Fantasy Attraction (Hidden Secrets) (11 page)

CHAPTER TEN

~CARSON~

Pacing back and forth in my living room, I couldn’t figure out what the hell just happened.  How had things been so good for one second and the next everything
is falling apart around me?  I thought I had finally gotten through to her.  For a moment, I thought that I was going to have her with me to finally discover what this is that is going on between us, but that didn’t happen.  Why didn’t it happen?  Because Big Red showed up!

“FUCK!” I screamed as I ran my hands through my hair.

Everything in me wanted to go back to her place and make her listen to me.  That one small kiss, I felt it…I felt what I knew was there even before meeting her.  She had to have felt it too.  How could she not?  I needed to work some of this frustration off.  It was literally eating me alive right now. 

“Gym time.”

I moved down to my home gym and got into my workout shorts.  Grabbing a towel off my towel rack as I walked by, I made my way to the treadmill.  Setting it, I began at a walk to slowly increase over time.  My mind starts to go back to the kiss.

It was a risk to kiss her, but frankly
, I couldn’t stop myself.  Just touching her hands and arms, I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. 

If her skin was this soft, I bet her lips were perfection.

The minute my lips touched her, I knew in an instant that what I felt for her was not because of the unknown.  If someone was to ask me, what my most memorable moment in my life was right now, I think my answer would surprise them.  It wasn’t being stabbed, my sister’s shocking revelation, the trial, awards during my career… It wasn’t any of that.  It was that few seconds my lips touched hers and that feeling that came over me in those few seconds.  I will never forget that moment for as long as I live.

The treadmill was now at a steady run as I pictured her face when she was looking over my shoulder.  I panicked at first because she looked like she was in physical pain.  When I turned and saw her climbing out of my truck, I was dumbstruck.  She was getting out of my truck. How the hell was that possible?  Then I remembered that I was so shocked to see
Angel walk up that I flew out of my truck not taking a moment to lock it after getting out.  In my head, getting to Angel was more important than anything at that moment.

Big Red must have climbed in while I was talking to
Angel and decided to come out when it was convenient, well convenient for her anyway.  That had to be how it happened.  A laugh escapes me when I think about the irony of the situation.  I have two women in my life; one I don’t want anywhere near me and the other…the other makes me happy with just her voice. 

When I saw the pain cross her face, I knew that getting her to trust me now was going to be hard.  Even though I haven’t done anything wrong, I still needed to prove to her she can trust me.

“How can I believe you?  She just climbed out of your damn truck!” She yelled at me.

It was almost a laughable kind of situation, if it wasn’t for the fact that I stood there staring at her beautiful eyes as they welled with tears.  Tears that were inadvertently caused by me. When she ran away, I followed her. I kept my distance.  It wasn’t a stalker kind of following, but more I just wanted to make sure she got home safely.

When she ran into the park, I knew she passed up her place because she thought I might follow her.  She ran to this breathtaking view and I sat there as she broke down right in front of me.  I wanted to run to her and hold her while she cried.  I wanted to hold her and take all her pain away.  Then she raised her head and started talking.

“I’m trying so hard. I really am.  I’m trying to be and live the way you wanted for me, but I can’t.  After all the years of keep
ing people away, I’m hurt again and he hasn’t even been around long.  My heart hurts and my head is spinning.  I’m so lost without you. You were all I had and you left me…”

My anger started to boil because as she was talking, I thought she was talking about someone who she trusted and loved and they hurt her.  But when she continued and I heard what she said next, pain like I have never felt pour
ed through me. 

“You left me with her!  Daddy
… please help me.”

She lost her dad?  My heart broke for her.  I don’t know where I’d be without my father and if I were to be honest, I don’t want to know either.  She was hurting and I was hurting her more.  Quietly I followed her as she walked back in the direction of the bar and I assume her home.
 

When she walked in her place, I felt a sense of relief and longing at once.  This woman was really doing a number on me.  I walked back to the bar and my truck.  Unfortunately for me, when I arrived back at my truck she was still there waiting.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

“Where have you been, baby?  I’ve been worried sick.” She said as she moved over toward me and went to throw her arms around me.

