to let go and allow Jordan to help.

I look up to Jordan as he handles the
wheelchair with as little bumps as possible while maneuvering it through the
dirt drive. The nurse follows us up onto the tiny porch and I unlock the door.

I ask the nurse quietly, “Can you take my
momma in the house? We’ll be right in.”

The nurse grasps the handles and pushes her
through the doorway. I hold Jordan back forcing him to look at me, “I realize
now that there is no way I can control all of this. I trust you and yes, I do
know you need to do this.”

He leans in and whispers, tickling the skin
along my ear with his breath, “Thank you Kimber.” And he gently kisses the
pulse point on my neck. Damn, what this man does to me. If Momma wasn’t on the
other side of this wall, I’d have jumped him already.

A shrill voice rings through the air,
“Kimber!”

I sigh before turning to walk into the
house. I hesitate looking back at Jordan, suddenly embarrassed by the place I
call home. He hugs me from behind.  Maybe a few days away will be good for me
and Momma.

“Coming Momma.”

A few hours later after explicit
instructions to the nurse about no alcohol, we climb back into the Infiniti
with my bag in tow. I packed it seems, my entire wardrobe because I’m not sure
what to expect. The part that scares the shit out of me is meeting his parents.
I know nothing because he’s still so closed up about things. Jordan tells me
before backing out, “I didn’t get to tell you before, thank you for going with
me.”

I grab his hand this time pushing away my
worries and plant a kiss across his knuckles in response. He seems to let out a
breath that he was holding and puts the car into reverse.

We drive the hour and a half singing
eighties tunes and playing name that tune. I am especially good at this era so
I pretty much kick his ass. He’s not a sore loser though.

As the car careens off of the highway onto
a major four lane road Jordan turns down the music. His voice turns serious and
he admits, “Kimber, I told you a little about my childhood. We all have demons,
you know that and you will know all of mine very shortly. Please remember that
you are my life now.”

I nod unsure why it was necessary for him
to tell me that but loving hearing it nonetheless. He is silent a few more
minutes until he turns down a narrow tree lined drive. Finally, we stop at a
gate. He looks over to my widened eyes before punching in a code, forcing the
slatted doors to swing inward. My middle is suddenly turning over. A short
distance further, we pull into a circular drive towered by a house bigger than
any I have ever seen. I always thought Heidi lived in a mansion. I was terribly
wrong. I grab Jordan’s hand as he turns the key in the ignition.

“Jordan, you grew up here?”

He nods uneasily.

I complain, “Why didn’t you tell me? I
don’t have anything appropriate to wear. They will hate me.”

He smiles, cradling my cheek in his hand,
“Kimber, they will love you. As for your clothes, anything you brought will be
fine.”

Doubt takes over my brain. How could I let
him talk me into this? I am so out of my element. There is no way I have anything
in common with these people.

He gets out of the car and walks around
opening my door. As he stands there staring down at me, it gives me a tiny bit
of strength. I have Jordan in common with them. Is that enough though? He pulls
me up and into his arms whispering, “It will all be fine. Remember you said
that you trust me to take care of you.”

I glance back up to the intimidating
structure before us and notice movement. Jordan breaks our embrace at the sound
of the door. He turns us to the porch and grabs my bag from me while holding my
hand with a slight squeeze.

“Hey Mom.”

A woman dressed in a yellow dress steps
down the steps carefully watching her step in two inch heels. Her hair is a
dyed light blonde in a short cut. I brace myself and put on my best smile. She
steps off the bottom stair and faces us.

Jordan declares, “Mom, I want to introduce
you to Kimber Maguire. Kimber this is my mom, Jane.”

She eyes me suspiciously. A smile as fake
as they come meets her lips and she offers her hand in a brief shake. Then she
averts her glance to Jordan and seems to whine, “Jordan, you didn’t tell me you
were bringing anyone. I only had Maria get your room ready. None of the other
rooms are available right now.”

He frowns and answers angrily, “Kimber will
be fine in my room.”

She hesitates, “Well honey, I don’t think
that will send the right message.”

I can tell he is getting more agitated but
truthfully I don’t think he is quite as put out as I am. What the hell is this
woman’s problem?

She leans into the opposite side from where
I am standing and whispers not very quietly, “Jordan, it’s David’s wedding. We
are letting some of the guests stay here.”

He frowns further, “Mother, who is staying
here?”

“The Fontaines are here. Jennifer has
been…” She glances over at me with a downward glance before finishing, “she’s
been asking about you.”

Jordan glares at her, “Why would you do
that?”

She clasps her hands together uneasily but
tells him firmly, “Well if you would have told me you were bringing um…”

“Kimber.”

“Oh yes, Kimber, if you could have just
called me, I would have asked them to make other arrangements.”

He squeezes my hand and pulls me toward the
porch, uttering back to his mother standing behind us, “No, you wouldn’t have.
Kimber will stay with me.”

We enter the house and I am suddenly glued
in place. The grand staircase and marble entry way take my breath away. A giant
chandelier, bigger than my bed back home, hovers above us, glistening like a
star suspended from the ceiling. Jordan pulls me toward the staircase and
brings his arm around my shoulders.  I follow him up, looking back over the
railing the whole way up. I’m completely and utterly shocked that this
incredible man that I love, comes from this.

