Fated (32 page)

“I
made it,” I announced when she picked up. “I’m at the hotel right now.”

“Great!
We’re meeting at Dos Caminos on 3
^rd
and 50
^th
at seven
o’clock. Does that work for you?”

I
glanced at the clock. It was already five, but that gave me plenty of time to
decompress and get ready since the restaurant wasn’t far from my hotel.

“That’s
fine,” I replied. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me
too!” Macie chirped enthusiastically. “And you’re going to love the other
bridesmaids.”

I lay
down on the bed after the phone call, intending to just rest for a few minutes
before unpacking and freshening up. My eyes fluttered shut, and the next thing
I knew, I was waking up groggily with no idea what time it was. My eyes flew
open when I looked at the bedside clock and saw that it was almost six-thirty.
I jumped out of bed and rushed to change my clothes and reapply my makeup so I
wouldn’t be late.

Luckily,
the attendant at the hotel was able to hail me a cab immediately, and I arrived
at the restaurant right on time. It was bustling since it was a Friday night,
and everyone seemed to be in a festive mood in celebration of the impending
weekend. I was the last one in our party to arrive and the hostess guided me to
the table.

Macie
jumped up when she saw me, enveloping me in a big hug.

“It’s
so good to see you!” she exclaimed with a broad smile. “Thanks so much for
flying out here.”

“Of
course,” I said with a genuine smile. Macie and I had gotten closer in the past
couple of months since our initial phone call after I moved back to Chicago. I
had been more proactive in taking the initiative to call her, and actually
answered her questions instead of brushing them aside when she asked me about
what was happening in my life. I still found it necessary to lie to her about
Caden, although I had sort of come clean about my job. I had told her the
account executive position hadn’t worked out, and I was back to temping. I had
felt like a jerk when she had gotten upset on my behalf, but I promised myself
that I would tell her the truth from now on.

Macie
turned back to the table. Three other women were looking back at me with
interest. “Lauren, this is Hillary, Maya and Jessica.”

The
women smiled and chimed in with their greetings. Hillary was a stunning brunette
who looked as polished as she was beautiful. She was Macie’s best friend and
maid of honor. I had heard a lot about her over the years, but I had never
actually met her. She was an executive at an international electronics company
based in Japan, so she spent a lot of her time traveling. It was hard not to be
a little intimidated by her.

Maya
was the total opposite of Hillary, looking more Mother Earth than anything
else. Her kind brown eyes made me warm up to her immediately, and her smile was
gentle as she welcomed me.

Jessica
was a mix between the two, beautiful with intelligent eyes that didn’t seem to
miss a thing, but with a friendly smile. She was Asian with long, straight
black hair that made me more than a little envious since I had battled curls my
entire life.

I
sat down, feeling a little awkward. They all lived in the city so they were
already friends. I tried to banish the feeling of being the odd man out.

“We
just ordered a round of margaritas,” Macie said. “I ordered one for you too,
since I doubt you’ve ever been late in your life.”

“You’d
be surprised,” I said with a wry smile. “I fell asleep and almost didn’t make
it on time.”

Macie
made a sound of mock horror and turned to the other women. “You can usually set
a watch with Lauren’s punctuality. She must be slipping.”

“Maybe
you’re rubbing off on her. You’re always late,” Hillary said, rolling her eyes.
She turned to me and spoke conspiratorially. “We’ll probably have to make sure
she’s not late for her wedding.”

Despite
my first impression of Hillary, she was open and friendly and I could see why
she was Macie’s best friend. I gave a small laugh at her comment.

“I
just hope that I get paired with Jason for the wedding party,” Jessica said as
she waggled her eyebrows. “I think it’s time I finally hit that.”

“Ew!”
Macie shrieked. “He’s my
brother
!”

Jessica
shrugged. “So? He’s not
my
brother. I can have dirty thoughts about him if I want.”

I
couldn’t help laughing at Macie’s horrified expression. Jason was three years
younger than Macie and I had met him a few times, although I hadn’t seen him in
years. He had always been a cute kid, but that’s strictly what I had thought of
him as…a kid.

Maya
nodded in agreement at Jessica’s comment. “You can’t see it, but Jason’s hot.”

Macie
clapped her hands over her ears. “I can
not
be listening to this. You guys are
pedophiles.”

Hillary
burst out laughing. “Macie, he’s twenty-three years old. I think he’s
considered of age by now.”

“I haven’t
seen Jason in forever,” I interjected, curiosity getting the better of me. “Do
you have a picture of him?”

For
some reason, the others seemed to find this hilariously funny and they laughed
like crazy. Even Macie gave me a rueful grin.

“I’m
not in the habit of carrying around my brother’s picture,” she said. “You can
see for yourself tomorrow at the engagement party.”

The
conversation was paused as the waitress came by with our margaritas and took
our order. The prickly pear margarita was so good that it was dangerously easy
to suck down quickly.

“You
guys can have Jason,” Hillary said when the waitress left, her eyes gleaming.
“I’ll take Caden.”

My
stomach dropped at her words. Hillary was exactly the type I thought Caden
would go for. Gorgeous, leggy and sexy without being slutty. Suddenly, I didn’t
like her so much anymore.

I
forced my expression to stay impassive because I was acutely aware of Macie
watching me. I was beginning to suspect that she didn’t believe my lies about
nothing happening between me and Caden. She had probably just been respecting
my privacy by not pushing the issue.

“The
difference between Caden and Jason is like the difference between a Lear jet
and a tricycle,” Jessica said. “You’re just along for the ride with the Lear
jet, and you hope and pray that you can handle wherever it takes you. But with
the tricycle, you can take a hands-on approach and control the steering.”

Macie
blinked. “Did you just call my brother a tricycle?”

Jessica
grinned. “I’m willing to help him take off the training wheels.”

