Falling to Pieces (18 page)

“So,
have you talked to your sister lately?” I asked Sawyer.

“Yeah,
just briefly the other day. She didn’t seem like herself. Sad even.”

“Aaron
too. But he seems to be making progress. He accepted the choice he made and I
think he made the right one. It will take time for both of them, but I think
they will realize it’s for the better.” I replied.

“I
guess. I just thought she was starting to tame her wild ways. Guess she still
has some things to get out of her system. Sounds awfully familiar.” Sawyer
leaned my way and bumped my shoulder. I just smiled back knowing she was right,
but didn’t feel like trying to deny it or open that can of worms.

“They
are young and so are we. Being too serious is no fun.” Becka stated.

“Says
the girl who is ‘experimenting, yeah, I bet you’re having fun.” I leaned toward
Becka and passed along the shoulder bump.

“Hey
now! It is fun, but it is also serious. I think the experiment is over.” Her
tone got serious. “I’m falling for her, guys.”

“
Awwww
,
Becka’s
in love!” I
couldn’t hold back. “
Woooo
Hooooo
!”

“I’m
done with you, and those shots are the devil, Sawyer.” She busted out in
laughter and we all fell into a fit of giggles.

The bar
was packed and the band was just starting to set up. We all grabbed our drinks
and headed to a table near the dance floor. I spotted Dave on the far side of
the stage and threw up a wave and winked. He smiled big and winked back. I was
so happy with the way our relationship has flourished. Who knew I could become
friends, and strictly friends, with such a gorgeous guy and not feel necessary
to get naked with him every chance I got. I was so happy he was getting the
chance to make it work with his ex, and it made me really want to give this
thing a chance with Sam. The connection between us was undeniable and the more
I pushed, the closer I felt to him.

Dave
made his way over to say hi and let us know they were about to begin. We
ordered another round and brought them with us to the dance floor. The lights
dimmed and the drums began a slow beat. The guitar crashed in and we jumped
with the beat and began our dance-a-thon in the front row. The songs rolled
right after one another and we were having a blast.

Dave
switched to his acoustic guitar and I knew exactly which song he was going to
play. It was my favorite in the set. We all got closer to the stage and swayed
to the ballad. Dave’s voice turned to velvet as he sang a cappella during the
bridge. He reached for my hand and planted a playful kiss on it, before
spinning me around like a ballerina. The girls in the crowd all screamed and it
sounded as though they all had some of those shots Sawyer made earlier. He
continued to make the crowd jealous and serenaded me for the remainder of the
song. He always did know how to put on a good show.

The song
came to an end and they played a couple more before he announced they would be
back after a short intermission. They had so many songs that sometimes they
would split up the set and make it a double show. Becka and Sawyer went to say
hi to their other halves and I made my way to the bar to say hi to my favorite
bartender.

“Hey
ugly. Got a shot for me?” I asked nicely.

“You
wish. At least, if I were ugly, you would have an easier time ignoring my
dripping sex appeal. And yes, I do have a shot for you.”

I rolled
my eyes and replied, “Yep that’s it. All that dripping sex appeal, just so hard
to resist.”

He
smiled and turned to the back of the bar grabbing a few different bottles and
shaking them up. Damn it, Chad and your dripping sex appeal. My eyes drifted to
his backside, which was no match for Sam, but still top five in my favorite
backsides of the century. There’s no harm in window-shopping, as long as he
doesn’t catch me. I would hate to feed into that silly ego of his.

I divert
my gaze and look next to me on the bar noticing a nearly full drink unoccupied.
By the color and smell of it, most likely a Jack and Coke. It instantly made me
think of Sam, and I imagined him walking up next to me to pick up and take a
sip before kissing me with his sweet whiskey breath. Gosh, I missed him and
couldn’t wait to see him.

Chad
turned back around and placed the shot in front of me. “After you.” He said.

I gave
him my devilish ‘I don’t trust you’ gaze but tipped the shot back anyway. And
as usual, it was damn good.

“Nicely
done. That one was really good. Enlighten me, Sensei.” I wave my hand toward
the empty glass wondering what he came up with this time.

“That my
dear is a ‘Jealous Queen’.” He smiled and I just shook my head. He wiped up the
counter and then nodded toward the glass I was admiring and asked, “Why did Sam
leave so soon?”

My heart
fell to my stomach.

“What?
Sam?
As in tall, blonde, handsome…my Sam?
Are you
sure?”

What the
hell was he talking about? Sam wouldn’t be home until tomorrow morning.

