Falling Stars (29 page)

"Fuck,
Mia, what are you doing up?"

"I
asked you a question first." I reminded in my best parental tone.

"I
couldn't sleep." she shrugged. "What about you?"

"Yeah
right," I rolled my eyes. "I was thirsty." Lie. There was no way
I was going to fess up to the physical effect Chris was having on me.

We
studied each other's face, knowing we weren't being completely honest. After
saying good night, I went back to bed.

Christopher
had rolled over to the other side. He was twitching and mumbling in his sleep.
I didn't know if I should wake him or stay back.
What if he was having a
nightmare?

Climbing
onto the bed next to him, I was startled when his eyes snapped open and the
loud gasp left his mouth. I stopped moving. His breathing was ragged as he
wiped his face. Feeling watched, his head snapped to where I stood next to the
bed.

"You
weren't here?" he questioned in a whisper.

"I-uh-
couldn't sleep," Lifting the bottle in my hands. "I got up to get a
drink." I felt horrible, like it was my fault.

Putting
the water bottle on the nightstand next to the bed, I slid under the covers.
His breathing was still erratic and his body was tense.

"You
okay?"

"Yeah,"
he whispered.

"Sorry,"
I whispered back.

"For
what?"

"Leaving."
I barely got the words out.

"You're
not a prisoner," he chuckled in a hushed tone.

I
rolled to my side and fell asleep.

*
* * * *

Jesus,
did she really think she had to apologize for my nightmares. I'm such a douche
bag.

Rolling
over I could smell her scent. Inhaling deep but quietly, her breathing started
to slow and regulate which indicating she was asleep.

I
don't know what compelled me, but I reached out and touched the hair splayed
out over the pillow. It was so soft and warm. Leaning in closer to her, the
scent intensified. The last thing I remember is closing my eyes and deeply
breathing her in.

A
knock on the door woke me. With a heavy sigh, I opened my eyes to darkness. A
flash of panic set in, until I realized it was Mia's hair. Immediately aware of
our tangled bodies, I pulled back when the door started to open. Mia stirred.
When she started to stretch, I moved my face away so I wasn’t hit again.

"Wake
up! We have to get going." Kat entered the room. "Oh by the way…I'm
borrowing this shirt." She grabbed a shirt from the closet.

Mia
groaned, "Go away."

I
chuckled.

"Get
up. Breakfast is out here and we're leaving in a few hours. You have to get
your bags tagged."

"Tag
this."

Laughter
erupted from my chest when Mia flipped Kat her middle finger.

"Sorry
sleeping beauty, you're not my type; however, your rock star right there is
pretty hot." Kat winked with a devious smile.

"There
you go Christopher…" Mia yawned, "An open invitation. Don't you have
a thing for blondes?"

I
didn't know what to say. Many people knew my reputation and knew my preference
for blondes, but it hurt… yeah, it hurt when she said that.

"I
doubt my invitation means anything when he already has an open invitation to
your bed."

Mia
grabbed her water bottle from the side table and tossed it at Kat. She ducked
and ran out laughing.

That
was my cue to leave. Sliding on my shoes, I looked over to Mia, still buried
underneath her blanket. Her comment was still nagging at me when I left her
room.

When
I got to my room, Doctor J was sitting in the living room.

"Oh
shit," I looked toward the clock, "Is it that late?"

"You're
not that late, just a couple of minutes" he smiled. "Have a seat."
He patted the couch. "I take it you were sleeping?" He gave a small
grin.

Nodding,
I grabbed some coffee before I made my way to the chair.

"So
how are things going?"

I
shrugged.

"Come
on Christopher, you need to give me something or I might as well go."
Putting my head back on the chair, I closed my eyes and wished I were still in
bed – with Mia. "Any new developments or everything pretty much the same?"

Taking
a deep breath I told him about the dream I had of my mother; the non-nightmare
of just her and me. He nodded as I spoke. Then I went on to tell him about last
night when Mia had gotten out of bed. He kept nodding and saying nothing. We
sat in silence for a moment while he processed everything.

"What
do you think the dream of your mother was about?" He sat back and put an
arm on the back of the couch.

I
shrugged.

"I
don't know. I've never had that one before."

"How
did the dream make you feel?"

I
groaned.

"I
know you hate the feelings question, but humor me."

"I
don’t know," I sipped my coffee, "it felt comforting, I guess, at
first anyways."

"At
first?" He probed further.

"Yeah,
in the end she was gone," I sighed, "and I felt alone."

"Has
anything changed lately, I mean on a day to day basis?"

I
shook my head.

"Hmm…tell
me about the past two days, give me as much detail as you can about each day
from start to finish." I was annoyed, but and started to tell him my days
in detail. He sat quietly listening and sipping his coffee.

"So
you've actually started to form an amicable relationship with the girls?"

Shrugging,
I gave a small nod.

"Well
I can't tell you what your dreams mean; however, I believe you're making some
progress in your own head. If you could just let go and talk –"

"We
already discussed that. It's not an option, Doc!" I spit out.

"Okay,
well…I'm going to come to Chicago with you so we can talk more the day after
your concert."

I
looked to him and then at the clock. We had barely made it forty-five minutes.

"I
know we're cutting it short, but you have to get on your bus and we most likely
won't get any further today." He stood up "So I'll let you get going.
And Christopher?"

I
looked up to him.

"Think
about what I've been asking you to do." Before I could protest he
continued, "Just consider it."