Knocking her arms away, I just stared at her.  There honestly wasn’t anything else I could say to this woman.  She wasn’t getting the picture being nice, so it was time to be brutal.  I started to walk around her and she reached for me again.

“Stay away from me!  Leave me the fuck alone!”  I hissed before getting in my truck and driving off.

The treadmill stopped and the only reason I realized it was because I tripped as I still tried to run on a non moving treadmill.  I got off and walked over to the weights.  As I lifted, I tried to figure out a way to get through to her; to get her back with me and in my arms where she belonged.

I have never begged and pleaded with a girl before.  I’ve never had to, but with
Angel…everything was different.  After about an hour and half in the gym and only accomplishing to amp myself up more, I grabbed the phone and called Jason.  Praying like hell that he had some information for me.

“No man nothing yet.  This stuff takes time. Without a name or even an address…” I cut him off.

“I have an address.”  I said, giving him the address to my girl’s place.

“How’d you get this, but still don’t know her name?”

So I explained to him the whole situation today.  I told him everything from the texts, to seeing her, giving her a small kiss, evil red showing up, and following her.  He didn’t seem to judge me for my actions.  I think it’s because he would have done the same for my sister if it came down to it.

“It seems like to me, Curry, that we need to figure out who this Big Red is and not who your girl is.  As long as she is in the picture, you won’t have your girl.” My sister said into the phone.

“You’re right.  You can put off on my Angel and find out who this devil is.  Thank guys.”

“Don’t forget about the luncheon in two days.  You have to be there because you are part of the committee.”

“Yes Kayla, I know.  Even though I don’t really feel like it, I will be there for you.  You know that.  Love you KK.  I will talk to you soon.”

I headed off to the shower.  Standing in there for a while, letting the water relax my tense muscles, it was just as I was gett
ing out that heard my phone ping.  I walked out to my room and grabbed my phone.  Walking over to my dresser to get on a pair of boxers, when I stopped realizing who sent the text.

Angel
:  I know you followed me home.  Thank you, but please don’t take that as an invitation that you can come here whenever you want.

Me
:  I would never do that, but at the same time I couldn’t risk something happening to you.

Angel
:  Why? Do you need to have two girls swooning in order to complete each day?

Ouch! That was harsh, but I guess in her shoes I’d think the same thing if the girl kept showing up when we were together.
Two out of two times would be enough for me to know.

Me
:  I know that is what it seems like, but it is only you in my life, well I want in my life.

Angel
:  I’m not getting into this right now.  I just wanted to say thank you.  Good night.

Me
:  Good night my Angel.

Sitting my phone down on the top of my dresser, I pulled out some shorts and slipped them on.  It was only ten and I was restless, but I knew I needed some sleep before I lost my mind.  As I laid my head on my pillow and closed my eyes, my thoughts were only of her. Finally, I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

The next two days went by in a flash.  I wasn’t sure where they went.  The days were just a blur of training and staring at my phone willing it to ring and her to be at the end of it.  I trained long and hard then came home and worked out more.  It was the only way I found I was able to fall asleep at night.  I worked myself to the point of exhaustion before finally falling on my bed to pass out. 

Today was the luncheon.  I really didn’t want to go, but I promised my sister.  I didn’t want to schmooze people today, but it is a big deal for the foundation and my sister.  So here I go, to find the necessaries for my sister’s cause.  Today I will meet the other person on her board.  Kayla said she’s a good friend and has a bad past as well.  Honestly, I will do anything for my sister, so even though my mind is elsewhere
, I will do my best at smiling and greeting people that merely want to be there for the exposure.

Dressed and out the door in ten minutes.  My hair needs cut, but I don’t care right now.  As I walk into the luncheon held at my sister’s clinic, I looked for my sister.  Spotting her on the other side of the room, I head straight over to her.

“Hey,” I said, giving her a hug.

“Hey,” she said back with a smile.

“Now what is the plan for today?”