We walk down a long hallway finally coming
to a door on the left. He opens it to a room three times the size as mine. A
king sized bed is dwarfed by the sheer size of the room. It’s decorated
sparsely in neutral colors. I suddenly feel like I’m in a plush hotel. This
can’t be real. He drops our bags encircling me within his arms. His lips find
my pulse point following my neck up to my jaw and finally devouring my lips.
I’m reluctant at first because of where we are but his tongue quickly persuades
me otherwise. Our lips move roughly forcing my tongue to dance with his. His
hands move down my hips tracing my hip bones arousing other parts of me. My
hands run along his neck and up into his soft hair.

A hard knock and rough throat clearing
interrupt us. I pull back with a completely red face embarrassed by what we
were just doing in his parents’ house.
Dammit Kimber, what were you thinking?
Oh yeah, you weren’t.
  Jordan looks down amused by my embarrassment. He
turns to the door after he runs his hand back over my cheek deepening my blush.

“Hey Dad, how are you?”

“Well, son, your mom wanted me to um, talk
to you.”

I turn around after I get myself together
and grab Jordan’s hand. He interrupts before his dad can say anything else,
“Dad, this is Kimber Maguire, my girlfriend.”

He holds his hand out and I take it. He
squeezes my hand in both of his looking from Jordan and back to me before
telling me, “It’s very nice to meet you Kimber.”

“It’s very nice to meet you too, Mr.
Rhodes.”

“Oh, no need for formalities, you can call
me, Ben.”

“Okay, Ben.”

Jordan steps forward and asks, “What does
she want now?”

His dad looks back to Jordan and tells him,
“Oh, don’t worry about it. It was really nothing. I’ll give you some privacy.
It was really nice meeting you, Kimber.”

He leaves closing the door. I’m dumbfounded
at the title he gave to his dad. My voice comes out soft, “Did you just tell
him that I’m your girlfriend?”

Jordan laughs gathering me in his arms. He
mumbles against my cheeks, “I did. Is that alright with you? It just seemed
like the right thing to say.”

I nod at a loss for words. He actually
wants to be with me and only me. Somehow this just hasn’t sunk in yet.

“My dad seems to really like you.”

I slap his shoulder as he brings me back to
my previous mortification, “Jordan, that was so embarrassing.”

I push him away and warn, “No more hanky panky
while we’re here. The last thing we need is your mom walking in here. I get the
impression she isn’t a big fan of mine.”

He shakes his head, “Don’t worry about her.
She barks worse than she bites.”

Good to know. I’m still not feeling very
good about this whole thing though, I should have just stayed home.

A short while later after we’ve relocated
to the back porch overlooking the massive pool, Ben, Jordan’s dad, comes out to
tell us that dinner is ready. He tells Jordan to go ahead of us, and that he
wants to get to know me. This worries me but I’m cornered, I have no choice.

As we walk slowly to the stone steps he
acknowledges, “Kimber, I don’t know where Jordan has been all this time and I
don’t know where he found you. But I see something in him, something that has
been gone for a while.”

I ask, “Since Susan’s death?”

He nods carefully, “He told you?”

“Yes, it’s terrible that he had to endure
that.”

“I agree, but I think you are good for him.
I wanted to thank you for being there when he needed someone.”

I’m shocked at his words but completely
flattered.

I brush it off, “He is a wonderful man. I
didn’t do anything.”

“That is where you are wrong. We weren’t
sure we would ever get him back. I think you are the cause of him ‘waking up’
and I am very thankful.”

By this time we are to the door that opens
up to the kitchen. He pulls the handle gesturing me in first. Once in the
expansive kitchen, he leads me to another room off to the right. A dining room housing
a perfectly round dining table complete with five other people sitting around
it. I scan the eyes all suddenly focused on me and find two pairs that
momentarily make me want to run.

Jordan gets up and pulls out the chair next
to him. I slide in wanting to flee as fast as I can. Once his dad is situated,
Jordan gestures around the table introducing each person. His mom dismisses me
as if I’m not here but the two women, Jennifer Fontaine and her mother Margaret
stare with interest. I can feel myself turning inward as if I can roll up into
a ball and disappear. God, I wish I could.

Jordan lifts a bottle of wine from the
table and fills a glass perched in front of my place setting. Once he is
finished, his hand finds mine under the table and I hold on tight as if my fate
depends on it. The daughter, Jennifer who is really very beautiful, begins with
the third degree. Her hair is long and curly almost the platinum blonde, the
color of Heidi’s. Her brown eyes bore into me as she asks, “So Kimber, where
are you from?”

My voice is strained when I try to answer
so I start over, “I, uh, I’m from Mount Vernon, about an hour and a half drive
from here.”

She looks over to Jordan with a slight
chuckle, “Jordan, how could you end up in a place like that? I heard some
things about Mount Pleasant, that isn’t far from there is it?”

I sink backward hoping that disappearing
thing could happen very soon.

Jordan ignores her and turns to his mom,
“What time is the wedding tomorrow?”

She shifts in her seat and takes a sip of
her wine before answering, “It’s at five o’clock, black tie at the club.” Her
eyes look over to me with a question in her face. I know exactly what she is thinking.
And no I don’t have anything good enough to wear to a black tie event at a
country club.