Nodding,
I rolled my eyes.

"Oh
and one more thing."

Annoyance
all over my face, I looked to him again.

"Are
you sure you've never been in love?"

He
left me, with a furrowed brow, before I could question him or could give him an
answer.

Everyone
was on the bus when I climbed on.

"Hey
man," Elliott said without looking away from his handheld video game.

"Hey,"
I replied.

"Ready
for a long trip?" Jackson lounged on the couch with a movie starting on
the TV.

"Yeah,
sure."

In
my bedroom on the bus, I got my notebook and guitar. Jimmy snoring from a bunk
outside my room was grating on my nerves.

We
made one stop on the way to Chicago, but other than that, it was straight to
the arena for rehearsals. Mia and I rehearsed on the stage one more time before
we performed tonight. Richard had unexpectedly joined us in Chicago, so both of
us knew we had to make the performance its best.

The
rehearsals went smoothly and the girls were finishing their last song of the
night. When led out to the stage, we passed the girls. Mia rushed to wardrobe
with annoyance on her face as the make-up and hair people were all over her.

Taking
my center position on stage the audience start to cheer and chant. Looking to
my left there was movement in the shadows. Mia was getting into position.

The
song started.

As
I began singing, a single spotlight illuminated me. The crowd erupted. Mia
joined in with her own spotlight. The intensity of her approach rippled over my
skin. She started walking toward the front of the stage, beginning her solo
verse.

Following
her, we got to the front of the stage and backed away as rehearsed. Turning
back toward each other, I saw her for the first time tonight. The intensity was
there in her dark eyes, her hair pulled up loosely with pieces hanging out, her
make-up was a little darker and the dress she was wearing made my stomach flip.

The
black dress reached to the floor and flowed around her body with every movement.
A studded belt ran just below her breasts, accentuating her curves, and one strap
ran over her left shoulder.

The
moment she took my breath away, was thankfully an instrumental part. I had time
to regroup before we started the final verse. With my arm tightly wrapped
around her waist, I sang the last word and put my forehead against the side of
her head. The audience erupted into cheers, chanting our names. I inhaled
deeply and tightened my hold on her.

My
entire being protested when she pulled away and waved to the crowd, leaving the
stage. It took everything in me to let her leave. The cheers and applause faded
in my ears watching her walk away.

"She
won't be on tour with you forever" rang between my ears. "Oh and one
more thing" I looked back to Doctor J. "Are you sure that you've
never been in love? "

Elliott
started tapping out our next song, snapping me from my daze. Pulling myself
together, the rest of the concert went according to schedule.

Walking
through the lobby, multiple fans had congregated. With pictures, posters,
t-shirts and pens in hand, they pressed forward through security for
autographs.  I was signing the t-shirt on the back left shoulder of a fan, when
one of the girl’s security guards shouted.

"Step
back, young man." His voice boomed and his thick muscled arm pushed back a
dark haired man.

"I
know them." He pushed at the security guys arm. "Mia, Serena,"
he called out, "we went to school together!"

Mid
eye roll of the commonly used statement, my back stiffened when Mia turned to
him.  She called off the guard and pulled the guy into a one armed hug.  Serena
quickly joined them. 

The
fans calling out to me faded into nothingness. I watched her pose for pictures
and sign a book the guy produced.
Is that a yearbook?
My hands balled
into fists and the pen in my hand snapped.  The ink collected in the crease of
my fingers.

There
was laughter and more embracing. No matter how hard I listened, there was nothing
that helped me figure out who this guy was.

By
the time, we all congregated in the elevator, all the talk was around the guy
Serena and Mia were just posing with.  Kat and Laney seemed disappointed to
have missed him, but all were excited to have a fan they knew.

 
I
hated him, but why should I? She could be with whoever she wanted.  She was
single, right?
Then it struck me.
Maybe she’s not.  Is there someone in
her life?  Someone I don’t know about?
My stomach knotted.

Once
on our floor, the girls disappeared into their room, still conversing over the
idiot from the lobby.

"Well
who the fuck was that?" Elliott growled when we entered our room.

Jimmy
chuckled.

"I
don't know." Jackson tried to play it cool about the stranger.

I
walked directly to the shower.

The
thoughts of her having a boyfriend, a lover, or a goddamn fuck-buddy were
eating at me.
Was this why I never saw anyone around? Was there some guy,
her guy?
The hot water wasn't easing my tension at all. Climbing out, I
dried off, and found a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. I couldn't get the image
out of my head or the knot in the pit of my stomach.
I hate this guy.

I
released a groan into the empty room.
Why do I even care?

After
the television proved an unsuccessful distraction, I tried sleeping. Before I
closed my eyes, I knew it was a mistake, but I just couldn't go there and see
her with him. My mind raced back to my session this morning.

"Oh
and one more thing" I looked back to doctor J. "Are you sure that you've
never been in love?"

Was
that really it…did I have stronger feelings for her than I wanted to admit? No.
Is it supposed to feel this way? No. This wasn't love. This is irritation
because I just wanted to sleep, but couldn’t stop thinking about this boyfriend
I’d created for Mia.
Falling asleep with a pounding headache,
the haunting of my past crashed on me full force.

The
smell of sulfur filled my nostrils, the taste of sweat and tears on my tongue,
and the fear. The fear was like a dense fog. My mother lay dead, but morphed in
a ripple of blood into Mia. Dropping to my knees, I pulled her lifeless figure
into my arms cradling and sobbing.