“Get as much exposure for the foundation as possible and if you’re really good
, get donations.”

“On it boss!” I mock saluted.

She laughed.  “Stop it,” playfully smacking my arm.

When I looked up, my nightmares met my eyes.  I glared at her.  Jason and Kayla looked in the direction I was glaring.

“Hi, I’m Wendi Shapiro.  I’m Carson’s girlfriend.” She said with a wide smile.

“You are not!” I said a little louder than I anticipated.

“Oh now honey…” She said as she walked over to my side.

I looked at my sister and Jason.  “This is the chick I was telling you about.”

Jason nodded and I knew he just committed her name to memory. “Back off me or I will call the cops.” I said through gritted teeth.

She laughed.  The woman had the nerve to laugh.  When I looked back at Kayla she had a worried look on her face.  I didn’t know why, but when I turned my head and locked eyes with my
Angel…I knew then why she looked worried.  They knew who she was and now I stand here again with Big Red next to me.

“Fuck,” I whispered.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

~COLLEEN~

It was the last thing I wanted to do, but Kayla has been nothing but supportive with me lately and I needed to be there for her.  So here I am arriving at the luncheon, looking less than my best I’m sure.  It would only be a couple of hours.  Then I can get home and get back into my pajamas and watch meaningless television or read.

What I didn’t expect was to lock eyes with the man that has kept me up at night.  I heard him whisper something, but I couldn’t make out what it was.  He just continued to stare.

“Colleen, this is my brother Carson.  Carson this is Colleen Austin, my coordinator and another board member of the W. A. Foundation.”

I couldn’t say or do anything.  I just continued to stare.

“
Angel…” He breathed.

It was then I noticed the girl standing rather close to him.  My heart
, that had finally started beating again, fell to the floor.

“I can’t believe this.  I’m sorry Kay, but I can’t do this. Excuse me.”

I turned and headed out to the private park for a moment to gather my bearings. 
How did we get here?  How did I let myself get here?
I walked to the edge of the park where a small gathering of trees were.  The more space I could put between Carson and myself the better.  Questions began swimming through my head.

She was there again.  How many more times am I going to be lied to?  Why was he so adamant about telling me he wasn’t with her, but she is everywhere he is?  It just doesn’t make any sense.  Did he enjoy hurting people?  Was he trying to make his girlfriend jealous?  Was she even his girlfriend?

“God this hurts more than it should.”

“Knowing that it hurts gives me the hope that I haven’t lost you yet.” Carson said from behind me, scaring me.

“Son of a biscuits! You scared me!  What are you doing here?”

“I swear to you that is not my girlfriend.  As I said before, I don’t’ even know who she is, but she keeps turning up everywhere I go.”

“Carson, you don’t have to explain anything to me.  I’m just the phone whore you call when your girlfriend won’t give you any, right?”  I hissed.

The next moments were a blur.  It was almost as if there was a slide show playing in front of me, each blip he moved closer and closer.  A growl sounded as if it were right inside my head and then he was standing in front of me.  He cupped my face and stared down into my eyes.

“Never have I ever thought of you that way and I will not have you thinking of yourself that way either.”  He growled before smashing his lips to mine.

It shocked the hell out me.  My hands flew up and grabbed his wrists to try and steady myself.  The feel of him under my hands, even that small a
mount, was indescribable.  Just as much as it scared me, it was turning me on just the same.  Carson ran his tongue across my lips begging for entrance.  My body took over.  My lips parted and his tongue immediately pushed into my welcoming mouth.

Another growl vibrated from his chest into mine when his tongue touched mine. It traveled down my body before settling in my core.  His tongue against mine was driving me wild, insane actually.  My hands had a mind of their own as they traveled up his arms, wrapped around his neck, and pulled him closer.

Damn can he ever kiss!

Carson moved his hands slowly down my body, as if to try and feel as much of me as he could before settling on my hips.  He squeezed them a few times before wrapping around my waist, pulling me
tighter against him.