“Yeah, I’m
sure. He ordered this drink and then sat at the edge of the bar sipping it,
while watching the band. I didn’t have much time to chat since the bar was
lined with beautiful women waiting for the hottest bartender to serve them, and
when I made my way back down to this side of the bar he was already gone.

“That’s
weird. He didn’t even say hi. I thought he wasn’t coming home until tomorrow. I
am so confused.” I pulled my phone from my purse and sent him a text.

You’re
home! Why did you leave, I was here on the dance floor. Did you not see me?

Not a
word. I waited a few minutes and then called. It went straight to voicemail.

So weird.
Was he mad? Why would he be mad?

“Hey
sugar, we are about to head back on stage.” Dave practically scared me half to
death. I didn’t notice him come up on me as I was staring at my phone waiting
for Sam to text back. “Hey you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,
sorry. I am just trying to get a hold of Sam. Apparently, he came home early
and was here, but then left without saying hi.”

“That’s
strange. Maybe you should go see if he is okay. Need me to find you a ride?” Dave
seemed concerned and it made me start to worry.

“No, I
can walk. He doesn’t live too far from here. Have a good rest of the show. I’ll
text you later.” I gave Dave a hug and thanked Chad for the drinks, quickly
making my way to the door. I asked Dave and Chad to let the girls know I left,
but I also sent them a quick text.

The
entire way to his apartment I must have called six more times and sent a couple
more texts. Maybe he was sick and had to run home. It just wasn’t making any
sense. He came home early and didn’t even text me.

I
knocked fiercely on the door, as my heart nearly beat out of my chest. I
practically ran here and my nerves were causing my heart rate to increase by
the second. I could hear noise from the inside, like someone was stumbling
around and stammering.

Was he drunk?

“Sam,
open up. It’s me.” I said sweetly through the door, hoping he could hear my
voice and I continued to knock a few more times.

After a
few moments, which seemed like forever, the door swung open mid knock and
caused me to jump back. Sam stood broad in the doorway with one arm on the
frame and the other holding open the door.

“What
!?
” he shouted and then lowered his voice, without masking
the emotion. “Oh how can I help you princess?” He was definitely drunk and
seriously angry.

“What
the fuck? Why such an attitude?” I ducked under his arm and made my way into
his apartment turning around to face him as he shut the door.

“Well,
come on in. You always do what you want anyways.” He stumbled right past me and
into the kitchen looking around on the countertops.

“Seriously,
Sam. Why are you mad at me, and how did you get so damn drunk? Chad said you
only sipped on your drink and then left.”

He found
what he was looking for as I watched him lift the bottle of Jack to his lips
and take a swig. The half empty bottle was the answer to my question. It
dripped down his chin and he wiped it off with the back of his hand, then
carried the bottle into the living room, walking right past me and sitting down
on the futon focused on the TV.

“Sam.
Are you kidding me?” I waved at him as if he didn’t even know I was there. “Did
you not see me at Penny’s? Why didn’t you find me?”

“Ha. I
did find you. And trust me, I saw more than I wanted to see. Shouldn’t you get
back to watch your boyfriend’s band finish their set?” He waved at the door
signaling me to leave.

My mouth
popped open, stunned at his words. I was nearly speechless, but not quite.

“You’re
kidding, right? I have been so excited, waiting for you to come home and you
can’t even text me to tell me you’re here! And what did you see? Me having fun!
Dancing with my friends!” I threw my hands up in the air. I just didn’t
understand.

He was
laughing to himself and shaking his head. I glanced at the table in the dining
room and saw a bottle of wine and bouquet of flowers surrounded by fallen
petals as if they had been sitting there without water and were slammed down
onto the table.

“I just
can’t win with you. I finally feel like we are getting somewhere, I come home
early to surprise you and sweep you out of the bar for dinner and wine, only to
find you being serenaded and shamelessly flirted with in front of everyone. He might
as well have just pulled you on stage and fucked you right there. You would
have liked that wouldn’t you?” His brows furrowed as his voice was increasing.

“Fuck
you. Dave is my friend, and knows that is my favorite song. He’s a performer
and likes to put on a show for everyone—“

“Yeah,
and you just love the attention. Always have.”

“This is
ridiculous. You’re drunk and talking out of your ass.”

Now I
was pissed.

“This is
what you do, Chey. You build me up, and then tear me down. You never know what
the fuck you want and I’m always here waiting for you to figure it out. I must
be fucking dumb. I mean, how well do you know this guy?”

