Fay Weldon's Wicked Fictions (63 page)

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Authors: Regina Barreca

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BOOK: Fay Weldon's Wicked Fictions
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Page 197
production. We can't be frightened of the future, I say: it's the past that destroys us.
Sometimes I think there is simply a body of human suffering in the worldemotional sufferingand the sum of it never alters: it just gets handed round from this group to that. I can see it is certainly the women's turn to do the handing around, but it is not something to be relished.
The men of New York, in a recent poll, announced themselves almost to a man as antifeminist, but went on to say they all believed in equal pay, equal parenting, equal rights, and obligations to domestic life. Feminism is alive and well and living in our hearts, if you ask me, and taken as a matter of course in most contemporary novels: the only thing wrong with it is the word itself, which continues to frighten: as if it were a big black stamping feminist boot on the fragile plant that is man's love for woman, woman's love for man. I recently did an English version of Ibsen's
A Doll's House,
and those concluding words still ring true. One day, one day, Nora said to Torvald, Torvald to Nora, "the miracle will happen. You and I, wife and husband, woman and man, will talk and work and love on equal terms."
And I still believe in that miracle. I would add, I believe they could still do so in a perfect society: that if we seize the political and social energy, the desire for change, that now convulses the whole world, we could build ourselves a utopia, but that's another matter.
 
Page 198
Of Birth and Fiction
Fay Weldon
New York, April 2, 1990
I looked through my itinerary last Saturday as I sat on the early train. I board it at 7:50 in the morning: it leaves from a small station in the middle of a field in greenest, darkest Somerset, in England, where crows caw and buds burgeon. We have had a very early spring in England. It doesn't make us grateful: we just worry about the ozone layer. I was on my way to Heath-row, from whence Los Angeles, San Francisco, Minneapolis, Chicago, and, finally, thankfully, here. And I observed that morning that I was to speak at the New York Public Library this evening, and I saw moreover the subject was to be "Of Birth and Fiction."
Now what possessed me, I thought. What did I mean? What bizarre procreative or literary process did I have in mind? It is true that women in my novels often give birth, as do women in real life. It is true they often have children, not necessarily very nice children: as often just occasionally happens in real lifeat which point mothers get blamed.
But then Mothers always get blamed, even more in real life than in fiction. Mothers get blamed, I notice, for generic male behavior. If husbands behave badly around the house it is because their mothers failed to teach them better, not because their fathers failed to set a proper example. "I blame his mother...." But these are the nineties: I understand, just four months into the new decade, that it's to be all about loving and understanding one another. So I will stop blaming other people for blaming mothers. We are all to hold hands, nation with nation, empire with empire, socialism with capitalism, generation with generation, writers with readers, men with women. We have no alternative. War and sex have both become dangerous. We must learn to like one another. So I will say nothing
 