Where we were and what had happened disappeared.  All that mattered right at this very moment was the feel of Carson’s kiss and his body against mine.  All of a sudden I felt a tree at my back.  His hands moved down to my ass and he squeezed hard, pushing his erection into me.  I moaned.
There was no stopping it.  It all felt too good.  Carson started inching up my skirt.  It wasn’t until his hands made contact with my bare cheeks that I realized what was about to happen and where.  Regrettably, I broke free of his amazing kiss.

“I’m sorry.  I got carried away.”  Carson
said, resting his forehead against mine.

“So did I,” I whispered.

We stayed like that for a moment, neither of us talking.  When I had my breathing back to normal and gathered enough strength to do what my body was screaming at me not to do, I moved away from him. Keeping my back to him, I took a couple deep breaths before finally speaking.

“That shouldn’t have happened. I…” Carson cut me off.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!  Yes, that should have happened.  Damn it Colleen!  I don’t know what else I can do to prove to you that I’m not who you think I am.  What can I do?  Tell me!”  He said, raising his voice and spinning me around to look at him.

The look on his face was the same he had when I ran from him a few days ago.  It was like he was experiencing physical pain.  How could that be when he doesn’t even know me? 
You can’t hurt someone if they don’t know the person at all.  Right?

“Why?  Why do you even want to know?”

“Because I can’t get you off my fucking mind.  You’re there when I go to sleep, when I go through my day, in every fucking thing I do!”  He moved closer to me, reaching up with one hand tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.  “I know there is something big between us.  Please, let’s explore it.  I have not lied to you yet and I don’t intend to.  Ask my sister.  We are investigating this woman, who we just found out today what her name is.  I do not know her, I don’t want to.  I want to know you, be with you.  Please Colleen.”

I stared up into his amazing green eyes.  When I look at them, I don’t see deception.  What I see is truth.  I see honesty.  Something that every other person in my life had made sure I never got.  If there was one thing I need to make sure I do, that is to stop letting my past define who I am.  My dad told me that all the time.  It was time I took his advice.

“I like it better when you call me Angel.” I said with a smile.

He smiled at me before bringing his head down and kissing me again.
When the kiss started to intensify, I had to place my hand on his chest and push slightly to stop it.

“Sorry,” he said with a smile.  “Does this mean that we are dating?  I have to ask because I just don’t know with you.”

I just nod my head.  The moment and his smile caused all formation of words to evaporate.  He gave me one more quick kiss before helping me correct myself.  With a smile firmly on his face, he grabbed my hand and led me back inside.  We walked around for a little bit talking to people.  He got to talking to a group of guys about some match he fought a few years ago.  As interesting as it was, I needed to find Kayla.  When I tried to pull my hand from his, he squeezed tighter turning to me.

“I need to go speak to Kayla a moment.”

“Okay Angel.  I’ll be over there in a few minutes.”  He said with a smile, kissing me softly on the lips.

Hurrying away, I went right over to Kayla and hit her in the arm.  She laughed when she realized it was me.

“Were you ever going to tell me that he was your brother?” I whispered.

“I didn’t know until we were talking to him at the fight in the ring and he told us he thought he finally found his girl.  When we drilled him for details,” she shrugs. “I kind of put two and two together.”

“Well, thanks for filling me in
friend.
” I said with a smile.

“You’re welcome.” She said cheerfully.

I laughed.  It was good to have a friend I could joke with. 

“Did you ever think that maybe telling me the truth might have worked better than letting me get hurt like this?”

Her face dropped as she hit Jason in the stomach.  With an ‘oaf’ sound, Jason turned to Kayla.  “What was that for?”

“I told you I should have told her, but noooo you said to let them figure it out themselves.”

“Uh, sorry?” He said obviously confused.

I started laughing.  Honestly, I don’t know why I was
laughing, but for some reason his confusion was just hilarious to me.  Soon Kayla joined in and Jason looked even more confused, which had Kayla and me laughing harder.

The laughter stopped when I
was shoved from behind and knocked into Kayla, who fell against Jason.  Turning around to face the evil woman who had been causing so many problems for me and Carson and everything in me wanted to beat the living shit out of her.  Instead, I stood there and took a deep breath before responding.

