Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General, #Fantasy fiction, #Xanth (Imaginary place), #Xanth (Imaginary place) - Fiction
odor of indigestion issued from him.
"Help, I'm genuinely aging!" he
cried.
"That's because you ate the mint," Cathryn informed him.
"Now you will
age rapidly into stinking extinction, unless you do whatever the
Man-Age-Mint plant demands."
"What does it demand?" the bean counter asked.
"Count its mints," she said.
" But I'm a bean counter.
I don't count mints."
"Too bad.
I hope you fade out before your odor of spoiled beans
permeates the entire neighborhood."
"I suppose I could count some mints," he said dolefully.
"One, two,
buckle my shoe; three, four.
.
."
Then, while the counter was distracted, they squeezed by it and out to
decent terrain.
They had gotten back through the comic strip without
quite going crazy.
"Some day I'm going to gather a posse and stamp out every pun in
existence," Cathryn muttered.
They went to the section where they had first met the centaur.
It was
interesting to see her age as she walked, progressing from foal to
gangly juvenile to early filly and finally to fully flushed young
female.
Her mass changed, but didn't seem to affect her directly; she
evidently didn't have to eat to add weight, any more than she had had to
eliminate to lose it.
He knew that he and Imbri were aging the same
amount in years, but it didn't make as much difference to them.
Then Cathryn stopped.
"Are we ready for the next adventure?"
she inquired.
When there was no objection, she lifted the dear horn and
blew on it.
There was no sound.
Yet the centaur stood as if enraptured.
"Marvelous!" she breathed.
"But it didn't work," Forrest protested.
She didn't even waste a glance on him.
"You forget that only the one
who blows it can hear it.
The echo is from that direction." She pointed
due east.
They set off east.
That was a relief, because it was open range and
ordinary trees as far as the eye could see; no pun strip to struggle
through.
But Cathryn was getting young again.
That was mischief of another
nature.
Suppose her True Love were beyond her range?
That would make
him truly inaccessible.
And that was what happened.
The centaur grew smaller than either of
them, and had to pause.
"This is near the limit of my range," she said.
"I can go farther, but I won't be able to talk, because I didn't learn
until I was two.
You will have to go on without me."
"But we can't hear the echo," Forrest protested.
"You won't have to.
Just continue in a straight line, and you will
encounter him.
He hasn't moved in some time, so he may be sleeping.
Bring him here, and your service will be complete.
I'll wait."
Forrest exchanged a look with Imbri, but since it was the same look,
neither gained anything from it.
So they walked forward, following the
direction.
" Suppose the limit of his range is beyond hers?" Forrest asked Imbri
when they were beyond the hearing of the centaur.
"So that they can
never meet?"
"I don't think the dear horn works that way," she said.
"The ideal
'True Love has to be one you can be with.
I hope."
He hoped that was true.
But things were so odd here on Ptero that he
lacked confidence.
They saw an odd region to the south.
It was somewhat foggy, but they
could see a number of figures standing there, like statues.
"Do you
suppose her True Love could be there?" Imbri asked.
"It's not the right direction.
But we could ask." He used a hoof to
mark a line pointing the right direction, so they could resume travel
without going astray, then walked south.
They entered the fog somewhat
warily, but it seemed to be harmless.
Forrest approached a glowing young woman.
"May we talk to you?" he
asked her.
"Sure," she replied.
"That's what we're here for."
"All the people are here to be talked to?" Imbri asked.
"Yes.
This is a section of limbo.
We are the characters who aren't
even might-he's.
I'm Astride"
"But what kind of existence do you have, then?"
"A very feeble kind," the woman said sadly.
"We all long to achieve
regular might-be status, but we can't until someone takes an interest in
us and recognizes our talents."
Imbri exchanged half a look with Forrest.
Characters who weren't even
might-he's?
"If we talk to you and identify your talent, will you become a
might-be?" Forrest asked.
"Yes!
Please do that.
I would do anything to become might-bereal.
Do
you need a girlfriend?
I'm rather metallic, but I can be very soft when
I want to be, in the manner of my mother's side of the family."
"I don't need a girlfriend.
I'm a faun.
I just chase nymphs.
No
relationships last longer than a day, and most are merely minutes.
But
I'll be glad to help you.
How do I recognize your talent?"
"You just talk with me and ask me questions until you are able to figure
it out.
I can't tell you, because I don't know it, but I can tell you
anything else about me."
"How can you know about yourself, if you aren't yet real, or even
theoretical?"
"Well, I haven't done anything, of course, because limbo is the place of
nothing doing.
But every person has an origin, so I have a family
history.
I can't tell you that on my own, but will do so if you ask."
That seemed straightforward, or at least not too far angled.
"Who is
your father?"
"Esk Ogre.
His father is Smash Ogre, and his mother is Tandy Nymph."
"Oh, you have some nymphly ancestry," Forrest said, becoming more
interested.
"Yes.
About a quarter.
So I'm sure I could run and scream in the
nymphly way, and do what nymphs do, if you are interested."
Forrest was interested.
"Can you kick your feet cutely, and fling your
hair about?" For these were specialties of nymphs, and such actions
really delighted fauns.
"I'm sure I can.
How's this?" She flung her hair so violently that her
feet left the ground, and she kicked her bare legs in a fetching manner.
"Well, perhaps-" But then he saw Imbri frowning, and realized that he
was drifting from business.
He was just trying to find out about this
region, in case it held a clue to the whereabouts of Cathryn's True
Love.
"Who is your mother?"
"Bria Brassie.
That's where I inherit my metallic nature from. She's
made wholly of brass, but I'm only half brass.
So I can become halfway
hard, but that's not my talent.
I'm also fairly strong, from my ogre
heritage, and not too bright."
Something connected.
A bulb flashed over Forrest's head, exactly as in
Xanth proper.
"I think you're mistaken, Astrid.
You are bright. Your
talent must be shining."
"Oh!" she cried, suddenly glowing more brightly.
"Yes that's it!
I know it now.
Oh, thank you, faun." She grabbed him and kissed him,
and she was right: she was surprisingly soft beneath her coppery sheen.
"I'm halfway real now!"
"You're welcome," Forrest said.
"Oh, I think I'll kiss you again, and maybe even-"
"There is no need," Imbri said quickly.
Actually Forrest wouldn't have minded, as he hadn't celebrated with a
nymph since his arrival oil Ptero.
But of course Imbri was right: they
had to get on with their business.
So Astrid ran off to find her proper territory.
Forrest and Imbri
returned to the line he had drawn in the dirt, to resume their quest, as
there didn't seem to be much help in limbo.
How could the folk there
know about Cathryn's True Love, when they had no experience as
might-he's?
Before long they came to a small forest of normal pines.
It would have
been better to avoid them, but then they would have lost their
direction, so they went straight.
Tears ran down their cheeks as they
brushed by the trunks of the sad trees.
Then they entered a gladeand
there was a juvenile centaur.
"Young," Imbri whispered.
"Maybe eight years old.
So he can go forward
and overlap Cathryn's range.
Eight years isn't too much of an age
difference."
"Yes.
The dear horn knew what it was doing." But then he had a bad
thought.
"If this is the one."
"It has to be.
We wouldn't have encountered him otherwise. There's
always reason for folk to meet, in Ptero."
That did seem to be the case.
So they approached the centaur.
He was
standing within a circle of fourteen crosses set upright on the ground.
He looked out at them.
"Hey, want to play crosses?" he asked.