“He’s
the singer of our favorite band. We all know him from Penny’s. He is our friend
and he’s a really nice guy. You would like him.” I say hoping he doesn’t push
the issue.

There
was an
eery
silence for a brief moment as he leaned
his elbows to his knees with his head down. Slowly lifting his face, he locked
his eyes intensely with mine.

“Have
you fucked him?” His painful expression caused my heart to ache and it was as
if I could feel tiny pieces beginning to fall to my stomach in chunks. I was
speechless. I didn’t want to talk about this now, not while he was drunk. He
would never understand that it meant nothing to me. But I also didn’t want to
lie.

Apparently,
I took too long to answer.

“Get
out.” He said as he returned his gaze to the ground, keeping his elbows on his
knees with his hands folded together.

“Sam,
let me—“

“Get the
fuck out, Cheyenne!” He stood up quickly as his voice rose. “I don’t want to
see your face.”

The
tears were already at my chin and I turned to the door without another word. After
closing it behind me, I sank to the floor. The tears were falling, but there
was no cries coming out of my throat. I was in shock. He just doesn’t
understand. Why is he being so irrational? Oh that’s right, he’s drunk. And now
I wasn’t. This damn fight sobered me up real quick.

The more
I sat and replayed the recent events in my mind, the more upset I got. And not
weepy sad upset, I was getting angry upset. He was being an asshole and I
didn’t deserve that. I slept with Dave way before I even knew Sam moved to town.
In fact, I haven’t been with anyone since he moved here.

Fuck this shit.

I stood
up, straightened out my clothes, checked my face in my compact and left the
building. I shook it off and headed back to the bar. This asshole would not
ruin my night.

“What a dick.” I must have muttered this statement at least ten
times on my way back to Penny’s.

As I approach the building, the length of the line seems to grow
with each step. It is times like these that I am especially thankful to be on
the permanent guest list and able to walk right in past security like I own the
place. You would think I should have some kind of stock by now with the amount
of money I have poured into this place since.

           
The
upbeat music floods my ears as I make my way through the crowd and squeeze in between
two frat boys at the bar.

           
“Excuse
me gentleman, it’s been a long night so far, and I’m in no mood to wait for a
drink.” I wave at Chad who nods as I catch his attention.

The two guys I interrupted lift their hands in surrender and
laugh at my comment.

           
“Sure
thing, sexy. I would never get in the way of a lady and her…” he looks at me
and then to Chad who has now made his way over.

           
“Vodka
Cran
?” Chad asks me.

           
“Hell
yeah,
make
it a triple. And thank you…” I reach out my
hand turning to my right. I guess I should be nice to the guy who just bought
me a drink, although, I really should be just swearing off men altogether at
this point.

“What a dick.” I mutter under my breath. Just thinking about Sam
was causing my mood to deteriorate quickly.

           
“I’m
Jacob and this is Brian.” He points at his friend behind me. “And you’re
welcome. Hope it helps with the mood.” The tall, muscular frat boy flashes me a
toothy smile then signals his friend and they both walk away.

           
“Really
running them off tonight, huh? Did you find Sam?” Normally Chad’s comments
didn’t ever faze me, but tonight he was instantly under my skin, mostly because
he was right.

           
“Blow
me. I need a shot.”

           
“Shit,
woman. Sorry if I hit a nerve, you okay?” Chad asked sincerely.

“Sorry, boo, just not a good night. Got something to make me
forget the last hour?”

           
“You
know I do. Give me one sec.” He turned to the back bar and began his usual
technique of mixing and showboating his skills while all the ladies at the bar
swoon. He slid the small glass towards me and without asking I picked it up and
slammed it back.

“
Whoo
. That should do the trick.” I
say as my throat begins to heat up.

“Hope so. That right there is a mind eraser. You should be
feeling much better soon.” He winked and I took a long swig of my drink in
attempt to cool my throat.

“Thanks.” I reply and place the straw back between my lips.

I needed my mind to leave me alone and stop making me feel bad
for something I didn’t even know I did. In less time than it took me to think
my last thought, I heard the slurping of ice cubes at the bottom of my cup. As
I lifted my eyes from the bar to look for Chad, I instantly notice my
increasing buzz.

Finally.

“
Tres
vodka,
por
favor!” I holler towards Chad who laughs and shakes his head at my poor drunken
attempt at the romantic language.

“Si, senorita.
Viniendo
Derecha
Arriba.” He yells back. Who knew, he spoke Spanish
so well? I sure as hell didn’t, and it was HOT! I guess it makes sense. He did showcase
a little Latin flavor and he sure was suave. Damn, I bet he can dance.