There
was a collective groan and half-hearted laughs at Jessica’s bad joke. Maya
looked at Hillary askance when we had settled down.

“I’m
not sure you can handle Caden.” Maya turned to Macie. “Doesn’t he have a love
‘em and leave ‘em attitude?”

Macie
glanced at me before replying. “Caden is a great guy. He just needs the right
woman who understands him. And he’s not some jerk that uses women. I don’t
really know how his relationships work, but I
do
know that he’s honest with them.”

I
pressed my lips together, feeling like I was under the microscope although no
one was watching my reaction besides Macie.

“I’m
not saying I want to be the mother of his children or anything.” Hillary
flipped her hair back disdainfully. “I don’t have time for that either. He’s
gorgeous and practically drips sexual prowess. Just look at his latest
collection. I bet he knows how to get a woman off like no other.”

Hillary
was perfect for him. They both wanted the same thing–sex with no strings
attached. But how soon would she become like Lissa and Michelle? Or me?
Desperate to catch a man who didn’t want to be caught. I pushed the dismal
thought aside.

Caden
wasn’t mentioned again and the rest of dinner went by pleasantly, and I was
surprised that I had such a good time. There was a lot of wedding planning to
go over, although much of it was interspersed with gossip, and I joined in on
the conversation even though I didn’t know most of the people they were talking
about. I was slightly surprised that they were all single, except for Macie of
course, and Maya blamed it on everyone in New York being consumed by their
careers. Three margaritas had given me a pleasant buzz, and the cool night air
when we stepped outside felt good against my flushed cheeks.

“I’ll
see you tomorrow at the party,” Macie said as she gave me a quick hug before I
got into the cab. She hesitated, and then spoke again in a rush, as if she was
afraid she’d lose her nerve. “You don’t have to tell me anything, but I just
thought you should know that Caden’s been miserable and I have a feeling you
know why. I meant what I said earlier. Caden’s a good person. He just needs
someone to convince him of that.”

I
gave her a small wistful smile that was tinged with sadness. My voice was soft
as I told her more than I ever thought I would. “I’m not that person, Macie. I
tried to be, and for one moment I thought I could be, but I’m not.”

“Are
you in love with him?”

Her
question took me by surprise. I hadn’t expected her to ask me outright and I
searched for an answer. I had promised myself I would tell her the truth from
now on, but I struggled with what the truth was myself.

“I
thought I was,” I finally admitted. “But I realized that I can’t love someone who
won’t let me. I’m not willing to sacrifice my own happiness to try and make
someone else happy.”

Macie
looked disappointed but she nodded. She hugged me again, this time much more
fiercely, and gave me a small smile when we pulled apart. “I hope you find
someone who’ll make you as happy as Brian makes me.”

The
cab driver cleared his throat, clearly impatient that we were holding up the
cab as I stood by the open door without getting in. After saying goodbye again,
I slid into the backseat and directed the cabbie to my hotel.

As
the cab maneuvered through the Friday night traffic, I thought about Macie’s
words. She had found Brian and they were prepared to face the world together,
to share their hopes and dreams, to weather the failures and celebrate their
successes.

To
Macie, it was a God given right and an inevitability that everyone would find
their other half. In my heart, I knew that only the lucky found that sort of
happiness. And I had always run short on luck.

Chapter Twenty-Five

I had
Saturday morning and all of the afternoon to myself since Macie’s party didn’t
start until seven o’clock. I spent most of the day window shopping and then
treated myself to a leisurely brunch at Mesa Grill.

Spending
most of the day walking tired me out so I went back to the hotel to take a nap
before the party. Despite my fatigue, I was restless and couldn’t do much
besides toss and turn in bed. It was impossible to stop thinking about Caden
knowing that I was in the same city as him. I had kept thinking that I would
bump into him, and my pulse had quickened every time a tall, dark-haired man
crossed my path, but in a city with well over a million people, it was a
far-fetched idea.

I
told myself that I would be polite and civil to Caden when I saw him tonight.
The last thing I wanted to do was cause any trouble at an occasion celebrating
Macie’s impending nuptials. Besides, after the party I would never see him
again except for the wedding, and that was a long way off. As long as I got
through tonight unscathed, I would be okay. I just had to put him out of my
mind.

Nevertheless,
I dressed with care. My blue sheath was form-fitting with a low bodice that
gave just a hint of cleavage. I knew the cut was flattering and that the color
deepened the blue of my eyes. It was a dress I would have never considered
pre-Caden, but I had changed a lot since then.

I
wrestled with my curls, trying to keep them somewhat tamed even though I was
wearing my hair loose. A part of me wanted Caden to regret ever letting me go when
he saw me, and I knew I should be concerned that I was considering his reaction
as I dressed.

After
applying my makeup and checking my appearance one last time in the mirror, I
went down to the lobby to catch a cab.

“I’m
going to Craft on 19
^th
between Broadway and Park,” I told the cab
driver as I sat back in the seat. Macie had rented out a private room at a
restaurant in the Flatiron district, and the cabbie had to fight the Saturday
night traffic on the clogged streets.

When
I finally arrived, I was ushered into a separate entrance when I announced I
was there for the engagement party. The private dining room was already
bustling when I stepped inside, and I immediately scanned the room, feeling a
mixture of relief and disappointment when I didn’t see Caden’s dark head
amongst the crowd.

The
room was decorated in warm, rich tones and had an open kitchen and bar, looking
more like a mini restaurant than a party room. Macie caught sight of me and
rushed over to greet me, giving me a quick hug. She was practically glowing,
her eyes bright and her expression joyful, as she was surrounded by friends and
family who had gathered for the sole purpose of celebrating this momentous step
in her life. I couldn’t help thinking again that I was lucky to be considered
part of that circle.