“I’m sorry do I know you?”  My voice dripping with disdain.

“You should.  You need to back off my boyfriend.”  She pushed me again.

Just as I was about to lay into her, Carson’s arms came around my waist and he gently kissed my neck before whispering in my ear.

“Just ignore her.  I’m with you and only you.  Don’t make a scene to hurt the foundations chances of taking off.  I’ll take care of this, okay?”

I turned my head facing him and smiled.  “Okay,” I whispered before kissing him softly on the lips and to get him going I wiggled slightly against him, earning the desired effect.

He nipped my ear. “You’ll pay for that later.”  Then he stood up, still holding me and facing her.  “We have not ever dated and you are to stay away from me.” He lifted his head toward an approaching officer.  “Here’s your warning.  Heed it and remember, next I’ll have you arrested.”

The officer handed her a piece of paper and escorted her out of the clinic.  It was a relief to see her go.  I let out the breath I was holding and sagged against Carson.

“She’s gone.” He kissed my temple before turning to Jason.  “Now that we know her name can we do something about her now?  That paper isn’t going to stop her.”

“I’ll get in touch with Nate and see what he can do.” Jason said pulling out his phone.

“Get in touch with me about what?” Nate said, walking up kissing Kayla on the cheek.

Nate was then brought up to speed about the whole situation with this chick.  He looked about as happy as Carson sounded telling the story.  I was then informed what role Nate played in Kayla’s story as well as how Jason and Nate go way back.  Everyone was so open and honest about
everything, it kind of made me feel like I wasn’t worthy to stand with them.  One day he will ask about my past, the question remains on if I will tell him.

The luncheon went by with no further events and I began to get real comfortable in Carson’s company.  We joked and teased each other, but we also got the job we were there for done.  I managed to secure five donations and three proposed properties to use to house the shelter.
 

“The placement of the shelter, to me, is important.  We need the shelter to provide a sense of safety and security.  That wouldn’t be achieved in all areas of
town, even if we have top of the line security systems.  Furthermore, in order for the shelter to be beneficial we need them to reach out so there also needs to be a level of secrecy as well.  A few things to consider when making your offers today, Ladies and Gentlemen.”

When I sat after my speech, Carson leaned over and whispered in my ear, “You are sexy as hell when you talk all business like. I think I have another fantasy.”  He leaned back and winked at me.

I giggled. “Oh God!” My hands flew up to my mouth.

“What?” Carson
asked, completely alarmed.

“I just fucking giggled, like one of those bimbos down there that keep looking at you playing with their hair.  What have you done to me?”  I
whispered, horrified with myself.

Carson’s
loud, sudden laughter caught me off guard.  I stared at him.  It brought back all those fantasies I had about his laughter and many of our conversations that caused that laughter.  He was sexy with his broody, I can’t smile face, but when he did smile…his face lit up like the sky on the Fourth of July.  It was breathtaking.

“What’s so funny Curry?”  Kayla asked with a huge smile on her face and a tender look.

He just shook his head and hugged me tightly.  It was moments like this that I’m glad I’m giving this a try.  Aside from evil winch, I have not felt like an outsider today.  No loneliness.  Carson not only has a profound effect on me over the phone, but as it turns out an even stronger one in person.

After a few hours, I was actually exhausted.  Everyone had finally left and we all sat around talking about the shelter and deciding we need to meet again since the last one was botched.  We all agreed to meet at about five tomorrow evening for supper and the meeting at Kayla and Jason’s.  Carson took my hand and walked me to the passenger side of his truck.

“Who says I don’t want to take a cab again?” I ask trying to keep a straight face.

He pushes me against the side of his truck before taking my mouth with his.  It wasn’t a hard kiss like earlier, but it wasn’t soft either.  There was
hunger and passion there.  It consumed me.  It was so intense that I actually whimpered when he pulled away.

He smiled down at me.  “My
girlfriend
is not riding in a cab when I am standing right here.”  He said not looking too sure of himself all of a sudden.