           
“Here
you go. Another,
tres
vodka.” He mocks.

           
“Gracias.
Muy
caliente
.” I winked at
him and began my race to the bottom of the cup.

           
“Relax,
lady. You might want to slow down.”

Really? Relax? Who says that to a girl who is clearly having a
bad night? He should just do his job and keep the drinks flowing.

           
“Hey,
buddy why don’t you just relax and let me do what I want. I am paying you for
these, right? I thought so. Just keep them coming. I can handle myself. Not my
first rodeo, cowboy.” I was starting to really get tired of everyone judging me
tonight.

           
“Listen,
I was just looking out for you and making sure you don’t do anything dumb. But,
hey, if you want to keep drinking until you puke, by all means, let me help.”
He turned around and before I could reply he had another shot in front of me.

           
“Thanks.
But like I said, I can handle myself.” I threw back the shot and went out to
the dance floor.

If anyone else wanted to judge me, they can do it right here on
the floor as they watch me get my jam on.

           
The
night went on and on, and then it stopped. Well, at least my memory of it
stopped. As I rolled onto my back, I could see more of the sun than I was used
to coming through the window.

Damn it.

If my brain was beating any harder, it was sure to explode right
through my skull. The body next me rolled over and I had never been more
thankful to see Dave, than this very moment.

           
“Morning,
killer. There is a water and medicine on the table next to you.”

           
“Oh
thank you, Jesus.” I rolled back to the other side of the bed and made sure to
drink nice and slow. My stomach was feeling weak and I needed to make sure this
pill stayed down so I could eventually move from this spot.

           
“I’ll
take you home soon, just need a few more minutes of sleep.” Dave grumbled.

           
“Glad
I’m not the only one hung over.” I sighed and lay back onto the pillow.

           
“Not
quite. Just tired. Had to help a friend toss her cookies all night.”

           
“Oh,
crap. Sorry friend. I didn’t mean for you to have to take care of me.”

           
“It’s
all good. But you owe me. Big time.” He reached his arm across the bed and
rubbed my arm.

           
“Thanks,
Dave.” I closed my eyes and we both drifted back to sleep.

           
After
another hour of sleep, Dave and I eventually crawled out of bed and headed to
my apartment. It was a nice quiet ride, he knew better than to ask about my
‘feelings’, at least not this morning; too soon.

           
Pulling
into the parking lot we share a quick hug and I climb out of his car and make
my way up the stairs to my apartment. The insane pounding in my head was
increasing with each step on the incline of the stairs and I wanted nothing
more than to sprint straight up them and dive into my bed. However, there would
be no sprinting this morning, I was having a hard enough time focusing, just
watching as each foot climbed to the next step with my hand clutching to the
rail. Only a few more and I would be home free. Well at least I thought I was.

           
“Jesus,
Mary &…Ouch!” I flung my hand to my heart and then to my head. Practically
experiencing a heart attack, and then yelling so loud I nearly caused hemorrhaging
in my swollen brain. Sam could not have been worse with timing. Was he really
standing at my door witnessing my personal walk of shame?

           
“Rough
night. Well, glad you were well taken care of.” His expression was hard and his
eyes moved from my face to my shirt.

           
“Excuse
me?” It took me a moment before I realized what he must have seen. I was still
wearing Dave’s shirt from the night before. “Whatever, you have no idea what
you are talking about.” I reached into my bag and felt around for my keys.

           
“You’re
right. I would be wrong to assume that you could just jump into bed with
another guy after we argued last night. That would be so out of character for
you. ”

           
“You’re
shitting me, right?” I did not have time for this; again, too soon. “Sam, you
need to go. You are making assumptions and couldn’t be more wrong. I’m going
inside now. Call me when you grow up and want to talk like adults.”

           
“Grow
up? Me?” He was now smirking and shaking his head. “Funny thing is, I came here
to apologize for my behavior last night. But lucky me, gets to watch you
stumble up the stairs after what appears to be a hell of a night with some
other sucker and now…I’m only sorry I ever cared.” He took his hands from his
pockets and held them up in surrender. “Maybe we both need to grow up and move
on.” He turned toward the stairs and disappeared from my view.

           
I
really did it this time. I was in no shape to defend myself and couldn’t even
get out a word to stop him from leaving. The situation was weighing on me as I
stood there another minute after he left before finally unlocking the door and
going to my room. With a quick shower and an episode of
Will and Grace
, I was happily snoozing.