Page 199
bad about men. We must not, in the nineties, blame others, whom we must see as persons first and of a certain gender second, for being the nationality, the race, the creed, or the sex they are. We must not drop bombs on anyone, or utter foul words about anyone: in fact we must improve ourselves and high time too.
Of Birth and Fiction.
Was I talking about the creative instinct? I used to be struck, when speaking to American women, with how they assumed that the having of babies and the writing of poetry, or fiction, the painting of pictures, did not go together. That you could not have babies and art too. Not just because of the time, energy, and money spent on rearing children, but for some other, vaguely mystical, reason. There was simply not enough creativity, talent, to go round: if what there was went into the making of babies then there would be none left to write books, paint pictures, nail the vision, fix the inspiration on to the page, the canvas, the piano, whatever. It seemed a wrongheaded extension of the sop that used to be thrown to women in the old days: women have babies, they used to say, men have art. We all have to create something; any woman can have a baby, the feeling was: takes a man, a genius, to make something where there was nothing there before, something that will illuminate our lives. Babies add to life: they just make more of it: that's the women's part. The genius, the male genius, explains it. How old-fashioned that seems now. Men are fathers too. There's no avoiding it. Babies can grow
in vitro,
outside wombs. You need an egg, some sperm, a nice warm broth, and lo, life begins! A whole new personality; a dash of this, a dollop of that, emerges. Grandma's eyes, Uncle Jim's temper, Daddy's teeth. Birth isn't what it was. Mothers provide wombs, it's true, wherein a fetus of much-disputed legal ownership can grow: but the feeling still is, well, anyone could do it. Mothers "bond"but even that has clinical, dismissive overtones. Even a baby duckling bonds with the mother, waddles after it: nothing specialjust instinct. The only comfort I can find in this changing situationand why is it that somehow situations never seem to change in the female's favor?is that to say men have art and women have babies now seems an impossible thing to say.
I always found the opposite was true. I have four children. Sometimes, looking back on this irrational enterprise, I think I had them because I found I wrote best just before and after their births. Was this true, or self-delusion? My mother, also a novelist, was prescribed estrogen when she was seventy-five and at once started writing again with great gusto. "Estrogen," she said. "That's all it is. Novels are to do with estrogen." Perhaps she had me for this very reason.
 
Page 200
Of Birth and Fiction ... I thought, since I was on my way to New York, that I would ask Gina Barreca what I meant. She is a professor of literature at UConn: she is my deconstructionalyst. Writers have them, nowadays, as other people have analysts. Gina referred me to a short biographical sketch I once wrote on the subject of Rebecca West, one of our great writers in the first half of this century. Rebecca West had a baby, out of wedlock, by H. G. Wells. Gina said that here I had permanently and properly linked the bringing to birth of fiction with the bringing to birth of a childand a very literary child at thatAnthony West. ''Compose yourself," I said, addressing this woman writer who was in the pangs of giving birth. That, said Gina, is what writers do, they compose themselves; other people just narrate themselves. Listen:
Rebecca, there is life the other side of love. If only you could hear me. Perhaps you can? Perhaps through doubt, fear and pain comes a flickering sense of exultation, of future; the intimation that fate has you marked: that its plans are already made, unalterable. For this is the sense the future must have of the past, and it is this very awareness I am trying to broadcast back to you.
It is all going to be all right
. Your lungs will stand it, you won't tear apart, the pain will pass, and be forgotten. The shame will be faced and conquered. The baby is lovely, healthy, robust, will even grow up to be a writer. As is his father. As are you.
Breathe deeply. Compose yourself. You are not in as difficult a position as many of your contemporaries. You are not helpless. You can (just) earn your own living, by writing. Your lover's wife, seen by a self-deluding posterity (and indeed by her husband, once she is dead) as a saint, for putting up with his infidelities and being so accommodating, even kind and chatty, to his lady friends, has no such option. She is complaisant because she has to be, she has no alternative: she does not
earn
. And so what if her husband wrongs her? Women in your day cannot divorce men for adultery: though men can divorce women for the offense. The double standard is enshrined in law. For your information, the law is presently to change and wives will be permitted to take offense at infidelity, and start their own divorce proceedings. And then later changes will bring us up to our present, when human sexual behavior is accepted with a shrug and a sigh; and matrimonial blame, for good or bad, no longer allocated by the courts. This one guiltythat one innocent. But the lot of the divorced and dependent wife is still not happy, in my day as in yours. Socially isolated, reduced in circumstances, relying for her comfort and security on the strength of a husband's guiltexcept for the grudging assistance of an unwilling state. What has changed?
And back there at the beginning of the century, you, the mistress, unmarried and young, and she, the wife, married and in her middle years, both live in a milieu particularly distressing for women. You have no moral power. The trouble is that in the artistic, literary, and intellectual circles in which you move, men have discovered Free Love, the Life Force, as the way forward to the future. Free Love for men, that is, just not for wives, daughters, and sweethearts. Men look for, and claim, Life Mates, but marry pretty housewives, as usual. What's

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