Fay Weldon's Wicked Fictions (62 page)

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Authors: Regina Barreca

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BOOK: Fay Weldon's Wicked Fictions
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The New Women! I could barely recognise them as being of the same sex as myself, their buttocks arrogant in tight jeans, opening inviting, breasts falling free and shameless and feeling no apparent obligation to smile, look pleas-
 
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ant or keep their voices low. And how they live! Just look at them to know how! If a man doesn't bring them to orgasm, they look for another who does. If by mistake they fall pregnant, they abort by vacuum aspiration. If they don't like the food, they push the plate away. If the job doesn't suit them, they hand in their notice. They are satiated by everything, hungry for nothing. They are what I wanted to be; they are what I worked for them to be: and now I see them, I hate them. They have found their own solution to the three-fold painone I never thought of. They do not try, as we did, to understand it and get the better of it. They simply wipe out the pain by doing away with its three centresthe heart, the soul and the mind. Brilliant! Heartless, soulless, mindlessfree!
Listen, I have had good times. It is only on bad days that I regret the past and hate the young. I helped to change the world. I made life what it is for those lovely, lively, trampling girls on the bus.
Look at me, I said to you. Look at me, Praxis Duveen. Better for me to look at myself, to search out the truth, and the root of my pain, and yours, and try to determine, even now, whether it comes from inside or from outside, whether we are born with it, or have it foisted upon us. Before my writing hand seizes up, my elbow rots, my toe falls off.
In the meantime, sisters, I absolve you from your neglect of me. You do what you can. So will I.
These days the new women, or so I hope, take a slightly more moderate line. We can see there may occasionally be room for personal self-improvement: we may have to work upon ourselves as well as on the world: accept that neurosis does exist, that it is helpful to examine our motives and obsessions, to try to distinguish between rightful anger and paranoia and so forth. Some of us manage better than others. I have a friend who writes stage plays about the awful behavior of men in general and middle-aged middle-class men in particular. When middle-aged middle-class theater critics berate her plays, she is indignant and astonished. She's like a woman who, divorcing her husband, expects her husband to agree that she is right to divorce him and is quite upset when he doesn't. But he's behaving so selfishly, she complains: so mean, so bad-tempered! Of course he is, you reply. That's why you divorced him: so why the surprise? But she doesn't see it. Sexism in reverse is flying high, I fear. I don't feel sorry for men on this accountthey own the theaters, the printing presses, and the TV studiosbut sometimes I do feel a little guilty.
In the late seventies I remember going to a women's meeting in London on "New Definitions of Women." I went with Beryl Bainbridge. Someone from the floor (and there'd already been a heated discussion: why were we on the platform, they on the floor? Quite right, we said, we'll change places, but they wouldn't) someone from the floor said, "How are we to define woman in the light of our new self-knowledge?" and Beryl said,
 
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"Why, women are people who have babies," and I had to practically rush her out of the building in a plain wrapper, so great was the outrage. And then I wrote a novel called
Puffball,
which was a kind of gynecological textbook as well as a novel, in which I suggested women were at the mercy of their hormones, their instincts, and became almost as suspect for my views as Beryl Bainbridge was for hers. "Liffey," I wroteshe being my heroine"Liffey, like most other women, never cared to think too much about what was going on inside her body. She regarded the inner, pounding, pulsating Liffey with distaste, seeing it as something formless and messy and uncontrollable, better unacknowledged. She would rather think about and identify with the outer Liffey. Pale and pretty and nice."
Later, I'm pleased to say, the world caught up with me. Feminists began to take up the Mother Goddess, earth magic; fecundity became an okay word. To be part of nature, nearer to nature, to hear the rhythms of the seasonsand so forth. I remain pretty skeptical about this part of it. I have always seen "nature" as inimical to women; nature kills you. Left to her own instinctive devices, a woman has babies, more and more babies, and is dead by thirty. And as Marie Stopes pointed outin a world without medicine, our way of supervising naturewith every pregnancy your chances of dying from it double.
And with the having of babies, what's more, comes helplessness. Liffey, in her book, loses her money, through sheer little-girl inattention, and begins to understand that
She was not, as she had thought, a free spirit, and nor was he: that they were bound together by necessity. That he could come and go as he pleased; love her, leave her as he pleased: hand over as much or as little of his earnings as he pleased; and that domestic power is to do with economics. And that Richard, by virtue of being powerful, being also good, would no doubt look after her and her child, and not insist upon doing so solely upon his terms. But he could and he might: so Liffey had better behave, charm, lure, love and render herself necessary by means of the sexual and caring comforts she provided.
Wash socks, iron shirts. Love.
And perhaps on the whole it is not so terrible a fate to wash socks, iron shirts, love. Though I do say to women nowwith a clear eye on the statistics of our societyif you have a baby the bottom line is this: you must be prepared to raise it single-handed and support it single-handed. Anything else is an optional extra, a bonus.
I don't think I could write
Puffball
now. The world moves on. Magic and childbirth are not what they were. My latest novel,
The Cloning of Joanna May,
is about a woman who manages to be not just in two places at once, like Superwoman, but fivethanks to the male technology of re-

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